Posts by Edward Howard2

rustydrifter10 said:Honestly, I think some of my girls would be more than happy to hang out for a few hours after seeing something like that!

I definitely envision her the same way. 😬

We've got quite a few sheriffs in this story, though—which one are you eyeing? 😁

Maybe we could whip something up combining this:

Glad to see you caught wind of the rumors too, ma'am—turns out calling Edward Howard2 "Fast" in bed isn't quite accurate.😁

Alright, we've got a deal... 🙂
Now let's see @templarski actually walk the walk... and hey, if you could throw in some juicy details, that'd be great... 🤣

We've got plenty of sheriffs around, which one are you talking about?😁

If I'm following this correctly... there's only one real Sheriff Pangloss over in Tamburel. Everyone else is just a deputy who has to stay on the straight and narrow because of his orders.😂
And since Sheriff Dorian is hanging out in the next town over in Padock, the best you can do is maybe call him on a hotline via telegraph.😁

Jason Campbell70 said:We all know who the truly magnificent one on this subforum is.

just look at what our "legend" Edward Howard2 is up to



while the other guy—who isn't quite as legendary—is jumping around like a cat and running away from Fortinbras... 😁 running from Fortinbras... 😂

swifttiger75 said:Stepping out onto the saloon porch, John Doe met John Doe's stare. With a sudden, cat-like agility, he lunged into the street, rolled, popped back up, and sprinted full tilt toward John Doe's brothel. John Doe burst through the doors with the sheriff and shadowstag10 hot on his heels. The End Co.'s crowd exchanged confused glances for a split second before erupting into delirious laughter. Saw was already at the brothel entrance when John Doe fired—but the bullet just bit into the wooden wall. John Doe screamed, sprinting back toward the saloon. Once inside the brothel, John Doe drew his Colt and headed for the stairs. Hearing the shot, Kimi#1 pulled his pistols and ran toward the building. John Doe approached the exit, watching the chaos unfold. With an ironic smirk, he turned to the crowd, gesturing for them to move toward Microsoft. However, Edward Howard2 was already standing on the steps, Colts in hand.

- It’s hardly polite to make such a racket. You're insulting me as a guest of your town... - he began.
- So, I’ll ask you nicely to vacate the saloon—with a decent compensation, of course. - he finished, pausing on the third step.
- Ha... ha-ha-ha!!! - John Doe was the first to laugh, and then the rest joined in.
- You, since you started laughing first... you're my first target. - Edward Howard2 said coldly, leveling his pistol at John Doe.
- Then those two standing, and then the ones sitting, because they'll take a little longer to go down... - he continued, pointing his gun at every single target he mentioned.
- Finally, I'll leave the guy in the corner by the piano, Unknown. He might have enough time to fire back... but by then, he'll probably have wet himself from fear, so even if he does shoot, he'll surely miss... - Edward Howard2 concluded his speech while staring at the stunned faces of The End Co.'s people
. - Still... if any of you is smart enough to head for the door, I promise I won't shoot you in the back. And... bartender, I suggest you duck. - he added, simultaneously cocking his revolvers.
- Tell your mother to duck! - Rain snapped.

For a moment or two, everyone just stared. Then, a gunshot from outside triggered a chain reaction. Bang, bang, bang... bang, bang, bang, bang... bang... pew, bang!

The gunfire from the saloon caught John Doe


To be continued...

Pure perfection. 🙏🙏🙏

I went through eight of them like it was nothing. Just a total joke. 🙂

swifttiger75 said:The train was slowing down as it pulled into the station. Wisps of steam drifted up, vanishing into thin air and giving the sunset this weird, mystical vibe. A few passengers hopped off, and then finally, he appeared— Edward Howard2Stepping off the train, he just headed straight for the salon—completely blowing off the Boss. The End And a handful of his guys.

"Hey... you!" he shouted. The End za MAXYMOM
"Hey—wait!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

No. Edward Howard2 He just kept walking steadily, moving further away from the station. All he could hear was the sound of tension— I don't know what you're trying to get at with that—just being vague isn't much of a conversation starter. Colta made him stop.

