Posts by mistybison

Christian Wells6 said:I find myself believing it is actually quite brilliant. There is this peculiar phenomenon where a culture begins to emerge solely to mock its own predecessor.
It represents a fascinatingly massive shift for any nation, regardless of which one you might be referring to.

I suppose I shall head over to Canada once Ceca starts performing there. (Though I have already witnessed Himzo—half, a quarter, an eighth... he’s basically already been seen). Nowadays, the prevailing theory seems to be that these concerts are attended exclusively by Canadians.
What strikes me as most unsettling is that there aren't even that many Canadians living in Canada itself. It is actually the Canadians who show up. I have gone to the trouble of observing the situation closely, and that is my takeaway.

Since you can't change reality, you either laugh, cry, or get angry. I prefer the first option. 😉

Quincy:

I’m heading to Austria when Madonna performs. (I've already seen half, a quarter, maybe even an eighth of Jim's shows—if he's even still touring). Now the prevailing theory is that these concerts are strictly for the Canadian crowd. What strikes me most is that there aren't even that many Canadians living in Canada. It's actually the Austrians who show up. I’ve put in the effort to track the trends myself.

A significant number of people in this region enjoy that kind of music and those kinds of spectacles. 😁 There isn't much that can be done about it. 🤷

Christian Wells6 said:Granted, it is ONT, but there is an undeniable, brilliant absurdity to its own distinct culture. It occurs to me that I might actually find myself starting to grasp this particular genre of music.
The thing is, one shouldn't even approach it as something attempting to be profoundly meaningful in the first place.

It is a shame the original music video isn't on YouTube, because it is fantastic. 👍 😁 This is just a clip from that movie, 'Two O'Clock of Quality New Year's Programming.' In the film, you get into the club without a ticket if you can sing the best country song. Then, Gaga takes the stage. 😁 If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It is quite fun. 🙂 (Assuming you enjoy that style of humor, of course.)

Chloe Barnes8 said:Alright, whether that was just a random tangent or not, we definitely drifted a little too far off topic. Let's steer things back toward psychology and relationship dynamics...

Look, you guys can't honestly tell me you don't believe, even just a tiny bit, in those stories about people helping folks untangle their love lives. I mean, just look at those lifestyle columns in the magazines... they're full of all sorts of wild stuff. People write in, experts respond... it's pretty wild how much goes on there.

For me, I've always been kind of fascinated by Magda Weltrusky. I think I've been reading her since I was a kid, probably...🤣

I wouldn't say I doubt that professionals can help resolve issues in romantic relationships, but I personally wouldn't want to be part of such a narrative. To me, that would imply being in an immature relationship, suggesting I haven't focused enough on my own growth or that my partner is just as unsettled as I am. I believe two individuals who haven't dedicated enough time to themselves will struggle to build something high-quality together, regardless of expert intervention. At most, a specialist might simply make their connection or marriage more tolerable.

Regarding those reader letters in magazines... A friend of mine who works on the editorial board of a women's magazine told me that the problems people actually submit are often quite mundane and everyday, hardly interesting enough to print. Consequently, the entire staff often invents plausible scenarios and solutions just to have something compelling to publish.😁

lonegardener said:Hmmmmmmm... I suppose a man feels pretty dissatisfied when he's being crucified or impaled. Believe it or not, people actually used to do that.

So, what advice do you give someone currently on a spit? Don't be upset—you can't exactly hop off the stake yourself, so there's really no point in losing sleep over it. It won't change the outcome. 😍

It's a bit of a drastic example 😬, but I am genuinely curious why modern people start from such a nonsensical premise: the idea that every problem is either solvable, or if it isn't, you shouldn't let it bother you? For crying out loud, that's just life. You face hardship and you endure it. And no, you aren't going to "fix" it. Not ever.

By the way, who brought up Vasilisa the Beautiful? Enchantress? Honey, you seem to have forgotten the gist of that story; it was probably ages ago. She didn't subject her Johnny to any trials; quite the opposite. The king put him through the wringer, he’d complain, and then Vasilisa would swoop in to save him (quite the girl... 😵 ). In that whole tale, John wasn't some macho hero proving his worth; he was more like a pushover who happened to stumble into success. Besides, he isn't even the main attraction—Vasilisa steals the entire show. 👍 (even though she doesn't show up until the second half). What did she even see in that weakling? This story was almost certainly cooked up by some man xexexexexe

Light EDIT: I actually think we might be talking about a different Vasilisa. You mention the "Beautiful," whereas I'm certain I'm thinking of the "Wise" one. The story starts with the friendship between a sparrow and a mouse—rings any bells? There's the great war between birds and beasts, a wounded eagle, a hunter who misses three times before finally taking him, raising him, and healing him, only for the bird to drop him from the sky three times to settle the score? Then the sisters from the bronze, silver, and gold cities, and those magic boxes that release castles we can't figure out how to put back inside? ... That was my favorite from the "fairytale world" collection. I must have read it at least a hundred times. But as I said, "Vasilisa" might not be that rare a name in these old stories...

