Jeremy Bailey61 said:My parents are actually great, they just aren't exactly progressive. We don't really have an adult relationship; they still treat me like I'm five years old. The problem is, I live in a tiny rural town and I have zero clue where to find a clinic or anything like that. I'll definitely make the move once I've moved out on my own, especially since I want to head off to college. Trying to survive university with this weight on my shoulders would be nearly impossible, let alone trying to fit in. Honestly, talking to someone who’s been through the exact same thing has already made me feel lighter. It's weird, but it works. Regarding the psychiatrist—did you actually go to therapy sessions, or did they just hand you a prescription?
I'm still hitting up therapy once a month, mostly just to check in and see if there's any actual progress being made.
Jeremy Bailey61 said:My symptoms hit a little differently, but it’s essentially the same beast. Those intrusive thoughts used to be way more intense, though looking back, it feels like they've calmed down. Instead, the physical compulsions have ramped up over time without me even realizing it. I feel like the last four years of my life have just vanished into thin air; I completely shut myself off from the world and it just kept getting worse. For example, whenever I read the paper, I can't help but twist the corner of the page. I do it constantly—while listening to music, while working, whatever. I basically need a newspaper nearby just so I can fiddle with the edges. And yeah, sometimes I blink so much that I stay inside because I'm mortified. Some people on another forum suggested I go see a psychiatrist, but my biggest headache is figuring out how to tell my parents. Seriously, we've lived together for 18 years and now, after all this time, I have to break the news? It’s awkward as hell that I didn't tell them sooner, but I've reached a breaking point. I have to get moving, even if it feels like starting from zero.
Look, I totally get it. Telling people is brutal. It took me until I was 24 to finally open up to my family. And honestly? Most people who haven't dealt with this stuff don't think it's some huge, terrifying deal, which can be frustrating. You can actually go to a doctor without even telling your folks if you want to, though it’s usually better to be open. Just a heads-up: be careful who you vent to. Since they don't "get" it, they might make jokes at your expense, and while they think they're being funny, it's actually killing you inside. From my own experience, I really recommend seeing a psychiatrist. It makes life so much more livable. I used to think I’d never have a normal life because of the depression and the compulsions, but look at me now...😍Be Brave and hang in there; things will get better. And hey, if you end up needing antidepressants, don't sweat it. They aren't scary. It just takes a minute for them to kick in. It can be a bit of a struggle at first because I had to cycle through a few different types before I found the one that actually worked for me.
Jeremy Bailey61 said:What kind of compulsions are we talking about? Look, even while I'm typing this, I'm feeling this intense, nagging urge to write one single line slightly crookedly—I physically cannot stop myself from doing it. It feels terrible. For a long time, I genuinely thought I was losing my grip. I was deep in depression (still am, just in a milder phase), and there was a point where I even considered ending it all... thankfully, my faith helped pull me through. Now that I realize it’s "just" an illness, I've got some hope again, but man, dealing with this is still an uphill battle. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
Oh, and one more thing: do not kill yourself over this. Seriously. This stuff is treatable.
Jeremy Bailey61 said:What kind of compulsions are we talking about? Look, even while I'm typing this, I'm feeling this intense, nagging urge to write one single line slightly crookedly—I physically cannot stop myself from doing it. It feels terrible. For a long time, I genuinely thought I was losing my grip. I was deep in depression (still am, just in a milder phase), and there was a point where I even considered ending it all... thankfully, my faith helped pull me through. Now that I realize it’s "just" an illness, I've got some hope again, but man, dealing with this is still an uphill battle. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
I'm 26... Honestly, back when I was in school, I spent the whole way there praying because I was terrified that something bad would happen to my family if I didn't perform certain rituals. I always had to get up from my chair and move to the right side because I didn't want to mess up my "luck." I had to tap on wood every single time a negative thought crossed my mind (like, thank God I have that little ritual to fall back on...). At one point, I was blinking so much that I refused to leave the house because I couldn't control it and felt so embarrassed about it... plus a million other things. Even now that the physical stuff has calmed down, these dark, intrusive thoughts still hit me. It started with seeing car accidents on the road and then my brain would just spiral into thoughts like, "what if you just died right here in front of everyone?" That's what dragged me straight into depression. By the time I finally worked up the nerve to start therapy, man, it was a total nightmare. But, I will say this—I've been on Lexapro for about a year and a half now, and it has made my life so much better. The physical compulsions are gone, even if those stray thoughts pop up occasionally. I know it’s a brutal thing to carry, but believe me, it is treatable. Try to ignore them, try not to give them any power, and one day you'll just wake up and realize you aren't doing it anymore.