"How much are you paying these losers?" he asked. Edward Howard2 The End He turned his back.
"Dollar... maybe two a day... depends..." — he stopped mid-sentence. The End Nah, he didn't even manage to finish the sentence.

Edward Howard2 He spun around lightning-fast—two shots fired. sajko boba He didn't even have time to react. He let his gun slip from his hands and collapsed to his knees—before finally hitting the dusty ground under the train station, motionless. Frank He didn't even reach for his gun—he was just caught off guard by how fast things went down. The End He stepped back a few paces, looking completely bewildered.

"Look... I already saved you a few bucks. I’d call that a pretty decent start to our partnership. Right?" he asked. The End Putting the gun back in the holster.
"Yeah... yeah... I guess you could say that..." he stammered. The End
Alright then. We'll hammer out the details tomorrow after breakfast. I'll be staying in the room above the Salun. Hope the lady is doing okay. rustydrifter10 He’s still out there picking his beauties...
"Of course... tomorrow..." — he was still in total shock. The End

Turning around— Edward Howard2 He kept walking toward the Salun. Pila He watched the whole thing unfold from the rear car—then he jumped off the train and vanished into a side alley.

"Did you see this?" he asked. Express train accident.Yeah, he was sleeping the dream of the righteous—with that exact same smile on his face.

"Get everyone together and head down to the salon," he ordered. Frank—The End
"Got it, Boss!" — he replied. Frank Already walking down the street—
"This kid lets people walk all over him way too much..." the Boss muttered under his breath. The End

A little later on, they caught him in town too— WayOut, graniteharbor502 te RtzuiopStopping right in front of the prison, Rtzuiop He leaned over the wooden trough—just letting it all out, completely unaware. Mazgoon Into the water. He finally came to, stumbling around in a complete daze—half-confused, half-screaming—trying to find his footing. That's when someone appeared at the door. PanglossGave a friendly wave to— WayOut He gave the others a quick rundown on what’s been going down lately in... Park City And around here, while it's... Rtzuiop Locked it down. Mazgoon Lock him up.

"Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do for you," he said. Pangloss Fiddling with a stray lock of hair peeking out from under his hat.
I simply don't have any people—and honestly, I can barely keep my own head above water as it is. The Endov It was a mess. — he finished.
"Total crap..." he muttered. graniteharbor502.
Yeah, you’re wasting your time—your badge doesn't mean a thing around here. Way— he added.
"There’s gotta be a solution... something... there just has to be..." he muttered, thinking out loud with a hint of nervous energy. WayOut Pacing around the room.
"Well..." he started— Pangloss
"If you two step up, you could be my deputies. That would change the whole dynamic," he added, glancing over. graniteharbor502 I'm ready. Send over the text you need me to rewrite. Rtzuiopa

( graniteharbor502 i Rtzuiop Now you have to decide whether or not to take the offer. If they say yes, there's no turning back—you're in. John DoeLook, if you decide to decline, you’re free to do whatever you want—but just so we're clear, you don't have any authority to use force. Unless it's self-defense, obviously.

It continues...

this one went down a little earlier than expected... 🙏🙏

really hoping everyone else will just leave me alone for a bit now so I can focus on making a lady's day a little brighter... 😁

I'm gonna crash in the room upstairs from the saloon. Hopefully, madam rustydrifter10 is still being picky about which beauties she picks out...

honestly, after all these episodes, it feels like it's finally time for an episode with some actual spicy scenes... 😍

but man... I was really hoping I'd get a chance to check out some local beauties, but it looks like they've imported everyone from other states... 🤣

swifttiger75 said:Unlike Paddington, who viewed this as a peaceful little town right up until the recent chaos, Tamburelo was a den of sin. A massive saloon, a casino, and the brothel run by Madam Nice—even the train station itself—gave this place its momentum. It acted as a magnet for every kind of opportunist, making life in Tamburelo sweet, though often short-lived. Sheriff Pangloss has already posted notices looking for deputies twice in the last month. (If you want in on this, step up)

Mr. The End, a local powerhouse who uses his crew to terrorize local ranchers into selling their land cheap, stood at the station waiting for the fast MAXYMA—perhaps the quickest gunslinger in these parts. The train was late, as usual, and Mr. The End was losing patience. He knew MAXYMA's services wouldn't come cheap, but he needed them for what he had planned. Especially after being turned down by Kimi, the most famous bounty hunter from this side of Ria Spa.

