Posts by wearyowl29

rustyfalcon52 said:Sean Hernandez5 I agree we need to dive deeper into this, but... (it feels a bit like a wild goose chase😉)

For instance, how would you define someone who constantly evades the long arm of the law while manipulating anyone they encounter along the way? Does that automatically make them a serial killer?
In my view, no—even if they have committed several murders where the victims simply happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have to admit, I might be missing something here, but I’m struggling to follow your logic. On one hand, you mention that serial killers are such rare outliers that they get so much attention, but then you suggest we don't actually know their true numbers—which implies there could be many more out there. (And if that's the case, they aren't exactly rare anymore, are they?🙄 )

rustymaker5;7211403 said:

I didn't express myself very clearly there. My bad! 😘

It’s finally the weekend, so we all let our guards down a little bit....

But at first glance your opening post could be interpreted quite differently than how you addressed Salvador. I thought I saw some confusion or a mix-up, but maybe I just jumped the gun without thinking it through—so, sorry about that! 🙂

I was really just building on his point and expanding the conversation, not trying to argue or shut him down at all. But hey, let's get back to the main topic...

rustymaker5 said:But you’re wrapping your actual meaning in layers like a snake hiding in the grass! It makes it impossible to tell what you really meant. 😉 Maybe I just missed the mark entirely? 🙄

shadowowl9 said:I’m not offended. It’s just that I have no idea what we’re actually discussing here. Are we talking about concentration camps? The percentage of abused children who end up on a dark path? Or maybe something else entirely—the third, fifth, or sixth thing? Or perhaps we're circling back to your opening thesis and that question about why serial killers are almost exclusively men rather than women. Actually, you know what? Forget it. I’m done with this thread.

shadowowl9;7209796 said:

wearyowl29 said:Talking to you is just pure 👎. I honestly can't tell if you're pushing back, agreeing, ignoring me, or just doing... whatever else that was regarding my point. 😕 You've got a real communication hurdle here, and frankly, I'm struggling to keep up with you too!

I'm genuinely stumped as to what in my post could have possibly offended you.😕

rustyfalcon52;7206936 said:

I'm guessing for a serial killer, the whole thing is just one big ritual. They stalk, they plan, they strike... all part of the routine.

That ritual is essentially their personal signature! By reliving those exact steps over and over, they're feeding some deep-seated, twisted psychological need. It’s almost like a compulsion. I’ve read enough true crime to know they often snatch a "souvenir" from the victim, which then turns into a total fetish for them. And sure, the ritual *has* to be repeated—that's why we get a series in the first place. They have to maintain that internal loop of satisfaction to keep going.

I'm right there with you, Nemruth Dag. This isn't some random act of violence. The only thing that might seem accidental is how they pick a victim—they might choose Person X over Person Y based on specific traits, like eye color, but the motive isn't random at all.

There is always a consistent pattern being followed by these monsters, even if there are slight deviations here and there.
It’s actually pretty wild how many copycats out there exist! They view these killers as idols and try their hardest to mimic the exact same patterns.

shadowowl9;7203458 said:

Serial killers are almost always men carrying heavy childhood trauma—mostly kids who were abused or totally abandoned by their parents (and then victimized by others too).

There’s probably a lot of truth to that, but it’s not like every kid who goes through hell automatically turns into a killer. There has to be some kind of mental "click" triggered by those traumas and other circumstances. It’s really a complex cocktail of different factors that causes someone's personality to shift in that direction.

An excess of male hormones during puberty (and later on), combined with a psychological breakdown, leads these types toward heightened aggression and a thirst for revenge. It’s often a mother complex—(and could be a father complex too, though less common)—where they project all that onto women who behave similarly or even just seem to.

Excess hormones?
Well, I suppose that’s one factor that can influence the development of such twisted ideas.
But honestly, you can vent excess hormones through sports or any other activity without it turning into something murderous. Sure, unchanneled aggression screams to be let out, but most people can keep it under wraps without resorting to killing.

It’s precisely because women lack those "aggressive" hormones that they generally don't go on vendettas in these cases—though that doesn't mean they don't hate certain people just as intensely as their male counterparts. Still, there are exceptions among women (which prove the rule), and they eventually become serial killers too.

Women can be just as aggressive as men; we saw plenty of that in the concentration camps during the war. Aggression manifests in so many ways beyond just murder.
Serial killers are usually planners, whereas classic suppressed aggression tends to result in more spontaneous outbursts.
Plus, aggression is used as a method for committing the crime, while planning has to be meticulous. It’s rarely random or impulsive because if it is, you get caught fast! If someone just reacts aggressively and kills right away, they wouldn't stay free for long.
Purely venting aggression doesn't involve planning. That happens in the heat of the moment, like an episode... our news is full of headlines like "Man kills wife and neighbor with an axe after losing his temper."

rustyfalcon52;7186969 said:

Sex workers are often easier targets and more anonymous... anonymous in the sense that if one doesn't show up for work for a week, nobody really goes looking for her.

Exactly! And they’re usually the easiest ones for men to direct their hatred toward—it’s always just women being categorized as either "saints or sinners."

If you weren't around for even a week, they'd probably raise hell and turn the whole city upside down.

True,

With night workers, people most often complain that they didn't even realize she was gone until they found her dead.

Sadly,

Why are women the primary victims???

It's because women are treated as objects, whether someone is seeking revenge, acting out of hate... or pure contempt for what they do. It all stems from things that mirror a man's resentment toward his mother because he had such a weak father... it's that classic patriarchal killer profile.😲

To start with, physical build alone suggests that a man will find it much easier to overpower a woman than vice versa (at least in 90% of cases). It's a raw demonstration of force.

