Posts by Jerry Bailey47

silentnomad8 said:I don't get why you won't eat salad even at home. Just wash it better than usual and move on.

Nothing is bothering me right now. I'm feeling pretty chill. 😎

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Look, I eat at home—it's just that I'm rarely actually *home*. At best, I'm walking through the door at 6:00 PM, but usually, my afternoons are booked solid.

And I'm with driftingcanyon16 on this one. I mean, can you even wash bacteria away with just water?

Look, everyone is an expert. I don't have any homegrown stuff—I live in the city and buy everything at the farmer's market—so tracking the exact origin isn't really an option for me. And honestly, when you're dining out, there's zero way to know if that salad was actually washed properly. Besides, I’m too terrified of being overly cautious—though maybe I am—since we've had a Listeria scare in my family during a pregnancy, plus a positive toxoplasmosis test from raw meat... and that wasn't even from a cat, just someone eating restaurant carpaccio. I'd rather just eat buttered pasta for the rest of my pregnancy than risk it.

driftingcanyon16 said:Wait, so you're telling me you don't eat any raw veggies at all? 🤔

Oh, I eat them—I just stay away from leafy greens like lettuce or cabbage. Tomatoes and cucumbers are fine. But I’m talking about those days when I have to grab lunch on the go since I work until 5:00 PM—there’s nothing decent to pick up at a Corpus Christi grocery store besides pizza and pasta. Usually, I manage to find some healthy options at
one of those raw food spots, but I can't right now. That's my point.

The whole "eat a diverse diet" advice is honestly driving me nuts. How am I supposed to vary things when half of it is strictly off-limits? I’m working—and planning to keep at it for a while since the pay gap is too huge to ignore—and luckily, the job isn't physically draining. Between managing one kid and having a husband who works on cargo ships, I’m essentially flying solo most of the time. I don't have the luxury of spending hours meal prepping or cooking elaborate dishes. For two months now, my breakfast has been the exact same thing: a ham and cheese sandwich. I can't touch deli meats or cured meats because they're raw, salads are out due to Listeria concerns, pâtés are a no-go, pastries are way too greasy, and donuts or croissants are just pure sugar bombs. Even yogurt and fruit leave me starving almost immediately. 🙂 I usually grab lunch at my mom's place and keep dinner light—sometimes skipping it entirely since I’m not much of a dinner person—but by midnight, I’ve already put on 4+ pounds. Honestly, I’m not even worried about the weight; I gained 60 pounds during my last pregnancy and dropped it all in less than a year. Still, the lack of options is annoying. "Diverse diet," my ass.

http://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m520/HellBlonde/Curvygirlrockingamaxiskirtmaxiskirtanddenimjacketm iamifashionbloggermiamifashion.jpg
http://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m520/HellBlonde/Mono-Stripe-Maxi-Skirt-from-City-Chic-for-curvy-women1.jpg



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cosmicnomad6 said:I know it's all just guessing, but at least now you have an idea of my build, so maybe you can give me some advice on these dresses! 😁
I’m about 5'2" and roughly 155 lbs. I have a defined waist and a large bust—which is actually why I'm most worried about that first dress. I'm not too concerned about my lower half, haha! My legs are on the shorter side, but my arms aren't thick or anything. I was also thinking about wearing a bolero over the top. 😁

Thanks, everyone! Please keep the suggestions coming if anyone else has an opinion. 🙂

I wouldn't call myself curvy, but I do have a larger bust, and let me tell you straight up: that first little dress is a questionable choice. I actually own one with a similar cut, and it’s a disaster because the chest area pulls the fabric so much that the waistline ends up sitting way too high—it looks totally off. Plus, when you're bustier, those specific necklines can be tricky; you'd probably be better off with a wrap style or a V-neck. 😉

Edit: By the way, Mila Kunis and Scarlett Johansson are stunning, obviously, but even they couldn't pull off this specific length given their height. Maybe try a pencil dress instead—something more structured than these wide ones. 🙂

nimbleheron47 said:They’re pretty pricey, sure—but when you finally find that perfect H/J cup, you’re just lucky you can even order it somewhere. The selection isn't exactly massive, either. At least in this thread, we all get what it's like. 😉

And they throw in some extra nonsense too. Honestly, I wouldn't blink at spending $30 or so on that. It's not like I ever found anything significantly cheaper back when I used to have things custom-made...

Trust me, I've paid my fair share for bras over the years. 🤷

Look, you shouldn't tell someone with a size 11 foot that there's a huge selection of cute, affordable shoes in a size 8 at the local mall. Someone with an 11 is going to pay whatever it takes just because they actually found a shoe that fits their foot. That's just how it works.

