If you don't actually know his work—and I mean the real stuff, not just some random conspiracy theories—you have zero business judging his entire body of work or wondering why he hasn't blown up yet.
Over at the Women's Club, he basically spent his time trying to troll like an
- anti-vaxxer - pro-choice skeptic - homophobe
Then he drifts over to the fashion thread acting like some high-end critic. When someone actually asked him to show off his own style, he started making excuses. Most of the time, he’s just shouting into the void—writing posts to himself that nobody responds to. It’s honestly impressive how stubborn he is about staying there without making even a single attempt to fit the topic. And it's not like anyone hasn't suggested ways he could actually participate; he just treats those suggestions like personal attacks and insults.
I'll sign my name to this:
Sarah Cooper58 said:The guy got banned from another forum—which he was kind enough to tell us about—simply because he wouldn't stop trolling and picking fights. He does the exact same thing here. At first, I felt bad for him; I figured maybe he just wasn't catching on, which isn't really anyone's fault. But nope, it's intentional. He trolls you underhanded, reports people's reactions, and then strolls into the fashion thread acting like everything is perfectly fine.....
I'm reading through everything and trying to figure out where to even start. It all sounds so simple when people say it.
Sometimes I feel like there’s this angry, bitter, stubborn kid living inside me who’s decided to stage a coup. I know exactly what I should be doing—most of the time—but that part of me just refuses to cooperate. It’s pure defiance. Just a flat-out "no."
For example, I wake up one morning and try—God knows how many times now—to talk myself into going to get blood work done. I haven't slept (kept waking up all night) and I am desperate for coffee. And of course, it has to be the kind with milk and sugar—which, obviously, makes it useless for the test. It’s already sitting there. Before I can take that first sip (and I want it so bad my head, neck, and shoulders are already aching from the tension), I’m having this internal debate. "Come on, let's just get it over with." "No." "But it's important." "I don't care."
In the mornings, I feel like I only have enough bandwidth for one thing—work. Everything else feels like too much. That’s how I rationalize the resistance.
It's the same story with so many other things. I won't do them, even though I know the consequences are piling up. Everything I'm avoiding right now is just waiting for me, and eventually, it'll become an emergency and I won't be able to push it off anymore. But I don't do it. I procrastinate. And then, naturally, I beat myself up and worry about the fallout when... well, whenever.
Joshua Patel6, I get that health should come first, but for me, work comes first because I have rent, bills, and groceries to pay for. Plus medical costs. So, I've prioritized work. I don't know. This week I'm feeling a bit more motivated to actually get stuff done since I have the chance to step away for a bit (I'm going to try to take some sick leave). We'll see how much I actually manage to pull off.
After a nearly two-year hiatus—and yeah, call it a break if you want—during which I managed to drain about 50% of my total life force, I finally saw a doctor. She handed me an anxiolytic. She didn't want to start me on antidepressants yet because I was right in the middle of moving across the country, so she couldn't really follow my progress. Her advice? Once I’m settled in the States, find a local doc and ask for antidepressants. Not because I have clinical depression, mind you, but just so I don't completely fall apart.
The doctor here prescribed one of those rare antidepressants that doesn't clash with my autoimmune "best friend." Side effect? Insomnia. So, naturally, I got sleep meds too. I was on that combo for months—put on some serious weight, felt happy just because I wasn't a total wreck (even if I was fraying at the edges), but miserable because I was gaining pounds and still didn't feel significantly better. During a brief window where things actually seemed okay, I tried tapering off. It worked for maybe two or three months before the helplessness kicked back in, forcing me to hunt down a psychiatrist. After hearing my entire life story, she gave me a different antidepressant and new sleeping pills—mostly because I practically begged for them; she wouldn't have suggested them herself. Her big piece of wisdom? Fix my life: get some sleep, start exercising, eat healthy. Of course, I wanted to do all that, but did I? Not really. Maybe for a minute, but it was sporadic at best.
I'm not saying she's a bad psychiatrist. If anything, her professional take was that I don't have depression, but since my life is currently a chaotic mess I'm struggling to manage, let's see if the meds help. She didn't even think I needed to come to her for therapy sessions—since she runs her own practice—just that I should stick with the therapist I've already been seeing.
So, I’m stuck in this loop between therapy sessions and total burnout—everything just feels like "too much." Between dealing with loss, setting impossible expectations for myself, those whole "childhood trauma" things, and various health issues... it's a lot. Perimenopause keeps popping up as a possibility too, though it's hard to pin down when I can barely find the energy to get bloodwork done in the first place. I still don't have a steady roster of specialists here in the States, and honestly, even looking for one feels like an insurmountable task.
