Paul Fox said:He told me straight up that he isn't interested in a girl who doesn't drink. My response was simple—I have zero interest in dating an alcoholic. And just like that, my first real relationship ended. On paper, we were perfect... everything else worked so well. I can share more details if anyone is interested, but what I really want to hear the consensus on is this: who do you think actually has the deeper psychological issue here? Is it me, because I feel a genuine sense of dread and revulsion toward alcohol—or is it him, someone who drinks until he blacks out, gets behind the wheel intoxicated, and misses his responsibilities the next morning because he's too hungover?
People used to tell me I’d never find anyone if I didn't start drinking. I don't take them literally, of course, but... honestly, how much do you think my dating prospects are being hindered by my sobriety?
They usually tell me alcohol lowers inhibitions, so if I drank, it might be easier to approach someone. Plus, at social hubs (like clubs...), drinking is the norm, and being sober just isn't fun for me there—though I wonder if that's just because I'm sober. It's also gross when someone approaches me while they're wasted, and then they suggest it wouldn't be so bad if I just had a drink too.
I don't drink at all, not even on holidays (Christmas, Easter, birthdays, weddings, etc.), and I can tell you that your chances of meeting someone—or them meeting you—are perfectly fine without it. People don't just find partners at nightclubs. In fact, it seems to me those make up a much smaller crowd. Something else might be the limiting factor. I'll touch on that in the next quote:
I don't know where the line is for being an alcoholic. 🤷 He claims he can go months without it if he doesn't have company, that he generally doesn't drink alone (though I caught him once, and he made excuses about needing company to watch a game), and that he mostly drinks out socially, no more than once a week unless it's a special occasion, otherwise just a light beer or glass of wine with dinner. But during his last two outings, he had four shots and several beers in less than four hours. He didn't vomit (as far as I know) and wasn't violent or making scenes, but in my opinion, he was visibly drunk. My biggest concern is that he doesn't even think to drink water in this heat, and then sits behind the wheel an hour later.
You mention being okay with a glass of wine after dinner, but based on what you wrote about your boyfriend's "moderate" drinking (not getting wasted, which is different), it doesn't seem that way to me. Phrases like "I caught him" or "he made excuses" aren't really how I'd describe something I'm totally comfortable with, but I just don't partake. Actually, that isn't even the issue; the real risk is that by having to call people out for having a glass of wine or enjoying a beer during a game, you might drive people away until you're left only with absolute abstainers. That's quite rare, and you should keep that in mind.
And just to comment on your boyfriend—it's a massive problem that he gets behind the wheel while intoxicated. Not just for him, but for everyone else on the road.
Maybe it's genetic; my mother finds alcohol just as repulsive as I do, while the rest of the family drinks very occasionally and in moderation.
I'd say you might have just picked up those habits from your mom and made them your own. That would explain the aversion... As for the taste and smell being unpleasant, that’s pretty standard since it isn't part of your diet. Even after all these years of staying sober, I still find the taste off-putting sometimes...