Maybe it’s just empathy... But lately, as my perspective keeps expanding, I’m finding it harder and harder to keep track of who’s actually playing what game... Because everyone claims to be the smartest person in the room. The leftists think they're geniuses, the conservatives think they're geniuses, everyone's convinced of their own brilliance...
On a side note—and I probably picked this up from someone somewhere—I love to sing while I’m cooking. But looking at these "Master Chefs" on TV versus the folks cooking in your average local diner? Sorry, buddy, but when I’m in the kitchen, I’m singing, I’m dancing, and I’m making something real. It doesn't taste like some processed, instant, corporate shortcut; it tastes like something I made specifically for myself.
Here’s my take: true knowledge is meant to be passed down. Every other type of information is just a series of logical connections designed to prevent actual transmission. That’s how I see it, anyway. I suppose those "geniuses" might be just a hair smarter than the rest of us🙂
And that’s exactly why our high school teachers should be ranked just a step below university professors. We need them to develop the students, but more importantly, we need them to pass on that core essence...
John Stewart9 said:Yeah, there are a few different reasons for that, but if we’re just talking about your typical, pretty standard, happy childhood—not the heavy, traumatic stuff...
Someone mentioned earlier how, during those early years, we basically soak up our first encounters with both the physical and emotional world, and man, the depth, intensity, and sheer vibrance of those moments are just impossible to replicate. They’re like these synesthetic snapshots that etch themselves deep into our consciousness and end up shaping who we become...
It’s definitely down to how kids perceive things; the big thing is that total lack of existential dread that hits you once you stop being a kid. You kind of lose that innocence the second you realize the weight of things—you know, that fear of death and finality, realizing everything and everyone is fleeting, the randomness of reality, the heavy burden of choice and responsibility, that feeling of being existentially alone, or even the sheer absurdity of wanting something and realizing it’s just impossible... Those are just those raw, intuitive realizations that come with being human, regardless of whatever religion, culture, or ideology someone grows up with...
Sometimes I try to drift back into my own childhood, though it isn't always easy to dig through all the layers of meaning and experience that pile up over the years. It’s like those Proustian moments where a specific taste, a scent, a certain view, an old object, or even a person can suddenly pull you back into the past, making it feel like this parallel reality—almost like a "previous life," as some folks might say. For me, when I see someone wearing traditional rural clothing or hear a thick, old-fashioned Southern accent, it instantly brings me back to my grandma and the small town where I grew up, and then it's just one long chain of associations starting all over again...
I was lucky enough to have a really happy childhood, which is why I feel so much empathy and warmth for people whose childhoods were stolen from them. I have nothing but respect and genuine affection for them...
Memories are the only paradise from which we can never be expelled... (xy)
So now I’m wondering: did I stop being a child the moment I realized my entire future was completely screwed?😁 That the adult world has absolutely no place for me...
I look at today’s media landscape. They say you pass the "maturity test" when you graduate high school. Or when you finish college. Or when you hit sexual maturity. They say you reach adulthood when you...
But nobody ever mentions that true maturity comes when you become a self-reliant, independent person whose opinion actually carries weight. That isn't some milestone you check off a list; we all have that capacity...
You just have to let the older generation decide it's okay. It’s just another stage of growth through experience, I suppose...
And it makes me wonder: what were the foundations of modern America built upon? Was it students fighting tooth and nail for their rights, or students who actually gave a damn about society?
I'm expecting a massive protest. Knowledge isn't a commodity, because apparently, the price of a burger went up by two bucks.🙂
Clearly, these "kids" only start caring when the cost of a Big Mac spikes...
I’m a dreamer, I know. Just a moment ago, I had this dream where I was teaching someone a life lesson, but in the dream, this intellectual youth actually saw the bigger picture. They were ready to risk something meaningful...
But I'm such a fool for saying "knowledge isn't a commodity," when in reality, it’s the most expensive commodity there is... The only people who can truly change this country are students, but unfortunately, they are still the happiest children around.
And some folk singer singing old breakup poems isn't going to change anything; it'll be the total acceptance of neo-capitalism instead. If this generation of students has no intention of growing up, then all we’ll have left are memories of those college days when someone gave an inch... Instead of times when they actually fought to change the future. Because the present isn't just about the future, and if the students aren't the ones writing it, then the adults are doing it for them, aren't they?🙂
Joshua Adams41 said:I’m going to stick to the original post rather than the title, so excuse me if I drift off-topic.
