Posts by urbantinker8

Ryan Stewart8 said:The real headache here isn't just the requests themselves, it's the specialists who approve them—the ones who basically just write down whatever the parent dictates instead of actually looking at the kid. I mean, you’re always going to have parents with these super fixed ideas about how things should work, and then you've got others who genuinely worry their child won't be able to keep up, which is totally valid. Both groups have every right to ask for an enrollment delay, but that’s exactly why we have professionals on staff whose entire job is to step in and say, "Yeah, this makes sense," or, "Sorry, but no, this isn't necessary or even possible."
"Having the right to request an enrollment delay for my child" doesn't exactly mean the same thing as "having the right to be granted an enrollment delay."

I think I completely agree with that.
But, I guess that's why they reached out to the NCAA in this specific instance. And honestly, let them.☕
Maybe some people will actually start questioning their own rigid assumptions before they start digging their heels in with the experts.

Andrew Wright2 said:Born Nov 18, 2010, so he’d be 6 and 10 months by the time he hits elementary school.

I told everyone the second he was born that I’d be pushing for an enrollment delay, and that's exactly what happened. Honestly? I started elementary school at 6 and it was a total nightmare for me. I don't want him going through that same struggle. At 7 and 10 months, he’ll actually have a clue what's going on and things will just be easier.

I was just checking the preschool rosters from when they were born, and there are kids up to 7 months older than him still in daycare. We're definitely not the only ones doing this.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound rude, but this all seems so irrational and unprofessional to me that I don't even know what else to say.
Decisions regarding enrollment delays really should be evaluated by professionals on a case-by-case basis, for specific reasons.
It doesn't surprise me at all that they're referring you to the Department of Social Services; I actually hope that becomes standard practice for situations like this.

Robert Rodriguez9 said:But if that happens, you don't even get the delay, right? 🤷 I know a few families from this year who asked for an enrollment delay, but the school specialists didn't see a need for it. In those cases, the parents' input was ignored, and the kids just started elementary school on schedule.

I wouldn't say that's true.
if a parent keeps pushing the whole "they're too playful" or "they aren't mature enough yet" angle, you can pretty much make anything happen, I guess.
you can see that even Lady mentioned she only asked because she had the legal right to, and her acquaintance did the exact same thing, regardless of the fact that both children were developing perfectly fine and showing no signs of struggle at all.🤷

So, when was the little guy actually born?
I suppose if none of the specialists saw any real reason to suggest an enrollment delay, then maybe that's why you're thinking that way.
It isn't exactly the standard procedure, I guess, but hey, apparently things like that do happen sometimes, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Susan James said:They definitely exist.
In our family, the biggest gap we've seen was between the kids who invited us over for their 7th birthday back in January (two little girls, quite petite, maybe around 4 feet tall) and the two who are inviting us now for their 8th.

With only about a 10-month age gap, there's at least a 6-inch difference in height.
I won't even get into 🍿

Of course age isn't everything, because kids develop at such different paces and have totally different levels of stimulation. That said, starting school a little "early" might actually be stimulating for some kids in terms of learning, especially if their social-emotional development is on track and/or if they live in an environment that isn't particularly stimulating.

On the flip side, for kids who are already facing challenges—especially with speech and language development—even delaying things (meaning waiting to start school later) can sometimes feel "detrimental." It affects their intellectual growth, but mostly their social-emotional side. When it comes to practice and learning, I think it's much easier to handle through preschool rather than jumping straight into school (assuming, of course, the parents have the capacity to encourage the child).

So, it's really vital to get a solid diagnosis with a recommendation regarding that extra year of delay.

and...?🤷

Robert Rodriguez9 said:It's not like everyone ends up the same height and weight later on. There are always huge physical differences.

No matter how you slice it, there will always be kids in a class with a significant age gap. If they aren't the youngest, they're the oldest.
In my elementary school class, the kid who was a full year older than most of us was one of the worst students, so age alone doesn't prove anything.

Agreed.

And I don't really get why anyone would focus so much on physical appearance or body types.😕
When you consider everything else involved, that’s probably one of the least important factors by far.

swiftbison92 said:Yeah, born a slacker 😵

Hahaha, yeah, sure, born ready 🤣

And nooo, it's not over. At least I don't think so... we haven't finished the doctor's appointment yet. As for asking a psychiatrist for a delay? I bet they'd grant it, considering they called me before even seeing the kid.
And honestly? I'm gonna fight this until I see he can actually handle himself... if he never figures it out, I'll just cry that I didn't leave him home, though maybe he wouldn't handle 7.5 any better either
I know, I'm overcomplicating things for nothing 🤦 ....

it is truly a rare thing to encounter children who "never find their way," so maybe give him a little credit here.😉
to be honest, I don't really get why you're panicking so much.🤔

Brian Jones8 said:I know this isn't the main topic, but I'm curious—what are you all doing to tackle this?

