Ugh, my back and shoulders are killing me too because I hunch over all weirdly whenever I lean in to comfort him—I just end up pulling my shoulders inward. I don't know how else to do it, so I'm just stuck dealing with the pain.
Does anyone else deal with abdominal pain? Specifically in the upper abs? I tried to get some crunches in today, but I couldn't manage even one single rep because my muscles are just killing me. Honestly, I could barely pull myself off the floor. On top of that, I'm having issues with my lower abdomen, right below the navel, so that area isn't getting any work either...
ironbadger9 said:In Japan, they actually have hotels specifically designed for new moms. They go there to recover and rest, focusing entirely on breastfeeding and bonding with their baby.
Honestly, most of my friends get that exact same treatment at home. Since they all live in multi-generational households—either with their parents or in-laws—someone else handles the cooking, the laundry, and the cleaning while they just focus on the baby. Well, maybe not "most," but basically everyone I know except for me and one other person, whose mom also drops by every single day to help out.
I guess it's because I can't stand living with anyone, so I don't have any of that support. My apartment looks like a total disaster zone right now. I’ve seriously considered hiring a sitter for just a few hours so I could finally clear my head and catch six consecutive hours of sleep, but I feel too guilty. Everyone keeps giving me that look like, "How can you not keep up? You're home all day." Yeah, right—it's hard when you're stuck with a baby who spends half the day screaming through colic and other digestive nightmares.
I really hope it’s not arthritis, because that thing is brutal—we have a diagnosis in our family. Are you taking any specific vitamins? What did your doctor suggest for managing it?
Honestly, ever since I gave birth, I've just been constantly sick. Even though I kept taking my prenatal vitamins on my OBGYN's recommendation, I was still struggling. I didn't breastfeed, but I was pumping, which probably just drained the life out of me.
First, I had a low-grade fever for about ten days. I went to the doctor, but they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me; it just eventually cleared up on its own. Then, after feeling okay for a couple of days, I caught rotavirus. It absolutely wrecked me. To this day, my ligaments still ache. They told me that whatever pain I had during pregnancy is basically what I'll be dealing with from here on out.
Maybe it was because I spent seven months of my pregnancy on strict bed rest, only to travel to Washington, D.C. three days after giving birth and spend every single day walking around hospitals on my feet. Combining that forced inactivity with absolutely zero postpartum recovery—you know, actually resting instead of jumping right back into things—is likely why I ended up so run down.
As long as I live, I won't forget how my postpartum nurse kept lecturing me: she insisted a woman needs to eat well, stay hydrated, and lie down to get at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep for at least a month after delivery. Yeah, right. As if anyone actually provided that kind of support for me.
And let's face it, age plays a part too. By the time my mom was my age, she was already a grandmother.
Jerry Anderson87 said:Does that mean we could hand out cash to people with frozen bank accounts while letting everyone else run their errands normally? How would you even justify that later on... especially since it would be pretty obvious the whole goal was just to dodge the garnishments...
It's possible and there isn't really a need for justification since it's perfectly legal
The only real issue is whether an employer is actually willing to accommodate one person by paying cash while sticking to standard payroll for the rest—it just creates more administrative headaches for them.
Look, you can't exactly just pay an employee $0.33 out of the petty cash fund as a "baby gift" every single month. I'd say maybe $400 $167 once a year is the limit if you want to stay under the radar tax-wise. If you have to cover all the payroll taxes on it, you’re basically just throwing money down the drain.
Or is this some other new loophole?
So, let me get this straight: starting September 1st, commuting costs and business travel expenses (just the actual costs) are tax-exempt? But what about per diems and field stipends? Are those still being hit? Am I overthinking this?
And where does everything else fall? Christmas bonuses, vacation payouts, retirement benefits, or death benefits for a family member? Where does that all land?
So, I finally realized that applies to those miscellaneous payments made through the cash register—the stuff that's allowed. Salary isn't part of that; if it hits your checking account alongside your paycheck, it should be hitting the garnishment account instead.
No way, isn't it obvious that travel reimbursements have been protected since September 1st?
I honestly don't follow. How would employers no longer be obligated to handle wage garnishments? Honestly, maybe that would actually be a good thing—just hand everything over to the IRS and let them deal with the headache. Right now, some things go to the IRS, some go straight to the employer; it’s just one giant mess. That change would be great.
ruggedmaker2, just keep me posted on any updates. I'm a little out of the loop on all of this, but I definitely want to stay up to speed.
I actually agree with your point that the bailiff is the one who needs to contact the IRS directly to handle opening a protected account.
But I’m going to have to disagree with you on the idea that the parent has to babysit the process of making sure child support hits that protected account. Once they hand over those protected account details to their employer, HR should know exactly how the mandatory relationship law works. It shouldn't be the employee's job to constantly remind the payroll department which specific account receives those funds; that's what they're paid for.
