darkcanyon10 said:Yeah... quality text. You could spend all day reading literature like this... Well explained. Pure truth. My late old man was exactly like that. Fits the description perfectly.
But... I'm pretty sure info isn't enough. Or even helpful. Reading isn't enough. Knowing isn't enough. You have to live what you read. It's jebenica when you know if it's going to rain every single day. jebenica! But... I'm out here getting soaked because: ____________________________....... jebenica! It’s easy to get tangled up and just take the path of least resistance. And that's a trap. You gotta go through the pain. Real pain. Go through the stuff you'd normally run from. Dammit. There's no other way. No easy route. Nothing's easy. Running from problems and pain just breeds mental illness. Most of us just try to "escape" our issues instead of actually dealing with them.
Yeah... there comes a time when you just have zero willpower. You have to push through it. Ideally sober and clean. If you use booze or drugs as a crutch during those times... you're just piling more suffering and self-loathing on top of yourself. There's no shortcut for anyone.
This whole concept of ease versus struggle is... complicated. For instance, who actually gives you the strength to force yourself to suffer while remaining at peace?
I don't know if my perspective on things is fundamentally flawed, but it doesn't seem to me that in certain states or situations, a person truly has a choice. Your biology takes over—it follows its own pattern, and that's just that. Trying to stop it is quite literally a war against yourself, and it's physically grueling. The issue isn't the suffering itself—not the endurance or the ache—the real problem is that the organism is hardwired to repeat its patterns, to seek distraction, to chase immediate gratification. You can realize this a thousand times over, but where does the actual power come from to actually govern those impulses?
This is one of those things that leaves me genuinely baffled... I just don't see how it works. It remains an enigma—where does a human being find the sheer willpower to move against their own internal gravity?
mistyseal11 said:I’d join a gym, honestly, but I just can't see myself spending an entire day stuck in one of those places. (It might actually work as a way to round out my routine though) it feels more like just venting some steam... and doing it in such a totally unnatural, isolated way... in an environment that just doesn't feel right... but whatever, we had a snowstorm hit, so at least today I had something to do with a shovel. No grand purpose or anything. Just pure energy release.
and then just rotting on the couch... man, no... that's not good... coffee, cigarettes, booze... and way too much time spent overthinking all this unemployment crap...
I need a schedule. Simple as that. Ta-da, ta-da, ta-da, ta-da. Check, check... (pause)... ta-da, ta-da, ta-da... Up, up, up... let's go... get to work...
If I had the chance to get away from the pavement and head out into the greenery or some hilly area... like... what would we even do there? No computer, no internet, no power... nothing...
How would we spend the day? (Not even a Starbucks nearby either) [basically, what would a daily schedule look like]
The body doesn't grasp nuance; it simply registers physical exertion and triggers the corresponding biochemistry—hormones, enzymes, neurotransmitters, and so on... accordingly...
and then, quite suddenly, you feel different—simply because your physiological state has shifted...
because the organism isn't a "person," yet a person is merely an organism...
I don't want to project, but I highly doubt you’re thinking any differently—that you aren't feeling this pervasive sense of futility that prevents any real movement or direction in any meaningful sense. I’m much the same way myself... perhaps you'd just end up with more regrets over failing to fulfill whatever sliver of purpose you have left
Regarding that, though, I suspect the causal link works in reverse; this state of being doesn't prevent you from having a goal, rather, the absence of a goal is what generates this specific state of existence
Suppose you were thrust into circumstances where you were forced to endure eight to ten hours of physical labor every single day—just a hypothetical, of course—your body would find ways to kickstart itself internally, and your state of mind would shift spontaneously. It wouldn't necessarily be an improvement, but this current stagnation would feel like some sort of fever dream because, quite simply, reality would be something else entirely
Now, anyone could suggest that you just simulate that through training, or hitting the gym, or hiking, or whatever... then there's the reading, the hobbies, the endless list of distractions... but you've likely already thought of all that, and yet, here we are, still at a standstill
The whole mess lies in this: if you cannot spark movement from within, your only remaining option is to have someone—or something—dictate your actions. That brings us to "discipline," a concept that many find bizarrely difficult to grasp—how a person can literally require external coercion just to function. For most people, emotions and primal impulses are what drive them; they just wrap those impulses in rationalized stories, systems, and goals to give them a sense of motivation, when in reality, it's just another form of internal compulsion
Essentially, a goal is only effective if it creates that internal emotional pressure... because the entire system that needs to be engaged and driven forward is fundamentally irrational and quite frankly, stupid—rational, intellectual constructs mean absolutely nothing to it
Try this: actually lie there on that couch and do absolutely nothing. Not even think, let alone act. Just exist and breathe. See how long you can sustain that state—how long you can force yourself to remain idle. Very quickly, restlessness will set in, followed by boredom, then a flood of various emotions, perhaps an impulse to drink or smoke, or even unconscious fidgeting... then you'll realize just how massive that internal force truly is—the very force you're supposed to manage and direct solely through consciousness—but it never works that way
