I've got two dogs at home. Honestly? I’d take them over being part of any social circle or community any day. A dog will never turn their back on you. Their love is just limitless—they'll never betray you. Most people are just two-faced and crooked. (Shout out to the exceptions, though!) ☕
You're wrong, granitefalcon26. It's better to have dogs than to be in a bad community, sure, but that doesn't even begin to compare to being part of one harmonious community where you have partners, children (or even pets like dogs and cats if that's what you want). You can have it all, and there is absolutely nothing more beautiful in this life. Traveling with real people—with the people we actually love—is also incomparably better...
In other words, it's certainly better to be alone than to be stuck in a low-quality romantic relationship. But saying it's better to be alone simply because we've been burned, suffered, or hurt... well, that's a different story entirely.
I truly hope you find someone you can share your joys with—someone to travel with, dive with—but someone with whom you can give and love without fear or anxiety. There is no substitute for that feeling in this lifetime.
redcanyon93 said:I was catching up with a friend the other day, and they mentioned that quite a few people they know see me as someone who is much better off flying solo. To be perfectly honest, I find myself falling squarely into that same category as well.
What is your take on people like this? Is it simply a matter of finding comfort in one's own company, or does it stem from some sort of emotional incapacity? Are we all just becoming increasingly comfortable being alone... perhaps too much so?
Let me elaborate on why being alone is actually far less taxing for me than being in a relationship. When I am by myself, I don't feel the absence of anyone; I’m not waiting on anyone, nor am I constantly preoccupied with whether someone else is okay or if something has gone wrong in their life...
However, once I am with someone else, I become painfully aware of my own solitude, and that realization starts to weigh heavily on me—it's significantly harder to bear than when I am ACTUALLY ALONE. Every moment that person is absent begins to ache; every smile they offer to another woman feels like a sting, and every harsh word cuts deep... yet, when I am solo, I don't even get the impression that anything is missing at all. I can't tell if this is entirely sane, but the truth is I am genuinely HAPPIER alone than I am with someone... and apparently, that isn't supposed to be "normal," is it?
I won't lecture you on what's "normal," but let's be real: an adult shouldn't be nursing these kinds of feelings while in a relationship. It isn't healthy. To me, it just suggests that for whatever reason, you aren't actually capable of loving or being loved. Your "solo time" isn't a choice in that case—it's a necessity born out of failure, which means it has absolutely nothing to do with true happiness.
For instance, I was probably the happiest person on the planet when I finally walked away from a toxic relationship. I could finally breathe again. And then, later on, I met a man who makes me feel more at peace than anyone else ever has.
Look, I know how to be alone and actually enjoy my own company, but I also have a perfectly normal, healthy relationship where I don't feel like I'm drowning.
casualwolf39 said:What on earth are you basing those comments on???
😕
Based entirely on what you just wrote. You don't need to scour the whole thread to understand that a forum is one thing, while actual, professionally managed therapy is something else entirely. I don't need to constantly monitor this discussion to see how much this means to all of you, which is exactly why I support finding a solution as quickly as possible so you can return and help yourselves.🤷
I know personally how much I'd miss the Lounge bar thread, which also frequently teeters on the edge of being inappropriate... but even then, it isn't a clinical topic.
casualwolf39 said:You claim this is an insult, but you clearly fail to realize that this is child's play compared to what a real border agent faces in actual life and the things they have to say....
The only "effective therapy" for a border agent would look exactly like the last few pages of this thread.
I hear what you're saying, but there is a massive flaw in how you're viewing this whole situation. Let's be clear: this is just an online forum with its own set of rules and limitations—it is absolutely not professional therapy. I mean, even if someone finds this kind of discussion helpful during a clinical session, that doesn't mean the same thing is going to happen here on a message board. Unfortunately, this is just a forum, not a professionally managed therapeutic environment. To actually see any progress in therapy, it has to be led by a specialist; you can't just throw a group of patients into a room together and expect them to heal themselves.🙂
By the way, I’m staying out of this. Honestly, I don't even read your thread because I have too much trauma myself and I have zero desire to revisit those memories. But truly, I sincerely hope the moderators decide what to do with this thread soon, because I know how much you all need it.
