Posts by crimsongull20

Jason Ortiz5 said:She wasn't actually bragging about herself, though. We actually heard it from the other parents first, and it wasn't even a compliment. 🙂 Knowing how those families operate, we just figured they’d be right up our alley.

My little one is four and a half, and I'm already dreading her first teacher. It’s such a critical role in a kid's life. Mine was incredible. I'll never forget her, and I'm still grateful today. During every long break, she’d stay behind in the classroom with me just so I could finish my sandwich. She’d also bring me reading passages and assignments to work on while the rest of the class was just learning their ABCs. She did all of this on her own—nobody asked her to, and nobody gave her any credit for it.

I wonder if teachers like that even exist anymore...

Jason Ortiz5 said:Not extreme at all—I didn't even bring it up. I’m really not one to go looking for trouble unless there’s a serious reason to. We haven't even officially withdrawn her from the school registry yet, and the little one tells me she hasn't even heard anything about that specific activity. As for the idea that she was given a passing PE grade just because she's scared of how my parents or I might react? That doesn't fly with me. I told the teacher point-blank that grades only matter to me if they’re actually backed by performance. Honestly, I even told her directly that I don't care about the PE grade as long as it's a pass. In my book, PE should be a bigger part of the curriculum, but I don't see the point in grading it, and I'm certainly not going to stress out over it.

On top of all that, our teacher definitely doesn't come across as some poor, terrified woman. If anything, she loves bragging about how tough, ruthless, and demanding she is... that’s just her whole vibe. That’s actually why we wanted her in our daughter's class in the first place! But then, out of nowhere... 🤷

If you get a choice next time, just skip the ones who spend all their time bragging about themselves.

Thomas Barrett84 said:Oh, brilliant. 👏
Maybe take a breath before you confidently claim that kids without dyslexia—or any other learning difference—always, immediately, and perfectly catch and correct their own mistakes right under a teacher's nose.

I remember plenty of times standing up at the chalkboard, totally freezing, and blabbing something stupid I’d never normally say. Or accidentally writing a 3 instead of an 8 and reading it as an 8.

And as for this whole "implying she insults kids over sports" thing... 🤦

I remember too. That's why I never volunteer to speak in front of a crowd.

wanderingbadger44 said:Exactly this. This is the heart of the issue.

In return for treating educators with such little regard, these parents expect that very same teacher—whom they don't respect at all—to act as a surrogate parent, a therapist, a mentor, and a guardian who perfectly nurtures and watches over their child. Most importantly, they expect the teacher to love them unconditionally, as if that's just part of the job description we pay for.

Now, look at youth sports! 👋 Coaches are treated like absolute gods. When a coach disciplines an entire soccer team because one player missed a drill or spoke out of turn, you'll see the parents on the sidelines nodding along, thinking, "That's right, we need discipline!" But those same parents will be the first ones calling the school board, the local news, or filing formal complaints if a teacher gives the whole class extra homework just because a few kids were being disruptive. They can't stand it when their own kid gets caught in the crossfire of collective discipline; they want someone else to take the fall.

And since they're paying the registration fees for those sports, it makes sense—they see the coach as a service provider they've hired, so they show respect accordingly. 😁

Why does it bother you so much? I honestly couldn't care less what a parent thinks of me. As long as the student is getting what they need from my lessons, I'm good. Parents can be incredibly exhausting, sure, but between weekly updates and an occasional email or call, it’s manageable. If you get stuck with a nightmare class, you might spend some time in the principal's office, but it's such a small fraction of the job that I think I could probably endure even Hitler in that amount of time without losing my mind...

wanderingbadger44 said:No, I never had those kinds of expectations.

People used to talk about respect. 😉

If you really want to look at it, the prestige, influence, and actual "authority" a teacher holds were incomparably higher back when I was first considering this career path, even if the sheer workload and endless list of responsibilities were significantly lighter. As you pointed out, money isn't everything. 😉

If you work in this field, you know that a teacher—especially in an American elementary school where attendance is mandatory and parents can be incredibly sensitive, often preferring to insult a young colleague rather than admit their own child has dyslexia—has absolutely zero tools to actually discipline students. Your only recourse is filing paperwork and reports.