I don't know, we're just talking... it's not as if I'm actually trying to offer you advice
Even if you actually managed to stumble upon a "regime"—if such a thing exists—the real question is whether you’d have the sheer willpower to overhaul your daily habits and actually stick to them... What you’re describing is the macro state of things—and even if there were some inherent potential or capacity buried in there, it would have to be tied to a specific objective, something that causes the organism to move toward it spontaneously But that capacity just isn't there. That's why you can't move toward a goal, rather than the other way around... You aren't a child anymore; you can dream up fifteen different goals a day, along with various systems and routines, but it won't matter... it's all futile
On the flip side, you need a system—you need some kind of structure—just to generate any capacity at all. It’s exactly like trying to crank those old engines back to life in a cold garage; without that initial spark, the whole system remains stagnant because it simply hasn't been primed
You’d be better off asking why someone would even bother with something like this... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061613/
I mean, if you actually have an interest in mythology, you should probably stick to reading the books rather than wasting your time on Hollywood movies...
It’s what we call "butthurt," really—and the sheer volume of it seems directly proportional to how much someone actually enjoys wallowing in the endless stream of nonsense clogging up the internet... where everyone feels entitled to spout whatever garbage comes to mind. It only intensifies when you start tying your entire identity to your role in these pathetic little digital skirmishes.
The whole concept of a "lone wolf" is complete nonsense when people use it like this By definition, lone wolves are just broken individuals that the pack kicked out—usually the younger ones, the weak ones, or the sick ones who fled just to avoid being slaughtered. Or maybe they're just old dogs who can't hold their own in the hierarchy anymore. A lone wolf is mostly just hungry... and if they aren't at death's door, their entire existence revolves around trying to get fat enough before the next winter hits so they can somehow slip into a pack that might take them in—even if that just means getting killed so they can at least have a place to die. Occasionally, they might try to seize control by force, but since they rarely get a steady meal, they’re almost never in any kind of shape to win a fight
It would be much more accurate to say something like a "lone bear," because those guys actually roam the woods solo by choice—they hang out when they feel like it, mind their own business, and generally don't give a damn about anyone else. Or maybe a "lone lion" or something similar... because calling someone a "lone wolf" is basically just describing social rejects
Charity—much like the labyrinthine halls of federal bureaucracy—seems to possess a rather peculiar, self-perpetuating quality. It functions as a feedback loop, where the very act of providing humanitarian aid often serves only to swell the demand for more... creating a perpetual cycle of intervention that never quite reaches an endpoint...
Sandra Mitchell69 said:Is it actually normal to feel like you have zero goals in life and just find everything incredibly tedious? Right now, I’m heading to my college classes from 8:00 to 11:00 AM, and then I’m left with three or four days a week where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. It’s exhausting; I constantly wish nothing would happen at all because I rarely feel any sense of excitement. It’s not that college is particularly thrilling, but I show up because that’s just the standard trajectory—elementary school, high school, college—and I’m just following the script. Nothing really brings me joy, except for this one guy, though there's no chance of anything happening with him. I’ve tried various activities, like dance classes and different workshops, but none of it stuck. How am I supposed to find someone who can actually step into my life and give it some semblance of meaning? My only real lifeline is this one friend from high school; she’s the only person who truly understands me, and if she weren't around, I think I’d lose it. Most people are just uninspiring. I need to find something that will fundamentally change my life. In the past, I used to see a different guy every single day just to fill the time, but even that didn't bring me happiness. I have friends and a few girlfriends, and we hang out enough to pass the time, but it doesn't actually fulfill me. I don't know why. Like I said, this one friend from high school is my best friend; she's the only one who makes me happy. We talk every day, and she feels exactly the same way I do—totally aimless and unfulfilled. Our connection comes from talking, joking around, calling guys, and plotting things together. All those typical hobbies that supposedly make people happy, like reading or dancing? None of that works for me. I need something more intense. And then there's that guy I mentioned before—my ex. He’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Being with him, especially when we're being intimate, is the only time I actually experience moments of genuine happiness. My friend and I are just built this way; these guys are our entire purpose. She has a boyfriend now, but if she were in my shoes without him, she’d be feeling exactly like I am. He is my entire world; those moments we spend together are my only source of joy. When he isn't around, I don't know how to function, so my friend compensates for that void. I love her more than anyone in the world. I don't know, maybe I am crazy, but nothing else interests me. Even college feels completely pointless.
