I know plenty of people who can't stand being alone. It usually stems from a lack of self-satisfaction—basically, they don't actually like themselves. They set these impossible standards, feel like failures when they miss the mark, and end up being their own worst critics. Naturally, they can't tolerate their own company, so they just keep running from one thing to the next.
If that doesn't hit home, maybe you’re just chasing happiness through other people. It's driven by this irrational fear that being alone equals dying. Realistically, you aren't going to be unable to feed or care for yourself for two years straight. The issue with this manufactured dependency is that you lose control over your own life; if someone you care about moves away or passes on, your happiness goes down the drain with them. And you can't really blame them—they're just living their lives.
At the end of the day, you're the only person you can truly rely on—you aren't going anywhere. Everyone else is just passing through, so you might as well learn to enjoy your own company. Take some time to get to know yourself and do things you actually enjoy. Treat yourself like a friend—with a little respect and kindness. You don't have to lock yourself in a room for a month; just try being alone for ten minutes a day until it feels natural. If it doesn't? Fine.
But trust me, once you realize how much solitude recharges you—bringing back peace, focus, and genuine joy—you'll start looking for every excuse to steal a few moments for yourself.
One more thing: true solitude—real quality time with yourself—happens in total silence. No TV, no music, no video games, nothing to distract your senses. That's what actually recharges the batteries. Just take it slow, a minute or two at a time every day...
Great thread—didn't realize we could start topics just to vent at people... Anyway, looks like you had quite the day. 😂
The ego is part of being human—it’s what drives us in certain situations. Nobody is so self-assured that they wouldn't want a compliment every now and then. If a compliment is fake, though, that says more about the liar than the person receiving it.
I'm guessing you're a prime example of someone who doesn't grasp why compliments matter. You clearly get it, otherwise you wouldn't be insulting people. And honestly? It wouldn't hurt to give someone a compliment once in a while—even if it's just to charm them.
Brian Doyle6 said:Honestly, that question is rhetorical and pretty stupid. To me, the situation is so catastrophic that when we get old, we won't just be annoyed that kids won't give up their seat on the bus—we'll actually be terrified of them. There are several reasons for this. 1. Nowadays, parents have zero time. They work all day, and by the time they get home, they're completely burnt out. The easiest way to handle the kids is just to buy them a TV or a PlayStation so they stop bugging you... I read somewhere that in England, parents are buying three-year-olds their own TVs. 2. Women are having their first kids much later now. Someone having a baby at 35 or older isn't really a young mom anymore; they're basically acting like grandmas. And as we all know, grandmas always had way more patience—sometimes infinite patience—so a kid could act out however they wanted. On the flip side, a 21-year-old mom (which used to be the norm) doesn't have the energy for every little tantrum and might actually snap and slap a kid if they push it too far... 3. Just like the world has become more insane, tense, and high-strung, there are more psychopaths out there who should never be allowed to have children or be parents. Of course, kids are just a mirror reflecting those psychopathic parents.... 4. Even in preschool, there's this modern version of "socialized upbringing" where teachers aren't allowed to do anything to some shitty kid from a criminal family. A kid can hit people, scream, and cause chaos however they want, while the teacher is only allowed to "redirect their attention." It's the same story in school: kids do whatever they want, and if a teacher finally loses it and does something about it, they risk getting sued by a bunch of psychopathic parents. 5. When I was a kid, I knew I had a Cartoon coming on every single day. Sometimes, if there was a football game on, I knew I might catch another show during halftime. Otherwise, I was outside wandering around, riding my bike, playing with the neighborhood kids... and occasionally (very rarely), I'd spend a few bucks at the arcade. Today, kids have Cartoon and a million other channels, they've got VCRs, obviously they have PCs with endless games, and then some clueless parents go out and buy them a PlayStation on top of that. Kids today spend all day glued to these gadgets. All the games we used to play seem pointless and boring to them; they barely even know how to kick a ball or walk straight...... Because of the idiots who fulfilled their parental duties by buying their son the latest PlayStation, my own son felt frustrated because I refused to buy him something so unnecessary, sick, and idiotic—yet there were his classmates bragging about their PlayStations... But like I said, there are just too many idiots having kids these days. That's the core issue.
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Thanks to everyone else for sharing their thoughts... it seems setting boundaries—and actually balancing them—isn't easy. Clearly, a massive chunk of parents can't pull it off, which leaves us with a society where I've lost count of how many four-year-olds are already dealing with depression... it's grim.