Regarding the delay... I'd love to hear from parents whose kids are already in school after being held back a year. Did that extra year actually make a difference?

The teachers at our preschool are being pretty harsh; they're convinced he'll be struggling forever. ☕Fine, I hear you. I’ll work with him and stay on top of his lessons, but I'm really hoping one more year of preschool gives him a chance to catch up on his speech and sharpen his focus a little.

I'm not really sure I follow. In what sense, though?

rowdypanther12 said:But what if the situation is different? If my little one had been born just two or three weeks earlier, she would have been the only one in her group heading to elementary school.
That’s why I think we need to be flexible during those few months. You shouldn't hold back a child who was born ten months early unless there are actual issues, but I really don't get why it's such a big deal to delay school for a child born on March 25th for whatever reason.

Well, I think it's fairly obvious I wasn't suggesting that a child born on March 31st absolutely must be pushed into school at all costs, especially if nobody else in their age group is starting that year.🙄
Being flexible within a window of maybe two or three weeks doesn't seem like an issue, provided you look at the whole situation.

But I'm specifically talking about the kids born in December and January (like my boy, the kids from [REDACTED], and Douglas Booth22), though I also know a child born in mid-December whose parents are going to delay their school start just because they feel like it—pardon my French, but purely out of whim.

It’s just more of that same old demagoguery, following the usual playbook.🤣

Never mind.

I suppose I should just mention that there are so many parents who decide to hold off on starting school just so their kid can have a little more unstructured playtime without being "forced" to learn anything, and then, by some strange logic, they won't enroll them in any extracurriculars either because that would feel contradictory.
I mean, you aren't exactly going to go out of your way to pile responsibilities onto a child if you already pushed back their schooling just to avoid those very same obligations.

So, I'm feeling pretty certain that this extra year isn't always being used "productively" when it comes to their developmental or educational growth.

Again, I'm talking about the average kid here, and I really hope nobody tries to single me out or claim I'm ignoring someone with actual neurodivergent needs, which obviously could be a valid reason for delaying enrollment.

Brian Jones8 said:Alright, fine, I get what you mean. There are definitely liars all around us. 😁

I wouldn't pin this "unjustified" anxiety on parents; I'd pin it on society. Why are we teaching English in first grade now? We all know everyone knows it, but it wasn't even part of the curriculum until a few years later. And why is there this massive, forced obsession with getting straight A's? (Don't try to tell me otherwise, because it's happening.) Every time I ask someone how their kid is doing in school, the answer is always, "Oh, they have straight A's!" 🙄 But if I ask, "Do they actually have friends?" or "Do they even enjoy being there?"—it's usually followed by, "Well, as long as they have those A's." 😁 What happened to the C's? Where did they go?
How is it possible for a kid to have homework assigned in the first semester when they're still struggling to learn the alphabet???

And why does my kid need to be shoved into a cookie-cutter mold? It doesn't work for everyone. If my kid is a math whiz but struggles with English or social studies, can they get into a top-tier STEM academy? Of course not.

I realize there are dishonest people out there.
I tend to agree with you that society bears the brunt of the blame.
Starting a second language earlier seems reasonable to me; kids pick it up so naturally, it feels less like work and more like play, and it’s genuinely useful in a way that most other subjects might not be in their daily lives.🙂)
As for the obsession with perfect grades, I'd rather not get into that, since we've already exhausted that topic and it feels a bit off-topic here.
It's not like they're being asked to read > in the first semester; it's not the academic monster people make it out to be through all those urban legends passed around.
And I don't think anyone needs to be forced into a box, which is exactly why we have so many different types of specialized and individualized programs available now.
Maybe we shouldn't make such a huge drama out of schooling. I guess an average kid just needs to get started at the right time without too much overthinking or unnecessary panic.

Brian Jones8 said:How can you actually believe people when they claim the delay is just because they want more playtime? I’m an open book about my own struggles, and honestly, the more I talk, the more I realize that maybe the ones who keep everything bottled up have it easier—they just let out these little, harmless outbursts instead. Besides, nobody really cares about my drama anyway. ☕

They’d be shocked at how mature they act, yet they still fail those standardized tests in school. So, what makes you think their moms aren't going to blast them all over Facebook?

