Posts by redpilot37

Why on earth am I being charged delivery fees for certain cities when the package I sent—which isn't even due until the 18th—ended up costing me $25? Can't people just swing by the local Post Office to pick it up themselves? Every single time, the lady at the counter charges me extra. She just tells me that’s how the system is set up and the shipping fee is mandatory. I'm doing all the packing myself at home, too. So $2.25 when is it ever actually $3.25? Why does this happen? Does anyone know what's going on. thanks

northerncobra27 said:I think I finally wrap my head around how we end up raising these little materialists—kids who seem to think life is just a scoreboard measuring what someone’s wearing, what kind of shoes they have on, what they’re eating, whether their phone is the latest iPhone, or how much cash is sitting in their parents' bank account. It all stems from this deep-seated idea that must be kept in lockstep with everyone else, where not having the exact same things feels like a crushing sense of shame. Honestly, if you're wired that way, maybe it's better to keep your kids away from the spotlight, because otherwise, you're just setting them up for a lifetime of feeling inadequate. And I don't mean that parents are making them miserable on purpose; it’s more about society at large—it's those of us who, often without even realizing it and usually with the best intentions, inadvertently teach our children to look down on anyone who lives differently or doesn't have the same status symbols. Because in this mindset, there's this unspoken rule that you have to match the crowd, and if you don't, you're somehow failing or worthy of judgment, which just isn't right.

To anyone who feels like I've missed the mark, please, before you jump in to correct me, take a moment to read through this whole thread once more.

That’s called stigmatization.
That’s why I say the most important thing for a kid is the warmth of their home and their parents. Values come from the home. The world might try to bend them, but it won't break them.
The suit isn't more important than the man—it's the man inside the suit.

It’s not some huge tragedy. It happened, let's move on. You just need to talk it out, nothing more. Why bother boiling over or feeling hurt, ashamed, or bitter? For what? We’re only human. We make mistakes, even when we mean well.

Kenneth Brown5 said:I’d just insist they eat sandwiches or maybe just pack $6.75🤷

True. You have to reach an agreement with the kid, too.

Donna James4 said:I’ve been skimming through the thread. All I want to say is that the teacher probably just gave her a vague suggestion—like, "just take it now and your mom will pay you back later," or something along those lines—just so the kid doesn't feel awkward about taking the money.

Check the last page. Mom says she pulled him aside by the sleeve and specifically asked for the money back... what an awkward situation.

In my opinion, Mom needs to talk to both the teacher and the kid. It was just a misunderstanding. I’d go ahead and pay them back right now, then make sure to say—look, please don't feel like you need to buy my son sandwiches. I'd really appreciate it if you could just let me know if you're planning on heading out somewhere. Thanks.

urbanpilot said:I still remember those Red Cross drives from back when I was just a kid during the war years—back then, people actually stepped up and gave even more.
Now, they’re asking $1.75 from kids, while most adults don't bother. When I was in school, we used to go door-to-door, collecting cash, food, clothes... and it went directly to the people who actually needed the help.

Look, I don't mind helping someone out who's struggling—I don't exactly have money to burn myself—but at least you should know where the help is going. Too often, it doesn't even reach the people who truly need it.

That's why I don't give anything to the people knocking on my door. Instead, every Christmas or Easter, a few friends and I pick one specific family to visit. We see exactly what they need, buy it ourselves, and drop it off. That way, I know it actually ended up in the right hands.

Around here, the Red Cross collects at schools and goes door-to-door too. We donated both ways when the kids were out collecting, and I didn't regret it one bit. Good deeds come back to you. But later, I saw those same kids buying snacks and just fooling around in the streets. You can't really know where the money comes from, but it felt pretty rude and wild. They're wearing those Red Cross shirts, collecting money, and then just messing around.
I once gave a dollar to a guy begging on the street during a big festival downtown. It wasn't much, but it matters to someone. I didn't stop to wonder if he was faking it or whatever. He had a limp, looked disabled... and he blessed me as I walked by. I guess whatever he does next is on his own conscience.