Jeremy Bailey61 said:So, looks like I’ve actually got this disorder.... constant stuttering, sniffing, facial grimacing, eye blinking, and a whole bunch of other nonsense... and I only just figured out that this is what it's called. Since I haven't scrolled through the whole thread yet, can someone tell me if this stuff is actually treatable? What should my next move be? I haven't seen a doctor about it yet. I'm 18 and trying to get into college, but honestly, I have no clue if I'll even be able to finish my degree if I'm stuck like this. It’s a massive distraction when I'm trying to study.
Mine started out just like that—eye twitching, tapping on wood, cracking my knuckles—honestly, I don't even remember all of them anymore. Is it curable? Absolutely. You just have to find a way to decompress. Personally, I think the best bet is sitting down with a psychiatrist. Most of this stuff can be tackled without even touching medication. If you’ve bothered to read some of the previous pages, you’d see we’ve dealt with much worse things here. For example, I used to deal with all those compulsive physical habits, which eventually spiraled into these horrific intrusive thoughts where you genuinely feel like you're losing your mind. But thank God, with help from my doctor and some antidepressants, everything finally settled down...
wearycobra36 said:It looks like things have been quiet on this end for quite some time. I’m actually hoping that’s for the best—that you're all feeling significantly better and simply don't find yourselves needing to vent here anymore. As for my own situation, the medication has been doing its job, and I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. While those compulsive urges haven't vanished entirely, they've certainly dialed back enough to be manageable, but the real victory is that the crushing weight of depression has finally lifted. Sending my best to everyone out there!!
Hey, I just pop in every once in a while, but man, it's a ghost town in here... I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better. Honestly, same here—fingers crossed it stays this way.
Jason Clark4 said:It’s probably better if I don't list everything I've dealt with. Regarding that "before they happen" part: intrusive thoughts rarely actually manifest. At least, that’s what I’ve managed to prove over the last decade.😁
If you give those thoughts any weight at all—no matter how twisted or dark they seem—they tend to show up more often. For me, it was this paralyzing fear that I’d hurt my parents. It was three months of pure agony and anxiety until talking it through with a psychologist helped dial it down to a manageable level. That worked for those specific thoughts... at least for that time.
I’ve been fighting these same thoughts for about five years now. It follows the same script every single time: first comes the panic, then the desperate attempt to control or suppress the thought, then the crushing shame, and so on and so forth. I never told anyone about it because I genuinely thought I was losing my mind. It was terrifying. My biggest fear—which is totally standard for this—was that I would actually hurt someone, especially my baby. I’ve been seeing my psychiatrist for a year and a half now and I've been on medication for about a year. Honestly? I feel much better. The depression is gone. The thoughts still pop up occasionally, usually when I’m stressed or feeling really on edge... I used to think I was the only person on the planet dealing with this until I stumbled upon this forum and realized there are plenty of us. My thoughts were so repulsive that I couldn't bring myself to say them out loud to anyone; I'd only describe them to people who already knew what I was going through, and even then, I'd "package" them to make them sound less extreme. Honestly, the best advice I got on this forum was to just ignore them, and damn, it actually works. It was brutal at first, but thank God, it’s getting much easier. It really helps to talk to people, even virtually, who actually get it...