Taking PTO or sick leave constantly comes up as a solution, but I’d actually have to prepare for that at work. I’m flying solo on my projects, so any absence means either falling behind or risking a disaster if someone needs an immediate status report on where things stand. Not to mention, with my current "motivation" levels, I'm barely hitting my daily tasks—I keep promising myself I'll take medical leave once I finally "clear my plate," which is a joke. I think my boss might actually have a heart attack if I even hinted that I needed a week or two off.
I’ll grab a day or two to try and reset, but even then, I don't actually rest. I just scramble to find something to distract my brain—like I mentioned earlier—just so I don't have to sit there and deal with my own head. And of course, I end up spiraling and beating myself up. What if someone at the office needs something I haven't finished? What if I left a mess? Then there's the inevitable self-flagellation over not sleeping, not being "productive," doomscrolling, and just generally being a mess.
Brandon Myers20 said:The real kicker with depression is that the only way out is to actually change your life—but at the exact same time, you don't have the damn will to do anything
I’m hitting 50 soon. I haven't exactly checked off all the traditional life milestones, but looking back, I can't say I've failed. I have a solid job—likely moving to a permanent contract soon—and the work is actually interesting. My coworkers are great. I’m engaged, too, so wedding planning should be on the horizon. Even though I don't live in my hometown anymore, I've managed to build a circle of people who have become real friends. And I still have wonderful people back home that I stay in touch with.
The past hasn't been easy—family drama, bad relationships, loss, illness, death. On top of that, I deal with two autoimmune diseases. A failed attempt at treatment three years ago absolutely wrecked me. I lost my energy, my strength, my mobility... I was stuck in the house in constant pain, losing most of my social life in the process. All because of side effects from a medication that didn't even work. So now? I’m left dealing with both the original illness and the aftermath.
I wouldn't say I have depression, though I was on antidepressants for a few years due to health issues and a brutal breakup after a long-term relationship. Maybe it's anxiety or something similar. I've had depressive phases, sure, but this doesn't feel like that.
Since getting off the antidepressants, my mental state feels better—less "numbed out"—but now I’m experiencing a different kind of numbness. It’s like I’ve lost all motivation. I go to work, I come home. That’s it. I struggle through basic tasks and push anything complicated off until "better days," which just leads to a cycle of falling behind, stress, and panic. I end up working late most days, then head straight to bed and spend the night scrolling through forums, Facebook, or YouTube. In the morning, it takes me an hour just to physically get out of bed. I often wake up too early and start spiraling over real or imagined fears. At work, I barely manage the essentials; everything feels exhausting and overwhelming. Fatigue is a major symptom of my condition, but I haven't even made it to a check-up in a year. I feel like I can't catch up with anything, like nothing interests me. I just want to sleep, but even when I try, I can't. Instead, I just occupy my brain with the internet so I don't have to think about the heavy stuff. My life is literally just work-home-work-home. My fiancé lives in a different city, so we only see each other on weekends. Usually, I'm too wiped out from the week to do much, so he mostly just hangs out with me and looks after me. Sometimes we actually go out and do something fun, but most of the time it's just grocery runs and errands.
There were times when I actually wanted to make something of myself—to dedicate myself to something. I used to love yoga, and I still meditate. I have piles of books that look interesting, but I don't have the will or the patience to read them. I love food and I used to love cooking, but now I can't even bring myself to do that. I eat at work, or I just throw a sandwich together or order takeout when I get home. I live in a pigsty, which drives me crazy, but I can't find the momentum to clean it up properly. The constant exhaustion doesn't help; every bit of effort requires a recovery period. And while I'm resting, I just wonder if any of it matters anyway, since I won't succeed regardless. Is it too late? There's so much ahead of me, and I don't have the strength for any of it. So why even bother starting?
I've been in therapy for years. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. It just keeps me afloat.
I don't know what else to do that I haven't already tried. What scares me most is that I'm not even trying anymore.
Susan James said:It wasn't the moms who moved to the off-topic section—it was some random girls.
Chatting on the parenting board (which used to be the seniors group, if this is still the spot)
Thanks for the reply.
I know both of them, but neither really hits the mark for me.
New moms seem to vibe better in the generational groups rather than hanging out with those "lost souls"—at least, that’s my take 🤷. Besides, those younger crowds feel more like a general social lounge than an actual space for moms with babies.
It’s not really my thing personally, but I still find myself lurking in the pregnancy and parenting subreddits for old emotional reasons.