VA, please don't just scatter like a bunch of amateurs; I truly don't care how this thread ends. Honestly, my only hope—and I say this for your sake and for everyone else on this forum who comes here looking for a shred of comfort or a way to cope—is that the moderators actually decide to unlock this.
William Alvarez2 said:...do you ever get that feeling where you have absolutely no clue what to do with yourself tomorrow? It comes with this underlying dread. Like, what am I even supposed to do with my life the day after tomorrow? What do I do with myself when there are no obligations and zero motivation to even get out of bed, leaving me alone with a head full of problems I don't know how to solve? People you can't escape... people you just want to vanish from. You'd rather pull a blanket over your head and pretend you don't exist just so nobody touches you. Waking up every morning in a state of panic, heart racing like I just finished a marathon in the early hours. Staring at the ceiling. More senseless thoughts. Life is at a standstill. I have to get up. I have to move. But I have no one to "help" me...🙂😢😢
Hardly ever. Even when I'm just curled up in a fetal position under a heavy blanket, I still feel like I have a handle on things.
William Alvarez2 said:...do you ever get that feeling where you have absolutely no clue what to do with yourself tomorrow? It comes with this underlying dread. Like, what am I even supposed to do with my life the day after tomorrow? What do I do with myself when there are no obligations and zero motivation to even get out of bed, leaving me alone with a head full of problems I don't know how to solve? People you can't escape... people you just want to vanish from. You'd rather pull a blanket over your head and pretend you don't exist just so nobody touches you. Waking up every morning in a state of panic, heart racing like I just finished a marathon in the early hours. Staring at the ceiling. More senseless thoughts. Life is at a standstill. I have to get up. I have to move. But I have no one to "help" me...🙂😢😢
Well, technically, you don't *have* to do anything. The only thing that's strictly mandatory is dying. As for the whole "help" thing—yeah, that's usually how it goes. When life hits you hardest, nobody shows up. Honestly, I've come to embrace that "nobody's coming" mentality. At first glance, it looks like pure, unadulterated pessimism, but if you look closer, it's actually the greatest comfort one can find.
Dennis Turner6 said:Don’t get mad at me for saying this, but reading through this thread, I’m getting the feeling that it’s the exact same mess whether people are taking their meds or not. That’s just my take on it.
Your "impression" is completely worthless. I am talking about reality here. Without my medication, I suffered from panic attacks so severe I ended up in the ER because doctors thought I was having a stroke. With my meds? I literally got my life back. Period.
And let me be clear: I am the type of person who would swallow pure poison if it meant I’d never have to deal with what I went through again. I don't even want to go into the details of the agoraphobia, the social anxiety, the endless cycle of phobias, and all that other garbage that made it impossible to breathe or perform basic daily tasks. It left me paralyzed. I'm not interested in debating the merits of being "natural" when my quality of life depends on this.
Richard Bailey21 said:How can I stop letting minor mistakes from my past weigh me down? Back in my teenage years, I engaged in certain behaviors that were perfectly normal and morally sound, yet they fall into that category of things only a handful of adolescents ever do. It haunts me constantly; no matter how much success I achieve or how happy I manage to be, those memories resurface and drag me into an unbearable state of depression. It feels as though nothing I do truly matters anymore, because those moments have stripped my life of its sense of purpose. Thank you in advance.
