I can't help but wonder—what if we’d actually managed to dodge all our mistakes? Maybe we wouldn't be the people we are today. You can sit there all day reading books or listening to some expert lecture, but honestly, it’s just like telling a kid, "Hey, don't touch the hot stove." They aren't going to get it until they feel the burn. It's the same for us adults; you don't truly learn anything until you've lived through it firsthand.
If making those blunders is what kept me from being an idiot, then I’m perfectly fine with having messed up.
You’re asking some really solid questions here—you clearly have a lot of passion for what you do 🙂 Honestly, my advice? Just dive into everything. Chase different hobbies, try random activities, and meet as many different people as you can. You’ll stumble onto that one thing that actually clicks with you eventually—it’s just a matter of time. Once you find it, it’ll feel like the whole world starts shifting into place.
So, tell me—how does it actually feel when you’re just hanging out by yourself and you have absolutely nothing to do? Don't hold back, give me the full breakdown if you're up for it.
I’ve always found myself wondering—seriously, what kind of deep-seated secrets are people actually terrified of leaking? It’s one of those things that sticks in my craw. Personally, I don't have much of a filter; if I think it or feel it, I'm putting it out there—no hesitation, no nothing. So, the whole concept of "trust" or being afraid of someone spilling your guts just doesn't bother me the way it seems to rattle everyone else. Honestly, though, I wouldn't mind stepping outside of my own head for a second and seeing how the rest of the world perceives things. Maybe then I'd get why everyone is so guarded.
I’m right there with both of you. Honestly, putting on an act all the time is just exhausting—it’s a losing game if you ask me. It’s way better to just let people think you're a bit of a weirdo or even just write you off entirely; at least then you can actually feel comfortable in your own skin without the constant performance. And honestly? It’s always so much easier to just be real with people from out of town 🙂
Richard Wells said:Have you ever thought about how you can tell the truth while still using a little more tact, without losing the actual point?
I'm right there with you on this one. There’s really only one truth, sure—but man, there are a million ways to package it, some being much easier to swallow than others.
Andrew Price3 said:First, understand that his behavior isn't about you. It’s entirely about him. You’ve essentially become his emotional outlet—the one he dumps all his deep-seated, internal trauma onto. He does it unconsciously, oblivious to the fact that he’s hurting you. What he can't face is his own pain, so he runs from it. One way he does that is through this aggression toward everyone around him... which is really just aggression directed at himself.
So, is it clear what he actually needs most? Your response should be peace, not a defensive reaction.
How do you even approach someone like that? Don't take the insults or the nonsense personally; they aren't personal. What he does is about him; what matters regarding you is how you choose to respond. Think about what your response would be, rather than just reacting. Just keep that in mind. Be the response. He can't actually do anything to you. There's no reason to fear people like this—they just bark and keep barking because they enjoy it.
Respond with calm. Stay by his side, but don't get pulled into his mess. Act as partners while you talk. If he starts complaining, fine—just look at the situation itself first, rather than focusing on who is reacting to it. Stay "cool." Try to steer an aggressive conversation toward a constructive discussion about solving the actual problem. Simply "hold your ground" calmly; the key is just being yourself. That will definitely make an impact when the boss notices something is off; "your response". He won't get what he wanted, but he might just get what he actually needs.
Take this approach into account. It is incredibly hard to stay worked up against someone who responds with calm, positive energy. If they keep pushing, then yeah, you can get more direct.
Using questions is a great way to ground the situation without being rude. If they snap at you for no reason, just ask straight up: "Could you help me understand how I should have handled that?"
People who yell usually have massive egos. They "need" to feel powerful and successful, and they live for validation. So, try leading with a compliment to soften the blow of your critique. That’s how you grab their attention. Catch them when things have settled down and say something like: "Hey Boss, do you have a second? I really love this job and I value the insights you share with us. There's just one small thing making it tough for me. When there's shouting, I lose my focus, and it takes me a few minutes to get back into the groove. I hate even bringing this up because I know how much you have on your plate, but I’d really appreciate it if we could keep our conversations a bit calmer during work hours."
