Posts by wearyowl29

Matthew Thompson6 said:Hey everyone.

I've got these little watery blisters popping up all over my hands. I'm not even sure how else to describe them. There are quite a few of them, and man, they itch!
I’m guessing it might be some kind of fungal thing.

Does anyone know how to get rid of this stuff?

First things first: go see a doctor. And please, stop scratching! If you keep at it, you're going to end up with an infection and permanent scarring.

Maybe you touched something you're allergic to? Usually, if warm water makes the itching feel better, it's a reaction to pollen or grass—but since we aren't exactly in peak allergy season right now... well, just ask God what happened there.???

Anyway, don't go trying to play doctor on yourself... leave it to the pros.

banderas said:Can someone out there give me a real, scientific explanation for why fasting would actually be good for you?

The idea is that it gives your body a chance to reset and flush out toxins, since let's face it—modern food is basically junk.

That’s the theory, anyway...

bluewalker36 said:Wait, why on earth is this in the Health section?🤔

Well, because we’re basically looking for the psychological profile of a serial killer who’d slaughter a Cow just for one tiny steak;

someone with teeth that have been pre-screened by a dentist—totally cavity-free
and zero fillings,

armed with perfectly healthy fingernails

and fueled by all that deep-seated childhood rage from when Mom wouldn't let him ride her bike, Dad wouldn't forgive his Freudian anal stage phase,

and his sister used to tease him about being... well, you know, small down there...

so yeah, that's why it belongs in Health.😎

nimblegull23 said:Oh, absolutely! There’s something primal about chasing down a Cow—just pure, raw, masculine adrenaline. Blood, sweat, and glory, you know? It’s instinctual. 🙂

🤣 🤣

Classic guy logic right there! If you actually managed to catch one, you'd have enough food to feed the whole neighborhood for a month...

nimblegull23 said:Oops, my bad... Nemrut Dragica 😬

I definitely know snails are delicious—oh yeah, I actually cooked them once! 😉
You have to simmer them for ages, though, because they get just as tough as an old Cow. 😁 😁

It honestly feels like the same thing in some ways. I mean, why bother chasing an old Cow around a pasture when you can just pick up a snail?

driftinggull13 said:Good grief,😱 😱 I mean, how on earth can you even compare snails to a bloody, juicy Texas beef brisket or a prime ribeye? It just doesn't hold up!

I have a feeling a Frenchman wouldn't be seeing eye-to-eye with you on this one... you're talking about little garden slugs while they're out there celebrating fine dining... and we all know how much they pride themselves on their cuisine.

nimblegull23 said:There’s nothing sweeter than Nemrut, but you've gotta be ready for some serious grit—plus, snails are just way too slimy.😬

Just a quick side note... I'm a woman!

But honestly? Those snails sound delicious... especially if you toss them in some parsley and garlic!

Nancy Fowler61 said:Let's meet up sometime! I'll bring a Cow along, and then you can show everyone how it's done, okay? 😢

Seriously though, why aren't you guys out there picking snails? They're packed with protein, and they don't run away from you!😁 They are everywhere—you just have to bend over once in a while... honestly, you could make necklaces out of their shells if you wanted to. See? They definitely have more perks than a Cow does!

rustymoose54 said:That poor little Cow would probably have some serious stomach issues after eating all that heavy meat from Atkinson's diet.

Honestly, I’d just put her on that UN diet—I think there's a description of it somewhere online.

The magic soup isn't really an option here, though; she'd end up way too bloated. That's just my take on the little Cow.

She'll be eating less 🙂 meat, but I'm worried she won't want to give up the pork from next door... which means we actually need to get a pig from a stranger! 🙏

Melissa Cruz2
I'm not pretty sure there's even a place called Small town in rural area. I know about the main part of the county, some other spots nearby, and a few more towns, but nothing by that name.😁
So, you definitely aren't from a Small town in rural area!🙂

Ah... poetic license, huh?

Kimberly Gomez28 said:Down the well!

Oh, absolutely. But first... if that Cow is bigger than the clover patch, she’ll need a few days on the Atkinson's diet just to slim down. While she's dieting, you've got to prep the well. If there's any water in there, you should probably borrow two African elephants—Bimb and Bimb—from Smith over at the Zoo to suck up some water during this heatwave. (Since they were shaken up by those garden tools, I figure the little guys will be up for the task!) Before all that, though... you really have to clear out the well. Get rid of all the hams, thighs, sausages, and all that fancy royal meat—anything that passed inspection and hasn't seen a microscope. And don't forget... all the old gear, the rusty bullets, and those vintage military uniforms and badges. Now, the real trick is finding Peter van. He was last seen somewhere near that Small Midwestern city. You'd have to trek through Texas while it's still part of Mexico... because if things split up too quickly, we might end up in a full-blown war! So, get Peter down into the well to check the bottom. If he doesn't find any leftover filling from back in '98 or any traces of Roman coins—which, let's be honest, legally belong to the state—then you can gently lower the Cow Vimenka into the hole using a pole. Just make sure you pull Peter out first! I don't think the Atkinson's diet is enough to help him squeeze past Vimenka in such a tight spot.