👍

Nicole James said:I suspect this all stems from the fundamentally unnatural way our society approaches sexuality.

rustyfalcon52;7186029 said:

Your question actually sent me down a total rabbit hole online! It turns out women tend to be much more subtle about it—very quiet. You know, there are so many cases where they commit murders in hospitals, places where death is just part of the daily routine.

Are you talking about those "Angels of Mercy"?

What really blew my mind was finding out that most of these female killers targeted people they actually knew.😲 Take Vera Renczi, for example (38 victims, all people she had a connection to). Some studies even categorize female killers into types, like Black Widows, Angels of Death (those who work in hospitals), or Avenging Angels, and so on.

Exactly. Based on that, women usually kill people they have a relationship with, whereas men go after random strangers.
So, does that mean women descend into murder through some specific emotional breakdown, while men just lose control of their primal instincts—only to deal with the emotional fallout later???

It’s also fascinating that money is the most common motive, and poisoning is the go-to method.

When money is the driver, there isn't really that "passion" involved, right? (😕 I suppose!) It’s pure greed. Though, I guess even greed for cash can turn into a passion in a heartbeat!😛
And poisoning? That’s such a clean way to do it—no blood, no mess. Even Agatha Christie knew her stuff there; she worked as a nurse during the first light, so she probably got quite familiar with all those nasty cyanides and other poisons.

Who knows how many female killers are out there? They just do it so subtly that they never get caught.😕

I remember seeing this documentary about a group of women from a small town—it was a true story. Their husbands would just slowly start disappearing, ending up in graveyards, while the women cheerfully cleaned them out just to get their Social Security checks or whatever!

As for the rest of your questions, I need to chew on that for a bit.

Alright then, catch you later!

briskbison27 said:I never even suggested that being a parent shouldn't come before being a friend—that’s just common sense, isn't it? But I will say, based on everything I've seen, that you can only build a truly meaningful, high-quality connection once the PARENT TRANSITIONS INTO A FRIEND. Dealing with the endless stream of rigid, authoritarian parents compared to those who take the opposite approach gives me all the proof I need to see which style actually works! My advice? Be a parent and a guide, sure, but for heaven's sake, don't forget to be a friend to your child. What is the actual point or beauty of parenthood if you aren't actually bonding with them? If your only goal is to act as an instructor, then you're just working a job, nothing more.

briskbison27 said:When a parent finally finds the strength to become a true FRIEND to their child, they unlock every single door to that child's heart and mind

Anonymous said:I’m not entirely sure if this is the right sub for this specific issue, but it felt like the closest match to what I’m going through right now.

So, here’s the situation... I’ve been divorced for a few years now. I have two kids. After the split, I moved us to a different city, and the kids started at a new school there.

My oldest has adjusted beautifully and seems really happy. My youngest, however, is struggling.
I’m guessing they’re acting out because of general frustration, but lately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here is the most recent thing that happened:

I opened my monthly phone bill and nearly had a heart attack. Looking at the statement from $0.67, I saw a massive charge for $0.53 calls to premium-rate numbers—basically those adult entertainment hotlines.

Since I didn't make those calls, and my oldest didn't either, that left my youngest (who is only 10) as the only option.
I sat them down for a serious talk, and they actually confessed!!!
In total shock, I tried to tactfully figure out what kind of conversations they were even having, but...
It was like talking to a brick wall!!!
Of course, the first thing I did was call the service provider to block all those numbers immediately!!!

I have been absolutely eating myself alive over this; it’s actually caused me some physical health issues from the stress!!!

I finally reached the point where I went to my doctor to get a referral for a therapist because I am completely at a loss. Does anyone have any experience with this or any advice to offer???
Please, I’m asking for serious responses only because I am really hurting right now!!
Thank you!!!

Rebecca Cox2 said:Is there actually anything out there capable of forcing you to completely overhaul your worldview? And if the answer is NO, how on earth can you expect anyone else to change?

William Gonzalez3 said:No. I just can't.

Now I’m sitting here feeling absolutely terrible about it.
And honestly? It’s all your fault!

blueranger12 said:It’s not even about guilt for me; it’s more like a sense of duty.😕

Whenever someone asks me for something, my brain goes on autopilot. I just start nodding along—you know the drill? "Sure thing," "Yeah, totally," "Let's make it happen!" It's just what you do! 😁 Then, reality hits me like a ton of bricks and I realize, "Oh boy, I actually can't do that." But honestly? Once I finally say "no," I don't feel a single ounce of guilt. My conscience stays perfectly clear.

Richard Lee9 said:Maybe you should have offered an explanation in the story instead—just laying out your own views and thoughts rather than going on the attack while she was still reeling from the shock. You know, something along the lines of, "Look, I'm not really a fan of that kind of relationship, sorry, but hey, do what you want, it's your call... just don't drag me into it." That way, you’re standing your ground and saying "no" without directly attacking the person who, at that exact moment, meant everything to her.

Richard Lee9 said:Look, I truly believe that providing a clear explanation alongside the answer is just a much more successful way to go about things. It helps the other person actually grasp whether the information is useful or not! It’s all about that context, you know?
It’s all about the delivery, really. If I ask you to swap out a burnt-out lightbulb and you just bark back a blunt "No!", then brace yourself. You’re almost certainly heading straight into a massive blowout—you know the drill. It turns into one of those classic arguments where one person claims they do everything around the house while the other is basically a useless teenager. Total chaos. But, if you pivot and say, "No, because..."—maybe you're running late for a meeting, or you don't have the right tools, or you're just tied up at the moment—everything changes. Suddenly, the tension evaporates. Instead of a fight, you get an "Oh, okay! I'll grab it!" or a "No worries, I'll wait until you're free." It's wild how much a little context can save your sanity!

Kevin White8 said:I can. (It’s not something I was born with; I had to pick it up along the way.)