The person wearing a size 8 will shop around to get the best deal. But the person wearing an 11? They'll buy whatever they can actually find.

I have a friend who's a size 11/12. She pays way more for shoes than I do. I mean, damn, she doesn't have a choice. If I told her those prices were too high, would that somehow help her squeeze her feet into a standard size 9? Probably not. 🤷

Anyway, I won't get too deep into it anymore. This has been a great thread—I've already gathered a bunch of links and tips on where to look and what to watch out for. You guys are awesome. 😍 😍 😍

I'll let everyone know how the quality is from Figleaves and if it's basically like armor 🤣 that keeps everything held firmly in place (which is the goal, since I look much smaller in stuff like that). I'm waiting until after my vacation to order, just so the package doesn't show up while I'm out of town.

Even though I’m not particularly curvy or big-footed, I second everything you said. My struggle is always with swimsuits—I’m a Small on the bottom, but a 34D or even a DD on top. Finding a bikini is a nightmare (though bras aren't quite as bad). Even now, with the trend of buying tops and bottoms separately, it’s still tough to find something that actually provides 🙂 support without looking totally cheap. So, like you, I don't really look at the price tag, and I certainly can't be picky about color or pattern—I just grab whatever fits and looks decent. 😳

Adora carries some lovely pieces—they aren't cheap, mind you, but the quality is there—and they stock up to a G cup. I’m currently pregnant, and back when I was nursing, I managed to find an 80F there without any trouble. They used to have a storefront in New York, but that closed down. 😢 Plus, Marks & Spencer has a great selection too; I've seen them go up to a G. They usually arrive around $100. 🙂

I’ve put on a massive amount of weight during this pregnancy—maybe 20 pounds, maybe more since I refuse to touch a scale 😬—but everyone keeps insisting I look lovely. Honestly, I felt fine until I crossed that 15-pound mark and started dealing with all this swelling; now, looking in the mirror is a struggle. 🙄 Yet, I ran into a woman today whom I haven't seen since my first trimester, and she told me straight up that I look beautiful—basically just the same person, just with a bump. 🥳 Even though I know that's a total stretch, I can't exactly call her out for being too kind. 😁

Michael King2 said:Haha, oh man, you just reminded me of something:
I definitely wasn't someone who had much to brag about regarding my 🙂 before I got pregnant. But now, they are actually 😲 (well, by my standards, if you know what I mean 😁)... and it seems like they haven't stopped growing because they're feeling sensitive again 😁

Once they grew, I started getting comments from this one friend of mine asking if I finally had some curves (?!) I mean, okay? Honestly, I never really had any insecurities about it... if I don't care, then I don't really get why anyone else would have an issue 🤷

Girls were always jealous of me because I had that perfect, firm D-cup frame at 5'6" and maybe 115 lbs. 😛 No matter how much weight I lost, they stayed exactly the same. Now, they've grown significantly—obviously, things won't go back to exactly how they were—but that’s just life. 🤷 It's honestly hilarious seeing some people acting all excited about it. 😁 If they get truly nasty, I just tell them not to bother—because I'm planning on getting some reconstructive work done after I'm done nursing anyway. 😈

Michael King2 said:🙂
My mother-in-law: "Where on earth are you fat?" And then comes the endless stream of comments about how much I've expanded and all that... ☕

The thing is, I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but I am honestly losing my mind with everyone commenting on my weight—especially since I've never really had anything to spare to begin with, and now it feels like I'm getting hit from every single angle because I've "rounded out" so much! 🙂
But I am pregnant... I should probably just focus on staying healthy and watching my silhouette...

I know this feeling all too well. I've always been quite thin, and since I have a large 🙂 that actually looks pretty good on me, those neighborhood busybodies were just waiting for me to get pregnant so they could attack me for "expanding." But honestly—despite gaining 45 pounds—there isn't even much to comment on; my arms, legs, and face look exactly the same as before, and you can't even tell from my back that I'm pregnant (my hips and backside haven't changed one bit). 🙂 In your face! ☕

I absolutely loathe it too... even when my mother-in-law or my own mom brings it up. It’s only when my husband mentions it that I actually lose my cool. Honestly—luckily enough—neither my mom nor my mother-in-law are particularly pushy about this; they've only ever nudged him a handful of times, and never without asking first.

