driftingridge6, ever thought about hitting up therapy? You're sharp enough to see that this isn't just about you being "needy"—it's also about how much you guys actually click. If you could get some clarity from a pro, maybe things would feel less messy. Once you figure out how to handle more of your own stuff internally—more than you do now—you might realize he’s actually a solid guy who's enough for you. Or, you might learn how to actually communicate what you need so he has a fair shot at meeting it... or you'll just realize he simply doesn't have the emotional bandwidth to give you what you want. And honestly? That's fine too once you reach that realization.
I’d suggest checking out the book five languages of love. Obviously, one book won't fix everything, but it’s a decent starting point for reflecting and understanding both yourself and the other person.
It feels like you're kind of mad at yourself for having needs in the first place. Sometimes you just have to admit, "Yeah, I'm a little needy right now," and own it. You can be totally chill with most people without being "too much," but when you're in a real relationship with someone who actually brings value to your life, it's worth doing a little soul-searching to see where the disconnect is.
Regarding what I asked earlier—I checked in with my doctor today 🤦 and she says it’s fine. Apparently, the main thing is that the white blood cell count isn't through the roof... so no need for an antibiotic or a urine culture or anything.
Can anyone weigh in on this 24-hour urine result showing 0.22? It says "normal" if it's under 0.25 following intense activity—though I don't recall doing anything particularly crazy...
If I were just resting, it should be under 0.08, so by those standards, the number looks high.
Hey, can anyone make sense of these urine results? leukocytes 5-8, some bacteria, plenty of epithelial cells, a little mucus, trace amounts of albumin I'm diabetic on insulin—currently struggling a bit with blood sugar control—so those leukocytes have me a little worried Saw my primary care doctor yesterday when I picked up the labs, but she didn't mention anything about it... maybe she just missed it?
Bringing this old thread back to life—anyone else dealing with autoimmune flare-ups after pregnancy? For me, my hypothyroidism and diabetes were actually totally chill during my pregnancy, but now? Managing the blood sugar is a whole different beast, even though it’s been almost five years since
I feel like organization and planning aren't really the heart of the matter here—just one piece of the puzzle, maybe?
Personally, I’m a huge fan of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." It hit me at just the right time, honestly. I always want it within arm's reach because it's one of those books you just have to keep revisiting. It isn't just about crushing it at work, either—it covers everything from personal growth to being a better parent and stuff like that.
Anyway, one part of that success involves how he breaks down time management: http://i68.tinypic.com/303k512.jpg
Basically, high achievers spend as much time as possible in Quadrant Two—focusing on things that are important but not necessarily urgent. We're talking about the activities that actually build us up, optimize our potential, and pay off in the long run. Most importantly, they align with our actual mission and vision. I mean, what's the point of being a total machine if we look back and realize we totally missed the mark on what actually matters in life? Why even bother doing what we're doing if there's no purpose behind it?
http://i66.tinypic.com/rwhvdf.jpg
If you're dealing with depression, you've got to look at the root cause—why are we feeling so drained? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate our vision and mission, or figure out if something vital is missing from our lives.
He actually offers his own planner as a way to modernize time management—the whole idea is to find a balance across all the different areas that drive real success.
I find that visualizing how a solid routine boosts my mental health actually helps—and when I’m actually sticking to it, the sense of well-being is real. But when things hit the fan? All bets are off, and I tend to let my whole system just crumble—if you catch my drift.
It feels like most creative types deal with this exact thing... I’d say "us" are basically people with massive potential who constantly end up spinning our wheels.☕
Donna White50 said:We’ve basically thrown two totally opposite theories out there—now I’m actually curious which one hits the mark...?😉 To me, it feels like the mom is just super envious, you know? Like, she sees someone else's failure as her own little win... as if their setback somehow makes her look better. That probably explains why she keeps downplaying her daughter's successes... which, honestly, is likely why the girl started pulling away during her teen years. What we're seeing now seems like the fallout from being rejected by her kid, mixed with a total lack of self-awareness... Guess we'll see how it plays out...
I'm also curious about the response. The theories aren't exactly opposites, though—in psychology, most things eventually boil down to pretty much the same labels anyway.
From what I can tell, she didn't really "reject" her mom (meaning, setting boundaries) until she was older and realized her mother was actively sabotaging her well-being, not back in her teen years.
And maybe that mother *was* envious of that whole "go-getter" attitude—since that's just not how she's wired. It’s possible that view actually runs parallel to my own. That mom could be a total powerhouse in her career or whatever, but that doesn't mean she can't play the victim—if anything, it just makes the whole drama even more complex.
The issue is when you hit that antagonism with a parent (something I'm still digging through myself)—it creates this internalized negative self-image. You end up swallowing the idea that you're somehow flawed or unworthy because Mom "knows best," and she sends that message through subtle non-verbal cues—maybe even verbal ones. There’s gotta be a lot of guilt involved too—like, when I think negatively about my mom, I feel guilty, even though I have to protect myself. And if I accept that Mom is "right," I just end up feeling shame and guilt for not being "good enough" or whatever.