In high school, at least a disruptive student might get suspended. In elementary school, you're essentially just a babysitter. Period. That wasn't my goal. Besides, daycare workers in the US make much higher salaries than we do. I’m just saying that if they’ve reduced my role to that level, they should pay me accordingly. I’m flexible; I’d make an excellent sitter. 😉

Look: in high school, a student who skips can be suspended from exams, but that’s mostly theoretical. In the school where I’ve worked for over ten years, nobody has ever been suspended for absences, even with triple-digit unexcused skips. So don't go imagining you have that kind of leverage.

I see how much the lack of discipline frustrates you, and I get it, but the primary tools for classroom management have to come from within you, along with a healthy dose of tolerance, before you even look at the rulebook. If you lack that, it’s an uphill battle. I know plenty of colleagues in elementary schools who don't share your attitude, nor do they think being underpaid justifies withholding basic education from kids.

If I were thinking like you, I'd quit immediately. That amount of sarcasm regarding lost prestige, status, and pay clearly shows you're deeply unhappy with where you are, despite trying to play it off with those lighthearted notes.

wanderingbadger44 said:Your take felt pretty biased and unnecessarily aggressive.

You didn't seem concerned with showing any respect back when professors were being dismissed as nothing more than pathetic little instructors... boo hoo...

It seems like the respect you're describing is a one-way street where only teachers deserve it from students and parents. In your view, students and their families don't need to earn it, and if a teacher wants respect, they have to build it from scratch themselves. It’s as if the basic tenets of human decency don't apply to educators—as if they're some kind of untouchable deities. How incredibly flattering! Does a professor even have to use the restroom like a normal person? 😁

The reason I even decided to chime in is because of how much people lost their minds just because the teacher offered an apology. Honestly, it feels like the only thing that would actually satisfy everyone is getting them fired.

I don't really have a problem with any of this personally. It just helps me, as I mentioned before, to deal with the role society has shoved me into with a bit more patience: I am treated almost like a flawless demigod, a perfect blend of Jesus Christ and Einstein who happens to have passed a teaching certification in 😬. People hand over the upbringing and education of their most precious assets—their children—into my hands, yet they treat me like a plaything. And apparently, I'm expected to love every second of it and do it all pro bono, driven by pure passion or some kind of masochism. Because heaven forbid we look at our profession through the lens of needing to make a living.

When I see the situation laid out this clearly, it makes it much easier to just sit there and wait for the bell to ring. I'm sure all of your children are absolutely wonderful and exceptionally bright.

😘

Did you ever honestly think you'd pull a decent living from the American education system?

wanderingbadger44 said:Did you perhaps move here from Finland?

Society in Finland truly understands the point you're making.

In America, we've only made it halfway there; people are quick to demand these high standards from educators, yet we aren't quite ready to acknowledge how massive that responsibility actually is or compensate them in a way that reflects its true value.

The brain drain and the decline in quality within our school systems are the natural fallout of that imbalance.

When was teaching ever "adequately compensated" in this country?

Anyone looking for "adequate pay" around here doesn't belong in education...

wanderingbadger44 said:It's interesting watching how much you underestimate them. You seem to think they're just being foolish, which makes me feel like I'm coming off as some sort of bully toward kids.

Why would they bother pushing an identity in high school if there isn't a clear advantage to it, especially when it risks marking them in front of their peers? That "special class" label is easy to carry when it acts as a VIP pass to certain perks. They aren't stupid enough to wear a badge that offers them nothing in return.

Besides, do you really think the kids who didn't have those easy exits or special treatment were also acting out of stupidity? They see exactly what I'm talking about here: most of them were just regular kids who managed to dodge the hard work through these loopholes, while the rest had to sit there and grind it out. It's no wonder they aren't exactly thrilled about it. Of course they'll stay quiet about it in high school. Just try offering them actual privileges and watch how quickly they start claiming those labels. Oh, they'll be more than happy to be labeled then.

aww, it's almost sweet that parents still try to play that game in high school. 😁 I can't say I'm surprised; they're just used to the way things work.

If they bring the paperwork and the teacher informs the faculty during the meeting about the diagnosis in high school, you're fine. And they don't just jump at labeling themselves. Haven't seen that happen yet.

I haven't worked in an elementary school, but assuming everyone will immediately start labeling people based on that seems a bit unfair...

wanderingbadger44 said:Good grief, lady! These kids wave those labels around like they’re flags at a parade. Where on earth have you been living? It’s almost like people forget that during those first four years of school, they’ve already covered the material you're asking about, which opens the door for all sorts of people to misuse a "diagnosis." I honestly thought you were being rhetorical when you asked, so I didn't bother responding, but clearly, you're being dead serious.

