Posts by Angela Newman33

is 21 years old

Someone just gave me a heads-up that I might be oversharing here—that people might find it hard to actually process what I'm saying

I know, I know... it feels pretty stupid to be posting about such deeply personal stuff in a public forum, but here’s the gist of what happened

My dad took his own life a few days ago. My youngest brother was the one who found him.
Given how horrific the scene was and the sheer shock of it all, I don't think any of us are ever going to be able to scrub those images from our heads.

But honestly? My biggest worry right now is my brother. He was the one who walked in on everything, and I think he's still stuck in some kind of state of total shock—it's like his brain hasn't even fully processed the reality of it yet.

So, I'm trying to gather some information—things that might help me spot certain signs or symptoms in him—just so I know if I need to get him in front of a professional who can actually help him through this.

Hey, does anyone know if there are any support groups in the States for people who have lost a family member, or something like that?
Something that the whole family can attend together, too.

Is there actually any way to get insurance to cover the cost of seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist?
Or even just a chunk of it

How much time is actually considered "normal"—is there some kind of standard we can point to, or is it just a totally individual thing?

So, is there really a line between those "standard" symptoms you just have to ride out until they clear up, versus the ones that actually signal something more serious is going on?

ugh
I’ve had more than enough of this endless
but honestly? I’m just terrified I’ll have to go through one more round of this 😁

Look, I genuinely love kids. Babies are adorable—I love holding them, playing with them, just hanging out with them in general
but I have zero desire to have my own. That lifestyle just isn't for me... I don't feel the urge, and honestly, I don't think it would actually make me happy.

In fact, I’d much rather adopt a child who’s already out there needing a home than go through the whole process of having my own biological kid.

I just don't see the point or the purpose in bringing a new life into the world myself... you know?
I feel like I could do way more good by taking in someone who's already stuck in the system and just needs someone to look out for them.

And look, it’s just not true that people who don't want kids actually dislike them... and it's just as untrue to say that everyone who has kids does so because they love them... unfortunately... if that were actually the case... the world would be a whole lot more peaceful than it is right now

Chris Watson3 said:Honestly, I’d start getting seriously concerned about my own mental state if I were thinking this way. Look, if you don't want kids, fine—that’s your business. But comparing children to animals? That is absolutely revolting. Besides, people with this kind of mindset should probably be legally barred from having children anyway, because it’s exactly because of people like you that our foster care system is overflowing with abandoned kids.

I mean, that’s not even really how it works... nursing homes are packed because people just keep having kids without giving it a second thought. Meanwhile, those who actually make a conscious choice to stay childless? They aren't exactly out there trying to make it happen—which means, well... the odds are way lower.

The biggest issue is just how much people play games with their lives... they go out and have a kid and then act all shocked when reality actually hits them. Like, give me a break.

And let's not even get started on that certain subset of people who decide to have a dozen kids—basically popping out a new one every single year—only to realize they can't actually afford to raise them. So then they just hand the kids off to the government, which, let's be honest, has absolutely no clue what to do with them either.

Honestly, it’s better to not have kids at all than to bring them into this world if you can't actually show up for them—or even just provide the basics. It's a tough pill to swallow, but if you aren't in a position to give them the care they deserve, maybe it's better to just skip that chapter entirely.

Casey White98 said:I have to admit, the whole idea of wanting children feels completely abstract and foreign to me. I mean, what does that even entail? Don't get me wrong, I love kids. I really do. I see them out on the street and my heart just melts; I can relate to them, and I’d happily play with them until I’m exhausted. It's a full emotional package. But those are someone else's kids—they already exist. I can observe them and decide they're great, but that's where it ends.