"Where the hell is that train!" The End muttered to himself, pacing the platform nervously.
"It’s only natural it's running late, boss..." Jamie Barnes15 tried to suck up to him.
"Natural? Nothing in this town is natural!!!" The End snapped.
"Probably that conductor Sean Smith5 got drunk again and forgot to shovel the coal," Franem remarked ironically.
"If that's actually the case, I want him taught a lesson!" The End barked.
"With pleasure, boss," Jamie Barnes15 replied.

Meanwhile, Sean Smith5 was casually tipping back a nearly empty bottle, letting the wind hit his face. His assistant, brightwolf48, pulled the whistle cord to signal their imminent arrival in Tamburelo. The shrill screech of steam echoed through the valley...

To be continued...

Fast Edward Howard2... 😎 The fastest gunslinger in the States. 🙂

Wild Bill Hickok, Doc Holliday, Billy the Kid, Wild West Max—every legendary gunslinger has that one nickname that sticks to them like glue. Every icon needs a handle. ☕ Honestly, I could've easily gone with "Edward Howard2 the Magnificent," but hey, I guess I can live with this one. No complaints here!

Since I’m officially the fastest gunslinger in the West, I'm pretty much counting on my VIP seat in the final showdown... 😁
I really hope I can turn into someone like William Munny from *Unforgiven*. You know, that classic hired gun with a gritty past who ends up actually having a heart of gold—a guy fighting for justice and eventually taking down some corrupt, crooked sheriff. That's the dream. 🤣

I’ve gotta say, that whole thing swifttiger75 was cooking up is honestly such a vibe. It’s also killer how WayOut was basically calling the shots on how the chase would go down—it really pulls you right into the action, making you feel like you're part of the story. I’m seriously hoping we get more moments like that, where the main characters actually have to make those split-second calls that shift the entire direction of the plot. That kind of stuff keeps me hooked!
For instance... I might end up having some kind of final decision to make when we settle everything up. 😁, which would probably go something like this...

Edward Howard2 is standing face-to-face with the Sheriff, taking one last drag from his cigarette. He’s holding a revolver in each hand, and each one only has a single bullet left. He already burned through ten rounds clearing out the Sheriff's sidekicks—those minor players like tbfa, Paskaneman, graniteharbor502, Kimmy #1, Bjesomara, Philip, Nathan Jones98, Sepu, and Mazgoon. Turns out Mazgoon was actually a former Sheriff from a small town near the Monza racetrack, but he bailed after getting fed up with local gangs filling up the jails, so he started making a living as a mail carrier instead. Now, anyone paying close attention would probably notice something a bit off: Edward Howard2 only killed nine people but used ten bullets. That’s pretty weird for a gunslinger with a reputation for being deadshot. But anyway, during the shootout, graniteharbor502 took the first hit right in the left ear. He hit the dirt immediately, thrashing around and screaming in pain, rolling around in the dust. Being the kind soul he is, Edward Howard2 decided to end that suffering by putting a second bullet right between his eyes. Honestly, he finished off all the others with that same surgical precision, straight to the forehead. So, here we are at the final showdown near the 130 Corals. On one side, you've got Edward Howard2, and on the other, there's WayOut, William Bennett53, and Pangloss. In that split second, Max is weighing a massive decision... which two of these loudmouthed Sheriffs is he going to send to the grave since he's down to his last two bullets? Does he go with his gut and take out the two he likes the least, or does he play it smart and target the two who aren't as fast?

And hey, don't let my made-up ending get you guys down... this is just how I see things playing out. I'm sure swifttiger75 has a totally different vision for how this goes. Honestly, at this rate, some of these characters might not even make it to the final showdown. Like, what if darkmarlin16 actually lands a shot right in the backside and the guy dies from an infection before the big finale even happens? 🤷 Who knows how things will actually go down... 🤷

graniteharbor502 said:Looks like you missed the rulebook again:
40.13 When the official decides it is safe to deploy the pace car the message "SAFETY CAR IN THIS LAP" will be displayed on the timing monitors and the car's orange lights will be extinguished This will be the signal to the teams and drivers that it will be entering the pit lane at the end of that lap.
At this point the first car in line behind the safety car may dictate the pace and, if necessary, fall more than ten car lengths behind it.