analognomad59 said:Yeah, sure, but have you ever actually felt like an outsider? Like, everyone goes to a theme park in Orlando, and then for three days after, they're still talking about it. Then they move on to some trip to the Grand Canyon, and for two weeks, the whole group is rehashing every little thing that happened. Then there's that summer trip to the coast, and suddenly the entire class has this shared set of inside jokes and stories that define them for the next month, and you're just standing there with zero clue what's going on. You take your family trips to the Rockies, sure, but you tell those stories to your two best friends in one afternoon. The stuff that happens on a class trip to Yellowstone? That becomes the legend for the rest of the year. If you miss those big moments—the mountain trips, the beach trips, whatever—you end up being totally out of the loop half the time while the rest of the class is bonding over things you weren't even part of...👎

I think you're wrong there. It did happen to me, and looking back now that I'm an adult, I can see it didn't shape who I am... and it clearly wasn't a tragedy for my kid either.🤷
It really just comes down to how you were raised and the opportunities you had.

Jason Ortiz5 said:The truth is, kids feel the weight of their family's finances whether we want them to or not, simply because they see what their classmates can afford. The real question is: should we be teaching them that it's shameful not to have enough cash for everything (especially when this specific thing is totally useless)? Should a mom have to go into debt just so a teacher doesn't end up having to tell the class, "Hey, even sandwiches are a luxury"? Should parents have to fund every single school whim just so a kid doesn't feel the gap between those who have it easy and those who don't? Honestly, instead of hiding the struggle, isn't it better to teach a child that there's no shame in living honestly on what you've got?

Personally, I think pretending to be a Rockefeller when you aren't is absurd. It's not a tragedy if you can't swing a McShit burger or a big trip to Disney World. What matters way more is our relationship with our kid and how they feel at home—love, connection, all that stuff. Money and McDonald's are secondary.
If we make a huge production out of it, our kids will too. If we don't make it a big deal, they won't see it as a tragedy either.
My little girl is modest and grateful; she doesn't care about the material stuff. Honestly, she's more mature than most kids her age because of it.
And then there are the stories of people maxing out credit cards just so their kid "doesn't feel left out," or being told they owe something because they weren't careful, or feeling forced into things after having a baby... my take is simple: a child cannot have everything. It’s actually good for them to realize that early on, before they grow up expecting everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.
And if you don't have the cash, there is zero shame in that.
One more thing... no amount of money can buy the love or that sense of security we provide through just five minutes of real conversation
when we explain why things are the way they are.

copperheron18 said:Good grief, the sheer volume of comments here is staggering. I can’t say I’m surprised that nobody wants to pursue a degree that leads to a career in education—whether you're aiming to be a teacher or a professor lately.🙄

From what I understand, kids generally enjoy going to the theater, the movies, field trips, or even hitting up McDonald's... personally, I loved those things when I was their age. But teachers often seem reluctant to lead these excursions. It makes sense, doesn't it? Nobody actually wants to shoulder the heavy responsibility of babysitting a massive group of someone else's children.

The costs for these trips aren't astronomical, and most families can swing them. For those who can't afford it but still want their child to participate, there are always options for funding through agencies or simply via small individual contributions.

If anyone truly believes that field trips are excessive, unnecessary, or lack educational value—and therefore feels absolutely no obligation to send their child—well, they shouldn't. No one is going to force them. However, one has to wonder how that child will feel. They'll likely end up miserable because Mom won't let them go see Harry Potter at the cinema while everyone else is heading out. At that point, it’s up to that parent to explain to their child why they consider such experiences "unproductive."

I honestly don't see the point in debating whether there are too many trips. If you feel that way, just don't send your kid. Simple as that; no one can compel you otherwise. As for those comments suggesting professors are just using these trips to line their own pockets, I won't even dignify them with a response. They radiate such a level of primitive cynicism that they aren't even worth the breath.

That's just how it works. We aren't packing up the whole school for a three-day trek. Instead, my husband and I will just drive up to a mountain town once a winter when it snows and we'll all enjoy it together.
Who would actually try to charge for all those big trips? Nobody makes a scene. If someone feels guilty about it, that's their own business.

Kimberly Robinson2 said:Thanks.
Just to be crystal clear regarding the Mac situation, I’ve already laid out all the details. If you actually read what I wrote, you won't need to ask.

