Posts by Angela Rogers2

Sandra Parker3 said:No, my point was actually about that whole "intuitive" and "instinctive" thing.

Then it’s not just cattle 🙄
But fine, I think I get what you were getting at now............

Hold on a second... cattle, superhumans...?
What's the middle ground? Just curious about your terminology here 😉

Heh, so you haven't read anything at all? 😁
It’s kind of a gray area, honestly. It all depends on where they're headed, I guess.😁 😁 😁

@neznam Enchi, if I ever actually fell out of love with my husband, I honestly don't think I'd ever find it in me to fall for another guy again. 🤷

Chloe Barnes8 said:🤣 🤣 🤣

Yeah... he actually claims it's just in his DNA...

😍
Bad genes, if you ask me. Let some promiscuous Neanderthal just fade out of the gene pool.😉 😁

Sandra Parker3 said:Are you actually talking about people here, or just some transitional stage of animal evolution?😕

I’m obviously talking about cattle😉—though I guess that's how most guys today operate. They just wrap their behavior in some pathetic little rationalization to make themselves feel better. It's always something like:
- I was just drunk
- I'm just a jerk
- Women are untrustworthy, so it's just a matter of opportunity
- I'm not looking for anything serious
and so on... 😁

Not really... I mean, genetically speaking, we're pretty much cut from the same cloth since we belong to the same species. Under certain conditions, our behavior is bound to follow similar patterns. Kids are probably the best way to measure this; physically, they can often look quite androgynous. You know how it goes—you look at a baby and go, "Oh my god, so cute!" and then the mother gives you this dark look and tells you it's actually a boy 😁
. On the other hand, our sexual development is driven by sexual instinct, which, let's face it, still dictates a huge chunk of our lives. Of course, plenty of people in their later years end up sublimating that drive into something asexual, yet productive. But men and women are definitely different because they're guided by different biological impulses.
For instance, promiscuity is less common among women, partly because she's socially conditioned toward family life, but also because she’s biologically wired to care for offspring. So, she intuitively—and logically—seeks out the best possible partner to raise children with
. Men, meanwhile, instinctively seek out more partners because, from an evolutionary standpoint, fertilizing more females increases the chances of his genes surviving. That same logic explains the protective instinct toward offspring, providing for a family, and that general animosity toward other males
. In my opinion, the real kicker—the whole mess, really—is that as humans, we’ve held onto so much pure animalistic, instinctive behavior, even though we’ve tried to "humanize" it by acknowledging these differences. Civilization developed relatively quickly, from an evolutionary perspective, specifically to weed out or adapt these behaviors, concluding that they aren't necessary since, well, we're supposed to be civilized people
.

I read that a long time ago, which is why I’m calling it garbage. It’s because people started using the exact kind of mindless, hypocritical, small-minded behavior described in those pages as some sort of justification for acting that way.
Even if it’s logically, realistically, and practically damaging to me, I guess it doesn't matter.
Whatever. At the end of the day, you can't teach old dogs new tricks. 😉 😁

Sandra Parker3 said:😛 you ...........
If that's how you see it, then fine, but I don't—I just think a little change is enough.
I'm actually really happy with it... (this guy should probably be talking to me like I'm some kind of princess...)
You're totally missing the subtle stuff. You just make these blunt comments, just like you did with that friend of yours 😁

And even if this change is exactly what it looks like, it still says something 😉

@ Enchi, just because you don't bring up spirituality or religion when you're out with friends doesn't mean it isn't part of who you are—it's just expressed through other things there.
It just means... don't take everything here literally... try using a little creativity when decoding the "signals" we're "sending" 🙂

you can see that for yourself😁 when you mentioned changing your avatar, I honestly thought 🙂color would go all out—like, the thickness of the brushstrokes Van Gogh used back in the day, or maybe subtle watercolor shifts.
just kidding, your avatar is an absolute ten, a delicate little flower and all that.🙂
I am subtle, perhaps too much so.😲 who wouldn't agree, right?😁

@Chloe Barnes8, sweetie. Please don't read that populist, cookie-cutter junk like those books *Man from Mars, Woman from Venus*—when in reality, we all basically fell from Jupiter and just happened to land on this planet.
Actually, we are all from the country, and we share so much with every living thing on this planet. For instance, most plants need sunlight to grow properly, and similarly, we need sunlight at a certain optimal warmth to function productively. We share way more traits with animals because, well, we are just an animal species that evolved enough brainpower to rise above the others, and here we are, a whole group sitting in front of computers.
As for men and women, I guess you could call all of that a byproduct of human evolution over time.
Like, the idea that women are more emotional—well, the reason is offspring. It's pretty simple; chemically speaking, you could call it oxytocin. Again, it's a mix of inherited instincts and social conditioning. It's all so intertwined that you can't just look at it from one angle and conclude, "this is why."
Men being more rational is just the same evolutionary thing.
I don't really know why it necessarily has to be about opposites and extremes. It could actually complement things quite nicely if you don't view it through a negative lens—not as "heaven vs. earth," but as something that can complete and even better build a relationship.
To be honest, my husband is incredibly sensitive and emotional, and my teasing often gets him so worked up that even I'm surprised.😉 😁
Who would have guessed? And if you actually saw what he looks like physically, he's like a rock. But even then—he isn't.
I wanted to write something else, but I've lost my train of thought in all these letters.
I'll be back later😁:

