Posts by Jacob Long

Wait, which clans are we even talking about here—like actual family stuff, brothers and sisters, or what?

ironrider11, you got a link with more info on this?

So, I just finished this book a therapist recommended—The Wounded Child and Me—written by a theologian and a psychologist working together. It adds a bit of a Christian spiritual angle, sure, but the main takeaway is that if we actually want to heal and feel whole, we have to ditch that childish obsession with being perfect. You know, that "if I'm not flawless, nobody will love me" mindset? We’ve gotta embrace both our light and dark sides. Once you face them, you can actually start growing in the right direction.
Honestly, as an intro to understanding how the psyche works and where all our masks come from? Not bad at all.

Donna White50 said:But what if you love those imperfections enough that they actually drive you to go out and fix them...?

It’s not about loving the flaws—it’s about accepting the whole package. You embrace who you are right now, imperfections and all, because you don't need to be flawless to be worthy of love or just to feel enough.
Since you actually give a damn about yourself, you'll naturally work on the stuff that can be improved.
But things you can't change? Like if someone was born without a leg? You just accept that and love the person as they are.
We all love people despite their baggage, so why wouldn't we extend that same grace to ourselves?

Smokey, how old are you anyway?
What you’re posting is textbook people-pleaser syndrome...
I struggle with it too, but reading your stuff just left me speechless.
You really don't have any personal boundaries.
You're constantly catering to everyone else—sacrificing your own desires, needs, and opinions—like you're losing your sense of self. It makes it impossible to find any direction in life when you can't even bring yourself to put yourself first.
You need to realize this and deal with it, because it's incredibly damaging and unhealthy in the long run.
It usually stems from growing up in homes with alcoholism, depression, or sick family members, where the kid—in this case, you—is forced to carry way more responsibility and caretaking than they can actually handle.
That's just how you were raised.
Work on it.

Accepting yourself—in my book—doesn't mean you just ignore your flaws... or stay stagnant

It basically just means embracing your imperfect self and choosing to love who you are, both now and tomorrow

Accepting who I am means owning all my flaws—those messy, unfinished parts of me that are practically screaming for change—but learning to love myself exactly as I am, incomplete and small as that may feel.
I’ve only just started to wrap my head around this, but I'm finally getting there.

Bryan Barnes2, thanks a ton
So it’s not some huge tragedy—just aging or maybe some arthritis stuff?
Right now, it's just that one knee acting up
Weight isn't even really an issue—he's pretty much middle of the road

And she actually thinks they're going to run all these arthritis tests on her...

Do you know if those tests are pricey? And do specialists usually cover them through insurance?

Is there any way to get ahead of rheumatic issues while we're still young? I'm low-key terrified of them—given my own autoimmune struggles...

Edit: Did a little Googling and it looks like osteoarthritis fits the bill perfectly. It mentioned a knee replacement as an option, too. She hasn't actually seen a specialist yet—her GP just gave her that diagnosis based on an X-ray, which is why we were all so confused

I'm a total wreck right now
Can anyone make sense of my mom's knee X-ray results?

Wide lateral portion of the femorotibial joint space, early osteophytosis on the upper edge of the patella. Prominent eminence intercondilaris

It’s all in block capitals, so I can't tell where one thing ends and the next begins—anyone actually follow this stuff? 🤔
Is this something we should be worried about?

She was given some 5mg Valium and Ibuprofen
And then told to come back in 15 days for more tests... what kind of tests would they even be looking at?

Wait, am I seriously the only student who actually liked school?

In my book, if a kid is genuinely interested in school—showing that kind of drive—it’s a pretty huge deal.

I’m not sure how much pregnancy plays into this—but six months after giving birth and breastfeeding, I tried getting back on Metformin (the sugar pills I really need). After a 15-month break, since they aren't exactly recommended during that time, my body just won't tolerate them anymore. My endocrinologist is dead set on them because they help with weight and ovarian function—which, let's face it, aren't exactly perfect right now—so I’ve stopped taking them. Now? It's just harder to keep my blood sugar steady, especially right before my period...

Frank, you're a good one—but haven't you heard? The old machines are actually the best 😬

My right arm was killing me—turns out I have that thing called "mother wrist" or whatever they call it.
It’s kind of a temporary thing 😬

ironbadger9, any idea if rheumatoid arthritis can be linked to pregnancy? Since it's autoimmune, could it have been simmering under the surface before I even got pregnant?

As for postpartum recovery—honestly, my husband was a total rock. He was cooking almost every day, mostly homemade chicken soup, feeding the baby my expressed milk, doing the laundry, running the dishwasher, ironing baby clothes... he stepped up big time. I was basically sliced open from belly button to pubic bone and bled for over 40 days, but I wasn't about to just lie there playing the invalid. I was pumping day and night while trying to catch some sun on the patio—couldn't really manage a seated position back then. The little one had colic all day long, and we had guests over, but luckily he’s retired now, so he handled most of the heavy lifting. No cooking or appetizers needed; we had plenty of that.
The absolute worst part was when someone would drop by right when the baby was screaming from cramps...

Anyway, he helped immensely. My sisters didn't step up much—one gave birth, another ended up in the hospital, and Mom is constantly running between clinics... she doesn't drive and doesn't have a car.

