Samuel Ross60, I’m glad you checked in when you did so we could all weigh in with some advice. Shirley gave you a pretty solid breakdown of the situation; if I were you, I’d probably just take her word for it.
Samuel Ross60 said:I could use some perspective here: I’ve been entertaining this somewhat radical notion where I don't have my baby sleeping in the same bed as me, and instead, we move the crib into a separate nursery once they hit the two-month mark. We would, of course, rely on a high-quality baby monitor.
Is this kind of thinking a sign that I’m fundamentally unfit for motherhood? Or should I just be looking into adoption instead?
A very anxious mother-to-be
~~~ Penso positivo ~~~
You should just quit! If you're even considering a separate room for the baby, you clearly aren't cut out to be a mother!!!!
dustymaker642 said:You know, I really can't stand those women who seem to have this "supermom" complex, where they try to guilt-trip perfectly normal moms with these wild arguments—moms who clearly love their kids, even if they don't intend to breastfeed them until high school or sleep in the same bed until they head off to college.🙂
Look, if we don't establish some healthy boundaries, what we think of as an act of love and care can easily spiral into obsessive behavior that ends up being pretty damaging for both the parent and the child.
I'm not trying to go to the other extreme here by saying that extended breastfeeding or co-sleeping is a perfect foundation for a pathological relationship between a mother and her child—in fact, it can be—but I truly believe the key is finding a middle ground and not judging the women whose version of "middle ground" just doesn't look exactly like ours.😉
Oh, please! I'll be breastfeeding my son until he graduates college, and then I'll just pump so he has something nice to have with his morning coffee. God forbid there's any formula or additives involved, gross!!!
Samuel Ross60 said:And what if the baby and my two dogs all sleep in the bed together? I mean, the dogs already sleep in here with us, so how am I supposed to explain that to the baby? And more importantly, how am I supposed to explain to the dogs that they aren't allowed in the bed anymore!?
~~~Thinking positively~~~
How on earth are you planning to manage both dogs and a baby?! 🙏kandal:
Jesse Johnson15 said:Look, I hear my kid wake up, and I'm right there in front of them within two seconds. If you want to go around thinking you're somehow a "better" mother just because you insist on sleeping in the same room, fine, believe what you want. But please, don't try to lecture me or tell me how to parent when you don't even have kids of your own. Those arguments are just totally nonsensical. Seriously, you're lucky I'm not coming over there to give you a piece of my mind. ☕
👍 I'm signing off on this
Richard Morris43 said:It’s just women, isn't it? I mean, look, I can see that your imagination is clearly your strongest suit, since you apparently can't conceive of sex happening anywhere other than a marriage bed 🙏. My kid sleeps like a rock, so wherever I put them, they stay out, period. Honestly, the whole separation thing was a piece of cake, even though we were already basically sharing a bed anyway—him with us or in the crib, whatever. And really, who's to blame for teaching your kids that total dead silence is the only way to sleep? 😁
You know what? Just stop it. I’m trying to be polite here, but seriously, give it a rest. Don't try to pass off your personal opinions as the standard for motherhood when you clearly haven't a clue.
Richard Morris43 said:and honestly, what am I supposed to do if you guys are all just walking around with some massive inferiority complex regarding Motherhood 🥳
Again, just stop. People invented the bathroom for a reason to avoid saying things like that! ☕
Hannah Lewis2 said:What would those self-righteous saints say to a mom who leaves her nursing baby tucked away with a sitter just to hit up a concert with her husband? ☕ Pure scandal! I didn't even look at the kid for two whole hours. 🙂
🙏Scandal, indeed: maybe Child Protective Services will come knocking on your door, you "non-mother"!
Elizabeth Baker4 said:What gets under my skin more than anything else is how, the second people find out I'm pregnant, they immediately hit me with this one question: "So, when's the wedding?" Because obviously, getting engaged is just the standard next step on the checklist right after seeing those two lines on a pregnancy test, right? Just common sense... 🙂
Well, you technically have to, don't you? And you need to pick out godparents so they have an excuse to buy the kid big-ticket items, like a high-end stroller or a fancy car seat. People kept badgering me about it for so long that I finally snapped. I told them if I heard one more word about a christening, I simply wouldn't bother having the baby baptized at all. Since then, the questions have stopped, and the baby still hasn't been baptized.☕
blueraven4 said:Of course it bothers you! 😉 Ask him how he’d handle having so many restrictions for nine months straight. I once asked my husband to try giving up beer alone for nine months just to see how he'd do 🤣 Let alone cutting out certain foods, skipping workouts, avoiding all alcohol, and constant doctor appointments... yeah, right.