Now, if we're talking about a mid-level manager and none of this polite stuff is working, your only move left is going over their head to their boss. Of course, that's a total gamble if the higher-ups are cut from the same cloth.
Jerry Bishop4 said:Personally, I tend to hide my feelings in real life. I was pretty open when I was a kid—if someone hurt my feelings, I'd cry, or if they made me mad, I'd get aggressive. Eventually, I realized that people will just use any emotion you show against you. So, since then, I don't really express much. Sometimes I might snap at someone, but that’s about as far as I go with showing how I feel.😲
Look, I get it—that sounds like a rough way to have grown up. But honestly? When you actually let yourself feel things out loud, it acts like a litmus test. It shows you pretty quickly who actually respects you and who actually gives a damn about understanding where you're coming from.
Suppressing your feelings and burying everything deep down? It’s honestly toxic. Most people do it because they’re terrified—absolutely petrified—of how someone else might react if they actually spoke their mind.
Look, I get it. Alcohol acts like a release valve for those mental brakes we all keep on. It’s kind of like when you’re just completely exhausted late at night—you know that feeling? Your guard drops, and suddenly you're way more open and emotional than you intended to be.
On one hand, I guess the whole point of being alive is just... experiencing things. You know? The highs, the lows, the gut-wrenching fear, the pure bliss, the absolute misery—all of it. It’s all part of the ride.
But then, looking at it from another angle—maybe this world actually *needs* people like you. Like, who else is going to step up if it isn't the individuals who look at all the cruelty, the manipulation, and the sheer disrespect out there and say, "No way, I can't live with this"? You can't just sit there and accept it, so you start building something better, trying to leave a positive mark on the world around you.
Michelle Barnes said:Honestly, props to everyone here for these posts. If this doesn't blow up, I don't know what will. I’m genuinely glad I stumbled onto this thread—first time using the mobile app, still figuring out how everything works, and I just happened to see this topic. Thanks, seriously. You guys clearly get that most people don't bother carving out time for others, especially strangers. Just by writing this stuff, you've laid out all the reasons why people actually need to be around—and that’s exactly what you guys are, just good people.
Edit: if anyone can help me out with a question, please hit me up. DM me or whatever.
About five months ago, my brother and his girlfriend were killed in a car accident. They died right there on the scene. 😢 It’s the kind of thing that just changes your entire life forever. But hey, I shouldn't make this about me. I really shouldn't. There’s his brother, two sisters, and his parents. They’re an incredibly tight-knit, honest, and humble family—really close. He was the only one who stayed local; the girls got married and the older brother moved away, but they always made sure to come home often. He was only 24. My aunt hasn't stopped crying since he was seven months old, and honestly, looks like she won't stop anytime soon. 😢His brother is struggling hard, his sisters too, and I don't even want to talk about the youngest sibling... seeing them go through this is gut-wrenching, and I feel totally helpless because there's nothing I can do to fix it. My question is, what did they ever do to deserve this much pain? Why does someone like my brother—truly the most decent, amazing person I've ever known—get taken out like this? Sorry for the long vent, I just really need to understand why someone experiences such a brutal tragedy.
Your question really made me think about this video. Give it a watch if you have the headspace for it.
Look, you can wrap your head around the logic of a situation—really dissect it until it makes sense—but honestly, that’s rarely enough to actually change anything. I mean, why else would anyone keep tripping over the same damn stone if they truly understood the physics of it? It’s about experience. You have to actually live through the mess and feel the sting to really internalize the lesson. Maybe the best way to put it is that we aren't just growing intellectually; we're growing emotionally, which is a much more painful process.
It’s one thing to sit there and tell yourself, "Yeah, I don't need that person or that job to survive," but that's just theory. It's a completely different beast to actually feel that independence in your gut and genuinely believe it when things get tough.
Chris Cruz3 said:I see two ways this plays out. Either he’s actually honest and admits he screwed up—like, real heartfelt, "let's just call it quits" kind of honesty—or it's everything else, where I just get up, walk out, and erase him from my life. Does any of this even make sense??? I'm spiraling because I don't trust my own judgment... honestly, I'm just pissed at myself for not walking away when the red flags first started popping up.