Steven Watson19 said:boldbison32, you really cracked me up!! It wasn’t until I actually became pregnant that I realized just how rude and selfish some older people can be... honestly, there’s no way I’m giving up my seat for someone who wouldn't even think to stand up for a mother with a kid or a pregnant woman—especially when you just saw them sprinting after a city bus or a subway train a minute earlier. I told myself right then: there is zero chance I'm ever getting up for an old person again. I’ve had my fair share of encounters where they didn't bother to move, though it hasn't been all the time. Anyway, I’m currently 38 weeks and 2 days along, and my belly is so huge it feels like I’ve already gone past my due date—so people start offering seats when you're barely even showing! Lately, I haven't been heading out much on my own, so I haven't been using public transit as much, but people have been helpful—some have even stepped aside just to let me get through the door 😁
I don't usually get irritated by things during this pregnancy... I guess my hormones just work differently? I mostly just laugh—well, I *do* laugh—everything feels great and funny to me. Sometimes I’ll get hit by this sudden burst of silliness late at night and start acting like a total goofball at home, and my husband just dies laughing... thank goodness he’s always there to be my resident clown 😁
But there is this one lady at the farmers market who used to get under my skin... her daughter just gave birth recently, and I saw the girl when she was about nine months pregnant. She had a belly about the size I had back in my fourth month 🙂 for the most part. She didn't gain any weight at all during the pregnancy, so every time that lady sees me at the market, she stares at me like I'm some kind of freak because of how big my stomach is. Like, what does she want from me? I'm right on the verge of giving birth... it's not my fault her daughter didn't carry much! Her daughter delivered a little one weighing only about 5 pounds at full term, whereas my little guy was already that size back at 33 weeks 😁 a chip off the old block, just like his dad 😍

It drives me crazy too—being compared to someone else based on whether we gained 20 pounds or 40. I’ve put on 45 (okay, maybe I could have avoided a few of those), but the doctors are estimating the baby at nearly 9 pounds if I make it to my due date, so yeah, the stomach is massive. Plus, with the swelling I'm dealing with, I couldn't stay under a certain weight even if I tried! 🙄

boldbison32 said:Let me share my own recent experience on the bus with you. I hopped onto a half-empty bus and found a seat, but after a few minutes, it started filling up mostly with older folks. This one elderly gentleman sitting across from me looks at me and goes, "Ma'am, we ought to give up our seats to those older than ourselves." (I'm almost seven months pregnant, and there was this same lady on the bus earlier lecturing everyone about seating priority for pregnant women, seniors, and all that...). So, I told him, "Pregnant women, just like seniors, have every right to a seat on the bus," and he actually looked me in the eye and said, "It's not my fault I'm old, but it is your own fault that you're pregnant." I was just speechless...😲😲😲

😂 Unbelievable! I am definitely stealing this story for my Facebook status today. 🤣🤣🤣

Goodness, northernseal6 you’ve completely lost the plot—you're in the wrong thread...🙄 This is a pregnancy forum, not a seminar on the sociopolitical status of women in America.

I honestly can't tell—I maybe feel ten kicks in a ten-minute window, though my little one is constantly squirming. 🤷 During my last checkup, they hooked me up to a fetal monitor and handed me a clicker to tap whenever I felt a movement. And there I am, thinking: *Oh boy, he’s sleeping now* (since he’s way calmer in the morning and much more active at night), but of course, the appointment was at 9:00 AM. Long story short, I racked up 25 clicks in just ten minutes. 👍

northernseal6 said:Man, it’s honestly no surprise that women end up with less space in certain industries compared to men.
There's just nothing we can do about it.

Look—my husband spent the last five years hunkered down in trenches in Iraq and Afghanistan, working as a sniper just so we could live comfortably. Could I have done that instead of him? Could you? Well, I couldn't—which is exactly why I respect him. Even when he drives me crazy by acting like vacuuming isn't his responsibility—and sure, every household dynamic is different, I'll give you that—we should respect those differences. And, not to go completely off-topic, it’s incredibly irritating when people judge everything based solely on their own narrow experiences. I don't know what you two are up to, but where I work—in a field that's equally male and female—everyone gets paid the same.🤷

Michael King2 said:There are all sorts of mothers and all sorts of fathers out there, and honestly, nobody is trying to diminish the role of a father or a husband, but I still think there’s a fundamental difference between us... I know my husband would move mountains for our family, and nothing is ever too much trouble for him. I truly believe he’ll excel in certain areas more than I will. And in other areas, I'll step up where he can't, and that's perfectly fine.
I didn't quite catch what you meant by "lying around" being a way of forcing an issue🤷 I was really just making a comparison, because let's be real—you don't truly understand until you experience it firsthand. They just can't experience pregnancy or those initial fears the same way we do. He might feel the baby kick against his hand, but I feel that baby in every single moment of my existence... and I'm the one who has to go through the labor. No matter how much he tries to understand, no description could ever actually convey the reality of it to him.
It doesn't make him any less of a parent than I am, and it certainly doesn't lessen his love for our baby, but it does create a distinction between our experiences.