There aren't many people who wouldn't change a few things if they could travel back a few years, but those "mistakes" clearly had to happen to teach us something. You might not see the lesson right now, but the very fact that you react this way shows that those teenage years shaped you into the person you are today—someone who wouldn't be the same without them. We all have the right to live our lives, and it is never too late to pivot away from behaviors we no longer want to define us. Don't beat yourself up over a version of yourself that doesn't even exist anymore. Focus on the man you are being right now and try not to be so damn hard on yourself.🙂
I couldn't agree more—beating around the bush is a complete waste of energy, both for you and for your therapist. Honestly, I’d reach out to someone official. I highly doubt any actual professional would penalize you just because you had the sense to seek help for some past trauma. I’ve certainly never heard of anyone facing "sanctions" or repercussions simply for addressing their mental health.🤷
edit: okay, I actually managed to dig this up online, so give it a shot
CRISIS CENTER AND SUICIDE PREVENTION UNIT Mayo Clinic 123 Medical Plaza Patients can walk in personally between 8 AM and 8 PM, or they are available 24/7 via phone at 555-0199
nimblenomad8, I truly hope you can find a qualified professional to guide you through this. I know how incredibly heavy this feels, and I empathize with you completely, but staring at the situation and dwelling on "what ifs" won't help anyone. Of course things *could* have been different—that’s a reality we all face at some point in our lives. We all carry our own burdens and painful memories. But in your case, you have at least two compelling reasons why you cannot let this grief consume you.
Give yourself the grace of time. An abortion is a monumental life event; you need to process it, grieve for that child, and find closure. That is exactly why I believe reaching out to a specialist to support you through these moments is the right move.
Honestly, I’d just give him a call and let him know I expect those funds to be added tomorrow. I wouldn't make a scene about it; I’d just ask what time he plans on swinging by. No hostility, no drama, no attitude—just keeping it strictly business. Everything is fine, but we are definitely settling this tomorrow.
Steven Martin13 said:So, I’m starting to taper off my Zoloft—I’ve been dropping by 1/4 of a pill every week—but I can't help wondering, is that slow enough to be safe?
Also, is it okay if I take a tiny 0.25 dose of Elizabeth whenever I really need it?
I know people are going to ask why, but honestly, I'm quitting Zoloft because it just makes me feel... blunt. Plus, I’ve been incredibly jittery and irritable lately—it's like this weird, foggy sense of unreality is constantly hovering over me. It hasn't even helped with the actual symptoms, which makes me think I might just be resistant to it. To make matters worse, during those first two months of treatment, the anxiety it triggered was so intense that I realized things literally couldn't get any worse than that. Does anyone know how long it takes for the stuff to fully clear out of your system once you stop taking it?
It’s definitely a good idea if you're trying to dull the edge of those side effects from coming off Zoloft.
Look, I know you're already aware of this, but since there are so many people lurking on this forum, I have to state it clearly: trying to taper off this medication without a doctor's supervision is a reckless move.
I honestly don't know how... it’s easy enough to say we need to change and actually put in the work, but...
Look, I’m pretty much in the exact same boat as you. Our partners are in similar positions too, but we managed to find our equilibrium a long time ago—he doesn't pressure me to go out and socialize, and I don't try to clip his wings when he wants to be out there being seen and heard.
He’s the kind of guy who can strike up a conversation with anyone from a seven-year-old to a seventy-seven-year-old, whereas I am his polar opposite. I keep a very tight-knit circle of friends—friendships that have lasted at least a decade. These people are scattered all over the country, but they remain a constant in my life; we stay connected and truly know what’s going on with one another.
On top of all that, I live in a small town, which makes me seem even more "odd" by local standards because I’m just not interested in sitting at a Starbucks for hours or joining in on the daily gossip sessions. I'm certainly not the type to walk through the park and flash a fake smile at everyone just because our kids happened to end up playing on the same slide. To put it bluntly, I am an introvert, and when it comes to choosing who I spend my time with, I am incredibly selective. My partner, due to both his career and his temperament, is my total antithesis. Yet, despite this massive divide in our social lives, we get along famously.🙂
And what am I supposed to say about all that "nervousness" you're dealing with? Honestly, I’ve been known to start my workouts well after midnight just to burn off that restless energy and get it out of my system.🙄
David Bishop4 said:Guys, I really need some support right now. Is it normal to be hit this hard by nervousness, anxiety, and nausea? Just to give some context—it’s my seventh day on an AD, specifically Paxil, and yesterday was the first time I took the full tablet. Will this intense, constant anxiety eventually subside, or am I just dealing with a side effect?