I also think that even if you miss the mark on a boundary here or there, you can still raise a functional adult through actual communication. A good friend gave me some solid advice recently: if you tell a kid "no," give them a reason. They might actually accept it then. It takes me back to being a kid ("you're doing it because I said so, and I can spank you if you don't")... my friend was talking about providing an actual rationale.
amberfox4 said:http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=kBVmfIUR1DA I would suggest you turn up the volume on your speakers and simply let yourself get lost in the experience.
Great. I don't buy the "fake" argument—I've seen plenty of examples in real life.
Uh... finding that balance is tough... (assuming, since I don't have kids yet) especially when you're coming from an unstable household.
Just a quick thought—parents trying to make up for a lack of affection with material stuff doesn't automatically lead to spoiled kids. Not if there isn't much to begin with. Speaking from experience. It's actually why I spend so much time thinking about how to raise a healthy, happy kid.
Amanda Kern2 said:Why shouldn't kids have AC in their classrooms? Look, I don't have children, but if someone tries to lecture me about how "spoiled" today's generation is just because they want air conditioning, they're missing the point entirely. I grew up in schools where we were sweating through our shirts in 95-degree heat, or dealing with playground equipment that felt like it was melting under the sun. Is it really "oppressive" to want to give our kids the best? If it's within my means, and I had a kid, I’d be looking at a chauffeur driving them to school and classrooms equipped with climate control and mahogany desks. Anyone calling this hypocritical—especially compared to how most parents actually handle upbringing and education—is clearly deluded. What kids possess, and the specific things they have, only matters if you approach the situation with the right mindset. Graham and Mikimiki hit the nail on the head here.
Exactly, why wouldn't they? The original question was whether stuff like this affects how kids behave nowadays.
Ronald Morales2 said:Yeah, we’re all spoiled... I love it when the older generation goes, "We didn't have computers back then, so why should you need them now?" Look, if it's hot out, it's hot. If we have the option to fix it, why wouldn't we? And it's not like the world is ending just because someone doesn't own an Xbox or a PlayStation Half my friends don't even have a console, and they're doing just fine... It's not about being bratty, it's about keeping up with what's actually happening. My neighbor upstairs literally bought a PlayStation 3 when it was super expensive just so he could say he had one and stay on trend... I actually suggested to my classmates at school that if everyone chipped in $17 (we share classrooms, so like 60 kids total), it would be $1000 and we could just buy ourselves some AC... The main issue is just that our parents grew up without half the stuff we take for granted today...
Hannah White2 said:What even is "spoiling" anyway? It’s just this tired cliché people slap onto parents these days. Like, what are we actually doing regarding our own responsibilities? Are we even carving out 60 minutes a day to focus solely on our kids—on whatever they want to do? Kids are a direct reflection of us. That whole term "spoiled" implies that giving kids affection or attention is somehow a bad thing, which is total nonsense. It’s actually the opposite—if we weren't taught properly by our own parents, we fail at our duties (which means giving them focused, undivided attention) because we’re too busy looking out for ourselves instead of thinking about others. Joanna, would you enjoy sitting on a packed Greyhound bus in 90-degree heat without AC after working an eight-hour shift just to make ends meet? Or how about driving 45 miles home in a sweltering car with no air conditioning, knowing you still have to deal with cooking, cleaning, and laundry once you walk through the door? How much actual freedom do kids really have to express themselves? We teach them at the local park that it's "rude" to tell another kid, "HEY, THAT'S MY TOY," and force them to share—literally ripping toys out of their hands—yet most adults aren't even willing to share their own stuff, whether it's money, cars, or books...
Boundaries? Yeah, sure, you need them. But you can only set boundaries if you actually understand your own limits and respect everyone else's. That requires a massive amount of self-respect, which, let's be honest, is pretty hard to find in the world today. Well-adjusted, well-raised kids only come from parents with solid character.
Responsibility? Is the right way to teach a kid responsibility really just through bribery and threats? You know, the whole "If you don't clean this up, then [insert consequence here]" routine. Or do we force them to clean while simultaneously calling them a mess (pure criticism), or do we actually praise them and ask for their help? Stuff like that...
I’d say being spoiled is basically an upbringing that fails to instill responsibility, leaving kids clueless about how to actually function in the real world. They get everything they want as kids, so when they hit the "adult world" and someone finally tells them "no"—or they realize things don't just fall into their lap—they turn into unstable, manipulative, aggressive, or even criminal types. That’s the kind of spoiling I'm talking about.