Look, I don't know about kids, but I know damn well I don't live in the "now," and let me tell you, it doesn't make me happy. It just makes me restless, dissatisfied, and completely frustrated... Think about it: how many years do you spend grinding, fighting tooth and nail for your "tomorrow"? And then when that tomorrow finally arrives, where are you? You're right back where you started, still living for the next damn tomorrow... It gets to the point where I just want to tell myself, "I'm done. I can't do this anymore," and honestly? I mean it... The real question I'm hitting myself with is: am I even capable of living in the present anymore? That’s why I ended up using alcohol as an escape from the future... it's the only way I can actually "feel" the present moment...
And then reality hits, I realize I've traded away my entire future, and I sober up... I’ve spent so much time obsessed with what comes next that I don't even think about grabbing a beer; I'm too busy worrying about whether I'll be able to afford diapers down the line...
I know a woman—a mother who has achieved so much in her life, really set herself up for retirement—she has two kids and she’s provided everything for them. But even for her, it’s never enough. She says, "Tomorrow, that wealth gets split in half; I need to secure twice as much."
When I look at people my age today, everyone seems so lost,🙂 still bowing down to the adult world, praying for a future that the older generation will grant them if they just behave themselves...
And then they call *me* emotionally immature... isn't that rich? Calling it "emotional maturity" to kiss the boots of your elders so they'll take care of your future while you waste your youth pretending to live in the moment. That's why I have so much respect for the highly educated—at least the ones who actually understand that knowledge is real power, not just some validation stamped on a piece of paper. Those are the people who were actually looking toward the future (though, obviously, I'd never let them see that).
And honestly, this whole idea of "emotional maturity" would make sense if we had grown up in some old-school socialist federation... but we didn't, believe it or not. So what am I supposed to say? Sorry, old man, but your record was pressed decades ago; we’re playing in MP3 format now.🙂
So when someone asks me if I'm happy, I tell them I'm happy because our doors to the European Union are wide open and we're part of the NATO alliance. Maybe I’m just more tuned in to the present than some older generations who simply can't see it. And maybe I should be happy like a kid—well, back then, all I needed was a ball, and that was it. I don't have a ball anymore, but since July 2013, I've had something much better: the status of an EU Citizen. Someone who hasn't lived in the future has no clue what that means for those of us who actually are.😍
The best part? You hop in a car and all of Europe is yours... It means we aren't just labeled as "the leftovers of Europe" anymore. Rent an apartment, enroll in any college—the collective knowledge of the entire continent is now within reach of every American. Sure, things might get messy, but GOD DAMMIT, I AM AN EU CITIZEN! I'm not a citizen of some fairy tale where some distant relative of a relative explains to me how the world is "supposed" to work! That's why joining the European Union was everything.
John Mendoza13 said:I was sitting there watching some talk show on CNN earlier today, and this guy starts preaching about how the absolute peak of human happiness is found in living purely in the moment. He goes on to claim that children are basically the only ones who actually pull it off, arguing that they’re the happiest beings on the planet because they don't have a single worry in the world under the sun... Do you guys actually buy that? Personally, I find myself nodding along with his logic; there’s something to be said for the idea that kids are the most content because they aren't weighed down by the baggage of the past or paralyzed by whatever uncertainty the future might throw at them...
I’m going to stick to the original post rather than the title, so excuse me if I drift off-topic.
Look, I don't know about kids, but I know damn well I don't live in the "now," and let me tell you, it doesn't make me happy. It just makes me restless, dissatisfied, and completely frustrated... Think about it: how many years do you spend grinding, fighting tooth and nail for your "tomorrow"? And then when that tomorrow finally arrives, where are you? You're right back where you started, still living for the next damn tomorrow... It gets to the point where I just want to tell myself, "I'm done. I can't do this anymore," and honestly? I mean it... The real question I'm hitting myself with is: am I even capable of living in the present anymore? That’s why I ended up using alcohol as an escape from the future... it's the only way I can actually "feel" the present moment...
And then reality hits, I realize I've traded away my entire future, and I sober up... I’ve spent so much time obsessed with what comes next that I don't even think about grabbing a beer; I'm too busy worrying about whether I'll be able to afford diapers down the line...