How am I supposed to actually envision my own child? As some random toddler from a daycare center, or as this totally unique blend of me and a partner?
The first scenario feels a bit pointless to me, because it's like window shopping. You don't go to Target to stare at desk lamps, because not all products are identical; you can't look at a sample and predict the final result. Looking at a redhead girl with a specific accent doesn't mean that's what I'll end up with if I base my desire on mere attraction.
The second scenario is just too abstract. I can't predict an image like that, no matter how much effort goes into conception. Because it's so unknowable, I can't really "want" it, unless my desire is actually rooted in some idealized notion of happiness, peace, or the serenity of motherhood—but nobody has implanted that deep enough in me for my partner and me to both identify with it.

That's why I'm not entirely sure what a true female desire for a child actually looks like; I just can't find it within myself. If there are any traces of such a feeling, it's just a desire for the laughter, the joy, and those sweet little outbursts unique to small children—their clumsy movements, their noises, their facial expressions, things like that. But when you consider that this phase only lasts a few years, and my impulses are miles away from a permanent "desire for a child," I guess those are pretty shaky foundations for such a massive undertaking.

And that's not even touching on the issue of parenting—the fear of replicating behavior patterns we see at home or elsewhere that I definitely wouldn't want passed down, especially not through me.

So, yeah. I'm not about to upend two lives just because something seems cute or occasionally fun, without having any clue what the actual impact on my life will be. No thanks. I wouldn't take out a mortgage like that. 😉

Oh, come on... why else do you think people have kids? Because they figure having something cute around is enough of a reason.

What usually gets under my skin the most isn't even about the lack of kids—it’s the women who seem perpetually frustrated and miserable... just constantly taking it out on their families. They walk around every single day with this martyr complex written all over their faces... acting like they’re "sacrificing" everything for their children... carrying themselves like being a selfless parent is the most noble thing a human can achieve in the world.
And then, of course, they go around preaching that having babies is the ultimate dream, the meaning of life, blah blah blah...

But if you look past the act, it feels like there's this subconscious envy toward people who don't have to carry that specific "burden"... toward those who actually have the freedom to choose their own path... toward the people who are brave enough to admit that this "sacred mission" of motherhood doesn't actually appeal to them at all.

It’s like they’ve made it their life's work to churn out as many clones as possible... kids who end up just as overwhelmed and restricted... just as frustrated and fed up with life as they are.

It’s weird, honestly... in my experience, the people with the most kids often turn out to be the worst parents. They pop out a whole crowd and then spend every day rubbing it in their faces how much they suffer for them... as if the kids actually asked to be "carried on their backs." To me, that seems way more selfish than the decision to stay childless simply because you don't feel the need or desire to have them.

Someone who has kids just to satisfy their own ego definitely isn't doing it out of selflessness.

I’d bet anything that a good parent is someone who is already happy, fulfilled, and whole on their own... rather than someone searching for that outside of themselves and expecting their children to make them happy or complete them.

At the end of the day, someone who didn't plan on having kids (if one happens unexpectedly) can be just as great a parent as someone who planned every step... it really just comes down to attitude and accepting whatever life throws at you.

People who have kids just because they think they "should," because society expects it, because they think it'll make them happy, because they’re afraid of being lonely one day, or just because babies are cute... I honestly think they're doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Knowledge without heart is dangerous
But passion without actual skill? That’s just hard to make work in the real world

When you finally marry the two, you get wisdom—and that’s really the only way you actually start hitting your stride and reaching your full potential

Let's be real: just hoarding a massive pile of data in your head without truly grasping how it all fits together—you know, seeing the big picture, understanding the "why" behind the "what," and spotting those cause-and-effect links—is pretty much useless. It’s just a collection of facts that doesn't hold much weight (other than maybe giving your ego a little boost), and honestly, it just creates this fake illusion of being smart

Why are the mods on this sub so incredibly laid back?
Even when discussions are totally mindless and make zero sense

So this mechanic rolls up to a culinary school workshop and decides he’s going to forcefully lecture everyone on how a two-stroke engine works... people are just sitting there trying to tell him he’s in the wrong classroom, but the guy won't budge.

🤣

p.s.
It's pretty easy to be the resident gearhead at a cooking class—maybe try mastering a poached egg before you start lecturing us, yeah?