As for the internet, we don't have a landline, DSL, or any cable package—we just rely on a USB dongle. It's a 5GB plan from Verizon $33 per month, $37 and honestly, I don't even pay for it; my boyfriend covers it. But living without internet these days is nearly impossible—there are always school assignments to download, digital books to grab ( 😁), plus I run a little side business selling things online—which brings in enough cash here and there to cover the monthly data bill. I also use it for music promotion. On top of that, I’m job hunting through email and sending out applications online (I save money by skipping the physical newspapers and classified ads), and I read all my news digitally since we don't bother buying print anything anymore.

Hopefully, that shuts down any more "But why?" or "How come?" questions.😉😉

To me, buying magazines or sending expensive texts costs way more than paying for the internet, which—let's be honest—is a necessity... the other day my daughter had a school trip about nature and coastal elevations... if we didn't have internet, neither of us would have known the answer. Bottom line: you need internet. More than a cell phone, honestly.🙂
I hear you. People who don't get it just don't get it.

Kimberly Robinson2 said:Like I already said, she found out while she was actually buying his lunch. And she was pissed because they didn't even ask for parental permission—they just did it on the sly, tucked away under a desk or something. It’s just not right.

And again, I’ve made my point: my kid is officially off the hook for kitchen duty now. I figure if I hand over the cash, the teacher can just check with the school office to see how I can afford McDonald's but apparently don't have enough for the kitchen fees!

The kitchen fee is probably $80 or $30, I can't remember the exact amount, but this whole trip is only about $60 total. That's practically the same price as the kitchen fee, and honestly, he'll end up eating most of it anyway. Even if he's a tiny thing—what, under 65 pounds?—it still adds up. 😢

It's a double-edged Mac.

We get free school meals for our kid, yet nobody asks where I'm getting the money for $17 the field trip... I want my child to experience this, and if I have the money, I'll spend it. I'm not worrying about what people might say.

At our PTA meetings, we actually debate things. We discuss whether we agree or disagree on everything except the mandatory stuff already set in the curriculum—you know, the "this is required" rules. How many times have I seen parents just sit there, muttering under their breath? I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, but I’m not staying quiet. It’s my life, my kid, and my decisions. When they ask if anyone has questions, I’m raising my hand. If something isn't clear or if I have an opinion, I say it. Honestly, there's a lot of responsibility on us parents.
But like Luna said, nothing changes by staying silent.
Why is silence still such a thing in our society? Why do we act like someone else is going to step up and fix everything? They won't. Change starts with us.
If there's something that needs to be said, we're the ones who should say it.

Jamie Hill18 said:So, I guess all those school field trips during the year really need to be officially listed in the annual curriculum and program that gets approved right at the start of the school year, and they definitely have to have a legitimate educational purpose or some kind of reason behind them, especially if they're organizing trips outside of our local town. If anything were to happen while the kids are out on one of those trips, the school basically needs to have total coverage explaining why they went and where they were headed, because if a trip isn't part of the official yearly program and teachers decide to take students along anyway, the school could end up facing some seriously massive legal trouble or sanctions.
I mean, just so we don't get too carried away with the rules, since sales have started popping up all over Chicago, you might have some teachers from the rural outskirts using parent money to refresh their wardrobes or maybe pick up some Christmas presents for under the tree.

The last part of that post is a bit crude and I don't agree with it. I'm not trying to accuse teachers of stealing, but I do stand by everything else said.
My kid's teacher told us at the PTA meeting that everything is strictly by the book—everything gets logged.

If I’m being honest, I think the school needs to dial back the ambition a bit. If they’re going to organize all these field trips, museum visits, and runs to McDonald's, they should probably realize you can't cram everything into a three-day window. It’s easy for people to say, "Well, you're the parent, it's your job to cut back on the driving," but that's not how it works.
My nine-year-old went to an opera performance of The Great Gatsby in Cleveland today. We paid $17 for the bus, while the school covered the actual tickets... and it wasn't even mandatory. The teacher was very clear that if you didn't want to go, you didn't have to. That’s fair. And it's also fair for the school to pick up part of the tab, especially for single parents. If I hadn't been able to swing it, she wouldn't have gone.

Anthony Gray said:Sigurna, the original poster never actually said she was going to go out and "attack" the teacher—nor did I interpret her intentions that way myself.
It’s her right to sit down with the teacher to get the full story and make sure this doesn't happen again. Whether or not she actually has $7.00 isn't really the point here.

redpilot37 and the rest of us with kids always hit up McDonald's whenever we take a field trip to New York City. We don't have one right around here, so the kids want to go; all the parents chip in, they're used to the routine, and everyone is on board with the kids heading there. Honestly, I don't think the McDonald's is what's being debated in this thread—they could have gone anywhere—it's the teacher's conduct that's the real issue.

