Posts by rustyfalcon52

She’s my absolute favorite😁
She just missed out on bronze, xexex😉😬

At first, I think anyone would feel a bit stung by taking silver when gold was right there within reach. The same goes for bronze and silver. But looking back after some time, you realize how much to be happy about either one. Generally speaking, if you're in second or third place, you still have a clear goal to chase... whereas being number one means everyone is gunning for your spot. The competition is just relentless when you're at the top.

rustymaker5 said:Maybe it’s like those Hollywood movies where you can just call them up at 3:30 in the morning and they’ll drive halfway across the state just because you're having a breakdown; or maybe you snap at them and tell them to get lost, but they just sense you're in a bad mood and give you your space without making a scene; or you find some incredible designer vintage piece while traveling abroad and you immediately want to borrow it, then you end up ruining it with a cigarette burn, but instead of blowing up, they just shrug it off and lend you something even more rare and expensive that they haven't even worn yet; they know every single one of your darkest secrets and guard them like the FBI; they’ve always got your back, and if they have to criticize you, they do it patiently and strictly behind closed doors; when you lash out, they know you don't actually mean it, so they're always ready to answer when you call again; they're willing to drop everything and be there for you even if it completely wrecks their own weekend plans......🤷...in the movies, that kind of stuff seems amazing, but I've honestly never met anyone like that in real life... and let's be honest, I'm probably not that kind of person either, at least not for the long haul...🙄

That sounds completely unrealistic.😁

I think those "best friends" in movies are a bit much. Maybe it's because I'm more of a "figure it out yourself" type rather than someone who calls a friend at 2:00 AM. I usually just end up burying my face in a pillow and dealing with it alone.

A "friend" who drops everything the second you call and puts their whole life on hold for you... that's just how you spoil someone. If I had a friend like that, I’d be the first one to tell them to "get a life."

I feel like we first need to actually define what "best friend" even means... what does that even entail?

As soon as someone adds me on social media, they're a friend. I don't really see the point in all these extra labels like "best friend."

Angela Morris said:I am unsure if I have created an idealized version of myself. The only ideal I strive for is simply being who I am. I do not force myself into situations that do not suit me, I do not lie, I remain honest, and I am not easily swayed... For instance, I will always do what I believe is right rather than conforming just to be accepted by the crowd... if you know what I mean. I endeavor to be honest with myself, rather than deceiving myself into believing I am someone I am not.

Be true to yourself; that is your whole existence. (Mark Twain)

I think the first step is defining what you actually want and then moving toward it. There isn't much point in getting lost in endless philosophy or overthinking fate. In my experience, the more you overanalyze, the worse you feel.
It is helpful to understand *why* you feel, say, sad—knowing the root cause matters. But that "why" should only serve as a tool for resolution or acceptance so you can move forward. You shouldn't just identify the reason and then dwell on it for three long years.

To build on the idea that "psychology books are usually nonsense"—you aren't going to find a magic solution in a book; you find it within yourself. A book might help open your eyes or offer a new perspective, but ultimately, you have to digest that information, translate it into your own language, and then apply it to your life.

For example, a book might say, "be satisfied with yourself." But what does that actually look like in practice? It might mean starting by listing things you are proud of (like, I'm a great cook, I passed those two exams recently, I saved enough money to enroll in a language course, I'm good at my tech work, I meet deadlines at the office, or I have people I can call anytime to check in...). When those low moods start creeping in, you can remind yourself of those facts.

From there, you can always tell yourself: "I am a good person, but..." And while there will always be a "but," that shouldn't be the center of your universe.

Angela Morris said:This is not an isolated occurrence. Ever since I began studying psychology as a young girl around age twelve or thirteen, consuming books in an attempt to improve myself... I find myself once again losing the will to live. Besides, life lacks inherent meaning...

Is it possible you've spent years constructing this idealized version of who you "should" be, rather than accepting who you actually are? Popular psychology books tend to oversimplify things... once you grasp the actual foundations and see where those "easy" fixes fall short, the whole thing starts to look a bit absurd and strangely written.

Life only holds as much meaning as you decide to give it.

As for that lingering melancholy—I went through a similar stretch for about four years. For me, the sense of purpose was always there, even if others couldn't see it through my eyes. I swung between deep sadness and bursts of joy, fluctuating constantly... until eventually, slowly, I began to see the world through a clearer lens. It wasn't overnight, but I learned to accept myself first, and then everyone else. Even though I never cared much for outside opinions back then, I make sure to speak my mind clearly now. I still work hard on many things, not because I consider myself particularly patient or tolerant, but because I find peace in looking back and seeing how everything unfolded. Sorry, I drifted a bit off-topic...

Hang in there.

