160 posts shown.
placidranger said:There might be some decent stuff buried in The Secret—I'm not saying there isn't—it's just mostly been overhyped and watered down into something overly simplistic.
placidranger said:I agree.
First off, switching careers isn't nearly as rare in the States as people think.
Second—and this is the big one—everyone is constantly chasing parental approval and looking for that validation. It’s a universal human drive, sure, but once you actually sit down and weigh your priorities against your values, personal fulfillment and finding actual meaning always come first. You'll find yourself staring at your own reflection in the mirror far more often than you'll be looking for your father's nod of approval.
brighteagle39 said:I truly empathize with what you're going through, and I can tell you from experience that obsessive infatuation is absolute misery. I went through a similar phase once where I was obsessively enamored with someone, and looking back, it never led to anything positive.
It was nothing but heartache and constant mental exhaustion. I honestly regret the amount of time I wasted on those feelings.
Being in love is one thing, but being obsessed is quite another, because that kind of intensity just tears you apart.
My advice to you is this: try to break free as soon as possible, because this state of mind is more draining than any sickness.
placidranger said:I'm talking about specific mechanisms that actually improve quality of life—like giving thanks to a higher power. I don't see an equivalent for an atheist. What then? Giving thanks to yourself?It's a shame nobody can live two parallel lives to figure out if things would truly be easier without faith.
What about converts?
What drives them to cling so tightly to their newfound faith? You see it with addicts in rehab centers finding "Jesus," or even just regular folks who suddenly embrace religion after a car wreck or some other trauma.
Edward Flores4 said:Good luck with that. If you want to find a true replacement, it has to have "something" in it—some kind of mechanism that takes the weight of responsibility for all human actions, allowing people to act on their whims while still having the option for an occasional confession. That way, they can go out and mess things up for others, then turn around and ask God for forgiveness. Honestly, even finding one single mechanism like that feels like a stretch, but hey, that's just my two cents... take it or leave it.
Irony isn't some tangible "ingredient" you can point to... it’s all about perspective, or more specifically, how he sees things in his own head.
It’s a shame nobody can live two parallel lives at once—that would be the only way to figure out if things actually *are* easier for them because of their faith, or if it's just an illusion.
placidranger said:I'm an optimist too, though I swapped faith in God for faith in myself. It feels like, at the core, there's just this ancient, wise God acting as a construct we use to communicate with our own subconscious.
It's easy to stay religious when a prayer actually works once or twice.
placidranger said:If someone thinks they're happy, then they are. Happiness is a subjective category, and to me, it’s pretty vital.
What I'm actually trying to do is find a substitute for the mechanisms that religion provides. Roba mentioned optimism as one component of that.A perfect example would be a guy in the States who was convicted of murder—I think it was even life without parole—and years later, once science had developed DNA profiling, his lawyers requested new testing knowing he was innocent. Since the samples were preserved, it turned out he really wasn't guilty, and they freed him after he'd spent decades behind bars for something he didn't do. When he got out, he gave an interview to the press and said, "I thank God, I knew He wouldn't allow this..." It's ironic. Science sets him free, yet he gives the credit to God. One scientist commented on it, saying he'd rather kill himself than wait for science to bail him out. Only that specific brand of faith can force a man to endure something like that.
I don't see the irony. In his mind, God is the one who facilitated everything—including scientific progress.In his case, science stepped in to assist God. Maybe for him, the belief paid off, but for many others, it never does, despite believing their entire lives.
Maybe it just makes life easier for them.
Megan White4 said:Just a few more months until graduation—then I can finally get to work. 🙄 )...
Well, damn. If the old folks had actually listened to me instead of following everyone else’s advice back when I was picking a college, I wouldn't be in this mess. They insisted on forcing two failed majors down my throat, effectively wasting four years of my life on nothing. It was all under that classic "we know what's best for you" mentality.
placidranger said:Look, if you had just listened to your gut and picked what you actually wanted... you're still shifting the blame onto them, just like you're doing now with your old job. That mindset isn't going to get you anywhere.
Nicholas Bishop46 said:It isn't an issue if he shares an apartment with his mother, provided she is actually on board with the arrangement. The real problem here is that he’s studying at NYU, yet he acts like it's perfectly normal for his mom to foot the bill for his gas. Come on, get serious.
Aaron Wilson4 said:Go Scott!
Are you seriously telling me you're twenty-seven years old and still living at home with your mom? I mean, really? Is there absolutely nothing in your life that's actually under your own control yet?👎
Aaron Harris2 said:How does one effectively support a pessimistic individual who seems perpetually driven to extract negative connotations from every situation, maintaining a perspective that lacks even a glimmer of light or positive energy??!!??
To make matters more complicated, this person is only 22 years old, yet they insist on arguing that everyone perceives reality through their own unique lens—therefore, they aren't being "pessimistic," they are simply experiencing things "differently"!!!
Take, for instance, the loss of a job that was widely expected to evolve into a permanent career path during those formative years; to most, this wouldn't be an irreversible catastrophe. But not to them. They immediately spiral into extremes, engaging in endless cycles of overthinking and mental rumination, and despite all that internal churning, absolutely nothing changes in their mindset... they just end up right back where they started, repeating the same patterns. It is a constant, heavy preoccupation. I try my absolute best to radiate positivity, firmly telling them that they cannot think this way, that such a outlook is far too dark and negative, and that they simply need to shake it off because there are millions of opportunities waiting for them out there... but once again... nothing works! 🤷
What steps can be taken to provide actual assistance? What are the first, second, and lasting ways to help??!😕
mistybison said:Passion is just another kind of drug—it's simply the natural version. 😁
Tyler Bishop56 said:Getting up sucks if you went too hard out with friends the night before, but it’s great on sunny weekends. Brushing your teeth is fine. Washing your face feels refreshing. You can change your diet if you hate what you're eating. TV isn't mandatory. Hobbies and guys don't just show up on your doorstep; they're out there somewhere. You know how to think, unlike a lot of people, so why aren't you taking action? Just start. Run away to somewhere where nobody knows you—maybe just a drive to a nearby city a few hours away—and don't expect anything more than a cup of coffee in the sun. Forget about the seasons entirely: don't even expect that.
amberseal13 said:Once you start antidepressants, after about a month, colors get brighter, food starts having flavor, and people will finally love you just as much as you love them...
You'll look up at the sky in awe and say, "I've never seen blue like this before."
It's special.
The night will have its own magic.
Everything will feel like paradise.🙂
George Garcia9 said:That’s a heavy question—honestly, I find myself asking the same thing every single day. What’s the point of all this? This daily grind... does any of it actually matter? Is there some kind of deeper value to it all, or are we just spinning our wheels?
Jeremy Thomas5 said:I’ve been trying to cut back on sugar lately, but honestly, my cravings for chocolate and pastries are relentless—it feels like an uphill battle I can't win. My go-to move is just buying a massive Hershey’s bar to devour all by myself. And don't even get me started on people dipping into my stash of cookies; it drives me crazy! I haven't actually relapsed yet, but I'm seriously considering it, especially since I'm getting uncomfortably close to that 200-pound mark.
Steven Hall2 said:I know, I spotted them over at CVS, though I haven't quite decided if they're worth picking up yet...