Do you have any idea how many parents go out of their way to secure special accommodations for children who are perfectly average—or even gifted—just because they're terrified of their kid being labeled as "different"? Yeah, right. 🤣

Waving them like flags, huh. It’s funny how a few years later, when they hit high school, it’s usually the parents waving those labels at the teacher... I've never heard a single colleague mention a student actually enjoying that kind of public labeling.

To be honest, I don't really care about you personally. I was just wondering if you actually think it's normal to expect a fifth grader to stand up in front of their entire class and announce they have dyslexia.

wanderingbadger44 said:It isn't some medical diagnosis, and it certainly isn't a disease. ☕

It’s funny how people operate, really. They want to feel special when it brings them perks, but they suddenly want to blend into the crowd the moment being different might lead to an awkward social situation. Dyslexia is less of a clinical label and more of a subtle signpost pointing toward an above-average intelligence.

Parents can be such interesting creatures, aren't they? 😍

So, is it standard practice now to expect a fifth grader to stand up in front of their whole class during some misunderstanding with a teacher and say, "Excuse me, but I have dyslexia!"?

Should he probably add, "And that's why I occasionally mix up my phonemes"?

Sure, totally normal to assume a twelve-year-old understands all the nuances and ways the term "dyslexia" gets weaponized...

Grace Edwards said:So yeah—it seems like a pretty basic situation, but I guess there's a useful lesson in there somewhere.
I don't really get this whole trend of overprotecting kids lately.
A kid needs to learn how to handle their own problems as soon as possible (ideally early on). They aren't going to be able to call Mom at work just because a coworker told them they're being an idiot.
If someone is always stepping in to fix things for them, they’ll never actually learn how to resolve a conflict on their own.
In this specific case, I agree with one of the teachers mentioned here—the kid should have just spoken up and said they have dyslexia. They aren't a toddler anymore; they have a voice.
It would only be a real issue if the teacher kept making the same mistake after being warned; then, and only then, should an adult step in.

I remember back in elementary school, our whole class used to go to the principal's office together to complain about teachers who were being way too harsh. The principal actually took us seriously, and the teachers were warned, so those mistakes stopped happening (even though, looking back now, the faculty was honestly pretty incompetent). There was zero need to involve parents.

Still, I'd say kudos to the author for doing her job as a parent perfectly. It's actually pretty rare for a parent to actually look into what really happened instead of just blindly believing their little angel. 👍

A 12-year-old should have just stood up in front of the whole class and said, "Hey, I have dyslexia."

How many adults could actually announce a diagnosis to a group of 30 people without feeling massive amounts of discomfort?...

Alex Barnes8 said:It's not just that you're working in a different town... maybe you're working in a different century.

Well, yeah. 🙂

hiddenseal14 said:Not a chance.
Thank God I'm not working in an environment where parents raise their kids to be absolute morons and then proceed to wrap them in bubble wrap.

In fact, if I ever dared to mention to a parent that their kid was acting like a complete idiot during math class, they wouldn't ask how to fix the behavior—they'd just demand to know why I wasn't giving the kid two slaps across the face instead.

Reading all this makes me feel incredibly blessed 😁

Times change everywhere in the States.

hiddenseal14 said:Well, oops. I actually told a student just a few days ago that they were acting stupid.
The truth is, they really *were* playing dumb, and they were doing it specifically to entertain the rest of the class.

Apparently, I should have just asked for my walking papers right then and there.

Tell him again once, maybe he'll get the hint. But if you keep saying it a third, fifth, or tenth time, don't be shocked when some parent shows up at the principal's office over it.

Michael Davis9 said:No. Yes.
Quincy:

Look, let’s be honest—even in academia, you run into professors who just don't seem to have their act together. I had this one math teacher back in high school who was a total nightmare. Honestly, I couldn't tell if she actually struggled with basic calculations or if she was just playing dumb to avoid explaining things properly, but either way, it was frustrating! I didn't want to be that student who calls her out for being incompetent, but man, there were days when I really wanted to ask her, "Are you actually struggling with this, or are you just pretending?" 😁 Honestly, that woman is completely clueless; she wouldn't know math if it hit her in the face. It feels like she probably only scraped through her exams because someone pulled some strings for her or she used other ways to get ahead. Does anyone else deal with bosses who are just... well, let's call them "intellectually challenged"? I’ve been wondering lately if we actually tell them how clueless they are, or if we just bite our tongues like we do when kids are acting out. I mean, you can't exactly be blunt with a toddler because they lack the capacity to defend themselves, but when it comes to a supervisor making nonsensical decisions, the rules seem different. Is it ever okay to call out that level of stupidity, or are we all just playing along to keep the peace?