I know a woman—a mother who has achieved so much in her life, really set herself up for retirement—she has two kids and she’s provided everything for them. But even for her, it’s never enough. She says, "Tomorrow, that wealth gets split in half; I need to secure twice as much."
When I look at people my age today, everyone seems so lost,🙂 still bowing down to the adult world, praying for a future that the older generation will grant them if they just behave themselves...
And then they call *me* emotionally immature... isn't that rich? Calling it "emotional maturity" to kiss the boots of your elders so they'll take care of your future while you waste your youth pretending to live in the moment. That's why I have so much respect for the highly educated—at least the ones who actually understand that knowledge is real power, not just some validation stamped on a piece of paper. Those are the people who were actually looking toward the future (though, obviously, I'd never let them see that).
Look, they love to preach about how we live in a direct democracy, right? Well, someone actually had to cast a vote to put them there. It’s not like they just appointed themselves to office... And honestly, if there are zero consequences for how you use your vote, why should we expect politicians to answer to anyone? Has any single person ever stepped up and taken responsibility for keeping George W. Bush in power for six years? No. So, really, what is there to complain about now?
Just some musings from a lone wolf: Next year, I’m thinking about moving to Cleveland... though maybe I’ll head up to San Francisco or, looking at the map, Carmel-by-the-Sea seems like a pretty interesting spot.🙂 I’ve been part of someone else's upbringing from the ground up, and man, I realized how incredible it is to be woven into someone's life from their very first steps. But you can't force a life like that, nor can you schedule it. I'm not the type of guy who wants to jump from one relationship to the next just for the hell of it.🙂
What am I actually sacrificing if I fall for some girl out in the countryside? I lose my entire existence—this life I've spent years just barely patching together. What does an MIT grad lose after ten years of study, living with his parents, and working some dead-end government job? He loses nothing. He finished school, landed a "high-stakes" position, got married, and he’ll live basically the same life he would have lived single—the only difference shows up once the kids arrive. She’s already settled in with his crowd, and he’s settled into hers.
So what’s my "lone wolf" difference?🙂 I have to walk away from "my" life. The only life I know, the one I built entirely on my own terms. It might be good, it might even be perfect, but it's miles away from anything else. To build a shared life, I’d have to abandon everything I recognize. And that is what it means to be a solo act in life. I recently posted a thread about how miserable I am and how I just can't seem to find a partner, and Matthew Edwards2 replied to me, asking who would ever want to join me if it meant being dragged down with me. But look, I need a partner I can integrate into my solo lifestyle, not someone who becomes my entire world. If I do that, I won't have to give up nearly as much.
I don't know how other soloists feel, but I’m betting they think along these same lines.
Eric Gray2 said:So you gave them life, and now you're taking it away, is that how it works?
Look, I wouldn't go that far, but then again, I probably wouldn't be lecturing a mother on how to raise her kid either—unless the kid is actively becoming a menace to society right this second.
Look, this is just how our culture works—people feel entitled to act like total jerks to anyone they cross paths with, even if it's just through a nasty glare. It’s like, hey, your kid, your life, your choice to grab a sparkling water and light up a cigarette—to me, that sounds a little selfish, though personally, I wouldn't dream of giving you a hard time about your own business. But like I said, we live in a society where people are practically vibrating with excitement just to find something to talk trash about, so don't be too surprised when it happens...
Shame is a powerful thing, truly... Don't you wish everyone was so decent and polite that they actually felt a little embarrassment? Isn't that how it should be!? I’ve lived in massive metropolitan hubs, but lately, I find myself missing the politeness I experienced back in my tiny hometown.
But let’s get to the point: I basically killed off any sense of shame I had back in high school. Joshua Adams41, one point for me. Joshua Adams41, one point. By the third high school I attended: Joshua Adams41, one point—that feeling is officially dead and gone...
The fact remains: shame exists. It’s what pushes us toward being shameless. In our society, whether we're talking about morality or anything else, the biggest disgrace is actually having no shame at all.. There is no greater sin...,,, It’s ridiculous. You see some girl who gets high on a few substances, parties hard with whoever she can find, and then shows up to Sunday service acting like a total saint... But lacking that inner compass? That’s the unforgivable sin... Then you have those "good boys"—they grab a couple of drinks, act out a bit, and suddenly they're the life of the party at a local dive bar. Why don't they feel an ounce of shame while I'm supposed to be carrying the weight of it? And now I look at people like you: just some promiscuous socialite whose husband’s family bought her way through life, while your husband pulls some dead-end job at $1333 working some garbage position..