And please, there is absolutely zero practical difference between a kid starting at 7.5 months versus 7.8 months! 🤦

well, I guess... I have people in my inner circle that I've been close with for ages, and I know their kids too, so, since I work in education, I suppose I'm not exactly naive enough to misread the situation.

Harold Cook2 said:Look, my little one is going to be almost that age too, so I don't see what the big deal is.
I finished high school at 17, while some people in my class were 19. Seriously, I have no clue what anyone gained from that extra time.

The focus shouldn't be on how old they are when they finish school.
The real issue here is that some parents, out of pure whim, panic, or just general discomfort—whatever it may be—refuse to let their child start school when, by most standards, they should actually be heading there.
They end up grasping at straws for excuses, even when the child is perfectly fine. Everyone seems to label a six-and-a-half-year-old as "too energetic," "unreliable," "hyperactive," or "immature," but that doesn't mean they need to stay in preschool until they're ten. Some kids who get held back like that end up staying through the end of high school.
Moving a kid away from their peer group—kids they've been playing with for years—just to put them in a younger group because of a delay doesn't seem like a particularly happy solution either.
I realize a lot of parents don't see any problem with this.
And I suppose that’s precisely where the problem lies.😁

Douglas Booth22 said:His birthday is January 31st, which means if he had been born just two months later, he wouldn't even be required to enroll. He’s already made it clear he isn't interested in school, and his performance during testing reflected that. We actually saw a speech therapist yesterday who also recommended delaying his start. He didn't start talking until he was three and has always been slightly behind his peers in certain developmental areas; why force him into the classroom now only to risk him struggling? If we wait a year, he has the chance to catch up and actually excel. To put it plainly, there are multiple layers to our decision to delay—it isn't just about letting him enjoy being a kid a little longer. 😁 If he were performing at the same level as his peers and was actually eager to start school, of course I wouldn't be advocating for a delay.

I hope you aren't under the impression that in cases like this, we should just respect the child's wishes.
For instance, my kid once told me he didn't want to go to elementary school, but wanted to go straight to high school instead.
A few days before that, he said he'd rather join his sister's daycare group than go to first grade.

To be clear, nobody is arguing against delaying enrollment for legitimate, practical reasons.
But these arguments like "they'll progress better in preschool than in school" or "they aren't advanced enough yet" or "they'll definitely be worse off than the others"—well, those feel a bit silly to me, if not something else entirely.

Michelle Nelson4 said:Look, I honestly don't quite follow why you're pushing for a delay. I was chatting with a mom at one of our local preschools—one of those kids who actually got an extra year before starting kindergarten—and she was so lovely about it. She explained that she requested the deferral simply because she wanted her little one to have another full year of pure playtime. And she isn't the outlier here, either. Of course, that doesn't mean every parent requesting more time doesn't have much more pressing or complex reasons behind it.

In my oldest child's group, there are three girls who were held back.
And, if I'm being honest, all three of them were kept back just to give them more time to play.
I know one of them pretty well, and she’s incredibly mature for her age—I'd say she's actually more advanced than most of her peers, let alone the younger kids.
The decision to delay her start was really just a whim, nothing more. She was born in January, so when she finally starts school, she'll be about seven years and eight months old.

Brian Jones8 said:I’ve been scrolling through these last two pages and my blood is starting to boil. Honestly, who am I even supposed to argue with here!?

Do you seriously think there’s some idiot out there who would hold their kid back from school just so they could enjoy an extra-long weekend for another year? Give me a break. 😠

It’s easy for people like you to talk—you know, the ones whose kids don't face any actual hurdles—so the idea of delaying school seems totally alien. But some of us are actually out here doing the work, regularly hitting up speech therapists, child psychologists, or specialists. There are real issues at play: emotional immaturity, health concerns, neurodivergence, speech delays... things aren't always black and white.

I started school when I was six, but those were different times. I distinctly remember having a reading list of ten to fifteen books in first grade alone. Back then, nobody expected us to walk in already knowing every single letter of the alphabet or basic math, and heaven knows no one was "prepping" us in preschool the way they try to do everything nowadays.
You can't even compare the two eras.

Personally, I’d love nothing more than for my kid to start at six and just be ready to go. But he isn't! And let’s get one thing straight: delaying enrollment isn't some impulsive whim; it's a decision made alongside a team of professionals.

oh, absolutely.😉

And, I guess, it was already pretty clearly stated that we aren't talking about kids who have legitimate, objective reasons to delay their enrollment, so I'm not entirely sure why you're getting so worked up about it.