I honestly don't get why the parenting topic was moved to the "off" section—especially since I see pregnant women constantly asking where they can go for general parenting chats. It used to be similar to how we had that dedicated "Senior Citizens" thread on the main forum; it made perfect sense because people would just migrate there from the pregnancy threads after giving birth.
I'm wondering if there's any chance of bringing a dedicated thread back? Because once you move things to the "off" section, half the users don't even realize it exists.
I’m not a parent, but I’ve been following this topic since my older niece found herself stuck choosing between Mass and—get this—an actual sports tournament. Not every weekend, mind you, just once.
It’s a total mystery to me how anyone managed to get to Communion before they started shoving religious education into the school curriculum. As far back as I can remember, one Sunday school class was plenty, and people showed up for that. Mass was more of an option—you went if the teachers actually made it interesting or gave you a reason to care. It wasn't some mandatory checkbox. People went because they wanted to be there.
From what I can see now, you need double the religious instruction plus compulsory Mass just to get anyone through the door.
It’s like we have to drag kids kicking and screaming to church these days, even though we’re all supposed to be "devout adults." Funny how "back then" nobody was forced, and everyone seemed perfectly happy to show up.🤷
Rachel Gomez81 said:She’s suggesting you get your thyroid levels checked. I had a similar situation—though my bleeding lasted maybe a day or two less than yours.
Thanks for the reply. It finally started. So, we're talking just under a two-day delay. As for the cramps? Probably just some new version of PMS—it feels like I’m constantly coming up with new symptoms. 😵
I have Hashimoto and I've been on medication for 10.5 years now. My hormone levels are fine, but the antibodies? Still the same old story. Plus, they haven't touched my prescription in nearly five years.
Betty Nelson71 said:One question—does that menstrual cup carry the same risk of toxic shock syndrome?🤔
I can't quite put my finger on it—supposedly the biggest selling point of the cup is that you don't have to worry about that specific risk. But then again, I’m reading posts from women saying they can leave it "in" for up to 12 hours, while the official instruction pages suggest emptying it roughly every four. Of course, it all depends on how heavy the flow is.
Alright, now I’ve got a question for this thread too. My cycles used to be pretty predictable—usually around 31 days—but over the last few years, they’ve shortened down to 26. For a while, everything was clockwork, but lately, things have been off. It’ll be a day or a day and a half late, and I’ve been dealing with these pre-period symptoms for almost a week now. I take some ibuprofen to deal with the pain—which is honestly brutal for the first two or three days—and it helps a little, but then I just get this light spotting that lingers every single day. Anyone else dealt with this? Not pregnant. Anyone else dealt with something like this? It’s a bit too early to start panicking and rushing to my doctor—besides, she’s usually slammed, though she might squeeze me in if I tell her it’s an emergency. Doesn't feel like an emergency just yet, though. If things don't improve in the next couple of days, I'll head in. Obviously.
rustydrifter10 said:Nobody has the right to relentlessly harass or provoke you—or anyone else, for that matter. Anyone can comment on your posts, whether they're being positive or negative, regardless of whether you choose to ignore them or not.
There’s a massive difference between commenting on my post and using a derogatory tone to attack me personally. Or, you know, just straight-up insulting me (or anyone else). That’s what I'm talking about.
I'm not delusional enough to think anyone can be banned from commenting. Nor should they be.
I get that you have to side with the moderators somehow, and honestly, I think you’re doing it pretty fairly and decently. But I always felt like forum mods were supposed to be the "higher quality" users. I’m not saying Meta isn't necessarily bad, but I do think it could be a bit more polite and professional—even if it’s an unpaid gig.
Again, I don't care that she isn't a mod over at Chicken or that she hasn't used her authority against me. My issue is simply whether someone who communicates and behaves this way on the forum should even be considered for a moderator role. Is everyone else okay with that? Maybe it's just me.
edit: @nero, it took me five minutes just to figure out how your reply related to anything. Funny, I guess. But fine, you contributed to the thread. I suppose. I didn't mention you in my first post because we hadn't crossed paths before. And now I realize I need to correct myself, since most of the mods I used to clash with aren't even moderating there anymore.
Look, just tell me—if I’m actively ignoring her, going out of my way to bypass her entirely, and refusing to engage with anything she posts, but she keeps poking at me... what am I actually supposed to do? Because apparently, she has zero intention of backing off or letting me be, and she plans on commenting on whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Is this really how people are supposed to communicate on a forum?
In a way, I’m also complaining about her role as a moderator—she acts arrogant, rude, and seems to go out of her way to be evasive. Is it just her personality, or does she think she can get away with it because she "can"? Who knows. But the reality is that her dark username basically acts as a shield, especially since I can't even use the ignore button on her.