So, what am I supposed to feel ashamed of when facing people like you? Because you're intellectually superior!? This is why I can't stand living in the middle of nowhere.🙂
And when I try to explain this to people in big cities like New York or Chicago, they don't even believe me.. I mean, seriously, no.🙂
I look at my own behavioral patterns from a completely different angle. I don't care about the messy middle; I only care about the bottom line—was it a "yes" or a "no"? I need to spot what triggers the pattern, sure, but changing the trigger isn't my priority. The outcome is everything. That’s why I view any pattern through the lens of satisfaction versus frustration.
When things go sideways and I hit a "no," I just mitigate the fallout by telling myself, "I had no choice." But when I recognize a pattern forming, I do absolutely everything in my power to ensure the result is a "yes." Nothing else matters. Anything else is just a fast track to trouble. If it ends up being a "no," then I know I did everything possible to stop the pattern, and my internal response is simply, "well, I had no choice."
In short, I'm not interested in micromanaging the causes behind a pattern. I just want to identify it and control the consequence. Honestly, it's a much simpler way to live. Take selling a car, for example. Next time you're dealing with a dealership, don't overthink it. Just look at the result: Did you sell it for the price you wanted? If the answer is "no," then you "had no choice." Now, don't get it twisted—saying "I had no choice" isn't an excuse. Once you see the pattern, there is only one acceptable answer: "yes."
For instance, I realized I was starting to get way too aggressive when discussing a certain topic—not here, obviously, but in my professional life with colleagues. I caught onto it, and even when people tried to bait me into that same conversation two days later, I recognized the loop. Did I become more aggressive? No. I forced a "yes." I didn't waste a single second worrying about my mental state or my emotional processes during that pattern. I cared about the consequence: aggressive communication. I fixed the consequence, therefore I fixed the pattern. That's just how I see the world.
Amy Williams2 said:I’ve struggled with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence my entire life. Because of that, I tend to be emotionally withdrawn. I’ve always viewed others as more valuable, more popular, and just better than me. For the most part, that was true. I usually sat at the bottom of the social ladder, and quite often, I was the one people disliked. I honestly don't know why. I’m actually a very emotional person; I care deeply about people and think about them constantly. I have immense respect for almost everyone, unless they start attacking or bullying me. In those cases, like anyone else, I stand up for myself and fight back.
The difference is, I can't just shrug off an argument like other people do. I don't just forget it in five minutes. Instead, I’m usually left feeling incredibly guilty, like I failed again. It seems I have a conscience, which clearly doesn't mean much to most people.
I’ve dealt with constant mistreatment from certain people, so I eventually stopped trying with them. It always ends the same way: people try to put me down just to feel smarter, more important, or superior. I’ve had an unbelievable amount of bad experiences with people.
I don't know if anyone else here has dealt with as many negative interactions as I have. Most of them stem from me talking too much or reacting too quickly, even though I never actually mean anything malicious (unlike some people). Now, those "other people" are the ones who are socially valued and doing great, while I get ignored by all sorts of people simply because I talk too much or say things that hit too close to home. It’s not that I think poorly of them—actually, it's the opposite—it's just that my mouth moves faster than my brain. By the time I realize what I've said, the damage is done, and they hold it against me forever.
My most recent bad experience happened on the road. Some guy attacked me because I hesitated a second too long when trying to merge onto a highway, even though there was zero chance I could have pulled out safely with the traffic moving that fast. He lashed out at me. I reacted impulsively and nearly got punched in the face. But after that, the responses I got from people on this forum absolutely floored me. They made me question my own sanity. It feels like there are way too many crazies out there protecting one another, especially when it comes to defending someone who violently attacks a woman. Most of the people in that thread seemed to agree that it’s OK for a man to lash out and beat a woman if she flips him off after he’s been harassing her. It used to be considered normal to slap a man if he was being rude or disrespectful, but apparently now you aren't allowed to react to anything he says?