There is an entire collection of fairy tales centered on Beautiful Valley. 🙂 I own a massive eight-volume set of classic American folk tales, and dozens of those stories are dedicated to this heroine.

mistybison, you've let yourself get discouraged for no reason at all. 😁 Try revisiting those classic fairy tales now that you're an adult; you'll find they offer a much deeper perspective. 🙂 These stories aren't just for kids. 😉

urbangardener35 said:Is that from that massive anthology, like "1000 Greatest Fairy Tales" or something? If it is, I read that thing a bunch of times when I was a kid, but I don't have a copy anymore...

But man, there was one specific story in that book that seriously messed with my head... I can't even remember the exact title, but here goes: some King decides to marry off his daughter, right? He puts out an announcement saying whoever brings her the gift she likes best wins her hand. The first guy shows up with diamonds, the second brings—God knows what—some emerald box, the third brings this golden heart, and then there's this last guy who just brings some random rocks he picked up along the way... and apparently, the Princess loves the rocks most at first, but she has to think about it for another day and eventually settles on the guy with the golden heart.

That story haunted me for the longest time... like, WTF? Where's the happy ending in that logic? Why wouldn't she just pick the guy with the rocks? Seriously, what kind of nonsense is that? 😁 😁

Someone please tell me the name of that story so I can find it online... 😉

It’s actually part of a collection of Russian folk tales. I have quite a large library of fairy tales and I still enjoy buying new ones. I love reading them—I find myself completely immersed in those fantasy worlds whenever I do. 🙂

One specific story from that book always left me conflicted... I wonder if anyone knows the exact title. It goes something like this: a king decides to marry off his daughter by announcing that whoever brings her the gift she likes best will win her hand. The first person brings diamonds, the second brings an emerald box, the third presents a golden heart, and the last guy just brings some stones he picked up along the way. Surprisingly, the princess initially prefers the random stones, but after taking another day to think it over, she ultimately chooses the man with the golden heart.

I've never heard of it. 😕

That story used to drive me crazy for ages... WTF... where is the happy ending? Why didn't she go with the guy with the rocks? What kind of logic is that? 😁 😁

Initially, she thought she should choose the most original and daring suitor (after all, it takes guts to offer pebbles gathered off the road), but then she reconsidered and realized that a good—and gold—heart is worth much more. 🙂

Christian Wells6 said:Here are some guidelines based on the "life script" provided by 🤷

I’m curious, which story was your absolute favorite when you were under six years old?

I shall provide an explanation for this inquiry shortly. 🙄

That is a fascinating question. 🙂

I always loved tales about bronze, silver, and golden kingdoms, stories involving three brothers or three bears—tales where the hero has to be resourceful, wise, and brave to earn their reward. I especially liked the story of Prince Charming, who put men through intense trials to ensure they were strong enough to win her heart... 🙂 I have always leaned toward epic adventures rather than lyrical ones, so romantic fairy tales actually bored me. They only started to interest me once I grew up. 😁

It is truly a pleasure to be here. I look forward to participating in the discussion. kaže:
Of course. After a century spent viewing women as mentally inferior beings who exist solely to serve as breeding machines, it is high time we close that book and start writing a new one.🙂

Women should embrace their freedom to remind men that fatherhood is a privilege, not an entitlement. When a woman chooses a specific man to be the father of her children, it is a profound compliment and a true gift. 🙂 He doesn't really grasp anything beyond that. 😉 Men tend to approach things from a different angle, rather than looking at them this way. However, nature teaches us otherwise. 🙂