Douglas Booth22 said:True, once you start, there's no turning back; it's a five-day-a-week grind. It lacks the flexibility of daycare. With daycare, we can often bridge Monday or Friday with the weekend if the kid isn't feeling it, making our own schedule without having to justify ourselves to anyone. School is a major commitment, and I honestly don't get parents who are itching to get their kids into the classroom, as if the school is going anywhere.

That’s kind of what I’m getting at here: it’s really about parental convenience.
From what I can recall, your kid is about the same age as mine, which puts them pretty much past that March 31st cutoff
. If just being able to stretch out the weekends is the only reason you're considering holding them back, I suppose you aren't actually doing the child any favors, really.
Nobody is suggesting you should rush into enrollment or be "dying to start," but waiting until a child is nearly eight years old just to facilitate a longer weekend seems, I guess, a bit irresponsible.

rowdypanther12 said:I’m honestly not sure if anyone’s actually listening here. It feels like we're hitting a bureaucratic wall where everything just depends on arbitrary deadlines. Plus, I don't think our little community here really represents the bigger picture; most parents don't actually pull their kids out of school even when they feel they should, just because they're worried about what people might think.
So, yeah, having a 3 to 6-month buffer would be helpful. It would give preschools more time to get involved and allow for some objective input from the people who actually know the child best.

That cutoff date needs to exist, I suppose, but maybe it could be more flexible than it currently is.
Actually, I’ve mostly stopped taking the "forum crowd" too seriously... it’s just a downward spiral at this point.😳
I’m talking about the people in my actual life.
My older one is getting ready for school, and honestly, wherever I look, I’m surrounded by these high-anxiety parents.
Based on what I've seen over the last few years when friends' and relatives' kids were starting school, my experiences have been almost the exact opposite of yours: there was a time when delaying school felt like a "shame," but nowadays, it seems to be becoming quite the trend. It’s because, as Bill Clinton, suggests, parents are trying to "protect" their children from absolutely everything in the world, so they figure an extra year of "just playing" will make a massive difference before the harsh reality of the American school system gets its hands on them and ruins their lives.🙄

The people who have legitimate, objective reasons for holding a child back don't usually spread panic or hysteria; they understand why they made the choice and they just follow the expert recommendations without making a scene.
But those whose kids are supposedly "too immature" or "can't draw well enough" yet—well, they seem to be struggling internally, which is probably why they won't stop fussing and complaining about it constantly.

rowdypanther12 said:No one is saying that a six-year-old isn't capable. But honestly, a full year makes a massive difference in how much a child matures. You’ll find a much higher percentage of seven-year-olds who can handle their responsibilities independently compared to those who are just six.
I really think there should be a sort of transition period—maybe about six months—where kids are observed more closely so we can make decisions based on their individual readiness.
For example, from January through March, we could take a more personalized approach by using more testing and actually listening to what parents and preschool teachers have to say.

I suppose I agree that a personalized approach is necessary, though I can't help but feel that lately, we might actually be overdoing the individualization.
My only real concern is that, perhaps, we aren't listening enough to the preschool teachers and instead seem to be prioritizing parental input way too much.

And sure, a year is a long stretch for development, but I guess for many kids, the structure and responsibilities of school actually help speed up that maturation process, rather than staying stuck in a preschool setting with younger children where things might just stagnate.

Susan James said:

I honestly can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I finally found my rhythm! It feels like everything is just clicking into place lately. I was grabbing a coffee at Starbucks this morning, thinking about how much has changed over the last few months, and I just felt this sudden wave of optimism. It’s those little moments of clarity that really make it all worth it, don't you think? Just feeling steady and ready for whatever comes next. kaže:
We had our checkup and some testing done at the doctor's office today. By the end of the appointment, my wife told me that everything went perfectly and that he did a fantastic job with the whole process. She asked me what I thought about it. I’ve been thinking about whether my little guy is actually ready for school yet, but honestly, he isn't even close to the age limit—he’s only six and a half. I get the feeling that everyone seems to be getting asked this same question lately! 🤷

It looks like some people in this discussion have completely misread the question.
Yeah, she asked us the exact same thing, and honestly, it makes total sense that she would. It’s actually a bit of a shame if she didn't ask—it's such a valid question to have.

That’s a perfectly fair question to ask.
It might be worth asking the parents if their child’s behavior during the session actually matches how they act at home. For instance, you could ask if the kid was more or less focused than usual, or just generally how cooperative they were throughout the process. It really helps to know if what we saw in the testing room is a true reflection of their everyday personality.
It really comes down to how a parent perceives things—and whether they actually see what’s happening at school. I mean, when you're the one looking after your kid every single day, and you know you'll be doing the exact same thing once they start their formal schooling, you develop a certain perspective. You notice the little details that others might miss because you're right there in the thick of it daily.