I was already dealing with chronic issues before pregnancy (Type 1 diabetes and hypothyroidism), and then I hit preeclampsia during the pregnancy. Even though it shouldn't have stuck, my blood pressure stayed high and I'm still on meds for it today—a second pregnancy would be way riskier than the first. Plus, in these last two years, I haven't quite managed to get my glucose levels back to where they were. I don't know if that's strictly a medical issue or if I just can't find the headspace to prioritize myself anymore—my condition demands a lot of time. There have been countless times I wanted to dose insulin but the baby was fussing, so I missed it, only to realize later how late it was—especially with those 24-hour long-acting doses. Between the 101 midnight wakeups and the baby wanting only me, I'd sometimes pass out mid-feed and miss my basal insulin, only to wake up at dawn when dosing makes no sense. Once the baby gets older, I'm getting better at managing the chaos.

Physically, I felt completely unraveled at first. But now that the baby is two, despite being a few extra pounds heavier, I actually feel limber and quick again. It's a mix of the kid and work—I haven't really found my rhythm yet—but when she first started crawling, getting up off the floor was brutal. It sorted itself out eventually, though. Some of my bones and joints still ache, but mine is likely kidney-related. Still, secretly, I worry about rheumatoid arthritis—those autoimmune "besties" love to show up in groups, so since I've only got one, I guess I should just hold onto it and be glad I made it through.

I feel like people make such a massive deal out of everything these days—including starting school

from preschool all the way through high school 🙄

Every kid is their own person—some struggle academically, others physically, some emotionally—but if they land somewhere near the middle, fine. They’ll always be slightly different from their peers, sure, but everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I don't see why that should be a reason to delay enrollment 🤷

Look, I'm hardly an expert here, but that's just my take on all these enrollment threads I've been reading

And the curriculum? It's like nothing changed since we were kids... except for the reading lists. Good grief, I honestly don't even know

Personally, I was one of those kids who barely studied at home (until high school)—I was loud in class but still pulled straight A's. I actually couldn't wait for summer break to end just so I could get back to school; I'd spend my summers teaching myself Spanish, repeating lessons just to impress my teacher, who was always a little hesitant to give me that final A at the end of the year 🤣🤣 while in high school, I'd host study sessions for half the class at my place just so we wouldn't have to pay for private tutors 🤣

I grew up in a small town, so this whole idea that a kid should only be in school for half the day—whether they're 6 or 7—just doesn't compute for me. Honestly, I don't think either age group is ready to just sit around the house all afternoon 🤷 where I live, for instance, that’s pretty much unheard of

Around here, teachers working with those first graders in the full-day programs are legally required to hand them off to an adult at dismissal—they aren't just letting them wander out alone, obviously. Like my little neighbor, he heads straight to daycare after school and his parents grab him on their way home from work, though some families rely on grandparents instead

Now, if a child is hyperactive—you know, has diagnosed ADHD or focus issues—or if they’re lagging behind in speech development, those aren't just excuses to skip the full school day. But that’s stuff a specialist will catch; I'm not talking about the initial admissions interview, but an actual professional who monitors their progress and can properly evaluate if the kid can actually handle the curriculum

Besides, if a 6-year-old can't sit still for long periods right now, that doesn't mean they won't be able to in six months. Kids grow—they evolve—and when they're encouraged, they learn how to handle new boundaries

Some of the reasons moms give, like "he's not emotionally mature enough," just sound a bit overprotective to me... it's hard to pin down what that even means. I mean, I haven't exactly reached "emotional maturity" for my age yet either🤣 some people are just wired that way🤷

Down in Canada, they start things up earlier since it's just for nine-year-olds—but don't expect that old-school first grade vibe you see in the States now. It’s more like an advanced preschool where they sit on the floor, watch TV, and play games for just a few hours. Honestly, for most parents, the whole drop-off and pick-up routine is such a hassle, but hey, I guess it's better for the kids, right? 🤷

If the experts say they're ready, I’m leaning toward their side...

To us, they always seem like babies—but maybe you just have to let them grow up? You gotta ask yourself if this is just another way you'll end up holding them back from being independent.

Over in Canada, kids start ninth grade even earlier and turn out just fine—I'm pretty sure things move fast in the States too.

So, does anyone actually know what causes those hives?

I just popped one up on my back—it’s driving me absolutely crazy with the itching. 🙂

So some lady I’ve never even met before walks up to me yesterday with this massive grin—probably thinking she just dropped some profound wisdom—and says, "I hope you have a son!"

I was literally carrying my baby girl and just lost it laughing... I mean, I've heard some weird stuff, but nothing quite this clueless

Like, sure, people say things when you're having a girl, as if it’s some big deal or something

But honestly? I've never actually run into someone being this ridiculous

🤷

So, a gynecologist told my friend: "Look, I’m a doctor, but I’m not *your* personal doctor" 🤣

Honestly, she's been dealing with so much lately—calling him constantly—so he just threw that out there to crack a joke... kind of a dry one, too

As for people touching my stomach? Yeah, if it's someone I actually care about, sure. But if they're already creepy or just gross? No thanks