Honestly, it’s perfectly normal—in fact, most of your life will probably feel exactly like that, unless you hit some major crisis that forces your hand...
Human beings aren't inherently "wired" to lead these grand, meaningful, blissful lives—not really. We're wired to exist within our social circles, solve problems when they inevitably pop up, and then just relax and idle when things are quiet...
This constant cultural pressure—this relentless imperative that we all need to be "living our best lives," chasing passions, and staying perpetually motivated—is frankly idiocy. Life doesn't actually function that way. Our biology, at its most basic, inherent level, isn't designed for "fulfillment"... it's designed for survival. You want to stay safe, eat enough, maintain decent relationships with the people around you, have a little fun here and there, find a partner, and that's essentially the whole game.
Anything beyond that is just forcing yourself to perform... I mean, think about how much effort it actually takes to spontaneously care about a college degree or set some lofty long-term goal... it's exhausting.
In reality, it’s far more spontaneous to beat yourself up over a lack of initiative, motivation, or drive—to view it as a deep personal failure, which leads to shame and anxiety, and so on... negativity is always the path of least resistance...
It’s all well and good until you’re staring down a hard deadline—one dictated by rigid specifications and impossible parameters—and you realize you simply don't have the bandwidth or the resources to make it happen under those exact constraints. When there is absolutely no room for maneuvering, no way to "pivot," and certainly no space to lean on the hollow crutch of positive psychology just to feel better about a disaster... when the reality is that certain tasks physically cannot be completed within those arbitrary windows, regardless of how you slice it... then all that optimistic talk becomes utterly meaningless. In those moments, the fluff doesn't solve anything; it just makes the person left holding the bag look incompetent, unprofessional, or irresponsible, even when they're being perfectly realistic...
No, the truth is I accepted a role that I simply don't have the bandwidth or the expertise to handle right now—I let myself be talked into it when I should have just stood my ground and said no... everything in me was just pushing me to say "why not, give it a shot," so I went along with it, and now I'm stuck with this sinking realization that I’m completely out of my depth... it feels like I'm just stalling and dragging everyone else down with me. And the worst part isn't even the internal guilt of knowing I'm backing out; it's the fact that people are going to remember me saying one thing and then doing another—especially since I handed over my professional reputation and contacts to make this happen, which, unfortunately, isn't the first time I've stumbled into this mess...
On the bright side, we haven't actually kicked anything off yet, and there isn't a signed contract on the table...
A job opportunity landed in my lap recently—right in my field of expertise—and my immediate, gut instinct was to shut it down before it even started.
Fast forward a couple of days... I ended up asking for their contact info, reached out, and let myself get sucked into those preliminary stages. Now? I am in a complete mess. If I had just stuck to my guns and said "no" when I knew deep down it was the right call, everything would be fine. But instead, I’m facing this reality where I have to back out now, and I’ll be carrying the weight of that indecision for as long as I live. It becomes one more thing I can’t forgive myself for—just another psychological anchor dragging me down whenever I spiral into self-destruction or resentment. It's just one more excuse to feel inadequate, one more reason to instinctively reject the next opportunity the moment it appears...
But the truth is, I actually need the work, which is exactly why I let myself stumble into this whole disaster in the first place.
casualharbor9 said:Anyway, that’s probably a conversation for a different thread. 😉 The issue at hand here seems to be the subjective perception of evil.
No, that’s not quite it... what we are actually seeing here is a neurotic projection onto everyone else—a cocktail of personal inhibitions and deep-seated anxieties that just happen to find easy targets.
She doesn't know what actual bad people look like—no, she hasn't encountered anyone truly "evil" in her entire life...
