Posts by Robert Reyes4

restlesshound48 said:And even if I did open up, I don't think he could actually do anything about it.

There was a stretch a while back where insomnia was killing me. I was leaning on sleeping pills—which isn't like me at all, they were a total exception—but in the end, it felt like nothing. Like staring at daylight. No effect. It's all in the head, this messed up head of mine.

I'm done trying to convince myself. I'm fully aware things aren't getting better, I just don't have the strength to move.
Maybe two years ago, if I'd had some support from the people closest to me, things might have actually turned around. But since then? I've just been sinking.

Try finding one hobby—something solo, where you don't have to deal with other people—that actually brings you a little joy.
Can you think of anything?
Also, try some physical activity. Maybe just attempt to jog a couple of miles every day?

Here’s my take: when we decide how to spend our energy, we shouldn't just chase things where the end result is the only thing that matters. We should pick paths where the process itself actually feels worth it. That way, if we don't hit the target—which happens more often than we'd like to admit—the time we spent won't feel like a total waste.
If we're constantly living for some distant future goal, we end up devaluing the present and missing out on life entirely. Time is pretty much all we've got.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Right, lavender—thanks for reminding me. I think it was this specific test:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/aura-guide

I just tried to work through it: none of the colors really pop for me. The highest score was for crystal, then crimson, followed by the least amount of red, yellow, and sacrificial ochre.

I read that book a long time ago too, though I mostly just treated it as a way to kill time.

hollowpuma762 said:I honestly don't see the point in these endless, vague tug-of-war debates. Especially when dealing with topics involving Philosophy and Spirituality, where most people aren't even interested in discovering anything new or grasping deep concepts. Instead, they just want to vent their own little impressions. They can't stay focused on the actual principles or the logic we've been discussing for ages. Every single time someone offers an input that doesn't align perfectly with their worldview, or asks for a deeper dive, they pivot immediately to "Me vs. You." It just turns into a circular, ego-driven shouting match about who's more enlightened or right.

There’s an ignore button for a reason. No need to waste your precious energy on stuff that clearly doesn't resonate with you.

Anyone sitting around just waiting to be convinced by outsiders about what the truth is—without any desire to build their own intellectual toolkit or develop their own way of seeing things—they'll be waiting a long time before they actually see reality for what it is. Honestly? Those are the exact kind of people who are just begging to be manipulated.

Does "groups" here mean people?
Because they probably haven't earned that kind of label.

hollowpuma762 said:That’s just person no 2 right there—someone who lets themselves fantasize about what someone else might be thinking, makes a judgment based on that fantasy, and then drags themselves into an argument over a conclusion they pulled out of thin air.

Reality is a different beast entirely.

What’s actually real doesn't care about anyone's "monopoly on truth" or any of those little personal or ideological delusions. Perception is tied directly to character which dictates how much info you can actually take in and process. One essential part of that character is the level of consciousness we're talking about here.

People with fundamental flaws in their character? Yeah, they're going to struggle to grasp specific virtues. It’s because those virtues feel foreign to them. It’s really that simple.

You’ve basically taken some spiritual teaching—heaven knows which one—and treated it like absolute truth. Just remember that's your own choice. None of this is provable, and the rest of us are free to believe something else entirely.
And yet, you’re presenting your claims as if they’re universal axioms, without even trying to make a convincing argument.

Joseph Bailey41 said:Honestly, what you’re doing across all these threads just looks like a series of temper tantrums. Every time someone disagrees with one of your imaginary friends, you feel the need to label them as ignorant, shallow, or just plain small-minded—all because they don't buy into your little fantasy world. If you want to talk about being low-class, that’s where you should look. ☕

Work on your character a little.

They honestly think they own the truth. And they talk down to everyone like they're doing us a favor.

Jamie Adams6 said:Seeing people living in extreme poverty—that's honestly one of the hardest things I can witness.

I still remember this one time back in high school—maybe freshman or sophomore year—when a buddy and I were hanging out at some local pizza joint. We were being total idiots, just loud and obnoxious teenagers, blowing through our allowance like we were loaded, acting like tomorrow wasn't even a thing. And right there next to us was this kid, looking absolutely ragged, and you could tell he hadn't had a decent meal in ages. His mom was sitting right there beside him, just watching him eat, and she looked just as worn down as he did. My first thought was that she literally only had enough cash left for his food, which is why she didn't order anything for herself. It hit me so hard in that moment—honestly, it gutted me. I actually thought about paying for their meal and maybe convincing the waiter to pretend they were "thousandth customers" so they'd get a freebie, since they'd probably be too proud to let us just hand them money directly. I don't know why we didn't do anything, though; we just kept being stupid kids.

Then there was this other situation that really messed with my head, not that long ago, right around the start of Biden's term. I was out for an evening run and saw two adults and two kids scavenging through dumpsters. I guess they were too embarrassed to do it during the day, so they waited until it got dark so nobody would see them. To have to watch parents feeding off trash—and kids eating that same trash—at that hour... I don't even know. I actually had to have a few drinks before bed just to stop thinking about it. It's soul-crushing.

One time, a friend and I were eating at a restaurant in a small town and noticed a guy trying to grab leftovers off other people's plates.
We called the server over, ordered a meal for him, and told them not to mention it was from us.

I just want enough to stop feeling like I’m working purely to keep my head above water. I want that sense of freedom—the kind where you aren't constantly stuck in survival mode. Honestly, it feels pretty degrading to tie happiness to material milestones, or any goal that makes joy feel like something I have to earn later. It shouldn't be about achievement; it should just be about existing right here, right now.

Carl Rivera43 said:That doesn't make up for such an incredibly cold approach

Is she just being distant, or is she actually looking for a fight?