Sandra Parker3 said:🤣
I gotta ask, do you actually have a sense of humor, or are you just performing for this crowd? 😉........
By the way, I've only dyed my hair once, so you clearly aren't paying close attention. 🙂

Actually, I was going to say you did your makeup, but you clearly didn't 😛

@Enchi, as for me, it's meh. People don't really want to hear about psychology anymore 😁. A few times now, a friend of mine got pissed at me because, right in the middle of a conversation, I told him his whole argument was just pure negation and there was no point in explaining it further since he wouldn't listen anyway... so he got annoyed and threatened to burn all those stupid books I read. Then he crossed his arms, and I just told him, "Look how defensive you're being—that means I'm right." So then he basically told me to get lost. Doesn't matter what I say, I say it, and that's that. Honestly, having knowledge in this field has made it much easier for me to wrap my head around people—why they act the way they do and why herd mentality always seems to put the crowd on a lower mental level than an individual thinking for themselves. 🙂

Christian Wells6 said:It isn't quite that straightforward. 🙂

Ten, the moment you started bringing up gestures, body language, and all that... you really dove straight into physical appearance. When I talk about looks, I don't mean whether someone is overweight or thin or anything of that nature. I was referring specifically to their mannerisms. I find it hard to believe there are many people out there imagining anything else entirely.

The reality is that one can certainly pull a thread from all of this that is worth considering. And that thread is that everything is actually the exact opposite. In that regard, Taylor Swift is absolutely correct. You end up questioning yourself.

Enchi, I can tell. I can sense it simply by the way they write, even if they happen to be lying. I highly doubt anyone would go through the trouble of writing long, dramatic laments about things they don't truly feel. For instance, nobody who is being ignored would suddenly find themselves banned...

Yeah, true, but I was quoting mistyharbor15. Just imagine following someone online like that, maybe for five years straight, and then you finally meet them for coffee in person and they have Touretov syndrome 😁 I think I'd actually die laughing 😁😁😁
Enchi hit the nail on the head. For example, in my circle of friends, we rarely ever bring up religion, yet religion is basically the second most important thing in my life that I check in on regularly. Hehe.

As for avatars and stuff, hmm... well, as far as I know😂 Sandra Parker3 dyed her hair again. Did something big happen? I don't know, maybe not😁

I'm curious why almost everyone with a science background uses a cat for their avatar? Have you guys noticed that?

Sandra Parker3 said:I guess we're all studying those psychological vibes, right? 🙂
Personally, I can't separate the physical from the mental. Whether you want to or not, you build a mental image of what someone looks like.
Go ahead and try to study just one side; it’s just as fascinating.

But honestly, there's more of yourself to analyze here. 🙄
How did you even land on that specific mental image of them?
Because it changes. At least, that's how it works for me.
All it takes is changing a profile picture, and suddenly I've created a totally different persona for that user.
Of course, through the way people write, a physical image starts to emerge too.
It doesn't matter if they say something concrete... or just throw out a random comment... or whatever...
Then I start making comparisons.
And so on... it's kind of a fun little game for me.

I really do spend my time... scrolling through people...

😁

then you've got a serious problem on your hands with me😁
To be totally blunt, no, I don't imagine what any of you look like at all. I don't even think about it.🤷

A caricature—interesting, though I’m a big believer in meeting people in person regardless of their physical appearance. Whether they have black, blonde, or brown hair, whether they’re tall, short, thin, heavy, or how they dress... it doesn't matter. It's more about body language. You communicate so much without saying a word, and that's where the internet fails. Given the whole development of the psyche and communication tools, you make much better selections face-to-face rather than monitor-to-monitor. I could write anything to you right now, and depending on how susceptible you are, you might just take it as gospel. And that could be a total lie. Of course, those kinds of manipulations have always been part of daily life; they weren't invented by the internet, but they're much easier—and honestly, better—to spot when you're looking someone in the eye.
Talking about quality in this context is like looking for a wheat stalk in a field of weeds.😁

@Taylor, I’m not talking strictly about the internet as a way for people to connect. This specific version—forums, chat rooms—is definitely one of the most interactive ways to go about it. But I guess the fundamental purpose of the internet is just moving information along. Then again, that really depends on what kind of information we're talking about, etc., etc. You could even argue that things like dating profiles or looking for soulmates fall under that umbrella😁, just another form of information.
You know how there are whole sections dedicated to people trying to recover from internet addiction? Well, those kinds of thoughts... 😉
And honestly, what physical traits am I supposed to expect behind a screen name? Personally, I'm more interested in studying psychological 😉 😁

Chloe Barnes8 said:It honestly caught me off guard reading about people online, and even just meeting folks lately, how many "parallel" relationships seem to be going on at once...