It’s kind of funny how on these spirituality forums, the loudest voices—and usually the ones with the deepest pockets—are the exact people who don't have a clue what the word even means. They prove it with every single post they make, too.

Why is it that every single time someone posts about a struggle on this forum, there’s always at least one genius who jumps in to downplay everything just so they can pivot the spotlight back to their own "tragic" life? Apparently, their situation is always infinitely worse—it’s clearly just an insatiable need for attention... because if you aren't the center of the universe, you don't exist, right?

I honestly think 99% of women would much rather deal with a mother-in-law who stays far away and out of sight than one who’s breathing down your neck 24/7, micromanaging your entire existence and inserting herself into every little thing... I really don't think those two scenarios are even remotely comparable.

Living with someone that pathologically possessive is basically a special kind of hell... and all that emotional blackmail and psychological warfare she pulls? That shouldn't be taken lightly, let alone tolerated.

It sounds like before you even hit "post" on a new thread, you're looking at a long, exhausting battle for survival against this tyrant—good luck to you, seriously.

I’m not holding my breath thinking the mother-in-law will change... and her son has even less chance, as long as he’s still living under her thumb.
He isn't afraid of his wife, so there's zero chance he'll ever stand up to his mom. She’s the absolute ruler of the house, manipulating him his whole life using nothing but guilt and other toxic tactics.

The more likely scenario is that she'll just try to adapt, losing herself in the process... eventually becoming frustrated, resigned, and totally checked out.

If there's any hope for saving the marriage—at least from where I'm sitting—it's moving. And fast. If not to a different city, then at least to a different neighborhood... plus, setting some ironclad boundaries.

p.s. As a first step... I’d suggest changing the locks and making your own keys for your private spaces... essentially drawing a hard line between common areas and your own private sanctuary.

If that doesn't send a clear message that they need to respect your privacy and your intimacy, then I really don't know what else to tell you.🙂
And if they take offense? Just make up some excuse about home security or worrying about the kids. ))))

It’s honestly not worth the headache, the time, or—most importantly—the cash...

I’m done letting this stress me out... all I'll say is that I managed to find more gigs in a single week than some manager does in seven months...

And I wasn't even trying...

☕

Keith Phillips3 said:Maybe this is just a weird story, or maybe it’s totally standard—just told in a strange way.
😁

From what I can gather, you took over the company where you used to be on the exact same level as this guy.
And now, he doesn't want to work for you—instead, he's starting his own thing and trying to drag as many clients away as possible.
Still, it's a pretty run-of-the-mill situation in the wild west of the business world.

But that part about him wanting 50% plus gas money and full benefits while being officially on the payroll? That’s just wild. 🙏

We weren't actually on the same level at the old firm... we were more like partners working side-by-side... and this guy only joined recently...
My former partner moved on to something else and decided to freeze the original company, so I stayed behind with this new guy... I set up my own LLC under my name (but kept the old company name along with all our accounts and clients)

Now this guy thinks he should be an equal partner—basically stepping right into the shoes the previous partner left behind... he just wants to jump into that spot...

It’s all getting pretty messy...

Look, it’s never quite that simple...

It was all based on "friendship" or whatever, and honestly? I was just being naive and too trusting...
But from now on, if it isn't signed, sealed, and delivered in black and white, I'm not buying it. Period.

I didn't exactly hand him his job at the firm—he was brought in by the guy who was listed as the owner back then.

Now everything’s been transferred over to me, and even though that former owner basically passed the torch long ago, he can't handle the idea of me being technically above him on paper. So, instead of playing nice, he decided to cut ties, start his own outfit, and grab whatever assets he could get his hands on.

If you’d asked me before, I wouldn't have worked with someone unless I was 100% sure they weren't going to stab me in the back—but I trusted my old partner's judgment... and well, here we are.
...we were all pretty blindsided, to say the least.

He thinks he’s some big shot, just totally arrogant.

And he's finding out I'm not nearly as clueless or easy to push around as he thought I was.

So yeah, that's it. We're done working together.