mistydrifter55, maybe "envious" isn't really the right word for your mom she just wasn't as good at handling her family's wins as she was at handling their losses—you know, when she could play the role of the caregiver to the underdog, or ultimately, the martyr it was only when she could step into that part that she’d actually shine, and that’s when you’d feel that trickle of love from her—even if it had some toxic undertones so, basically, you started self-sabotaging as a kid just to trigger her attention and affection you somehow linked those masochistic or self-destructive feelings tied to failure (or sabotaged success) with her love—like they were two sides of the same coin—as if you were "offering" her problems just to buy a little love; you adapted to her expectations (which were centered on struggle) so she could play her part, because without that drama, you weren't getting much of her love because of that, you couldn't even celebrate your own wins; you just felt empty since she never truly celebrated them with you—well, maybe she did, but she didn't know how to show it properly, and you definitely received more from her when you were "down"
now that you guys aren't close, you miss her—you miss that dynamic—and you end up sabotaging yourself in whatever way you can just to feel miserable, conditioned by all that old programming to believe that love will eventually follow the chaos but it doesn't come; you're mostly just giving it to yourself through the adrenaline rush or whatever
but you're sinking deeper into dissatisfaction, and there's less and less joy to go around
curious if I'm on the right track?
every time you sabotaged yourself, you hurt yourself a little, pushed a part of yourself away, and refused to reach your full potential—sacrificing who you are for her sake (that's what kids do) over time, that part of you has grown so strong that it’s going to haunt you destructively until you finally let yourself see and feel it. It’s brutal, but it has to pass through you, and the more you fight it, the worse it gets I’m in therapy myself, but I once got a piece of advice like this from a non-professional on a forum, and it actually works for me; when I let the emotion in, I get restless, trying to catch it with my mind, but it slips away. I feel this discontent that isn't tied to anything happening right now—something I can't quite put into words. If I let it out, it’s like emotional hurricanes and storms; sometimes anxiety hits first, but once the storm passes, there's this massive release of energy—all that energy your subconscious was wasting just trying to keep Pandora’s box shut. Give it a shot; life provides plenty of opportunities
and you know, in a way, that self-destruction is actually your protection against something your brain perceives as a greater evil, I guess and is there any greater evil than losing a mother's love for a child? except you aren't a child anymore; you can survive without her, and you are worthy of love regardless of her—or anyone else's—conscious or unconscious conditions
once you work through this, maybe you'll even give her a chance to be a better mom than she used to be, because you won't be expecting things from her that she simply isn't capable of giving—after all, someone probably poisoned her too, leaving her with these broken mechanisms
Masochism isn't just about physical stuff—though honestly, that's beside the point right now...
Maybe try Googling "inner child" or something. It sounds like yours is acting up, and you really need to learn how to look after her—since, well, you're the only one who can.
Look, you're allowed to feel nostalgic. It doesn't make your decision to move out from your mom back then any less right, nor does it invalidate whatever you decide to do next.
granitegull51, look—logic dictates that if an answer works for you, then it’s right, isn't it? certain jobs look for specific personalities—so if you read the job description, you can basically guess what kind of profile they're hunting for, right?
I ran into one question that felt totally pointless—I mean, all my emotional needs are met as it is. so option a) says they're met—which, yeah, they are. option b) is just... undefined? and option c) says they aren't.
The whole thing felt stupid—too personal, honestly. And besides, how are you even supposed to answer? It's like, do you even realize what you're asking me?🤔
I actually took a test just like this one yesterday—it was labeled as the 16PF so maybe it’s basically identical? Except instead of a scale, it just gave me three options per question The quick version I did online says I'm an ESFJ which, honestly, sounds about right based on the description
Robert Harris16, sounds like you hit some kind of epiphany—a moment of clarity or a meditative breakthrough, maybe? That’s cool and all, but if you want that feeling to actually stick, it’s gotta be a daily habit, not just some one-off thing.
Are you even thinking about trying to fix things? I mean, can a relationship actually survive after a blowout like that?
I mean, those aren't really psychiatric issues—they're just the kind of people you run into every day and have to deal with. But if someone is constantly getting under your skin, messing with your head, or wrecking your peace because they don't know how to set boundaries... well, then maybe the issue is actually yours. You just haven't figured out how to stand your ground or look out for yourself yet, right?
It’s not like they don't have their own stuff going on (and let's be real, we all do, including you), but if everyone acting like that ended up in a clinic, who would be left?
I basically curate my own feed—nothing touches me, really
For instance, I might scroll through Facebook once every few days, but I don't go hunting for news sites (unless I stumble onto something via Facebook), and I definitely don't watch Big Brother. Occasionally, I’ll catch the news on TV or listen to the radio, but that’s about it.
At the end of the day, I don't see how I can influence those global events, so why waste the energy? Most of my time is spent right here on this forum, which I consider time well spent online—the rest is just looking up stuff I'm actually interested in. Basically, I'm the one calling the shots on where I go.
So, you're either actively seeking out that content or you've left the door wide open for it to find you. You mentioned deleting Facebook, which works, though you shouldn't have to delete an entire platform just to make sure it doesn't "own" you.
All this talk about mind manipulation—using music to trigger intense energy or whatever—doesn't exactly scream "spiritual growth" to me. 🤔 It feels more like pure human greed. 🤷
I find myself dwelling on gratitude more often lately—it feels like this inevitable realization that being grateful is just a clear sign of spiritual awareness, you know? Like, it’s the natural state for anyone with a healthy, vital spirit. Honestly, we don't actually need some massive checklist of accomplishments to feel it. That's why I think overemphasizing that gratitude is directed toward someone or something is kind of off. To me, it’s more of an internal thing—almost a state of being.