Like, seriously... you see people browsing sites looking for their "soulmate," but they’ve already got someone else tucked away in the background. And don't even get me started on the whole side-story thing happening with married people...

Has the Internet just turned into this giant digital window shop for hookups where everyone is just scanning the shelves?
I can't help but feel like there's this massive devaluation of all types of connections now... it's like you're just surfing through people like they're random webpages...🙄 ☕

You find what you're looking for, I guess.
Some of these sites aren't even really designed for people to connect.
And honestly, believing every single username you see—especially when it comes to the whole "soulmate" or "you are THE One" thing—is probably bordering on a total lack of common sense.

I mean, sure. But in my world, 😉 I can't really find any kind of mutual balance if there isn't trust involved—and honestly, I struggle to trust people as it is—and you just don't get trust without loyalty.
I just don't get these relationships where you go out, hook up with someone else, and then just crawl back into bed with your husband or boyfriend, whatever... and he asks what’s wrong, you tell him you just had a thing with some guy, and he's just like, "Alright, five bucks," and you both just go to sleep. And it's all fine, nobody even gets mad.

Christian Wells6 said:To begin with, why on earth would they even want "help" in the first place? Has anyone actually requested it????????????

One rather significant point to consider is that these individuals aren't truly single; many of those on Match.com or Smokvica are, if we are being perfectly honest, very much married. What they are actually seeking is just some good old-fashioned fuck.

Now, a casual hookup is a perfectly natural human state, a fact I am certain any psychologist would confirm. Essentially, the internet has simply provided an easy exit strategy from the monotony and boredom of marriage.

A far more pressing question, which falls squarely within the domain of psychologists, is how they perceive the link between the lingering patriarchal structures still governing these social spheres and the newfound freedom afforded by anonymous online hookups.

The statistics suggest—or at least, that is the prevailing narrative—that these users typically belong to the middle class, possess college degrees, and earn decent salaries. They aren't looking for a partner under any circumstances; in fact, they are often looking for LIFE itself. They are in their prime, enjoying stable marriages and lovely children.

I’m actually reading this book right now about how monogamy is basically just a moral myth and that humans aren't naturally wired to be monogamous.
Though, personally, I don't think I could ever handle polygamy. The whole idea feels pretty gross to me—like, the thought of sharing my husband with someone else, or him sharing me with some random guy, is just... no.

Sure, America really went all out when it came to social limitations. You can amass wealth if you want to, but sometimes I catch myself wondering what I'm even doing here in Chicago.😁 😁 😁
Of course a psychologist can help, but only if they meet one specific prerequisite—being actually good at their job. 🙂
They might be able to point you in the right direction with some advice on how to tweak your behavior toward the opposite sex to get a better outcome.
But, in my opinion, what a psychologist just can't do is fundamentally change your character or your temperament. So, honestly, I'm not quite sure where the breakdown is happening when it comes to why someone can't manage to form a connection.

She’s got blue hair, so I guess she’s already an outcast here.

😍

third stroke of luck
😁

Yeah, I heard they’re cracking down hard lately. Everything is moving way faster through the courts now—no more playing around. I guess it’s finally election season. 🙄

Sandra Parker3 said:Huh... honestly, that's a pretty fair point.🙂

(psssst... maybe pick a more feminine avatar next time)

It’s sustainable if you don't judge people too much 😁 actions usually tell the real story anyway 🙂

What's wrong with SpongeBob? I guess I'm just stuck in a childhood phase 😁

Gary James88 said:Maybe he heard some old myth about how scratching or fidgeting exposes a liar, so he’s trying to play it cool.

You can pick up on certain things through body language—some stuff you just sense instinctively without any effort. But if you actually want to read people properly, you’d need training similar to what CIA agents go through. It’s a lot more complex than just rubbing your chin, covering your mouth, or pointing your feet toward someone you like.

Those little tricks you find in body language books? They’re really only good for selling more books.

In the moment they're lying, they might realize the other person is watching for those cues, so they shrink back. Most people don't even notice.
People get better at lying as they age—there's no arguing that. But if you watch a kid lie, for instance, they'll unconsciously cover their mouth before or during the lie.
Those kinds of unconscious movements are still there; they've just become more sophisticated over time.

Sandra Parker3 said:... or your beard

But if I spend all my time staring at what they're doing instead of actually listening to what they're saying, maybe it's better 😉

I just don't really like the idea of someone sitting there judging me like that.

It’s all about the nuances.
Everyone judges people differently, I suppose. But when you do it this way, you’re basically leaving a massive window open for manipulation. That’s why, for example, passive-aggression just doesn't work on me. I catch onto it immediately. I can't stand those types of people, especially once they start trying to explain themselves.🙄
You don't manipulate or screw over the people you actually respect. There has to be some kind of principle involved.