I'm with her on this.

northernseal6 said:I hate a mess, but being a woman doesn't mean cleaning is in my DNA.
It isn't about luck to have a dad or husband who wants to or knows how to do chores. It's about luck to have a partner like that. Why should women be expected to know how to do everything perfectly while men don't? A man who can't vacuum as well as I can is just a lazy bum. Period. Including mine. Vacuuming isn't rocket science.

Changing a tire isn't exactly high-level engineering either—he handles that better than I ever could. ☕ It's not laziness, really; it's just that I couldn't care less about learning the skill when there's always someone else around to deal with it. 😉

That's your take, but others see it differently—everyone organizes their lives however they see fit. There's no point in arguing over it. 🤷

northernseal6 said:I don't get the whole thing about the two women. Is tidying up somehow hardwired into female DNA while men are exempt?😕

The way people say "wittle baby," "sweetie pie," or "little munchkin" drives me absolutely crazy. I just say "child," but apparently that isn't "motherly" enough.
Also, hearing the word "mommy" used in every single context—at the doctor, at daycare, even on this forum—really bugs me.
It blows my mind how everyone acts shocked when I say I want my child to take my last name. I honestly don't see any reason why a kid should automatically carry the father's name instead of mine.
It really irritates me when women call their moms to come over and clean or cook after they give birth, yet they rarely mention their husbands, boyfriends, or dads helping out. Sure, not everyone can cook, but anyone can wash dishes, vacuum, or run to the grocery store. Everything else is just an excuse.
And it totally gets under my skin when people claim women are more naturally bonded to kids, or that we want them more, or that we're better at changing and bathing them. From where I'm standing, the only difference between me and a guy is that he can't give birth or breastfeed.
P.S. Obviously, I'm excited about my baby and I love them!🙂
Alright, go ahead and tear me apart.

Unlike my husband—who apparently doesn't care if there’s a layer of dust on the floor—I actually have standards. It bothers me. Why? Who knows—it's probably just in my DNA. 🤷

northernseal6 said:Look, I don't mind if someone's mom helps out, I just don't get why the dads never show up to help. Unless they're stuck in a wheelchair, I guess? 😉

Because—let's be honest—not all of us were lucky enough to land husbands or fathers who actually give a damn about helping out around the house. They know. To get things done. My husband, for instance— He wants it. I have to tell him to mop the floor, vacuum, or load the dishwasher—not because he actually cares about the dust or the dirty plates, mind you—but... Not exactly how it was supposed to be done—clearly. I don't have much to say on this—not that anyone asked. He certainly knows his way around—and he’s got the skills to back it up, too.Yeah, same here—honestly. Not up to par. I’d honestly rather have my mother—or even my mother-in-law—staying with us than deal with his way of doing things. He can handle the basics—changing the baby's diaper, keeping an eye on them while I hit the Peloton, running to Target, washing the car, or handling the bills at Chase—but the cleaning? Forget it. You really can't teach an old dog new tricks, believe me. ☕

Morgan Kim2 said:Look, I love a clean house, but I’m definitely not one of those people who lives to scrub floors. We set things up right when we moved in—I told everyone straight up: no dust collectors, no knick-knacks, no figurines. If it just sits there gathering grime, it’s going straight to the attic... My absolute favorite thing in the whole house? My cordless vacuum. Fifi actually gave it a nickname because I’m constantly roaming around with it... it only takes a few minutes. I tidy up every single day, but I don't spend more than an hour on it—honestly, I’d probably spend that much time anyway once my little one gets home...

Exactly. If you put in thirty to sixty minutes of maintenance every single day, your place shouldn't look like a disaster zone. A friend of mine has a one-year-old and also babysits another infant—all squeezed into a tiny 500-square-foot apartment with her mother. Every time I visit, whether it's 10 AM or 6 PM, the floors are a sticky mess—juice, crumbs, God knows what else. Look, I get that you're managing two kids, but there is no excuse for the floor to be that filthy by evening after one child has left, especially with two adults present... it's laziness, plain and simple. 🤷 And then she has the nerve to tell me, "You'll see." Well, I guess we'll see. ☕