Just because parents are hit with that question doesn't mean they're going to immediately try to pull their kids out of school. 🤣Honestly, I think that specific bit of dialogue is actually pretty crucial for both the doctor and the parent when it comes to making the right call for the kid. It opens up this vital space for them to talk through what’s actually needed for school—balancing what the parent thinks is best with what the reality on the ground actually looks like.

I'm guessing you said NO just to see what I'd ask next! I’ve been thinking a lot about how much things have changed lately. It feels like we're constantly navigating new updates and shifts, whether it's at work or just in our daily routines. I remember back when I first started my current job, everything felt so much more predictable, but honestly, I think I prefer the pace we're at now—it keeps me on my toes! Does anyone else feel like they're constantly playing catch-up, or is it just me? I'd love to hear how you all are managing the recent changes. It’s such a tough spot to be in when you start noticing those little gaps in your child's development. You see them struggling with something—maybe it's emotional regulation or just basic independence—and you find yourself wondering if they're actually behind. I always think it would be so helpful to have someone, maybe a pediatrician or a trusted teacher, who could step in and give you some perspective. I wish I could just ask an expert, "Hey, is my kid actually lagging, or am I just being overprotective?" It would be amazing to have a professional look at their behavior and tell me, "Actually, most kids this age are right where yours is," or conversely, "Yeah, you're right to feel this way; maybe giving them an extra year to really mature and catch up is the best move." Having that kind of clarity would take so much of the guesswork out of parenting. It’s hard enough trying to figure out what's "normal" without feeling like you're constantly second-guessing your own instincts.

From what I can gather, you said "yes," and she actually agreed with you! She even went as far as giving you some specific exercises to work on fine motor skills. To me, that suggests she’s completely on board with everything else from the exam, except for this one little area that just needs some consistent practice over the next six months.

I haven't quite caught your drift there! What's on your mind? 🤣
Or maybe join the military? 🤔 🙂

Not to go off-topic here, but high school is actually allowed until you're 21. So, it doesn't really matter if a student is 18, 19, 20, or 21—it's all within the rules. 🥳)
Of course, someone starting school a little later might have fewer chances of repeating a grade and staying on track with their classes, but hey, at least they get some extra playtime before the real work begins! 🤷

...because once they hit first grade, the playtime pretty much stops forever.🙄

Good grief, everything is just... something.

I suspect that, more often than not, the underlying motive isn't really about giving kids more "playtime," but rather parental convenience, since I suppose it’s just easier to manage daycare schedules than it is to deal with elementary schoolers.😳
But I doubt anyone would actually admit that; it’s much easier to blame a kid's messy drawings or their tendency to get distracted.
From what I’m seeing in real life, there seems to be this growing sense of genuine panic and hysteria surrounding the start of school. It feels like people are trying every possible way to justify delaying enrollment by a year, even when those kids turned six months ago, or maybe even four or five months ago.
It all seems totally senseless to me. I have this nagging feeling that things won't feel any less overwhelming a year from now, and honestly, it might actually be a kindness to just let them start school alongside their preschool friends and neighborhood kids they've known for years.

nimblelynx7 said:Personally, I don't see the point in forcing a kid into school before they turn seven.

I still remember some colleagues who started school before they even hit seven. They were always struggling—academically, behaviorally, even physically, they were just smaller and behind.
When I started college, I had a classmate who was basically a teenager compared to us because he started way too early. Even the registrar's office staff weren't sure if his enrollment was even valid or if they needed to set up special meetings for his parents. 😁

Nobody is going to be stuck in high school in their twenties unless they fail a grade. And even if they're nineteen and still in school, what's the rush? To get a job at the IRS?

I also started school with a group of kids who all began before they were seven, and I never really noticed any rule or pattern where those students were worse learners, less conscientious, or more irresponsible. As for physical build... well, that's a whole other factor in the equation, I guess.🙄
I started before I turned seven myself, and I was consistently one of the top two or three students in my class, through elementary, high school, and even during my time at university.🙂
You just can't predict what a person will turn out to be.🕺

And since this trend of delaying enrollment seems to be picking up steam, it probably isn't unrealistic to expect that high school graduates will soon be knocking on the door of their twenties.
Is it actually common in those European countries we constantly hold up as having perfect education systems to delay starting school? I don't think so.