It’s all a calculated move to manipulate you. They stir up conflict just to watch the fallout. They know exactly how much you care, and they count on that empathy—but here's the kicker: they couldn't care less. It’s a game to them. They manufacture the drama, leave you feeling gutted, and then sit back while you deal with the emotional wreckage. It’s cold, plain and simple. Let’s be honest: most people don't actually give a damn. They aren't losing sleep over what you're going through. Instead, they’re just standing on the sidelines, calculating exactly how much they can leverage your situation to get their own way. It’s all about influence, not empathy.
Amy Williams2 said:I’ve struggled with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence my entire life. Because of that, I tend to be emotionally withdrawn. I’ve always viewed others as more valuable, more popular, and just better than me. For the most part, that was true. I usually sat at the bottom of the social ladder, and quite often, I was the one people disliked. I honestly don't know why. I’m actually a very emotional person; I care deeply about people and think about them constantly. I have immense respect for almost everyone, unless they start attacking or bullying me. In those cases, like anyone else, I stand up for myself and fight back.
The difference is, I can't just shrug off an argument like other people do. I don't just forget it in five minutes. Instead, I’m usually left feeling incredibly guilty, like I failed again. It seems I have a conscience, which clearly doesn't mean much to most people.
I’ve dealt with constant mistreatment from certain people, so I eventually stopped trying with them. It always ends the same way: people try to put me down just to feel smarter, more important, or superior. I’ve had an unbelievable amount of bad experiences with people.
I don't know if anyone else here has dealt with as many negative interactions as I have. Most of them stem from me talking too much or reacting too quickly, even though I never actually mean anything malicious (unlike some people). Now, those "other people" are the ones who are socially valued and doing great, while I get ignored by all sorts of people simply because I talk too much or say things that hit too close to home. It’s not that I think poorly of them—actually, it's the opposite—it's just that my mouth moves faster than my brain. By the time I realize what I've said, the damage is done, and they hold it against me forever.
My most recent bad experience happened on the road. Some guy attacked me because I hesitated a second too long when trying to merge onto a highway, even though there was zero chance I could have pulled out safely with the traffic moving that fast. He lashed out at me. I reacted impulsively and nearly got punched in the face. But after that, the responses I got from people on this forum absolutely floored me. They made me question my own sanity. It feels like there are way too many crazies out there protecting one another, especially when it comes to defending someone who violently attacks a woman. Most of the people in that thread seemed to agree that it’s OK for a man to lash out and beat a woman if she flips him off after he’s been harassing her. It used to be considered normal to slap a man if he was being rude or disrespectful, but apparently now you aren't allowed to react to anything he says?
Look, this is just how the majority works. If you aren't one of those people who spends their entire day sucking up to the bosses, they start coming for you. It’s a power trip. They have to find some way to compensate for all that brown-nosing they do, so they target someone like you just to feel important. It’s pathetic. They go as far as they possibly can, and honestly? You just can't get enough.
Amy Williams2 said:I’ve struggled with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence my entire life. Because of that, I tend to be emotionally withdrawn. I’ve always viewed others as more valuable, more popular, and just better than me. For the most part, that was true. I usually sat at the bottom of the social ladder, and quite often, I was the one people disliked. I honestly don't know why. I’m actually a very emotional person; I care deeply about people and think about them constantly. I have immense respect for almost everyone, unless they start attacking or bullying me. In those cases, like anyone else, I stand up for myself and fight back.
The difference is, I can't just shrug off an argument like other people do. I don't just forget it in five minutes. Instead, I’m usually left feeling incredibly guilty, like I failed again. It seems I have a conscience, which clearly doesn't mean much to most people.
I’ve dealt with constant mistreatment from certain people, so I eventually stopped trying with them. It always ends the same way: people try to put me down just to feel smarter, more important, or superior. I’ve had an unbelievable amount of bad experiences with people.
I don't know if anyone else here has dealt with as many negative interactions as I have. Most of them stem from me talking too much or reacting too quickly, even though I never actually mean anything malicious (unlike some people). Now, those "other people" are the ones who are socially valued and doing great, while I get ignored by all sorts of people simply because I talk too much or say things that hit too close to home. It’s not that I think poorly of them—actually, it's the opposite—it's just that my mouth moves faster than my brain. By the time I realize what I've said, the damage is done, and they hold it against me forever.
