I think the title of this thread is a bit off. In my view, this isn't about parenting or kids; it’s just a standard dispute within an extended family. Whether you like it or not, your parents, siblings, and cousins are your extended family. When things go south with the folks outside your immediate household, just leave them ☕alone .
I’ve endured my fair share of heckling and ridicule myself, so I empathize with your situation.
My small contribution is this: I am teaching my child to be open to differences. I make sure they never, ever hurt anyone with harsh words just because someone looks different or lives with a disability. It isn't much, but if everyone raised their children with that kind of clarity, these issues would vanish within a few generations.
Patrick Alvarez20 said:So, there are a few things on my mind... I’d love to hear some experiences or maybe get an opinion from someone who actually understands human psychology regarding what I’m going through right now.
About a year ago, I fell for this guy, and honestly, he absolutely wrecked me. At first, the relationship was full of these incredible, beautiful moments, but then he just abruptly pulled away. Once I realized something was off, I tried to sit him down and talk about us, but he just turned it around on me, claiming I was "creating problems where none existed." It started with him being distant, dodging hangouts, and basically ghosting my attempts at connection—until I realized I was the only one making any effort while he acted like everything was perfectly fine. We actually broke up for a full month, which was pure agony for me because I had become emotionally dependent on him, while he just kept retreating. He didn't even have the backbone to tell me to my face that he wanted out. To be fair, neither did I. I just couldn't wrap my head around why this was happening. One day we were great, and the next, it was a completely different story.
Eventually, things ended for good, and I spiraled into a total funk. I neglected my classes at NYU, pushed my friends away, and forced myself to go out when I really just wanted to crawl into a hole. I wasn't myself anymore. My friends would get frustrated with me, asking why I was acting this way, but I just couldn't help it. In the meantime, I didn't try to get close to anyone else because I missed him too much, and frankly, nobody else seemed interesting enough. And I have to admit, there were plenty of wonderful people around me. I totally put him on a pedestal. I realize that now—it took me a whole year to see it clearly—but still...
I remember talking to a friend back then who told me that at our age (26), almost everyone has one story like this in their past. And looking around, it seems true; nearly everyone I know has dealt with a similar kind of "trauma." I have a friend who spent eight years stuck in a cycle with a guy who would leave her and only come crawling back whenever he needed something, and she just wasn't strong enough to end it.
So now I’m wondering—why do we do this to ourselves? Why am I still struggling with it, why is it so hard to accept that he isn't what I need, and why do I keep telling myself I'll never truly get over this? The truth is, I can see how much he changed me, and unfortunately, not for the better. How do you move past that?
I’d love to hear about your own experiences after your "traumas"... How long did it take you to recover and get back on your feet? How did it change you? And were you actually able to build healthy, quality relationships with someone else afterward?
I’d ask the moderators to please keep this thread from moving to the venting or US boards, and sorry if this post feels a bit scattered. I’m not exactly feeling 😢
The only strange thing to me is that you're only just having this realization at 26.🙂 Mine hit me at 15 and lasted until I was 17; it left a mark on my life that never truly faded. It was a heavy, traumatic experience, and it took me decades to move past it. Every relationship I had afterward was broken because of that one wrong person at the wrong time. They aren't lying when they say you only love like that once—when you're foolish and blind to everything else happening around you. It never happened again. Instead of fond memories of young love, I’m left with nothing but guilt, shame, and regret for how I spent those years.
I'm 29 now, and perhaps I've only just become a functional human being.
What happens when someone diagnosed with schizophrenia is prescribed an antidepressant, like Lexapro? Does it actually lead to any noticeable improvement, or is Lexapro completely ineffective in these cases?
Question number two: what is the typical duration for manic episodes versus periods of stability? Is it possible for a person to remain stable for months while the psychotic episodes only last a few days? Or does schizophrenia typically involve much longer bouts of instability?
When I was around 19 or 20, that’s exactly what I looked for. There were plenty of reasons, but the core issue was simple: since I was their first serious partner, they had absolutely no right to demand anything more than what I was willing to offer at the time—which was just hanging out, and who knows about tomorrow. Every attempt at control or making demands gave me the perfect trump card: "Who are you to ask anything of me? Am I asking anything of you?"
I don't think I was an emotional masochist, so that doesn't necessarily mean you are. In fact, it wasn't until I was 20 that I entered my first relationship where I was the only woman. It didn't end well. It started suffocating me almost immediately, and the whole time, I was just running away from something—likely myself.
I see what’s happening here. Out of fear of falling short—or failing to meet someone else's standards—people refuse to take responsibility for anything. Whether it's plants, pets, or actual human relationships...
But if you keep this up, you’ll eventually find yourself alone. Sure, you won't owe anyone anything, and you'll technically be "free," but the reality is just being isolated behind a massive wall you built yourself.
So, here is my advice. You don't have to take on responsibilities that don't suit you. But when it comes to people, be careful. If you aren't willing to take even a small risk—to give everything knowing you might lose it all—you will never find what actually works for you.
It is only through trial, error, and a fair amount of luck that you discover what you are truly missing.🙂
I won't start a new thread, so I'll just follow up here. The latest development is my new diagnosis. Instead of getting any actual clarity or explanation, I just ended up with a new code on my chart, so I'm asking here... So, the diagnosis is F60.3, emotionally unstable personality. When I looked it up, Google suggested it’s essentially Borderline Personality Disorder, though some sources don't call it that.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you actually resolve it?