Look, I’ve definitely dealt with my fair share of dim-witted professors myself—though, to be fair, they weren't necessarily dishonest, just lacking that spark of intelligence. But obviously, I don't go around walking through the halls telling people they're stupid. In this specific situation, I'm certainly not trying to defend the professor here.

I’m going to focus my comments on the second half of the title—specifically, how teachers in general approach their students. If we just sit here debating that one English teacher's specific mistakes, I don't think this discussion really gains any traction. It's pretty obvious she messed up, but let's look at the bigger picture.
Well, if that's the case, you probably shouldn't have gone with such an ambiguous headline in the first place!

You know, it’s entirely possible that you’re dealing with someone who was once a total wunderkind—someone calm, reliable, and always pulling straight A's—only to suddenly start making incredibly questionable decisions out of nowhere. In a situation like that, asking them, "Are you just pretending to be stupid?" actually makes perfect sense. Since we already know the kid isn't actually dim-witted, the only logical conclusion left is that they're putting on an act.

How can he be so sure you don't think he's actually just dim? The margin for misunderstanding is way too wide for that question to ever fly... in a classroom setting.

Michael Davis9 said:Could we please get the title corrected? The teacher actually questioned whether the child was pretending to be dim, rather than just asking—she flat-out stated that they really are just stupid.
☕

I mean, look, if a kid is pulling straight A's across the board, then we're clearly looking at a case of pure teacher bias, a massive failure in the school system, or something else entirely going on behind the scenes.
It’s just impossible for a child to be truly "stupid." People only start becoming foolish once they hit the real world; until they graduate, they're just little, innocent kids doing their best.

Sure, you can ask your own kid, "Are you playing dumb?" Or maybe throw it at a student during an informal field trip... but saying that in a classroom isn't exactly professional communication.

wanderingbadger44 said:I'm struggling to see how your interpretation connects back to anything I actually said in my original post.

Not necessarily... just asking. You were responding to someone else who brought up the need for decent communication in a completely different field.

wanderingbadger44 said:Why don't you go ahead and finish your degree, pass all those certification exams, and then come try your luck teaching in a public school? You can enjoy our exact salary, those three months of summer break, and all the perks people love to talk about regarding our four-hour workdays. I’m certainly not stopping you.😉

So, you think it's perfectly fine to ask a twelve-year-old kid, "Are you deaf or just stupid?"...

Raymond Rivera6 said:I’m looking for some advice because I’m honestly so livid right now that I probably can’t think straight or be objective.
So, my son just started 5th grade. He moved from an elementary school to a middle school, which meant new subjects and new teachers, but everything was going fine for the most part. Back in 1st grade, we noticed some issues with his reading and writing—various tests, speech therapists, psychologists—until they finally diagnosed him with dyslexia in 2nd grade. That’s when our real battle began. It’s been constant daily practice and an incredible amount of effort on his part, but I can finally say those hurdles are mostly behind us. He reads technically well; when he writes quickly, he might make a tiny mistake here or there, but it’s negligible.
He came home from school last night and told me his English teacher called him stupid, and now he doesn't even want to talk about it. Now, I don't necessarily assume he's lying, but I suppose there's a possibility he misheard her—maybe she was just reprimanding him and he thought she was questioning his intelligence. I am desperately hoping it was just a misunderstanding. I’ve already reached out to a few parents whose kids he gets along with, asking them to see if their children heard what actually happened. And this is what happened: she called him up to the board to write something, and he swapped the letters 'b' and 'd' in two places. She told him to look closely and correct the error. He looked, didn't catch the mistake, and then she asked him if he was actually stupid or just pretending to be.
I've decided today that I need to go to the school, but I have no idea where to start. Should I go speak to her directly first? Should I go to the homeroom teacher or the principal? Do I actually have the right to make a massive scene over this, or am I overreacting by feeling like she humiliated my child in front of the entire class?
Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Talk to her. Explain how that affected him and tell her you expect it never to happen again. Asking "Are you deaf?" or "Are you stupid?" isn't how you talk to a student, especially at that age, under those circumstances, and with that diagnosis.

If there's more trouble, go to the principal.