I kept my mouth shut for the longest time because, honestly, I was just too embarrassed to face it. But once I finally sucked it up and spoke my truth, everything kind of clicked—I could actually make peace with what happened. Now, I can talk about it openly without blinking. I know some people look at me sideways, wondering how I can be so chill about it, but it’s simple: I forgave, I moved on, and I’m living my life.
Megan White4 said:At that stage, we're looking at actual sexual abuse, given that the individual was already entering puberty.
The only real path forward would be psychiatric help to work through the trauma. As for legal action—lawsuits and such—given how much time has passed, I suspect it would just be a massive waste of energy.
I’ve actually been seeing a therapist, and honestly, it’s helped me a ton. As for suing him? No way. I don't have the strength or the guts to look that guy in the eye today—especially since I run into him all the time—and demand an explanation for what he did to me 20 years ago. It's like how minors get different treatment than adults in the justice system; I really don't think a lawsuit would go anywhere. Personally, I’ve moved toward forgiveness. It might have been harder if it were someone twenty years older than me who fully understood the weight of their actions, but back then? He was basically just a kid who had watched way too many adult movies...😢
I remember every single bit of it—the screaming, the crying—while his sister, who’s actually my age, just sat there forced to listen to the whole thing. She couldn't even think about calling for help because she was terrified of what he might do to her if he found out, or God forbid, what kind of things he might have been doing to her behind closed doors...
brightpanther21 said:Honestly guys, maybe do a little more reading before dropping statements like that. Even toddlers around two years old start self-stimulating—basically exploring their own sexuality—though they don't have any concept of what "sexuality" even means. To them, it’s just play. That’s actually how it should be; kids need that space to play and learn about themselves. And look, this doesn't just happen within families. It happens with playmates and friends too, but since American parents tend to hang out most with their extended family, it often looks like it's happening among relatives.
There is a massive difference between kids being curious and showing each other body parts, versus someone actually forcing a child into something. Those are two completely different worlds.
I had this guy, someone just a few years older than me, lock me in a room and force his hands where they didn't belong. I can still vividly remember screaming my head off and begging him to just let me go. If you’re sitting there thinking that doesn't count as abuse, then you're dead wrong. I’m still dealing with the fallout from that even today. I was just a little kid in preschool when he did this to me... and look, I don't care if he tried to frame it as "just kids playing" or whatever excuse people use—I DID NOT consent to it, and for God's sake, I was just a child. I suppressed the whole thing for years, and it didn't even resurface until I was ten. Maybe to him it felt like some harmless childhood game, but it definitely wasn't for me, because it left scars that haven't healed. Honestly, if someone did that to my own kid now, I wouldn't hesitate to do whatever it takes to protect them.
Matthew Rodriguez9 said:I honestly feel bad for guys like granitefalcon26... man, he’s got so many deep-seated complexes eating him alive from the inside out, it’s actually wild... looking down on a woman just because she chooses to be a stay-at-home mom is straight-up toxic...
In every single thread, he’s acting like the smartest guy in the room... some big-shot intellectual with a PhD...🤣
Just imagine being stuck at a dinner party with someone like that, having to sit through him bragging about his Ivy League degree and how brilliant he is... he treats everyone like they're beneath him, claiming he only hangs out with "high-level professionals" because anyone else isn't worth his time for a conversation...
Honestly, this guy is a textbook case for a therapist...😂
Good for his mom, though—she really raised a genius over there... absolutely bursting with all that brainpower...🤣
Honestly, I’m just as glad as you are that they finally banned him.....😁 Look, once you fall into that deep pit of depression, everything feels hopeless. You start thinking things will never get better, and it’s easy to believe that lie. I know firsthand because I've been fighting my own battle with anxiety and depression for a while now. Maybe it would actually help if you went to talk to a psychiatrist? Seriously, there’s zero shame in it. I’ve been seeing mine for years, and it completely turned my life around—it was a total game-changer, trust me. These are just crises we go through; everyone hits these walls at some point. Hang in there.🙂
granitefalcon26 said:Honestly, quitting your job just to have kids seems pretty reckless to me. You lose all your independence and end up completely dependent on your husband. It’s just not smart. At the end of the day, women aren't just machines built for childbearing.