Talk it out with him and come up with a game plan. My guy was constantly making me donuts because I had cravings early on 😍 He's super sweet and tries to give me everything I want, but if he keeps that up, I'm going to turn into a total couch potato 🤣 So we made a deal—no heavy dinners, just fruit, and letting me have lighter lunches instead. He even cut back on sweets and stopped bringing beer home to help me out. It makes things way easier now since there's only healthy stuff in my fridge. Now he just brings me organic fruit and veggies 🤣
Mine doesn't cook or bake at all, so he isn't really able to cater to my cravings. 🤣 He took me to McDonald's yesterday, and now I’m officially done with him for the next six months. 😬 The scale at the gym showed that my weight hasn't been creeping up, so I gave myself the green light to indulge.
It kind of reminds me of the weight I put on during my first pregnancy, but honestly, when my hormones are acting up like this, even the smallest things can get under my skin. 😬
I'm currently navigating my second pregnancy, so I really don't have the patience for baseless advice or myths. That said, my husband tends to make comments whenever I reach for certain foods; he’s still dwelling on the fact that I gained 21 pounds during my first pregnancy. It isn't that I actually *want* to see the scale climb that much again, but his constant nitpicking is getting old. Honestly, all he does is remind me of a situation I'd rather just move past.
Ashley Price57 said:I’m honestly so frustrated with myself. My parents help me out so much—honestly, I don't know if I could even make ends meet in my current situation without them—yet I still find myself snapping at them for absolutely no reason. The second I lose my temper, I suddenly feel like I'm the smartest person in the room and everyone else is just an idiot, so I start lecturing them. Then, once I calm down a day or two later and realize how ridiculous I was being, the guilt hits me hard, usually when it's already too late to take it back. They always just look at me with so much love and tell me they only want what's best for me. I love them so much, which makes it even worse when I act this way. I really hope I can move past this soon. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to keep my cool in those moments. Ugh...
Here's a little consolation your hormones will eventually level out, or at least get somewhat steady, about a month and a half after giving birth it took me until just now to finally feel like myself again
So, I was at the clinic yesterday seeing my doctor After finishing up the fetal monitoring, I went to step on the scale and get my blood pressure checked. The nurse told me that as soon as the woman ahead of me finished her appointment, I’d be next. And I was the only pregnant woman there. Just me. So, I’m sitting there waiting—my husband was outside having a smoke—when this lady finishes up and just bolts into the office with such sudden intensity that it actually caught me off guard. I mean, sure, she was closer to the door, but honestly, I didn't even have time to shift an inch before she had practically sprinted past me into the doctor's room. I just sat there looking kind of 😕 When she finally came out, I started to get up and head toward the doctor's door, only to see her clutching her prenatal records, grinning like an idiot and acting all precious about it, like, "Oh, I'm just so happy to be pregnant!" Give me a break, you rude woman. 😠 I don't care how happy you are; I've been dealing with this longer than you, so I should have had priority.
They ate my cookies!!! 🙂 I baked a batch this past Saturday, and I brought a few over to my mom's yesterday. There were maybe two or three left, and I’ve been looking forward to finally sitting down and enjoying them myself, but they're gone. Just completely vanished. 🙂 I guess now I have no choice but to eat ice cream instead. 😢
It just bugs me because I feel like I delivered right on schedule (almost two weeks ago) just to dodge all this bullshit. Only after the baby was out did the swelling, rapid weight gain, and tearing start happening. 😢
God forbid things get any worse. 😢
I didn't even make it to my due date before the stretch marks started appearing and I began putting on weight thankfully, my legs go back to normal after a night of rest 🙏
Honestly, that song is just incredibly childish. I have no idea how anyone can get all hyped up listening to it; to me, it’s just 🙂 . But then again, that band pretty much puts every single track into the exact same mold, so you haven't really missed out if you haven't heard it . Actually, it might be better that you haven't, just so you don't end up with that melody stuck in your head and find yourself humming it involuntarily—which happens to me all the time 🙄 . It isn't even this specific song, though; it's that one called "Jewelry" by Rozga. My husband (for reasons I still can't quite wrap my head around🙄) absolutely loves it, so he basically tortures my ears with it 🙂 .