I dealt with that same intense jitters during the first 10 days while my body was adjusting, though I didn't have the nausea part. Honestly, if I were you, I’d definitely reach out to my doctor right away so they can evaluate the situation and decide how to proceed.
Let’s get one thing straight here. Are you actually experiencing hallucinations, or are you just letting your imagination run wild—like when a kid sees a shadow on the wall and thinks it's a monster? If it's the latter, then you seriously need to deal with those underlying anxieties head-on. But if we're talking actual hallucinations, then stop stalling and go see a primary care physician immediately.
Lisa Myers said:So, did you actually have an increased appetite or not? 🤣
From your post, I gather that you did, even if you weren't eating much. Basically, you're saying the pills caused the weight gain, not the food?
It’s pretty obvious, isn't it? She claimed she was "hungry as a wolf," yet she wasn't even eating nearly what her usual intake used to be—and even then, she was still gaining weight. Let’s be real here: people don't just put on pounds by eating a single apple and a bowl of granola a day. In fact, if that were actually the case, they'd hit a body weight that would make an anorexic look healthy by comparison.
vividdrifter26 said:So, last year I tell my doctor I’m dealing with this massive amount of rage—just constant anger—and he basically shrugs and goes, "That's what Xanax is for." Look, the Xanax works—it's not like it does nothing—but it feels like the effects just don't last nearly as long as they used to(?).
Just posting this to see if anyone else is going through the same thing. What kind of Xanax doses have you guys been taking, how long has it been, and what kind of line is your doctor giving you? I’ve seen some massive bottles of Zoloft and Xanax sitting on pharmacy shelves lately—just huge quantities of the stuff. I've also heard that these... I can't even begin to deal with these idiots. They’re handing out some extra heavy doses—who knows exactly what the deal is—plus another two or three different pills on top of that. Honestly, I don't even know the names, but whatever. It doesn't really matter right now.
Oh, absolutely, because your body has clearly built up a tolerance to it. You've been on it far too long. Honestly, you need to go back and have a serious sit-down with your doctor, or better yet, seek out a second opinion entirely. Just cranking up the dosage isn't a solution; it's a band-aid on a bullet wound. The whole reason I even brought this up on the forum is because doctors vary wildly in their approaches. Just because one person here finds relief with a specific medication doesn't mean it's going to work for you. Bottom line: you have to talk to a medical professional about this.
Look, I don't claim to be an expert, which is exactly why I have a psychiatrist to handle all this medication business. When it comes to my own treatment, I only take an anxiolytic as a temporary supplement to my antidepressants, strictly following my doctor's orders. The plan is to use it for up to six months and then taper off; it’s meant to be taken as needed, though my need isn't even a daily thing. I'm specifically talking about managing an anxiety-depressive disorder while simultaneously being on an antidepressant.
I am well aware of what happens with long-term anxiolytic users—I actually have people in my own family who fit that description. They are essentially hooked at this point, and the reality is that most of them aren't even consulting their doctors anymore; they just take it on their own whim. That's when the real nightmare begins: the withdrawal phase once they finally face a physician. My aunt is currently in the middle of trying to wean herself off Lorazepam after God knows how many years of use. My grandmother is also dependent on an anxiolytic, but because of her age, chronic insomnia, and various other health issues, they didn't fully taper her off; instead, they just swapped her Normabell for something else (I can't recall the specific name).
Ultimately, as you can clearly see, this is incredibly individual. It depends entirely on the patient, their specific condition, their history of previous treatments, and so on. At the end of the day, any serious discussion regarding medication needs to be handled directly with your doctor, not on some internet forum.🙂