And clearly, your English isn't quite there either:
if necessary?

The folks over at RAI think that whole situation was super sketchy and totally ambiguous. ☕

They really should've slapped him with a penalty just to be safe, then they could've argued about whether it was right later. ☕

Hey guys... do you think the official messed up again by ignoring that 10-car length rule? 🍿

man, things are getting pretty wild in here today 🍿

ooooh... thank god you're named Alonso... 🙏🙏🙏

David Anderson72 said:Adrian is basically the F1 GOAT🙏

👍

huge props to the legend Newey 🙏
you've gotta give credit where it's due and respect a true champion 🙏

I'll probably be adding 2013 to my signature pretty soon too... 🙏

The crowd was absolutely booing the whole scam, but even the maestro couldn't help himself—he flashed a little grin right at that moment 😁

Sergio Pérez 🙏

Let's go get that win 🙂

The maestro is pulling two seconds on Hulk, Perez, Jenson Button, and Kimi, all while running the exact same old tires 🙏
OMG, what a driver 🙏

Team rules in the locker room 🤮

Let Max take the wheel 🙏

The maestro is absolutely flying 🙏🙏

Maestro is back at it again with the usual routine 🙏🙏🙏🙏

darkmarlin16 said:I honestly think Gutierrez was just cruising today, definitely not driving at his full potential.

Man, darkmarlin16... you are just straight up tripping... 🙏

The real question though... do we want to watch Newey tear into the crew, or should we stick around to see Stroll boss around Marassa? 🤔

graniteharbor502 said:Are you perhaps referring to this incident here:

I haven't sat through the whole replay yet, but looking at this photo, I don't think there's any reason for a penalty since Kimi didn't actually go off track...
Kimi is just hugging the line here, and the line is definitely still part of the track.

Raymond Anderson4 said:If he wants to be remembered as someone who expects a royal court to cater to his every whim, then fine, let him have it.
Personally, I couldn't care less... but people are going to stop buying into this myth of him being some otherworldly driver if he keeps acting like this.
Go check out the Ford thread over on ESPN; the fans there are losing their minds over him, while his die-hard supporters are busy posting deep philosophical pleas for everyone to just give Massino a break.

darkmarlin16 said:the Stars and Stripes 👍

Fans are out there chanting for the Maestro 🙏

Thanks for the heads-up, The_End, but no worries here. We already know exactly how ruggedhawk20 feels about the teacher... and we didn't even need to trek over to the Ferrari thread to find out. 😍

Just hearing "Alonso, Alonso!", all the cheering, and the clapping... 🙏

And yeah, we also heard what ruggedhawk20 thinks about the finger... the boos and the "booooooooo"... honestly, at this point, it's basically become a routine. 😂

stormybadger8 said:How are they not related?
In both cases, you have a driver staying on track being pushed wide by the guy trying to pass him...

The big difference is that Massa shoved Grosjean completely off, whereas Webber gave Alonso a little more room—though still not enough for Alonso to keep all four wheels on the asphalt. Whether it's 4 wheels or 2 wheels off is just the result of that contact...

So, I really don't see how the guy being pushed is at fault here...
And regarding passing with two wheels off? Just look at Indy—they used to penalize that and order drivers to give positions back back in 2008. I was actually rewatching that race today.

Several drivers in basically identical Alonso/Webber situations (just two wheels off, if I remember correctly, maybe even the exact same corner) were ordered by the FIA to hand those positions back.😉

So why does the Maestro need to have all four wheels on the track?
4 wheels on track = 3 wheels on track = 2 wheels on track = 1 wheel on track
There’s zero difference between those four scenarios.

So it has nothing to do with Grosjean, who had basically zero wheels on the track.