How do we handle our own responsibilities? Are we dedicating at least an hour a day solely to our kids based on what they need? Kids are a reflection of us. The whole term "spoiled" implies that showing affection is somehow bad, which is the exact opposite. If we weren't taught properly by our own parents, we end up neglecting our duties—like giving focused attention—just to cater to ourselves instead of thinking about others.
Showing love involves affection, which is different from the stuff I mentioned above. And honestly, it's essential for healthy development.
Joanna, do you actually enjoy sitting on a packed bus without AC after working eight hours just to survive, or driving 45 minutes in a sweltering car only to come home to more heat—cooking, cleaning, laundry?
No. I don't travel that much, and I actually avoid using AC for health reasons. Regardless, that’s not why I started this thread.
Responsibility? Is using threats and blackmail really the right way to teach a child responsibility? Like, telling them "if you don't clean this up, X will happen." Or do we force them to clean while calling them messy (criticism), versus praising them and asking for help? Etc...
You're bringing up threats and blackmail... personally, I don't think sitting in a classroom for a few hours without air conditioning counts as either.
Dana Miller2 said:So, you’ve officially become your parents. It happens to the best of us... we all end up complaining about how spoiled kids are today like we weren't the exact same way back then. 🙄😁 If you’re actually sane and level-headed, you'll set some real boundaries, and everything will turn out fine... I'm just sick of people blaming the schools, the Secretary of Education, society at large, TV, or even big banks for how kids turn out... at the end of the day, it's on the parents. The sad truth is most people—including parents—are just idiots 🙂. Honestly, the only real difference between parents now and parents back then is that nowadays there are more ways to fail and way more stuff to buy at Target.
That's what I was thinking... it wasn't the Secretary who messed up in this instance, it was the parents. They just love passing the buck because admitting you screwed up is pretty pathetic...
copperrider20 said:Honestly, it’s such a joke. In places like Germany or the Netherlands—you know, actually functional countries—the government sets the total number of required school weeks and the national holidays, and then each region just decides how to split up their own summer, winter, or spring breaks.
I mean, does it even make sense for kids in a coastal town like Miami or somewhere down in Key West to get three whole weeks of winter break? Like, 99% of them aren't heading off to go skiing or sledding or ice skating. At most, they’ll be out walking through a storm or hanging out at a local convenience store. It would make way more sense to let each county set its own schedule, as long as the total number of instructional hours per semester stays the same everywhere.
Brilliant idea. I’m sure our government will get around to considering it right around the turn of the next century... unfortunately. But hey, it's vital that those three weeks of winter break are mandated since the average American family with kids in school goes skiing every single year. I'm not sure how that works, given that the cost of living is already 30% higher than the average paycheck.
You’ve probably seen the headlines lately about parents complaining because their kids have to sit in classrooms hitting 90 degrees without any AC.
WTF???
I won't even get started on what it was like for me back in the early '90s—walking into crumbling schools with basically nothing. We all know how rough our school conditions used to be.
The real question is: Have we gone overboard with coddling kids? Do they have too much freedom and way too little responsibility? Or am I just starting to sound like my own parents with the whole "back in my day" routine?
More importantly, does this kind of "pampering" have anything to do with the rise in drug use, promiscuity, or even school shootings?
And why is there so little supervision these days? I’m not advocating for physical or psychological abuse, or locking kids in their rooms—I’m just wondering if, as a society, we haven't let things slide a bit too far.
I take Valerian occasionally. Honestly, I don't even know how to put this—I’ve been battling panic disorder (about 90% recovered at this point), and I used to reach for Valerian whenever the anxiety kicked in. If I took it during the day, it would knock me out; I could get things done, sure, but I was yawning constantly and felt totally groggy. The anxiety went away, though. There were even times a single dose just flattened me—had to go lie down for a few hours because I was basically non-functional.
Now, here’s the kicker. Every once in a while, I’ll take two tablets to help me sleep before a stressful day. And wouldn't you know it? It hasn't knocked me out a single time. Great. Just great.
I used to take Xanax for the actual panic attacks, so I can pretty much compare the two. In terms of calming you down, they work similarly. The main difference—which is probably obvious—is that Valerian is just a herbal supplement, much like Persen.
Yeah, I also found data suggesting a maximum of 3 years. Of course, it depends on a million different things. For instance, I had those rose-colored glasses during my first big crush—it lasted about 3 years. The whole relationship actually stretched to 6 years because, later on, it became about habit, dependency, and thoughts like "what if I don't find anyone else?" or "everyone else sucks anyway, so I might as well stay." Once I finally got out of that long first relationship, I learned how to spot red flags—not to say anything worse—so I could be more careful. I started picking up on those signs within the first month or two, which saved me from making life complicated and miserable down the road. Since then, I haven't really fallen head-over-heels for just anyone. That is, until this one incredibly special person showed up—someone I didn't even fall for at first. But we love each other deeply. It wasn't that "I'm moving into a shantytown with you..." phase; instead, it was built on trust, closeness, and real love. There weren't many butterflies in my stomach—more of a warmth, like I’d finally come home. To me, that's a solid foundation for marriage—better than that crazy infatuation.
