When are parents officially "done"?
in Psychology & Therapy ·
A lot of interesting takes here.
Here is my perspective.
Regardless of who they are, you earned your college degree. No matter how rough or messy the road was, you made it through.
I barely scraped by in high school. I was living on scraps; I remember having a hole in my sneaker big enough to stick a small glass through. I rarely even went to the restroom because the bullying was constant. I’d just hide my feet under my chair.
My old man was an alcoholic, abusive, blah blah blah—your typical dysfunctional American family. Clearly a PTSD-survivor (lived through war, let's do it again so we can have more idiots like him).
Later, once I grew up, I finally stood up to him physically. A few days after that, he came into my room begging me to take him to rehab.
I have a brother, 32 years old. He hit rock bottom when things were at their worst, yet he pulls in $3000 a decent salary now, which he spends entirely on booze.
Unpaid bills were our daily reality. I started working, things stabilized somewhat, but it wasn't the end of the story.
Then came the layoff, and everything went to hell again.
Honestly, I don't feel like writing much; I'll lose my train of thought and fail to say what I mean.
Personally, I didn't move out. I could have, but I couldn't leave them in the gutter. Damn it. They're my people. If they're trash, I'm trash with them. My brother? Not him.
Given the cost-benefit ratio of my life, I could have been a gentleman if I hadn't possessed such a conscience. Today, I settle for sparkling water and some fuel, since driving is my profession and my passion.
My brother is moving back home. Naturally, his girlfriend dumped him because he's a deadbeat. He used to pay rent for his apartment $1167, but now at home, he doesn't contribute a single cent. He's still eating off my parents' dime. Imagine being 32 and acting like a child.
People making that kind of money usually own a condo and a new car they swap every five years. He owns a bicycle.
The point of this nonsense post is that your writing touched me, especially how you address them.
Did it ever cross your mind to stay put? To swallow the pill, stay with them, fix the mess, clear all those debts, and *then* move out?
Those loans weren't taken out just for drinks and coffee; you benefited from them too.
By the way, my brother took out a $7,500 personal loan and blew it all in a month.
All in all, I know what you're going through. I dare say I've endured even worse.
It's lovely when your father tells you: "I should have left you on the sidewalk rather than raising you."
Truly motivating.
You can pay the bills and fill the fridge. That's what they did to you for the first 25 years of your life. If nothing else, they tried to do it the best they knew how. Look, you're alive 😉 and that counts for something.
One last thing: life is garbage, or whatever you want to call it. Personally, I'm sick of that "it gets better" nonsense.
Well, guess what? IT WON'T!
Here is my perspective.
Regardless of who they are, you earned your college degree. No matter how rough or messy the road was, you made it through.
I barely scraped by in high school. I was living on scraps; I remember having a hole in my sneaker big enough to stick a small glass through. I rarely even went to the restroom because the bullying was constant. I’d just hide my feet under my chair.
My old man was an alcoholic, abusive, blah blah blah—your typical dysfunctional American family. Clearly a PTSD-survivor (lived through war, let's do it again so we can have more idiots like him).
Later, once I grew up, I finally stood up to him physically. A few days after that, he came into my room begging me to take him to rehab.
I have a brother, 32 years old. He hit rock bottom when things were at their worst, yet he pulls in $3000 a decent salary now, which he spends entirely on booze.
Unpaid bills were our daily reality. I started working, things stabilized somewhat, but it wasn't the end of the story.
Then came the layoff, and everything went to hell again.
Honestly, I don't feel like writing much; I'll lose my train of thought and fail to say what I mean.
Personally, I didn't move out. I could have, but I couldn't leave them in the gutter. Damn it. They're my people. If they're trash, I'm trash with them. My brother? Not him.
Given the cost-benefit ratio of my life, I could have been a gentleman if I hadn't possessed such a conscience. Today, I settle for sparkling water and some fuel, since driving is my profession and my passion.
My brother is moving back home. Naturally, his girlfriend dumped him because he's a deadbeat. He used to pay rent for his apartment $1167, but now at home, he doesn't contribute a single cent. He's still eating off my parents' dime. Imagine being 32 and acting like a child.
People making that kind of money usually own a condo and a new car they swap every five years. He owns a bicycle.
The point of this nonsense post is that your writing touched me, especially how you address them.
Did it ever cross your mind to stay put? To swallow the pill, stay with them, fix the mess, clear all those debts, and *then* move out?
Those loans weren't taken out just for drinks and coffee; you benefited from them too.
By the way, my brother took out a $7,500 personal loan and blew it all in a month.
All in all, I know what you're going through. I dare say I've endured even worse.
It's lovely when your father tells you: "I should have left you on the sidewalk rather than raising you."
Truly motivating.
You can pay the bills and fill the fridge. That's what they did to you for the first 25 years of your life. If nothing else, they tried to do it the best they knew how. Look, you're alive 😉 and that counts for something.
One last thing: life is garbage, or whatever you want to call it. Personally, I'm sick of that "it gets better" nonsense.
Well, guess what? IT WON'T!