I can’t say I’ve ever actually been asked to go ahead of the line before😢 I mean, when I’m just popping into the local corner store out here in the sticks, there’s usually nobody around, so I’m in and out in no time but whenever I find myself at those massive big-box retailers, nobody ever lets me cut maybe it’s because I’m never really on my own; I’m almost always with my mom or my husband, I guess
It honestly caught me off guard when my husband’s cousin—who had her son about two years ago—mentioned how incredibly happy she was to finally have a boy, especially since she didn't even know the gender during the pregnancy. She made it sound like such a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders I couldn't help but be a bit stunned by it, though. It’s strange to see someone who is a woman lean so heavily into that kind of chauvinistic mindset
placidwalker6 said:God, people and their incredibly stupid comments drive me absolutely insane 😠 I’m just sitting here in the dentist's waiting room when this old guy asks me how much longer I've got left. I give him a little "get lost" grin and tell him I've still got 25 days to go, and he just hits me with, "Well, as long as it's healthy, unlike those two babies back in Washington, D.C. the other day." 😲 😲 😲 What the ??? Like, seriously???? You absolute moron, you complete idiot!!!!!!!! 🙂 If you don't have anything remotely intelligent to contribute to the conversation, then you really don't need to be dumping your depressing little takes on me 🙂
Which babies? 😕 I honestly have no clue
Honestly, people can be so incredibly rude
I was actually just talking to my husband yesterday about how I don't get why some people still act like being female is somehow less valuable—as if having a boy makes any difference 😕 In what way would my son be more precious than my daughter??? 😕 Just because he's male??? And who is going to give him children? Someone else's daughter, who will probably end up hearing the exact same thing: "Oh, well, hopefully it's a boy next time!" But she'll be fine if she gives birth to a son, right?
I guess these kinds of mindsets just really grate on me. Without women, there wouldn't even be men, so I truly don't see how women could ever be considered "lesser" We should be treated with such care, especially when we're pregnant—especially now, given how many women deal with infertility and all the complications that require extra caution during pregnancy.
Look, I'm not saying I love being pregnant, but I am grateful that I can carry my baby naturally without facing any major hurdles. But clearly, even that seems to be taken for granted in our society.
I suppose it’s my turn to share something that caught me off guard.
To be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit lightheaded—or maybe just incredibly weak—while standing up. It seems she prefers it when I stay upright, but it’s definitely not doing much for me.🙄 Yesterday, I happened to glance out the window and saw my husband chatting with some woman over the fence. She probably lives around here in our small town, though I haven't met her before. She was attractive, and in that first split second when I spotted them, I felt this sudden, sharp pang of jealousy. It was enough to make the little one kick—and quite hard, too.
I think they were just talking about work; I could have overheard the details in a moment if I had tried. But that initial flash... I was just jealous. It was intense enough that even the baby started acting up in my womb.
I wouldn't call myself a jealous person, normally. I really don't know what came over me yesterday.
Steven Barrett6 said:Man, I feel that. I want my little angel here yesterday. 😍 But... let's be real, rushing things isn't exactly great for the baby. They need to develop properly and actually have lungs that work (currently at 32 weeks). If everything looks good at my checkup next week, I'm getting back out there for those walks.
Once I hit week 35 or 36, if I'm still dilating? I don't care. 😍 I'll be hopping around, taking the stairs, doing whatever it takes... just get my angel here already!
Nothing seems to be moving on my end yet. 🤷 I guess I'll find out this Tuesday when I head in for my appointment. If they tell me I've started dilating or if the fetal monitor shows some good contractions, I'll be over the moon. 🤣🤣 But then again, by then I'll be 38 weeks along, so I suppose it wouldn't be much of a surprise if things finally kicked into gear. 😉
wanderinghawk said:It’s also incredibly aggravating having to run to the restroom constantly. Now that the baby is dropping, I can’t even go for a decent walk without worrying if there's a bathroom nearby. 🤣
Then, some random old lady stops me at the grocery store and asks what I'm carrying. I tell her it's my daughter, and she just stares at me and goes, "Oh, well, so what?" Honestly, I had to fight every urge not to deck her right there in the aisle. ☕
Last week, I heard someone say to me—it was actually a colleague of my sister-in-law's—"Well, just have a boy next time."🙄 It was the first time I'd ever heard someone say something like that, so I didn't really react in the moment. But after comments like that, you start feeling kind of worthless. You're a woman, too, and when you hear that level of disappointment from another *woman* just because you're having a girl... It's like they don't realize they were once little girls themselves. You'd think they might take a second to reflect on whether they'd want people talking about them that way back in the day.
It honestly gets under my skin seeing some of you having to stay completely immobile because you’ve started opening up early. For me, I feel like I could go for a mile-long walk and still not have any issues with opening up prematurely.
I realize it isn't exactly comfortable to start opening up before you're ready, but I suppose I’m just being selfish—I’d really prefer to get the baby here as soon as possible.