The problem is that most people have no idea what to do once the rose-colored glasses come off. Instead, they just find someone else to wear them for, buzzing around like bees from flower to flower... some doing it their entire lives. In those cases, the infatuation lasts forever—only the targets change.
You think they’d ever actually admit to being psychopaths? Personally, I doubt they’d even own up to it to themselves. I can't wrap my head around that kind of mindset—but I guess to them, it’s just business as usual...
Thanks, everyone! Honestly, I was pretty shocked seeing how much people can extract from just a few sentences—only to turn it into an entire speech that says absolutely nothing. It’s been quite the inspiration. In a very blunt way (thankfully without any real-world consequences, since this is just a forum), you've confirmed what I've been thinking about lately. I deal with this kind of thing at work all the time... so my takeaway is this: the winners are usually the ones who can talk and talk without actually saying anything or accomplishing a single thing. On one hand, they're smiling and giving you a pat on the back, but the second you turn around, they're sticking a knife in your back. And then—with total grace—they wrap it up so nicely that they convince you that the stabbing was actually just another friendly pat on the shoulder. I'm not thrilled about having to play along, but given my career path, I might have to start acting like a career politician... I'm off to study, and I'll be back once I've mastered enough material for this PDF. Then we can see who's more "spiritual." Such a complete paradox. 🤣
Thank God for this magic tool that explains exactly what we were trying to say... and for those American translations—since apparently, not everyone on this forum understands plain English and needs things translated back into their own dialect so they can finally grasp them. It’s always fascinating how someone can squeeze so much "wisdom" out of just a few sentences. Honestly, you should be a psychoanalyst if you aren't one already. 👍
Since you're clearly such an oracle, I'm curious why you can't tell the difference between being critical and just being a jerk (which, in my case, is just trashing people out of pure ego). If my refusal to spit on anyone who disagrees with me puts me in the category of the mentally incompetent, then fine—I'll happily take my place in that drawer.
Thanks for all the effort you put into overanalyzing my posts—it's impressive how you managed to project so much onto my five or six measly sentences.
As for Ronin, if he ever actually asks for an explanation, I'll give him one. I don't feel particularly obligated to explain myself to people who didn't ask. And if you happen to find a single post where I actually called the guy stupid, please, let the moderators kick me off the forum. You're the only one here using that tone, yet somehow, you're the one calling it stupid.
jademarlin26 said:Unfortunately, your grasp of maturity and criticism cannot be clarified by this post.
You were looking for a smiley—sorry, I guess we're just used to all those long-winded speeches that don't actually say anything... so I get why my brevity isn't cutting it for you. I definitely wasn't cut out for a career in politics.
Please tell me you're joking. Throw in an emoji or something. Do something...
How about this: 😉
I actually did something—it just slipped past you and silentcyclist3... Someone already used the magic word: expectations... Here's one more 🙂 just so there's no misunderstanding...
We all deal with ups and downs... Don't fight it—if you're feeling low, just take some time for yourself. Think, cry, veg out, or whatever. It’ll pass much faster than if you try to put up a front and pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. Honestly, I find it helpful—I actually enjoy a bit of self-pity sometimes. Once the tears subside, I feel refreshed, kind of like how everything looks after a summer rainstorm... clear, crisp, and exactly how it should be.
Angela Hall30 said:Look, spirituality is a slippery slope. Anyone can claim just about anything, and it doesn't mean a single word of it aligns with reality. Personally? I don't consider myself a spiritual person—not even close—and frankly, I'm perfectly fine with that.
Agreed. But are you *sure* you aren't a spiritual guy? And honestly, how do you even define being "spiritual"? Who counts as the real deal? (Rhetorical questions—just keep reading)
???
If there weren't so many ???, this PDF would probably just be titled "Practical Advice" or something equally mundane. 😉
@jademarlin26: The OP should probably weigh in on that. My take? It’s because there's an expectation that people reading those PDFs have actually matured—so they won't "sink" to the level of nitpicking or those "infantile outbursts" Quote said, as per Ravih. Apparently, these "spiritual gurus" are expected to have conquered their egos by now.