My most recent bad experience happened on the road. Some guy attacked me because I hesitated a second too long when trying to merge onto a highway, even though there was zero chance I could have pulled out safely with the traffic moving that fast. He lashed out at me. I reacted impulsively and nearly got punched in the face. But after that, the responses I got from people on this forum absolutely floored me. They made me question my own sanity. It feels like there are way too many crazies out there protecting one another, especially when it comes to defending someone who violently attacks a woman. Most of the people in that thread seemed to agree that it’s OK for a man to lash out and beat a woman if she flips him off after he’s been harassing her. It used to be considered normal to slap a man if he was being rude or disrespectful, but apparently now you aren't allowed to react to anything he says?
Social exclusion? Give me a break. You can get totally blacklisted over one single mistake, yet these people spend every waking hour acting like that toward the very people they actually need to stay afloat. It’s pure hypocrisy. And you think you’re any different? Please. For them, this kind of behavior is just Tuesday—it's their baseline, their everyday way of talking. But with you? They won't even bother arguing. They'll just hit the social mute button and leave you drifting in the void.
Look, at the end of the day, most people couldn't care less about what you're doing. Truly. But they’ll work overtime, pull every string, and manipulate the situation until they make sure you feel like it's the only thing that matters. It's a calculated move. They manufacture the concern just to get under your skin.
Just walk away from that kind of nonsense. Honestly, get away from those situations and people immediately. Real power isn't about winning an argument with some lunatic on the street or wasting your precious energy trying to fix someone else's broken life—it’s about having total control over your own. People like that will always have some snarky little comeback ready to knock you down a peg, but they won't have a single cent to help you when you're staring down a million-dollar deficit mid-year. You can't pay your mortgage with their insults. If you spend all your time fighting their battles, you'll end up bankrupt while they're still shouting at nothing. It's just bad math.🙂
Look, I’m right there in the trenches with you. I know exactly what kind of absolute garbage you're dealing with. Look, I try my best to sidestep conflict whenever possible. My goal is to get a handle on these situations before they spiral out of control. I also try to confront people—to basically throw the truth right in their faces about how they’re acting—but I attempt to do it with some level of decency. Of course, that’s easier said than done when my own temperament is constantly fighting against me. It's still a massive struggle.
Look, instead of just flipping someone the bird, why don't you try using a little bit of brainpower to actually get things under control? Because honestly, a genuine smile from a beautiful woman who just got lost in traffic? That’s a much more powerful weapon than any middle finger ever could be. 🙂
I was actually sitting here reflecting on why I’ve ended up flying solo—thinking it was just because of my own specific quirks and hang-ups. Then I read this...
Andrew Doyle said:I’m not going to get involved in a feud with a condescending egoist; that’s a mess for the two of you to sort out... if you even can.
Regarding people and the whole concept of trust... honestly, it is incredibly, painfully difficult. It’s especially hard if you’ve been burned before—and I don't mean just once. I’ll tell you what I know from my own life: thank God I finally met someone who actually had the patience to deal with me. Someone who survived my inner demons, kept his cool, and stayed right by my side despite everything. 😲 He stuck with me even after I practically drove him away because I was terrified. I was scared of commitment, scared of love, scared of actually giving anything to someone else. Honestly, Zeus, I have no idea what I did to deserve it, but I was given the chance to truly be myself and experience a healthy, positive relationship where nobody is trying to tear the other down or hold them back. In fact, we have both become better, more grounded people since we started this journey together.🙂
I was obsessing over this one girl for about six years. I didn't hide it, either. At first, it was pure love, but she rejected it. So, I spent a year hovering around her, just waiting, until I finally gave up. In the end, there was actually a chance for us to be together, but even then... she shut me down again. A few days after we finally had a moment where things could have happened, she just goes, "Come on, just give me your d*** already." And I just said no. In my head, I was thinking: *No way.* I didn't want my two and a half years of devotion to be reduced to just "give me this." That was the moment I hit a wall regarding what a healthy emotional relationship actually looks like. That was the moment I told her no. I kept thinking about her for another four years after that. I stopped terrorizing her with my emotional outbursts and following her around. Looking back, it was pretty toxic. During those first two years when I was actually seeing her, I tried to find someone else. But after six months of dating, we had this massive blowout fight. Why? Because she preferred hanging out with my group of friends rather than spending actual quality time with me. When I told her I wanted more one-on-one time, she just snapped at me: "Oh, so what about that other guy? You think I don't know? You think nobody knows?"