Angela Rogers2 said:So, if we’re actually going to talk about developmental differences—which are basically driven by instinct 😁😁😁—it's assumed that before all this massive, explosive brain evolution happened and produced all the colorful chaos we deal with today (you know, morality, marriage, government, society, love, blah blah blah), humans lived in polygamous setups. In those groups, a man and woman might stay together for maybe three years, and then she’d go looking for a high-quality genetic match again, while he’d just keep moving on to spread his genes.
Some people have managed to civilize themselves since then, and some haven't. So... I guess it really just comes down to how you were raised and what actually stuck with you.
I’m not out here preaching female fidelity or anything; I’m just pointing out the principle that for a woman, it actually matters quite a bit who is getting her pregnant. For men, it seems less critical—not that they don't care, but they aren't quite as picky, I suppose.
You know that old joke where a guy is looking for a wife and has four different candidates to choose from? He’s weighing them all up, and when his buddy asks him which one he’s going to marry, he just says, "The one with the biggest breasts."
Well, honestly, that’s pretty much how things play out in real life half the time. 😁 😁 😁

That is precisely the point—women decide if they want motherhood, along with the who, when, and how. 😉 Choosing someone to be the father of her child does not mean she has chosen him as a lifelong or even long-term partner. 🙂 She isn't obligated to dedicate her entire life to him. She is free to seek out another man later to have more children or to experience love again. This is the level of autonomy women enjoy today that was unavailable in the past. 🙂 I suspect this newfound freedom is quite unsettling for many men, and frankly, for many women as well. 😁

Angela Rogers2 said:Heh, so you haven't read anything at all? 😁
It’s kind of a gray area, honestly. It all depends on where they're headed, I guess.😁 😁 😁

@neznam Enchi, if I ever actually fell out of love with my husband, I honestly don't think I'd ever find it in me to fall for another guy again. 🤷

She absolutely could—perhaps not right away, but eventually, without a doubt. 🙂 The real question is whether she would have the courage to let herself feel that way again. It is entirely natural. 🙂 Personally, I believe it is healthy for a woman to experience that sense of being in love frequently, if not constantly. 🙂 However, that doesn't align with the traditionalist ideal—the submissive, quiet woman who stays strictly in her husband's shadow, devoted to him alone while he pursues his ventures 😁 (like business trips, military service, or even affairs), prioritizing stability and raising his children above all else... 😉 A woman who truly nurtures her passion finds it difficult to sustain that exclusively with one person forever. That reality isn't particularly convenient for men. 😁 I suppose that is why this perspective isn't such a popular theory. 🤔 😁 🤣

It’s possible that men might crave physical intimacy with someone new after being in a long-term relationship, but women certainly experience a desire to fall in love all over again with a different partner. 😉 Let's be honest. 😁

Chloe Barnes8 said:I'm totally with you on that part... people shouldn't really use those differences as an excuse to avoid finding some kind of "flow" in how we talk or just live together. Like, you can't just say, "Hey honey, I cheated, but it's just my biology, you know?" 🤣

...and stuff like that...

But if we're actually trying to UNDERSTAND things—if we're looking for the real truth—then we have to look at that side of it too. It’s definitely way easier for everyone when we start from the assumption that we're all basically identical and blah blah blah...

But what if we aren't? 😕

Anyway, I totally see where you're coming from! 👍

It is much more effective to operate under the assumption that every individual is a universe unto themselves. 🙂

rustymaker5 said:I was reading "The DNA of Success" by Jacko Zufelt recently, and he makes this pretty interesting argument regarding romantic partnerships... He suggests that men and women process love in fundamentally different ways (well, obviously we know that part). According to him, the primary way a woman shows love to a man—and helps him actually connect with his own emotions—is by showing appreciation for what he does. It’s about sending that message that his actions matter, that they are valued, and being quick to forgive when he slips up, while accepting him exactly as he is. This, according to Zufelt, is crucial for a man to establish an emotional connection and tap into those internal compasses needed to guide his own behavior.
If he feels criticized or if there's constant pressure to change, a man will naturally resist... and when that resistance finally breaks, he might spiral, turning to things like alcoholism, for example...

Women, on the other hand, tend to need to manage their own feelings... A woman's soul needs to feel supported so she can freely express her emotions, her desires, and her needs without hesitation.
A man shouldn't try to manipulate a woman's feelings or push her toward feeling something else entirely. If she's feeling down, scared, or angry, he shouldn't be critiquing those reactions.