Robert Murphy8 said:I can honestly say I try to be a decent human being. I make an effort to stay respectful, polite, and kind in my interactions, genuinely trying to work well with others. But no matter where I go—and especially in the corporate world—it’s the same old story. Constant undermining, people trashing my hard work, and backstabbing. I always end up carrying the weight of their nonsense on my own shoulders. As a person of faith, I could never dream of pulling a stunt like that on anyone. I know I’m capable. I’m smart, I give everything I have to my job and to the people around me, yet it feels like absolutely nobody respects that. It’s even worse when they mock me for being transparent or for actually caring about projects that have some actual heart in them. Then I look at these "successful" types and I just don't get it. What makes them so much better or sharper than me? They get the accolades while I’m just left waiting for them to label me as the villain, because apparently, that’s the only role they think I’m fit for.

It probably comes down to the fact that they know exactly when it's time to stand their ground.

Matthew Booth16 said:I mean, I don't really see anyone outside of school... though I probably could if I tried.

Could you, or would you actually want to?

Is anyone asking how you're doing? ... Well, they are now. This is your chance.😉 😁

For instance, take me...
How am I? Honestly, I'm in great spirits today. My loan just got approved, so I'm heading out to look at some appliances. And since I'm getting a new stove, I get a whole new kitchen, xexex😬. It brings me one step closer to moving into the new place... and I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about it!🙂

Now, what about you? How are things?
(Don't overthink it—just say whatever comes to mind first. And please, try to give me a little more than just "I'm fine.")

Matthew Booth16 said:So, how am I supposed to actually get close to someone I'm really feeling...

Why didn't you just mention right away that there's a specific person you want to befriend?😁

Do you see this person every day or just once in a while? Are you already acquainted, or are you still looking for an opening to introduce yourself?

Matthew Booth16 said:

DON'T LISTEN TO MUSIC!!!
but then what moves your soul besides just chasing order and discipline...

Silence.

I knew this guy back in high school who's been stuck in a heavy depression for years now...
because he realized there's no passion, nothing to actually pull him out of his routine and into that easy, free way of living, he finally saw how spiritually empty he really was!

That's exactly what scares me.
But what about this? Mt 5:3: "Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!"

Math 😬
Uhh, there aren't exactly many people like me around...

Just lean into what you're good at, and in ten years, you'll be glad you were this serious, smart little weirdo.

Yeah, but then what?

While you're grinding away at some research institute, your "funny" friends will all be hitting up bars, saying "come on, just one more drink."

Sure, but I'll be living alone, just me and myself, being my own best friend while they all have someone else by their side.
And honestly, what do I need all that extra cash for anyway?

None of those social circles or busy activities are gonna kill your creativity.

I don't know... I don't really have much time...😢
And when the holidays roll around, I feel even more isolated because I don't see anyone from school. Day after day goes by... I'm losing time so fast and in such huge amounts that I don't even realize it's happening. Last summer break just slipped right through my fingers... two and a half months, zero friends, and all that time spent on absolutely nothing... 😲

And I don't even like myself much because of it...
There are people I like, and there are people who like me, but they push me away because they probably think I'm not interested in them since I'm so quiet and withdrawn.

You've managed to sum everything up perfectly in just a few sentences.
... I suppose that's what they think.Why didn't you give them a chance to change their minds? It’s always easiest to just start a conversation with a simple, "Hey, how are you doing?" If someone asks how you are, don't just say, "I'm fine," and leave it at that. That effectively ends the conversation before it even begins.
I’m doing well, thanks. Have you heard of any good math study groups lately, or perhaps a solid textbook recommendation? Also, have you seen that one movie...? Sorry, I feel like I'm just rambling now.

Aside from mathematics, what else captures your interest? What kind of topics do you enjoy reflecting on?

Matthew Booth16 said:I’ve got a bit of a situation here.

I’m heading into my sophomore year of high school. My grades are pretty much straight A's because I spend most of my time hitting the books. In class, I don't really talk—I just sit there and soak everything up, which probably makes me look a little weird to everyone else. People tell me I’m super smart, but I’m definitely not the social type. I don't say much, and when I do, I keep it short and sweet. Sometimes I feel like people just tune me out when I'm around. Honestly, I don't have any real friends yet—you know, people I actually hang out with who aren't family. I don't really go out because I don't have a crew to go with, and I'm not into drinking 🙂 either. I don't even listen to music. I'm constantly trying to level up and be the best version of myself—basically aiming for perfection—but lately, I feel like I'm just becoming this monotone, boring person. Outside of school, I almost never hang out with people my age. It makes me feel like I'm unapproachable... and honestly, just lonely. I really want to talk more... but what am I supposed to talk about? How do you even start a conversation? How do I find a real friend or actually connect with someone?
Everyone calls me a weirdo. To be honest, it doesn't bother me that they call me that, it bothers me because it feels true. Everyone wonders why I'm so quiet... but what is there to say? I stay silent because I feel like I have nothing to contribute. How do you learn to be funny? Is being witty something you're born with, or can you actually practice it? And how do you become someone people actually want to be around?
What should I do? Where do I even start? I just want to change everything right now...

Help me out!

- do you think listening to music would help?