Am I better off alone? I honestly don't know. But even now, I can't tell if she's still stuck in my head (I don't think she is) or if I'm just terrified of history repeating itself. That kind of mental hell—thinking about someone day in and day out for years... You can take everything away from a man, but if you take his peace of mind, you've effectively killed him. That's why every relationship feels like garbage to me now. Even when I start developing feelings for someone, I end up regretting ever meeting them.
It was because of her that I actually developed empathy. Before that, I was a total animal. It's not like I'm a saint now, but back then, every single day spent near her was spent hyper-fixating on her emotional state. Why doesn't she want me? Who does she think she is? How do I get to her?
ruggedtinker9 said:I have been venting about this lack of autonomy for quite some time now, but frankly, I am at a loss as to how one actually escapes this kind of situation. My parents are constantly draining my energy; they have become elderly and increasingly cantankerous, and I simply find it impossible to endure their constant nagging. It feels as though they are trying to exert control over me as if I were still fourteen years old, despite the fact that I am nearing thirty. I suppose I just don't know how to break free from this cycle, though I am certain I am not the only person struggling with such a total lack of independence. One of these days, I fear I might just snap and burn everything to the ground.
Look, nobody wins here. Even when I was living at home, pulling in more money than my old man and contributing more to the household than he did, I was still treated like a child. They raised you. They got you on your feet. And as long as you’re living under their roof, you belong to them. You can dream about having all the freedom in the world, but the second you step foot in their house, their rules take precedence. Period. Either accept the reality of the situation or get out..
It’s one thing to be without someone, but it’s an entirely different beast to have them and still feel like you're alone. Personally, I struggle with the solitude—it hits hard sometimes—but honestly? There’s a massive upside because when I'm on my own, I finally have the freedom to do exactly what I want..................
So, I was reading this theory somewhere suggesting that sleep therapy actually works by essentially killing off a person's REM cycle. It makes sense if you look at it through the lens of REM being that specific "phase" where the brain finally gets to power down. The real issue, then, is when you crash too fast—your brain hits that reset button instantly, and boom, you’re wide awake and wired again. Basically, from what I can gather, the goal should be to maximize actual sleep time while minimizing dream time. This explains why so many people turn to sleeping pills; they knock you out cold, but you barely dream at all.
I don't know, maybe I'm totally off base here. I've just been digging into this topic and trying to connect the dots.
If I push this logic even further—and bear with me here—you could potentially become addicted to the REM phase itself. Every single time you close your eyes, your brain just snaps straight into rest mode.
Look, it’s a matter of culture, sure, but it’s also about how people are raised. From what I’ve observed in this country, kids are basically raised to think they’re somehow superior to everyone else. Nobody ever teaches them to keep their feet planted firmly on the ground. Then, eventually, the illusion starts to crack, and they try to keep that lie alive by belittling anyone who doesn't fit their mold. I don't know why someone would bother putting others down—maybe to make themselves feel better, or to make the present reality easier to stomach. But I don't do that. Not because I'm some saint, mind you, but because I’m such a jerk that I simply couldn't care less about anyone else. I’ve traveled around the States, and more often than not, people target me because I come from a small town and have a bit of an accent. One time, after having a few drinks with my buddies, I completely forgot to switch over to "Standard American." I didn't take it personally, though. In fact, I just turned the whole thing into a joke, and that was that. For instance, I was out in the Midwest once, and this guy started mocking my regional drawl. I just started cracking up, literally rolling on the floor laughing... Everyone stared at me, so I had to explain myself. I told them it was just my version of a "city accent"—it's basically like a Russian trying to speak English with a thick accent and making a total fool of himself in the process. After that, nobody dared touch my accent again. Once they see that their attempts to diminish you actually just entertain you, they stop.
I remember this one time at a club; we knew this girl by sight, but we weren't "high status" enough to be there. She walked straight up to me and my crew and just started pointing fingers aggressively, going, "You, you, and you," basically telling us she didn't want to see our faces in there anymore. I just burst out laughing like a maniac and asked her, "Honey, are you actually sane?" I never saw her again. She made this ridiculous face and vanished instantly.
Maybe people treat belittling others like it's some kind of intellectual game.