According to Zufelt, following this would basically be the blueprint for a successful marriage.
When I sit back and really think about it, there might be some truth to that... maybe if people actually tried it, marriage counseling wouldn't even be necessary in the first place... 🤷

If you can't love your partner exactly as they are, all the effort in the world spent pretending to accept, appreciate, or forgive them will fall short. People intuitively sense when someone is acting out of genuine intention rather than pretense. Ultimately, you'll just end up feeling terrible for being dishonest with both yourself and your spouse just to keep the relationship afloat. Love is the essential foundation for everything else. 🙂

rustymaker5 said:I don't spend my time obsessing over people's physical appearances, but I am endlessly fascinated by the way people choose their avatars. It’s funny how much of an impression those little icons—and even just a username—can leave on your mind when you're trying to build a mental image of someone.
For instance, I see Enchi as this delicate, gentle soul who keeps things close to the chest... then there's Labellin, where the persona seems to be a direct reflection of that specific avatar they picked. And Christian Wells6? I picture them as this loud, chaotic tornado that somehow finds its own center of peace amidst all the noise... I won't get into the men, or the ones who swap their pictures every five minutes, but man, this whole digital world is such a strange, colorful sphere to exist in...😍

😁

You might actually be surprised if we ever met in person. 🙂

Angela Rogers2 said:Enchi holds her own quite well; for instance, in my circle, discussions about religion rarely come up, even though religion is the second most frequent topic I visit on this site. hehe.

I am much the same. 🙂 I almost never discuss spirituality, religion, or philosophy in social settings. I don't have people to talk to about those topics, nor do I particularly seek them out. Anyone judging me based on the specific subforums where I mostly post would be quite surprised to meet me in real life. That applies to all of us. 🙂

Angela Rogers2 said:then you've got a serious problem on your hands with me😁
To be totally blunt, no, I don't imagine what any of you look like at all. I don't even think about it.🤷

A caricature—interesting, though I’m a big believer in meeting people in person regardless of their physical appearance. Whether they have black, blonde, or brown hair, whether they’re tall, short, thin, heavy, or how they dress... it doesn't matter. It's more about body language. You communicate so much without saying a word, and that's where the internet fails. Given the whole development of the psyche and communication tools, you make much better selections face-to-face rather than monitor-to-monitor. I could write anything to you right now, and depending on how susceptible you are, you might just take it as gospel. And that could be a total lie. Of course, those kinds of manipulations have always been part of daily life; they weren't invented by the internet, but they're much easier—and honestly, better—to spot when you're looking someone in the eye.
Talking about quality in this context is like looking for a wheat stalk in a field of weeds.😁

Neither do I, though if you're truly curious—we swap photos. 🙂 Still, pictures aren't everything because they can't capture someone's "vibe," which is the most vital part. 😉

Quinn:

Given how the human psyche and communication styles develop, you perform much better selection when meeting face-to-face rather than screen-to-screen.

That is precisely the great paradox of the internet. The things you notice immediately in person are often invisible online, yet the web allows you to discover traits, perspectives, and values that you might not even catch after years of knowing someone in real life. Both experiences have their own unique charm. 🙂
I find it sufficient to judge based on my own experience. On this forum, I have shared interests and thoughts that many people who have known me for years know nothing about. However, those people do know whether I maintain eye contact at the dinner table, whether I am relaxed or nervous in new social settings, whether I tend to smile or remain serious, if I am punctual, if I am trustworthy, and how reliable I am. People on the internet cannot know those things—they can only trust what I write, which may not always reflect reality. 😉 And that is certainly far more significant in human relationships—including choosing a partner, which is what we are discussing here. 🙂

Chloe Barnes8 said:Hmm, okay... maybe we’re looking at a whole new psychological phenomenon here..

So, here's the thing... there are tons of people out there actively searching for a relationship in one specific place...
Yeah, most of them have college degrees (well, at least half of them do). And since everyone seems way more obsessed with staying fit these days, let's just assume a good chunk of them look pretty decent. For single people, that matters, right? So they probably put in that extra effort to look their best when they head out..

So, you've got all these attractive moments happening... educated folks, mostly physically fit, plenty of different hobbies and interests... and then what happens?

They find someone. Someone catches their eye. Sometimes it's mutual...

But because there are so many options constantly being thrown at them, a lot of people don't want to settle on just one crush. It's that whole "plenty of fish in the sea" mentality, I guess. So they end up seeing multiple people at once—some are in actual relationships, some are just "situationships," and with others, they're just flirting. It creates this totally new kind of chaos in modern dating...

And since they stay in this loop for so long, naturally, you get breakups, total meltdowns, frustration on all sides... just a lot of confusion...

And I honestly don't think it's just the people who were already prone to playing the field or juggling multiple partners. I think so many other people are getting sucked into this "model" simply because it's so accessible and becoming the new norm....😕

That is simply how modern society functions. 🙂 People are moving away from the idea of "one partner for life," committing less to relationships and marriage, and focusing more on individual happiness as moral standards shift. Perhaps these trends are just more visible because of the internet.