Friendship happens gradually. You meet various people and attempt to hang out with them, but not everyone becomes a close friend. Some remain mere acquaintances, some become casual friends, and only a rare few become true friends. You have to put in some effort, but the other person has to meet you halfway too.
It isn't a matter of picking someone out of a crowd and deciding, "Okay, this person is going to be my friend."

Are you part of any clubs? What are your main interests? For example, astronomy.
Try joining a club where you can find like-minded people. It will be much easier to talk to them since you'll already share a passion for the same topic.

And the second one happens to be married, too...

I think I still have quite a bit to learn when it comes to projective techniques; I definitely need some long-term training. For instance, mastering the Rorschach tests would require about three years of specialized education in Switzerland.

And what makes you so curious about that?

Prices vary quite a bit depending on what specifically you're looking for. There really isn't such a thing as an average price.

wanderingcrane97 said:Thanks for the heads-up. I guess I'm wondering if you need some kind of specialized training to actually make sense of these personality test results? And honestly, how accurate are they even supposed to be?

It really depends on what you're looking for. Any trained psychologist knows which tools to use and how to properly interpret the data, so yes, specialized expertise is definitely necessary.

wearyowl29 said:Wait a second! Isn't a serial killer defined by someone who deliberately—meaning with specific intent—plans murders based on their own twisted criteria? You know, that whole "these specific types of people deserve to die" mindset, all without any immediate material gain involved...

So, a serial killer isn't just some guy walking out of a Chase Bank with a massive bag of cash and taking out three pedestrians on his way out... but is a guy picking up hitchhikers on a lonely stretch of highway just to kill them considered one? Because I think we need to be more precise here!

Exactly... it seems we're on the same page here.👍

I'll check back in later; I have to head out to a job site.

Sean Hernandez5 I agree we need to dive deeper into this, but... (it feels a bit like a wild goose chase😉)

For instance, how would you define someone who constantly evades the long arm of the law while manipulating anyone they encounter along the way? Does that automatically make them a serial killer?
In my view, no—even if they have committed several murders where the victims simply happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I have to admit, I might be missing something here, but I’m struggling to follow your logic. On one hand, you mention that serial killers are such rare outliers that they get so much attention, but then you suggest we don't actually know their true numbers—which implies there could be many more out there. (And if that's the case, they aren't exactly rare anymore, are they?🙄 )

It's fascinating, though I have to admit it feels equally unsettling and concerning 😳

I suspect that for a serial killer, everything follows a specific ritual. They stalk, they plan, and then they strike.

I agree with you, wearyowl29, that this isn't just some random act. In this whole scenario, the only thing that might be random is the victim—someone who fits certain criteria, like choosing one person over another simply because of a specific trait.

Sean Hernandez5 said:I think we really need to establish a clear definition for what constitutes a serial killer first.
How many victims does someone actually need to claim that title?

To me, it just feels like a trendy label used for anyone committing multiple similar crimes.
So, theoretically, if someone kills two people with some time in between, they’re already a serial killer, right?
If that's the case, there are way too many of them. Most of the examples mentioned here seem to fall outside that typical pattern (🤣) which is why they're actually interesting.
We also have to keep in mind that the recidivism rate in the USA is around 80%—though I don't know how many of those are specifically murderers.
The point is, there are probably more serial killers than people realize. The idea that they're all just monsters hunting specific groups of people is mostly a creation of crime novelists, and I don't think it reflects reality very well.

🙂

A serial killer is generally defined as someone who kills three or more people over a certain timeframe, with distinct "cooling-off" periods in between. Their victims often share common traits, such as age or race.
We could certainly go even deeper into the technical definitions.

Sean Hernandez5 said:I think we really need to establish a clear definition for what constitutes a serial killer first.
How many victims does someone actually need to claim that title?

To me, it just feels like a trendy label used for anyone committing multiple similar crimes.
So, theoretically, if someone kills two people with some time in between, they’re already a serial killer, right?
If that's the case, there are way too many of them. Most of the examples mentioned here seem to fall outside that typical pattern (🤣) which is why they're actually interesting.
We also have to keep in mind that the recidivism rate in the USA is around 80%—though I don't know how many of those are specifically murderers.
The point is, there are probably more serial killers than people realize. The idea that they're all just monsters hunting specific groups of people is mostly a creation of crime novelists, and I don't think it reflects reality very well.

🙂

I think you might have mixed those two points up... the connection to sex workers is just one possible reason why women are more frequently targeted.

In the USA, female serial killers account for "only" 8% of all serial killers, yet American women make up a staggering 76% of all female serial killers worldwide.

I find that statistic quite intriguing. It might be something rooted in the culture,😎 though I suppose we’ve always suspected that. It seems to me that Americans can be a rather imaginative people when it comes to expressing aggression.

Whether they are men or women, serial killers tend to suffer from a distorted worldview and a tendency toward overgeneralization. As for what drives that warped perception, the causes could be anything... genetics? Upbringing? Trauma?