Street culture... I mean, it’s honestly unbelievable to me. I was at this event recently when some idiot suddenly starts laughing and pointing right at us. I didn't say anything—I know there are plenty of losers out there who have nothing better to do with their lives. But then one of my buddies couldn't take it. This guy was mocking us, so the third guy in our group snaps back and tells him to come deal with us instead. Honestly, what kind of brainless hillbilly do you have to be to act like that?🙂
Then just a few days ago, I’m driving aimlessly through downtown Chicago, get a text, and decide to reply. I pull into a parking spot, and three guys walk by, laughing like they just saw something hilarious. I’m typing away on my phone, glance in the rearview mirror, and see them staring at my car—maybe even at me. Seriously, tell me: what is so funny about a guy texting in a parking lot? There has to be something funny. There simply has to be. That’s just "our culture" for you... Oh, look! Someone parked a little crooked! Hahaha, how hysterical...
I’d bet my life all three of them live with their parents and that the car they’re walking past belongs to their old man. Because people who actually had to fight for something in their lives don't feel the need to laugh at a guy texting in a parking lot. I move in certain professional circles, and let me tell you, it fascinates me: anyone who decides to actually work for their bread earns my absolute respect. But these guys? They just sit around waiting for the rain to pass, laughing like monkeys...
Not long ago, I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in ages. He had everything handed to him on a silver platter—only child, could have been an astronaut, basically "gifted." I couldn't even look him in the eye. I didn't know what to say, so I just gave him a cold nod. I don't know, seeing all that belittling, that culture of playing small... I felt like telling him, "Who the hell do you think you are?" I mean, look at yourself. You have everything, yet here you are, sitting in your father's car, nearly thirty years old. Part of me really wanted to say it, but I held myself back....
That’s some solid advice regarding empathy right there. Empathy is the ultimate ego killer...
I used to hang out with this guy, seven years my senior, who basically laid it all out for me—told me straight up that I lacked empathy. But honestly? I ended up breaking down in tears when he pointed out how I actually treat people. He either completely crushed me, or he handed me this brand new superpower of understanding. Look, if you don't want to go through a total identity overhaul from Alpha to Omega, you might as well just stay exactly as you are and accept your flaws. But why was I such an easy target for this realization? I have no clue. I guess I was always primed for it; I just needed someone to give me that final shove. So, bottom line: if you don't want to be an arrogant jerk, you have to be willing to step into a whole different world.🙂
bluejackal7 said:I’m starting this thread because I’ve reached a point where nothing makes sense anymore. Since I was a kid, it’s been the same old lecture from everyone around me—parents, teachers, whatever. You need straight A's in school, don't touch a cigarette, stay away from drugs, God forbid, behave yourself, pick up a bunch of hobbies, learn foreign languages, stay active in sports, be polite, be smart, listen to "cultured" music, watch "important" movies, do this and do that. Otherwise, you're told you'll end up nowhere and never be happy or satisfied with life... Then I look around at all these people who followed the script perfectly. They're totally programmed, and honestly? Most of them aren't even happy. Then there's me. People judge me because I drink, I smoke, I go out, I don't have a college degree, and I don't have a list of impressive hobbies. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops to stay busy. But I’ve had great relationships, I have a solid group of friends, and I make decent money—actually, more than some people with Ivy League degrees. I’m completely content. I'm not frustrated. I just live my life how I want to. Meanwhile, these "perfect" types can barely find a date—I mean, they post on social media about how successful and fulfilled they are, yet they can't find anyone. They don't go out, they don't socialize, they don't actually enjoy anything. So, what's the point? Why go through all that effort if it doesn't lead to happiness? I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but I'm curious about the general pattern. Can someone explain this? I figure some people here might understand the psychology behind it better than I do.
They're doing it for the future. A lot of people pay a massive price today just to secure something for tomorrow.
The ones who think they’ve "made it" by forcing themselves into a specific lifestyle often realize they’re missing things others have. It’s incredibly hard to bridge that gap, and they refuse to admit that the void they feel is actually the price they had to pay to get what they wanted. That's why I think we see so much frustration from people who meet every societal standard of success but still walk around feeling totally unfulfilled.
Why don't you just pack up and move out of Washington, D.C.? From what I can tell, you haven't even been showing up to your lectures lately. Just head back home and figure out your next move from there. Change is good....