Look, sorry, but you clearly don't know the half of why I actually walked away from my job. Where I was working, my boss was constantly harassing me on a daily basis... imagine having a manager tell you something like, "Man, you have no idea how much I want you... I was showering last night just thinking about you." What am I supposed to do? Stick around and listen to some creepy predator who could be my father? You never know the full story, so don't be so incredibly rude. And yeah, maybe right now I'm leaning on my husband, but that doesn't make me an idiot or mean I'm never going back to work. Honestly, I'm looking at this time off as a chance to decompress and recharge my batteries. So, please, stop judging me and calling my choices "stupid." You don't have that right because you don't know me.
Nicole Barrett76 said:I cannot say for certain why you have been prescribed those, but I once spent time taking Tegretol despite not being an epileptic. My diagnosis involved adjustment disorders and depressive syndrome. Thank God both have since been resolved.
In addition to the Tegretol, I was also using Ambien and Xanax.
I was truly drowning in those pills. Today, thank God, it has been a very, very long time since I have taken a single sedative. (knock on wood)
So, my diagnosis is anxiety—specifically those intrusive, dark thoughts... man, I really hope I can stop taking these soon too...
granitefalcon26 said:The first things you did to snap out of it were quitting your job and having a kid? Seriously?? That sounds totally reckless.😂🤣 Where on earth did you come from? You're clearly lost. It's the 21st century, for crying out loud.😂
Look, if you think getting married and having children is some kind of massive mistake, then I honestly don't know who's talking nonsense here. But listen, I’m not interested in trading insults. You have zero reason to be disrespectful toward me, so please, let's keep this civil. I’m not looking for a fight, and I’m certainly not going to waste my breath trying to justify my life choices to you. If you want to sit there and claim that having kids is stupid, or that making a choice that actually makes me happy is some kind of blunder, fine—that’s your opinion. Go ahead and believe it.
cosmicmaker6 said:Olivia Rivera77, I am truly relieved to hear that everything worked out for you in the end... I have navigated similar waters myself, though unfortunately, that was merely one disappointing chapter in a much longer series of setbacks. It can be incredibly difficult to break free from that downward spiral, but if there is one thing I have learned, it is that you ultimately have to be your own advocate... because, quite frankly, no one else is going to step in and do the heavy lifting for you.
Facts. You really can only rely on yourself... hope you managed to get everything sorted out on your end too. Sending love.😍
I used to be exactly where you are right now... It’s like I just didn't have the energy to care about helping anyone, including myself. I was lazy about everything, and my go-to excuse was always, "Oh, don't blame me, it's just my zodiac sign." Yeah, sure, whatever you say—I was a Pisces through and through, both sun and rising, so I really leaned into that nonsense. Then the depression hit, and it wasn't just a phase; it was a total shutdown. I couldn't function in social settings at all. I felt like a complete loser in every aspect of my life. I honestly convinced myself that I was a lost cause. I had zero accomplishments to my name, no hobbies, no goals—absolutely nothing. I was stuck in this soul-crushing job that I absolutely loathed, but I stayed because I was too terrified to take a risk or even make a move. But then one day, I just reached my limit with playing the victim. I realized people were starting to write me off as an idiot because I’d completely withdrawn from my friends; we had nothing to talk about anymore, and I was just drifting. Once I finally scraped together enough courage to change, I took action. First, I saw a psychiatrist. Then, I quit that awful job. Around that same time, I decided I wanted to start a family, and when I had my baby girl, my entire world shifted. She became my foundation. She gave me the strength to actually fight for a life worth living, rather than just existing. If I can give you any advice, it's this: find that one thing that makes you feel alive and just go for it. The hardest part is simply breaking the inertia. Once you get moving, everything else starts falling into place. You've got this.
ps. Honestly, I'd grab a coffee with you in a heartbeat if I could. 🙂 🙂