Chloe Barnes8 said:I tried to write a reply to Taylor but I think my message just vanished into the digital void somewhere...🙂

Honestly, you can build any kind of image you want, and you can actually maintain it too, depending on what drives you, your skills, how much imagination you have... whatever works..

From what I’ve gathered through my own experiences scrolling online and looking for people... if I do a little filtering—you know, cutting out those "whatever" types, the married folks, the taken ones, the obviously creepy guys, the illiterate ones, the boring ones, or the drama queens—and try to narrow it down to just interesting single people; well, it turns out some people who seem interesting and single aren't actually single at all (they're stuck in some messy situation or even married), and then there are the single, "interesting" people who turn out to be anything but (unattractive, boring, or both)...

If you're a single woman just looking for a hookup, opportunities are everywhere, like finding salads at a grocery store... but if you're actually looking for a REAL RELATIONSHIP? Mission impossible. At least for any woman with half a brain...🤷

Finding quality is always a challenge, whether you're browsing online or meeting people in person. 🙂 If your goal is simply to find an average relationship, you'll certainly succeed—you just need to stay persistent and perhaps adjust your criteria a bit. There are plenty of lonely people out there.

Chloe Barnes8 said:I really dig this whole "friendship shock" concept, Taylor...😁 😁 🤣

So, look... maybe it’s actually us, and not them, who are constantly scanning people... or whatever... I guess we’re all just a little bit like Jim Jordan (yikes, scary thought right there)...

But honestly, looking at how much noise there is on forums or dating sites, they all seem to share these specific traits—plus a brand new dimension where psychology isn't just going to help, it's practically going to be required soon...

Basically, we jump straight into building this virtual persona, or like, a curated image...

You, me, the mods, EVERYONE..

Anyone claiming otherwise...
that person is lying (and probably stealing too)... 😁 😉

Anyone who spends even a little time in any kind of online community realizes that through written words, you only ever see one side of a person's character—and it’s usually the version they choose to reveal last in real life. It is incredibly easy to let your imagination fill in the blanks and create a mental image of someone who doesn't actually exist. 😉 Similarly, we all curate what we present to the world; no matter how honest we try to be, the image we project isn't a complete reality. For people who simply enjoy meeting others and making new friends, this isn't much of an issue. They might face a bit of a surprise when meeting in person, which requires some preparation, but once you get past the physical appearance and certain unknown quirks, they will still find the person they liked online (provided that person was being truthful). 🙂
When people are specifically looking for romantic partners online, this becomes a real hurdle because those users prioritize both physical attraction and personality compatibility. To avoid awkward surprises, these individuals should exchange photos and schedule an in-person meeting immediately. This prevents them from building a fictionalized version of someone—or themselves—based solely on text, which helps avoid inevitable disappointment.
Just like anything else, the key to online connections is knowing exactly what you are looking for.

Taylor, please be sure to let me know about that rafting trip on the Colorado River. 😉

Chloe Barnes8 said:It feels like more and more people are living alone these days... just single-person households everywhere. Marriages seem to be falling apart way easier than they used to for all sorts of reasons, too. Plus, with dating apps constantly blowing up, everyone seems to be desperately searching for "the one" for years on end...

How much do you guys think psychologists or actual therapy can actually help with practical stuff? Like, giving real advice to singles or people trying to navigate the whole online dating scene?

And I'm curious, what have your own experiences been like with all this?

Psychologists can be incredibly helpful by helping people clarify their true intentions. If someone is just looking for an adventure, they should stick to sites like the ones Christian Wells6 mentioned. If marriage is the goal, there are various virtual matchmaking services available. For those who simply want to meet new people without heavy expectations or restrictions, online forums like this one—or even chat programs like AOL Instant Messenger—are perfect.

And what has your own experience been like?

I don't actively search for a partner online, though I certainly don't mind relationships that evolve naturally from a digital connection. 🙂 Naturally, I have fallen in love through a screen before—after all, who hasn't? 😁 In my experience, there are actually more sincere people online than there are those who lie and pretend to be someone else. 🙂

Sophia Castillo35 said:Good grief, even Jesus and the moderators have fallen into conspiracy theories.

😁

I am just giving the forum users a little scare. 🤣

P.S. Deleting isn't a soft delete. 🙄

Are you certain about that? 😲 😁