My psychiatrist gave me exactly one option for treatment covered by my insurance: group therapy. What a nightmare. Has anyone actually been through those sessions? What is it even like? I can't shake the image from those American movies where it's just "Hi, my name is ___ and I'm crazy."😁
God... where am I even supposed to find this group therapy?🙂
I went through my own share of struggles... way more than I did before I finally saw a doctor. I was constantly blaming him, questioning everything, breaking down for no reason, and forgetting every single plan we made. Basically, I drove him to his absolute limit, and he was inches away from walking out and never looking back. Once we finally got medical help and realized my behavior wasn't just "who I am," but something happening beneath the surface that I couldn't control, everything changed completely. He started stepping up; he’s actually trying to shoulder some of the weight so I don't have to, making sure I take my meds, and just being more attentive in general.
Illness isn't a choice, and you can't just willpower your way out of it. Just remember that it's exhausting for him, too. Even on your good days, make sure he knows you appreciate him staying by your side and see how much he's doing for you. It's hard on them, just like it's hard on anyone living with a chronic condition. Sure, marriage is supposed to be "in sickness and in health," but still... personally, I'm just incredibly grateful to have someone standing with me when things get dark (which is a first for me).
I am looking forward to finally offloading this burden; I truly welcome the experience. My first appointment with the psychiatrist is only a few days away... this waiting period has been interminable.
Alex Barnes8 said:Then just be that way. Who's stopping you?😁 If you're in a phase where everything makes you angry, there's probably a reason for it. What's wrong with having some temperament, or being a bit fierce? 🤷 As long as you aren't taking it out on people, physically or mentally, it shouldn't matter. I don't think anyone should try to help by suppressing who they really are just to fit in. Just be yourself and let those phases happen naturally. It won't hurt anyone.😍 Though, if you really want to, maybe look into progressive muscle relaxation. It's a decent, simple enough technique. 😉
Hehe, 🙂you completely misread my 🙂 🙂
I wasn't saying I was angry; I meant I've fallen ill. 🙄 I don't know exactly what it is yet, but I know I'm not okay... I've started losing my grip, having panic attacks, depression, paranoia, and most of all, it feels like my reality looks nothing like everyone else's. At least, that's what a psychologist suggested—bizarre thinking with borderline psychotic symptoms and other things that confirmed my fears... that I'm just snapping like a dry twig. 😂 I blame these last few years, which I survived through sheer superhuman strength. I remember my friends telling me: "I take my hat off to you! Respect!" If only they could see me now.... ☕
driftinggull21 said:Not necessarily. Professionals from various other fields can complete specialized training in a specific school of psychotherapy.
So other professions can be psychotherapists? But aren't psychiatrists fully trained and qualified for psychotherapy during their schooling and residency?
The first two doctors I saw just pushed pills. No real conversation, no depth. Just a "take whatever you want" attitude. One actually asked me, "Just tell me what you need."
I didn't take anything from either of them, and I've avoided them by a wide margin for years.
Now I've seen a psychiatrist who prescribed medication immediately, but she also noted that therapy would be mandatory alongside the meds once we finalize my lab work and testing. I resisted the pills at first, but after a few more incidents, I realized I had to. I'm curious to see how her "psychotherapy" actually functions, given that this isn't a private practice, but part of the public healthcare system.
I’m not entirely sure there's a meaningful distinction between a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist. A psychiatrist should be trained as a psychotherapist as well, shouldn't they?
Typically, you have to cycle through at least three psychiatrists before you find one who actually clicks. Don't let a single bad experience discourage you. I went through two terrible ones myself before landing with my current doctor. Since I walked in fully expecting the worst, I have to say I was genuinely surprised by how good it turned out. 🙂
I’ve heard that this is actually a standard reaction. When you're under intense pressure, the body goes into overdrive, granting you almost superhuman capabilities. But once the crisis passes, the brain finally starts to unwind, and that is precisely when the chaos begins.
If you've been living under chronic stress for years, and then your life finally stabilizes—meaning you should be happy and content because you can finally relax—that is exactly when people break. It happens just as the system tries to return to baseline.
I don't know how you can help, nor do I know how to help myself, so I won't offer any profound advice. But someone out there surely will...
I recently sat for one, and the results were essentially this: The projective technique identifies struggles with adaptation, aggression control, social communication, and ego stability. Regarding personality, signs of personality disorder are present.
How on earth does one derive all that from six little squares and a few dots?
My psychiatrist informed me that medication alone won't cut it; psychotherapy will be necessary, though she didn't specify the type or frequency. My next appointment isn't until mid-January. I assume the delay is intentional, giving the meds enough time to kick in first.
I know I've made plenty of mistakes, but seeking therapy isn't one of them. This was my choice, made entirely on my own without telling anyone. I've been living on my own and moving from city to city since I was sixteen. That’s likely why no one has managed to truly get close enough to push me toward treatment. I'm starting to realize those old habits of running away were just the beginning of my issues. Even now, part of me wants to pack a bag, bolt, and start over somewhere else. If I didn't have responsibilities holding me down, I'd probably spend years just trying to outrun my problems instead of actually facing them.
Basically, a psychologist doesn't provide a diagnosis. It felt like the entire evaluation was just a summary of what I said or how I answered the MMPI. Looking up schizotypal traits online, I found they align perfectly with my struggles. One site mentioned people with these traits rarely marry. Well, I certainly defied that logic—I got married, only to divorce a year later.🤣lol
Can someone walk me through my results? I've read this ten times now and I still can't make sense of it. Am I okay?
It says: - difficulties at the self level - personality profile is colored by an experience of high-level distress (is this how I feel, or just how the psychologist perceives me during the session?) - personality traits are dominated by signs of personality disorder (it doesn't specify which one) - schizotypal characteristics—bizarre thinking and perception with borderline psychotic symptoms - Goldberg psychotism index is borderline.
The above is gibberish to me. I understood most of the rest, but nowhere does it actually say what is wrong with me. What am I dealing with?