Rebecca Thomas27 said:Oh man... I remember having to deal with that constant scrutiny from my own family, especially my mom, way before I even started showing. 🙄 Seriously, stop staring!! 🙂
Honestly, it actually made me kind of sad when my sister didn't show any interest in my bump. I spend most of my time lying down, so it's not like it's obvious when you're just lounging around. Everyone who comes over to visit the twins expects me to sit up just so they can get a good look at how big I am. I actually sat up once after I finished cleaning up after them, and she didn't even glance my way. My niece, on the other hand, makes sure to take pictures of me every single time, and then she goes and tells her friends how cute it all is and stuff.
But nobody cares about the actual belly itself. Personally, I hate being touched there—I've never liked it. My mom occasionally gives me a little rub, but since I only see her once a month, it doesn't bother me too much. Even my husband won't touch it. I guess if someone actually tried to grab me, I'd probably snap at them just to make it stop. It has never once crossed my mind to reach out and grab a pregnant woman's stomach.
You just reminded me of something, because I constantly get people commenting on me: "Oh, you haven't even gained any weight." I guess they assume that since I’m on strict bed rest and pregnant, I should have already put on like 90 pounds, yet I’m actually still 10 pounds lighter than when I first found out.
It seems like they aren't happy whether we gain weight or stay thin.
And honestly, I never used to deal with any menstrual cramps; I genuinely have no idea what that feels like. No PMS, nothing—just normal days. I suppose that’s why all this pain is hitting me so hard now.
Rebecca Murphy5 said:Honestly, the thing that caught me most off guard was getting hit with those pregnancy contractions... plus there’s this constant, nagging pain—it isn’t exactly excruciating, but it feels like I'm getting these little sharp stabs every few minutes.
See, I never dreamed pregnancy would be this painful. It’s actually pretty brutal for me. I have a fibroid, so that’s adding another layer of misery to the mix. I honestly thought it would just be some light nausea, then your belly grows, you deal with labor, but at least that's over quickly. I never imagined I'd be dealing with this kind of non-stop, awful pain.
George Davis6 said:So far, I’ve done every single test without needing any official referrals—my public OBGYN hasn't even seen me yet, let alone knows I'm pregnant!😁 I assume I’ll eventually have to check in with them at some point because of hospital protocols (I'm guessing you need a referral for that, right? 😕), but until then—everything is strictly private. All the tests, blood type, thyroid stuff... I'm actually heading in this Monday for my glucose test. There is just no way I'm spending my time dragging myself from one clinic to another; I managed to get everything done all in one convenient spot!
Must be nice because I am absolutely broke Last time, even my uncle at the hematology clinic gave me grief because my doctor wrote "blood typing" on the referral when I only needed sensitization testing. I already had my blood type checked at the start, and that test is expensive as hell
I was at the endocrinologist once, and right after the woman ahead of me finished her appointment, she just stepped inside. There was this line of about twenty middle-aged women waiting. The lady who was next in line tried to squeeze through the door at the exact same time I did.
We were both a bit on the heavier side—I mean, I’ve got a bit of a gut myself—and we ended up stuck in the doorway together like something out of a slapstick comedy movie. Neither of us would budge. We actually bumped shoulders a little; I said "excuse me," but she didn't say a word back. But as soon as the nurse spotted me, she jumped up, took my referral, and told me to just wait by the door because I was actually the next one to see the doctor. This was despite the fact that I could see at least 15 names already typed into the monitor as the doctor called people in from the waiting room.
When I finally walked out, the nurse actually came out with me and called a poor pregnant woman, who had been at the very end of that line of ladies, straight inside. The rest of them were absolutely livid, muttering under their breaths about how they hoped nobody else would try to push their way in ahead of them. My husband was waiting outside, so he heard the whole thing. He told me he nearly lost it laughing when he saw that lady and I were stuck fighting for space in the doorway.
Honestly, I don't care. If I know I have priority, I'm taking it.
It’s frustrating that pregnant women don't get priority everywhere they go.
I’ve already got a massive bump, and I’m on strict bed rest because of fibroids and contractions—plus a whole host of other issues. I’m dealing with intense daily pain; even sitting down is a struggle, let alone standing.
When it comes to blood work or urine tests, pregnant women usually get a pass. They either get special referrals or are sent to a dedicated window so they can be seen first. Even at the endocrinologist, the nurse will glance out into the waiting room and call any pregnant woman straight back to the doctor. But at the blood transfusion center, the sign in big bold letters says priority is only for people with disabilities. Last time, I sat there waiting for thirty minutes, literally doubling over in pain on the chair, and absolutely nobody moved to help. It wasn't until a nurse happened to walk by and saw me that she finally pulled me in for my labs.
And the line? It was mostly men in their 30s and 40s just sitting there doing nothing. Honestly, I get them; they don't have a care in the world. But there were women in their 40s in line too—women who actually understand how grueling pregnancy is—and they didn't lift a finger either.
As I was leaving, one of those women whispered to a pregnant lady at the end of the line to just head inside immediately. I guess they felt a little embarrassed seeing that the nurse had to step in to help me.