So you think you’re "good"? Well, just be "good"—honestly, what else is there? When a woman is described as "good," we all know there are certain... subtexts involved
Just accept it—this thing you call "evil" (though frankly, I don't get why people insist on such grandiose terminology; it's all just humanity in its most banal form)
That force is older, more potent, and far wiser than anything you, as an "individual," could possibly wrap your head around
Once you grasp that, things will become clear—and life won't kick you around quite so hard
Just a word of caution: it’s a tricky distinction. It’s one thing when someone is truly "evil"—there are plenty of those types out there, and you need to recognize them, watch your back, and react accordingly—but it is an entirely different matter when you are simply weak and submissive
If that's the case, then you've got your own problems to deal with
Jesse Mendoza4 said:Look, I laid everything out from my own point of view, and obviously, we aren't all cut from the same cloth, so we aren't going to see things the same way.
What's universal for everyone is the fact that we project our internal state and moods outward onto the world. Things and people exist around us, and it's totally up to us how we react to them. There's no such thing as an absolute truth. If you theoretically took two people living identical lives, one could be happy most of the time while the other is miserable. How does that work? It's because they have different perspectives and different ways of experiencing their surroundings and the people in them. For example, imagine they both fail a huge midterm at UCLA. One might get crushed, decide they're a failure, and just give up on school entirely. The other will be disappointed too, but they'll look at the situation objectively, admit where they messed up, and study harder to pass next time. They won't waste energy whining; they'll channel that energy into doing better. A string of situations like that eventually builds either satisfaction or frustration with life. You know the old cliché about the glass being half full or half empty? It all depends on how you see it. Some people find a lesson in a loss or a sad moment and end up being grateful later because that lesson changed their whole outlook.
Also, if I were in your shoes, I'd start questioning the kind of people you're hanging out with. Don't take this the wrong way, but in healthy, normal relationships, people see help as a gesture of friendship that brings them closer, yet you felt incapable just because someone lent you a hand. Something feels off about that kind of assistance. I want to tell you that not everyone helps because they're a good person. Unfortunately, there are people who help primarily so others will feel indebted to them, or just to make themselves look important and powerful. They help for selfish reasons to prove they're big-time philanthropists or super capable, all while subtly making the other person feel inferior. So, it's completely understandable why you wouldn't feel any gratitude toward people like that.
No, that would be fine—that’s clear enough. If that were the case, we wouldn't effectively owe anyone anything; we'd just handle our own business, and if someone tries to manipulate you, you either shut them down or, if the situation is truly screwed, you just deal with the fallout...
But when someone unprompted burdens you with the weight of their "help"—or things they did specifically for you—and all you can offer in return is gratitude, it creates this nauseating, cramped sensation... something akin to pity, I suppose...
In my view, it’s like someone handing you a gift you never asked for—actually, it's worse if it's something you actually needed in the moment. Sure, great, you got what you needed, but now you're stuck in this loop... and now what exactly are you supposed to do with that?...
I mean, a person does something kind for you, and suddenly you're left wondering how to navigate the obligation of it all... and what comes next...
I don't know... I’m honestly trying to force myself to find something—anything—to feel genuinely grateful for right now, but it's just not happening...
I honestly can’t wrap my head around how you can think—let alone feel—in such a way. I mean, I grasp the basic logic behind what you’re saying, but my brain just refuses to process it... it’s like trying to explain to me that sandpaper is actually smooth, or that a piece of cardboard is somehow a brick
I mean, how can a thing possibly depend on "how you look at it" in the first place? People love to throw that cliché around constantly, but even then, I don't see how it applies here That would imply that my actual, lived experience isn't "accurate"—that the raw sensation of frustration, hatred, helplessness, or shame I feel in a specific moment is somehow "incorrect"... as if the "correct" version would be noticing some beautiful bird on a branch, or how perfectly the sunlight hits the blinds, making everything feel alright again
I don't know, I just can't get there. I understand the theory—that there should be some sort of process involved. We could argue that all this internal chaos happening inside a person is mostly just nonsense, and that there ought to be ways to deal with it properly, somehow... but once you start down that path, there’s no turning back. You can't just decide that the negative stuff is suddenly bullshit while claiming the positive stuff is "truth." That’s not how it works; it's all just equally meaningless bullshit
Besides, those little bursts of positivity—some pleasant day or a clerk at the DMV being nice to you—they don't even reach a level of significance where they could actually change anything. They simply don't matter