If you're looking for an actual comparison, look at the Maestro vs Perez in Monaco. When Perez charged in like a total maniac and shoved the Maestro off, the Maestro ended up with all four wheels off the track and was penalized so he had to let Perez past, even though he was ahead before the battle.
If they had let Grosjean go without any consequences, *that* would have been a real inconsistency.

Raymond Thomas5 said:We’re going to need a bit of luck—and maybe a few DNFs from Seb or something to win the championship

Fernando Alonso admitted he needs his Formula 1 title rival Sebastian Vettel to run into some trouble during the rest of the season
if he actually wants a shot at that 2013 championship.//
Maestro

me?
The guy is just saying out loud what everyone else is thinking and praying for, but they don't have the guts to actually admit it... and hey, here's two aces up his sleeve for that... 🙏🙏

Look, I also want to see the car break down in at least three more races before the season ends, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I could probably name five or six people on this forum who would jump for joy if I did, or even smile if Maestro ended up retiring. Everyone acts way holier-than-thou, but whatever... no point getting into that here... 😁

graniteharbor502 said:A significant portion of your argument holds weight, I suppose. It seems to me that Lewis Hamilton's race was fundamentally compromised by yesterday's chaotic turn of events during Q2, for which he himself bears at least partial responsibility—though he did step up and take the blame. However, what truly occupies my thoughts is how much satisfaction the fans of Fernando Alonso can actually derive from today's performance. Is it not possible that, within a Ferrari of this caliber, Nico Hulkenberg might have proven to be a far more formidable competitor than Fernando Alonso himself?

Personally, I'm pretty stoked with how Maestro drove today. Against that super-dominant Newey-designed machine, there wasn't much anyone could do.

It’s such a shame they didn't pull Maestro into the pits before the puncture to try something different, but let's be real—the tire probably would've given up on the very next lap anyway, and Maestro wouldn't have been able to make up that massive 5-second gap in a single lap.

stormybadger8 said:Seriously, a brilliant move that every single one of those geniuses deserves. 👍

There’s one thing that absolutely drives me crazy about that move—well, not even him directly, just all the mess swirling around him because of it.

From what I saw, he was taken out by a wheel off the track... not entirely sure if it was both cars or just one of them. 🤷
Don't get me wrong—I’m not saying he deserved that penalty. Not even in his wildest dreams, regardless of whether both wheels were off the track or not. Honestly, the move was brilliant. If anyone deserved a penalty there, it would've been Mark Webber for pushing him out, not Fernando Alonso.

I’m honestly sick of this damn inconsistent officiating. They absolutely screwed Romain Grosjean over with that pit lane penalty—he didn't deserve that move in the duel one bit.👎
And just like that, it popped up on the screen for everyone to see...

Seriously, it’s high time someone called these guys out and actually did something about it.😳

I can't even begin to process this. Give me a break. stormybadger8 says:
Red Bull Racing is absolutely killing it.🙏
Two cars, under three seconds, all within a thirty-second window. Just do it. 🙏

What an incredible lineup. Honestly, there isn't a better group on the grid. 🙏
All they got for it was a podium spot for Webber, maybe even handing Vettel the win on a silver platter...
If Alonso hadn't wasted all that energy babysitting Mark Webber, he might have actually had a shot at catching Sebastian Vettel.

The issue isn't the refs; it's the people bashing them without having a clue how the basic F1 rules actually work.

I feel like I've spent half this season explaining when a driver is actually off-track versus staying within the lines, but hey, whatever... let me break it down again using the Grosjean/Massa and Maestro/Webber examples...

Grosjean overtaking Massa


Maestro overtaking Webber


So, what's the takeaway here?
In the first shot, you see Grosjean with all four wheels way past the white line marking the edge of the track. That means he clearly left the circuit while passing Massa, which breaks FIA rules, making his penalty totally justified.

In the second shot, you see Maestro crossing the white line with maybe one or two wheels, while the other two stay on the asphalt. Per FIA regulations, that counts as being on the track, so there’s no reason for a penalty, which is why nothing happened and nobody even debated it.

Bottom line... what does one situation have to do with the other to claim the refs are being inconsistent? Absolutely nothing. 🤣