I wasn't actually asking for a penalty or a ban, nor any other kind of intervention; I was just pointing out the unprofessional behavior of a forum administrator. Just because she isn't a mod over at Chicken doesn't change the fact that she holds some weight here—enough to sanction and criticize others in that capacity. That kind of attitude from a moderator (regardless of whether it's within her specific thread or not) sends the message: "I can do whatever I want to you, but you can't touch me 🙂" or "We moderators make the rules, and we can ignore them whenever we feel like it."
So now it turns out she's totally untouchable because I can't ignore her since she's a moderator and I can't even lodge a complaint against her because she's just another user. 🤷
Fine. It looks like my only option is to just stay away from any threads where she posts on Chicken. She can say whatever she wants to me—given how lax the moderation is—but I don't have any recourse.🤷
P.S. If I politely ask her to give me some space and stop addressing me—which is what I'll be doing to her—and she just snaps that she couldn't care less about my opinion and will do whatever she pleases... then I might actually just leave this forum. Real classy.
I know I’m not exactly the most popular girl among the moderators over at Chicken (though I honestly don't get why—sure, I mess around sometimes, posting silly comments just to unwind and have some fun, which is what this forum is for if I understood correctly, but I try to be respectful and follow the rules)
Barbie is active in plenty of threads I enjoy reading. Even though I don't always agree with her takes (especially when she acts like the ultimate authority on everything and tears people down—in a pretty rude and inappropriate way, considering she should know how to communicate civilly without being condescent or making personal jabs at anyone who dares to have a different opinion)—I’ve never been disrespectful or insulting toward her. I have no interest in public drama; I know the rules, I don't want to get on the mods' bad side, and I genuinely try to play nice. Sometimes my opinion isn't everyone's cup of tea, but then again, their opinions aren't mine either. Sometimes we trade barbs, sometimes we debate the topic properly, sometimes we settle it in DMs, and sometimes we just ignore each other. Everyone wins.
After one misunderstanding (since people here tease and poke at each other constantly, maybe I gave myself too much leeway by poking fun at her, thinking we were all "cool" with each other—I really didn't mean anything by it, and I didn't realize I was in a group where that wasn't allowed because others had been teased for the exact same thing); plus, after a few previous DMs where it seemed like we'd agreed to disagree and move on (clearly, I was wrong); I realized it was smarter to just steer clear of her and not engage—better safe than sorry.
After a period of successfully avoiding and ignoring her, she started provoking me today in one of the threads without me even addressing her.
I tried to respond in a friendly tone (not that I want to be her friend, but I didn't want to seem like I was acting superior, so I left an honest, positive comment that I actually meant)
But she kept up the provocation and the personal digs—actually, straight-up insults. Which, frankly, were completely unnecessary.
(Please don't laugh at the silliness of the thread or the comments; the point isn't them, it's the interaction itself, which was totally unprovoked.)
I know things are moderated a certain way here, and I'm not looking for special treatment. But I am looking for some fairness. What is a regular user supposed to do when they can't even use the ignore button on someone because that person is a moderator? Someone who decides they can dump their opinions on everyone while refusing to accept any criticism, and feels entitled to insult others simply because they believe their view is the only correct one. I can't even report the insult because the other mods will probably just say I'm whining or complaining for no reason (I've seen that happen before).
I could just leave the forum, which would be a shame since I've been here for years. This place helps me relax, laugh, and learn new things. It doesn't feel right that I should have to walk away just because certain people here can't control themselves. If I can manage it as a regular user, the administration should be able to, too. Not just because they moderate a specific sub-forum, but because they should be setting the example and upholding the very rules they enforce.
Thanks for listening.
And hey, Meta—if you happen to be reading this—feel free to pull up any actual example of me being rude or out of line toward you.
Michelle Evans said:It’s all treated the same way—both are just spam. Some PDFs get wiped clean, while others face much harsher sanctions. Over at Food Network, they just delete them. If something stays up, it isn't because they chose to let it slide; it's because they missed it.
We don't edit posts just to strip out the rule-breaking parts and leave the clean stuff behind. We can't do that.
Hmm. 🤔 I don't see why it should be banned—provided there’s some kind of disclaimer explaining what it is and why it was even done in the first place. It wasn't like this was unheard of before; people used to do it all the time without anyone batting an eye.
Nah, I wouldn't dream of sticking my nose into that mess. You guys know what needs to be done.
I’m still going to stand my ground on this one—there has to be a way to actually distinguish between actual spam and just... well, different kinds of spam. Is that really too much to ask?