Once Peter is out and Vimenka is down there... give Peter a plum to help him recover. Otherwise, you might have to call an ambulance from that Small town in rural area, especially if he starts showing signs of rigor mortis. But while he's recovering, you'll be busy! Once the Cow is in the well, just toss in a defensive bomb
that you picked up for three bucks somewhere in Arizona, and pray it still works according to official regulations. After you hear that massive BOOOMMM, head over to the well—which is now missing its top—and you'll find Vimenka lying there, dead and happy, having completely made your day.

PS: Please return those elephants to the Zoo. We don't want to see cows roaming around the beautiful meadows of the Rural region in a few years with trunks sticking out of them!

Balkanijan Pig said:Pigica doesn't have an opinion, she has a brain—though I suppose you can't expect the same from women.😍

And honestly? Pigica knows perfectly well she could make a killing if she just rebranded herself as Theodozius Ezoterius and cooked up some new "spiritual technique" every few years whenever her old ones lose their spark. 😁

But she isn't looking to build a career in that racket. I’m right there with you on this one; you’ve got to know when to steal! Even a master thief has to be a total pro at their craft. 😁

Wait, hold on... if you don't have an opinion, but you *do* have a brain... then where exactly does the opinion come from???

Pigius Domesikus Trimestos, grandmaster of all knowledge and worship.🙏

Balkanijan Pig said:😍

svinjicapigica isn't out here peddling spiritual techniques or philosophies for a paycheck. Whether you buy it or not is up to you! 😁

Well, svinjicapigica definitely has her own perspective! We can choose to believe her or not... as for the whole "selling" thing? Let's just leave that to the professionals.😉

Balkanijan Pig said:It’s almost hard to believe someone would actually go by the name 😁

Man, you really put Svinjić through the wringer with those numbers... what was that about? 😁

And honestly, why should we even trust a guy like Svinjici Pigica???

Because we love ya! 😘

Kimberly Gomez28 said:What if we just lured the Cow into the ocean and let it sink?

No mess from the slaughterhouse either! Plus, you can just pretend it’s some kind of sea cow if you're eating fish.🙂

Haha, honestly, that sounds brilliant, but how on earth would we pull that off in a Small town in rural area?

We'd have to drag the whole Small town in rural area right to the coast and wedge it somewhere between a Small town in rural area and another Small town in rural area... or maybe just move part of that Small town in rural area over to the Rural region???

Honestly, just grab a knife or even an axe and

just take out that damn Cow.

Otherwise, you can always just pick up some beef goulash from Kraft Heinz.

Kyle Nelson2 said:During those "rebirthing" sessions—you know, where you hyperventilate—it actually causes an "oxygen intoxication." Basically, your hemoglobin shifts its affinity for oxygen to prevent your body from going into shock, which leads to those muscle spasms.
I’ve personally tried this technique two or three times myself, and honestly? It felt way too invasive for me. I actually think it can be pretty dangerous.

That’s the gist of it... but seriously, you really need to do this with a trained therapist. Otherwise, you're just going to inflate yourself up like a giant balloon!🙂

nimblegull23 said:He’d roast a lamb, then follow it up with some fresh fruit.🙂 🙂
And he'd probably take out the Cow in a couple of days, too.🙂

Well, if you actually want to roast a lamb, you have to steal it first... which means you have to deal with the rancher's guard dog. One quick slice to the throat and boom—done. Then the rancher himself spots you, so you have to quietly take him out too. But wait! Then the other ranchers notice the first guy is missing, so you end up taking them out along with their dogs... finally, you slaughter that sweet little lamb and throw it on the grill. After all that, you head over to an apricot orchard, but there’s an old lady guarding the trees... you hit her with a stick, grab some apricots, and feast. Of course, the fruit hits you hard, and you end up sprinting for the bushes because your stomach is doing somersaults.

Picture this: Milka is grazing peacefully in a lush green meadow... you set your sights on Milka, but you don't reach for a polite greeting—you pull out a machete. Milka goes down, you strip the hide, flip the horns onto your head like a Viking, and disappear into the brush. Suddenly, you run right into Stan, who's carrying a relic from World War I. Your sheer speed and skill at hunting Milka leaves him stunned just before he falls like a bruised apricot. You take him out, but Stan had sons, so you have to sweep them away too. Then the whole town rises up against you, but like a true outlaw leader, you scatter them across the countryside. The entire region collapses, much like how things fall apart in Canada, and a full-scale war breaks out.

And after all that chaos, you’re still feeling a little hungry.

All wars start the exact same way, but they end in all sorts of different ways as fate plays its games with us.

Karen Sanchez19 said:Ego: A three-letter word.🙂 🙂 🙂

Now, look, Bears don't really have egos—honestly, most animals don't bother with all that—but our little Honey friend? He definitely has one... and it's a three-letter word!😁

masterblaster said:So, what actually is the ego, anyway? 😕 😁

n ego?