I’m not someone who complains or looks for handouts; if I have to wait, I’ll wait. But when I’m in actual physical agony, it’s not an option. The poor technician could barely even draw my blood because my arm was shaking uncontrollably from the discomfort. The poor guy actually tried to comfort me because he thought I was just nervous.
Basically, I’m looking to order a nursing bra from eBay. I’m skipping anything with clips because I’m just too clumsy for them; I need those stretchy ones you can just pull on. But now, their sizing is driving me absolutely insane.
I actually found a great one that’s exactly the style I’m after.
I thought a 3XL would be plenty, but then I see it says the bust measurement is only 84cm. An M is listed for a 68cm band. That sounds more like something a sixth grader would wear, not a woman who's actually breastfeeding!!!
For context, my bust measurement is 106cm, and my underbust is 95cm.
What would that translate to in UK sizing? I see they have numbers like 40 or 42. Every single size chart I find online is so confusing that I'm even more lost than when I started.
I used to wear a 95C or D depending on the model—sometimes I even squeezed into an 85. Honestly, why can't they all just agree on a universal sizing system?
Let me give you an example from my own neighborhood. The guy is in his 50s, and while I know finding work used to be a lot easier back in the day, here is how he played it. I think he only finished maybe two years of high school, if that. He got hired at a local cabinetry and flooring company—you know, the kind that does windows, furniture, hardwood, all that stuff. He started out just cleaning the factory floor. Slowly but surely, he started tagging along with the installation crews, helping them carry gear, setting things down, doing the grunt work. Eventually, they showed him the ropes on window installation. It’s not rocket science, right? Today, he’s the top installation expert at the company. Most of the other installers have full high school diplomas and followed almost the exact same career path, but he just worked harder than everyone else. He’s married, too; his wife actually has a college degree and works as an accounting manager for a major corporation. He probably dealt with some life stuff that prevented him from finishing high school properly, but you see that it’s possible to make it anyway. It’s not an excuse; he just had to grind a little harder.
My dad lost his father right when he was supposed to start high school. They eventually found a local manufacturing plant that offered to sponsor his education. In exchange, he had to work for them through high school and for three years after graduation. He worked as a laborer—don't go thinking he was some white-collar executive. That was how he managed to finish school, since my grandmother couldn't afford to fund four kids going to school in a big city like Chicago on her own. It wasn't until he was about 35 that he finally enrolled in college for civil engineering and finished the degree. He was easily the oldest guy in the classroom. People didn't always pursue lifelong education back then like they do now.
Go from company to company and ask for any kind of opening. Around here, there are tons of small shops working with steel or wood; someone has to clean the shop, haul materials, load trucks, move inventory. Once you're inside, keep your eyes open. Ask people to show you how things work. Show genuine interest.
Brenda Chase3 said:Dear forum members, I have some OFFICIAL good news from FINRA: due to a system outage that’s preventing the submission of NASDAQ filings, the deadline for filing has been extended until Sunday, April 6th, 2014.
I actually called FINRA directly regarding some authorization issues, and they passed this information along to me. However, I can't post the formal notice on my website just yet because their teams are still locked out of the system.
Thank God I turned my last one in last week. I knew this was coming.
The folks over at NOAA are driving me absolutely insane. It’s a total joke—employers are drowning in paperwork, filing endless forms and reports left and right, yet NOAA still hasn't even properly processed the data from 2013. What on earth are they actually doing over there all day? People can talk all they want about change, but honestly, once the Democratic Party gets their hands on things, it’ll be more of the same. At this rate, I probably won't see my retirement benefits officially cleared in the system until the end of the decade. That’s likely why they cooked up that whole MPP1 nonsense in the first place. 🙂
The other day, some young guy from the Social Security office gave me a serious spike in blood pressure. I had to send over a specific form for one of my employees—I can't even remember the name because the code changes every single year—but thankfully, they still know how to ask for the '68 version.
I usually just pull one file from my software, list it, and hit send, but this guy insisted on having the exact same form, except he wanted a "4" added to the title instead of the usual code. Apparently, his system wouldn't accept it otherwise. So, I just took the identical form, manually wrote a "4" on it, and sent it right back to him.
Raymond Martinez10 said:Actually, no—for Medicare, you first have to send an email requesting to de-register the employee (assuming they were covered under Medicare), then they’ll get back to you confirming the de-registration, and *then* you can go ahead and register them elsewhere. As for Social Security, I honestly don't know—up until now, I've only ever hired people who were already unemployed. 😉
Regarding Social Security, it used to be...
Can an employer register a worker if their previous boss failed to de-register them?
The agency's system tracks all facts regarding an individual's employment status, including when insurance coverage begins and ends. If a previous employer failed to fulfill their obligation to de-register a worker who has since started a new job, that doesn't stop the new employer from being able to file the necessary paperwork to establish insurance for that employee. In fact, the previous employer still carries the legal responsibility to report the termination of coverage, which the agency will process once that filing is received. The agency won't block a new enrollment just because the former employer hasn't cleared the worker out of the system yet.