Carl Rivera43 said:It looks like Kamencica {negative} is clearly intimidated by all that good energy. Honestly? It’s just karma catching up. She’ll get what’s coming to her eventually, somewhere down the line.

And honestly, who knows what she's dealing with? Maybe she's just bad at communicating, maybe she's paranoid, or maybe she's just wrapped up in her own drama.

feralranger said:"Quote"

I’ll just keep my mouth shut for once, rather than... I find myself wondering.If you cannot provide a substantive answer to that question, then I fear your entire argument is nothing more than mere empty rhetoric, is it not? I am referring, of course, to the classic scenario involving a child—take, for instance, the offspring of a professional psychologist—who simply refuses to heed any counsel, advice, or repetitive instruction. You asserted that your philosophy does not equate to "letting them do whatever they want," but unless you can specify exactly how you intend to enforce those boundaries when verbal persuasion and constant repetition have utterly failed, your position remains a hollow platitude. It is remarkably easy to peddle empty abstractions, don't you agree?

How am I supposed to give a concrete answer without more info? If the kid isn't a sociopath, there's bound to be some way to handle it. It's also possible the mother isn't being objective about her own child.
I'd probably suggest the kid talk to a third party.
If one method isn't working, you try something else.

But, I did ask if you think physical punishment would help in that scenario.

feralranger said:But how exactly does one go about preventing the very things they refuse to permit when a child simply disregards every word, every piece of advice, and every repetition? (And let's be honest, children like that certainly exist—just look at the son of that one high-profile psychiatrist out of Chicago.)

Do please be specific... (vague excuses won't help here; anyone can claim they are exhausted, a fact that is painfully obvious to both you and me...)

Look, I don't know the specifics of what's going on. But do you really think hitting the kid would solve anything? Personally, I doubt it.
We need to figure out why he's acting this way first. Then we can actually find a solution.

Henry Sullivan10 said:well, when you're being a total jerk 😛

Stan? Translation, please!

And you still haven't answered if you have kids.

Henry Sullivan10 said:Man, you CLEARLY don't have kids. I mean, I'm starting to wonder if you've even seen a child in person before.

I covered this at the start of the thread. No, I don't have my own, but I've babysat my sister's kid. Eight hours a day, every single day, for months at a time.
So, what's your take?

Do you actually think it's normal for a kid to just start wrecking an entire apartment?
Obviously, I'm not talking about toddlers.

Henry Sullivan10 said:So, what, I should just politely ask him to stop? While being super respectful of his feelings, obviously?

First, you just step in and stop it. You can actually do that because you're the adult.
But if things have already reached the point where a kid is tearing the house apart... you really need to take a long, hard look at why that happened.

Daniel Kelly57 said:Look, I just didn't buy her teaching style. I didn't think she had what it takes to actually be an educator, so I told her straight up that I'd never stoop to her level. From then on, I spent most of high school sitting in the corner of the classroom after class ended.🍿

Seriously? In detention during high school? The only time I dealt with that was back in middle school.
What subject did she teach? Now I'm actually curious.

feralranger said:I am somewhat uncertain; if we look at her specific case—and indeed the perspective offered by those psychologists—one might argue the exact opposite is true. Regardless, the takeaway here seems to be that there is simply no such thing as a universal 'blueprint' for success.

Just because someone's a psychologist doesn't mean they have all the answers. Sometimes a gut feeling is more accurate than anything you can read in a textbook. At the end of the day, the emotional connection is what matters most.
How are you supposed to truly know what those kids are feeling? Or predict when certain traumas might actually surface? I'm not claiming it's a crisis if a kid gets a spanking once in a blue moon.
But generally speaking, it's not worth overthinking.

Daniel Kelly57 said:Honestly, being punished never actually worked for me. I still remember how my teacher used to make me sit in the corner of the classroom just to sulk. It didn't do anything helpful. 🍿

Yeah, that method is pretty mindless. So, what did you actually do?

Henry Sullivan10 said:Exactly. A kid throws a tiny tantrum and starts smashing their room, and you're just supposed to sit there and say, "hey, respect my decision"?

none, but this is total nonsense. Respecting someone doesn't mean letting them walk all over you.

feralranger said:

Robert Reyes4 As expressed by feralranger:
It is simply because they neglected them from the very beginning. Once you fail to lay down a solid foundation right out of the gate, trying to patch things up later becomes an uphill battle that most people aren't prepared for.
I am inclined to believe that the most vital element is...
A proper diet should serve as a catalyst for developing self-discipline and a newfound respect for others; however, one simply cannot achieve such lofty virtues through the blunt instrument of punishment.

It isn't always that simple, nor does there exist some sort of universal "magic formula" for these situations. I recall a kid who attended school with my son; he was quite frankly the most relentless bully in his entire grade. The kicker? His mother was a professional psychologist specializing specifically in child development! She raised him strictly "by the book," following every psychological principle to the letter, yet somehow, her little boy still turned out to be a nightmare for everyone else.

On the other hand, one of my close friends—my maid of honor from years ago—certainly believed in the old-school method of discipline, relying heavily on a firm hand to keep her three children in line. And yet, looking at them now, they turned out to be the absolute picture of propriety; we're talking top-tier manners, elite private schooling, Ivy League degrees, the whole nine yards. They’ve never once stepped an inch out of line or caused a moment of scandal.

We raised our children without ever resorting to corporal punishment, yet it is becoming increasingly apparent that her offspring are navigating life with far greater ease and success than ours ever did.

One shouldn't fall into the trap of assuming that your particular experience serves as some sort of universal blueprint or a definitive "how-to" guide for everyone else. There are countless examples out there that prove otherwise.

Good parenting isn't just about staying out of trouble, and it doesn't necessarily guarantee success later on.
There are plenty of examples out there, sure, but generally speaking, I think punishment is a losing game.