Did she clear it with the mother first? Did the mother give the okay? No.
It’s just a straight-up misunderstanding that puts the mom in an awkward spot. It’s not about $7.00... it's not about who paid more... it's about the process.
The teacher is supposed to walk parents through the plan so they can weigh in.
Now that everything has already happened... the best move is to refund the money and ask the teacher to actually communicate next time if there's a plan in place. Honestly, she should be doing that anyway—standard school protocol—because not all kids are the same and they don't tell their parents everything.

Kimberly Robinson2 said:I’m going to show up. I told my kid to let her know that I'll be there one of these days.

Look, I get it—she’s got three kids in elementary school to worry about, but so do I. And honestly? If I were in her shoes and someone actually had the decency to show some compassion and give me a hand, I wouldn't dream of telling my mom to pay them back. 😢

I just don't get why they had to go to McDonald's.
And did everyone really have to go during school hours?
Personally, I'd feel awkward if a teacher paid for my kid's sandwich... I wouldn't want to go, honestly.
Plus, if he didn't go, it's not like he'd miss out on anything. It's not like there's some magic healthy food there. He can hang out with his friends anywhere else. It's not like he's missing out on some life-changing McDonald's experience. Where does it even say that's necessary?☕

urbandrifter4 said:It’s really a bit of a double-edged sword, isn't it? On one hand, she definitely missed the mark right out of the gate by not being totally transparent with the parents about the trip details—specifically the whole thing about needing cash for those little snacks. Since the kid had already eaten, it sent this pretty skewed message about how money should be handled or what it’s actually for. Then again, there’s that other side of the coin where maybe she just wanted to shield the kid from being picked on, because let’s be honest, kids can be absolute monsters at that age. As for whether she should pay the money back or not, I guess you'll just have to weigh that up and decide for yourself.

Definitely a double-edged sword.
You need to coordinate with the kid, and honestly, probably the teacher too. That much I can agree on.

Lawrence Hughes66 said:I work in the school system...
A McDonald's order like that should have been cleared with the parents first...
There’s a chance the kid just cornered the teacher to ask for a favor...
She could've just talked to the restaurant directly; they're usually pretty cool about working out a free meal deal if you ask right...
You should definitely sit down and have a real talk with the teacher...
Look, we're all human and we all mess up sometimes...
I'm sure she wasn't trying to do anything shady...

I agree🙂
I get why the mom is pissed. Dealing with your own financial struggles is hard enough without having to scramble for extra cash for something that wasn't even planned... (and certainly wasn't part of the standard elementary school curriculum... MC😕)
She could have negotiated a freebie or just covered the kid herself without involving loans...
The way it happened just put you in a corner...

If I were in that spot and couldn't afford what was being asked, I probably wouldn't have sent my kid to school that day.
I'd feel exactly the same way.

Reasking the question—this is about a copy my mom picked up
Hey everyone, I need a little help here... My mom has a canvas replica of a painting by Pieter Bruegel the Younger from the 16th century. The subject is the Adoration of the Magi, produced by Edizioni Beatrice D'este Milano. I’m trying to dig up some more info on it, but I'm hitting a wall. Any idea if anyone here knows about these specific copies? Or maybe you could point me toward a website or a resource where I can actually ask someone about it? The copy is numbered, which usually implies there’s some actual value since they aren't just mass-produced junk. If anyone has a lead or a link, I’d really appreciate it.

Regarding the painting itself, it’s a solid quality canvas replica. It’s numbered and says:
D/827-PIETER BRUEGHEL junior-Die Anbetung der Heilingen Drei Konige
Since it’s numbered, it has to be worth something. The originals are kept in London, and apparently, the Beatrice d'este family holds the rights for this. That's all I know, but a limited series suggests it isn't worthless. Can anyone give me an estimate, tell me more about this piece, or explain what that number actually signifies? Please.

Maria Fisher46 said:Are the rest of the levels—you know, MCV, MCH, MCHC, hemoglobin—all looking normal? If they are, then you're probably fine. 🙂

Yeah, yeah... everything's at 5.
Thanks for the quick reply.🙂