Stop beating yourself up. Sure, if you'd walked away the moment the red flags popped up, you wouldn't be in this mess, but you also wouldn't have learned a damn thing. Look at it this way: you're getting a chance to see the situation for what it really is so you can move forward a whole lot smarter next time.
Chris Cruz3 said:Who's at fault? Honestly, both. It's just action and reaction—I don't even know anymore. What really eats at me is this feeling that nothing ever changes. Despite everything, I still have this desperate urge to be back in his arms. Would I end up hating myself if I went back? How do you even forgive yourself for that? I can't just move on to someone else like it's nothing. I'm addicted... but to what? It's gotten to the point where I can't tell right from wrong... I don't know if I actually need him or if I should just let it go. It’s hard to believe that I can't even face him because I'm terrified of myself, though maybe facing it is exactly what I need to finally close this chapter. But no, I went ahead and blocked him everywhere. Still, I'm so curious... what is he even thinking??? I've lost who I am—I don't even remember when it happened. People love to say time heals all wounds, but they're wrong. How do you even break out of a cycle like this???
Look, give yourself some breathing room to forgive both him and yourself—but for the love of God, do not go back to that relationship. It doesn't matter what his intentions are right now; what matters is what kind of life YOU want to live. Based on what you're saying, you seriously need to keep that distance.
Just focus on the little things that make you happy and put all that energy back into yourself. That is literally the most important thing you can do right now.
So many people walk around thinking they’re unattractive. It’s crazy. But honestly? There’s always someone out there who thinks you look great—it just takes a little time. At the end of the day, beauty is totally subjective; what one person loves, another might not care for at all.
Look, I was never much for manual labor either—I definitely wasn't built for grinding through heavy lifting or anything like that. But I kept searching until I finally hit on what actually clicked for me. If I were you, I’d go ahead and take a Jungian personality test. You might actually get some decent leads on what kind of career would suit your vibe.
And listen, being born into nothing doesn't mean you'll stay that way. You can absolutely build your own fortune and change your circumstances over time 🙂 . Also, if you feel like you don't fit in socially, maybe it's just because you haven't found "your people" yet. Once you connect with just one person who truly gets you, it becomes so much easier to spot others like them.
Look, what happened, happened. You gave it everything you had—every single ounce—but it just wasn't being received. It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re pouring all that energy into someone else, and honestly, most people fall into that trap at some point. Just take the lesson, tuck it away, and start moving forward, one small step at a time. It’s going to take a while to really get past this—healing isn't exactly a sprint—but you will get there. Trust me on that.
I wouldn't go so far as to call it an innate personality trait. It’s more like a defense mechanism—a habit you pick up after getting burned too many times in the past. Think about it this way: say you encounter one or even several of those genuinely positive people I'm talking about. How long can that deep-seated distrust of everyone actually last if they were constantly there for you, lifting your spirits, really listening, and being the kind of support system most people dream of?
I honestly think you’re just going through one of those major life shifts, Carol Sullivan. Once you finally kick all those exhausting, fake, and toxic people to the curb, you’ll notice a whole new crowd of actual decent humans starting to show up. 🙂 I’ve definitely felt that shift myself—it’s something I’ve seen happen to plenty of my own friends and acquaintances too.
Sure, you might still run into some unpleasant types from time to time, but they won’t stick around for long.
Look, stress is a massive factor—it’s a total game changer. Between the constant grind, getting zero quality sleep, and barely spending any time actually being outdoors in nature, it all adds up.
Look, I totally get why you’re itching to know the details—I’m the exact same way, always overthinking everything—but honestly? You aren't going to find out unless you just go ahead and ask the hiring manager directly.
Look, it’s not ideal, but honestly? It’s probably not worth losing sleep over. You really just needed to take a breath and open up—treat it more like you're grabbing coffee with a close friend rather than some high-stakes interrogation. If it turns out the job and the boss are actually decent people, you can easily overlook a clunky interview style. And if they aren't? Well, you can always just hand in your notice and move on to something better. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff.