Posts by Harold Anderson3

That was a really nice article regarding antidepressants

Larry Lewis said:I spent some time once at the Mayo Clinic, and then twice over at the local psychiatric facility—one stay lasted about three months and the other was closer to ten days. That newer wing at the facility is actually decent enough, if you can believe it.

Are you talking about the ER? I've ended up there four times myself.🙂
It isn't the worst place, though luckily, I haven't had to go back since...

Larry Lewis said:I’m going to lay everything out for the doctor—honestly, what’s the point in keeping secrets? Even if it means spending a week or two checked into a facility while they tweak my meds, it’s not the end of the world. Besides, I'm actually feeling alright today, believe it or not...

I'll just hold steady until my appointment, see what the verdict is, and go from there. That's the plan.

Thanks for the input, Scarlett and Harold Anderson3.

You're very welcome... if you don't mind me asking, where were you staying?

Larry Lewis said:I just don't get how one day can feel perfectly fine—everything is steady, life is good—and then, out of nowhere, these paranoid thoughts start clawing at you, dragging you down into this heavy, dark mental fog.
If you’ve ever dealt with this, you know the feeling—it's like being shoved back to square one after you thought you'd finally made progress.
That’s just the nature of the beast, I suppose... it's a heavy, unpredictable thing, and you almost have to just accept that
this is simply how it is.

I really do know what you're going through... I truly do.🤣
Maybe try bumping up your antipsychotic dose slightly whenever you feel like your stability is slipping. I mentioned earlier that I increased my Zyprexa for a few days myself, which was something my doctor suggested. Just please, whatever you do, don't try to lower the dose on your own! It’s definitely best to have a real conversation about it with your doctor first.

Paul Anderson2 said:I gave it a read too. I won't get into how much of it is actually factual, but... fights, drinking, more fights, two days of work, arguments, fighting, weed, drinking... it was a pretty intense life. Maybe things just "burned out" a bit. I guess we'll have to wait and see if everything settles back down, as much as that's possible.

I haven't had nearly that much going on in my life (and I'm a lot older), and I've probably only had a fraction of the alcohol he has...

Everything seems fine, as long as you can still look at the things happening around you objectively...

Yeah, there was definitely a lot going on. I've finally slowed things down just a little bit. 😁

electricjackal55 said:🙂

I have to admit, though—I don't think I fully grasped how much some of these moments actually mattered at the time. Maybe it’s just a bit too soon for me to be writing memoirs like this.

😘

you might eventually realize it, or perhaps some things just don't end up being as important as they seem at the time 😉

nimblerider21 said:🙂☕🙂
I just finished watching A Beautiful Mind
and honestly, what can I even say? It feels like life is just better when you aren't relying on heavy meds
those auditory, visual, or even smell-based hallucinations... you really just have to learn how to look right through them
and just ignore them entirely
it's kind of like being stuck in a One Fleeting Flea's Nest
all those people portrayed in the movie are actually quite wonderful deep down
they’re just terrified to step out into the world because they truly believe these treatments are helping them
but then again, look at how the Joker ended up...
some people turn to substances just to chase that high
to experience those hallucinations, which clearly seems to be something modern society is lacking
because if you look closely, we’re all basically living in our own version of a Flea's Nest
we all act "normal" on the surface, but the only real difference is
that most of us are just walking around scared and lacking any real self-confidence
And sure, doctors will tell you that meds, or insulin therapies, or even things like shock therapy
electricity, or surgical procedures to remove parts of the brain... will fix it
But listen, brothers and sisters, it is high time you all woke up and came to your senses
NOBODY TRULY UNDERSTANDS WHAT IS HAPPENING INSIDE A HUMAN BEING UNLESS YOU TELL THEM YOUR STORY
and let me tell you, no one is going to help you more than you can help yourself

MENTAL WARRIORS🙂

It isn't just about hallucinations; those are really just one piece of a much larger puzzle. I find it honestly fascinating how a single medication can target several different symptoms that don't even seem related on the surface.
Even if you were to walk into a psychiatric ward, you'd notice that most patients actually seem quite composed. You might see some people acting a bit sluggish because of their meds, or maybe someone looking a little anxious, but for the most part, everyone seems relatively normal. Of course, we have no way of truly knowing what's going on inside their heads...

nimblerider21 said:😕

Look, I’ll step into the role of a psychic for a second here just so I can analyze your life path;
don't go holding your stepmother against her for hitting you (forgive HER)
if you're trying to wrap your head around why things went down the way they did
(not that it matters) because, honestly, people are just flawed and messy
and you aren't some god—it wasn't a trigger or anything else,
like a car crash or something crazy like that.
Just be honest with yourself and admit that you’ve
really been through the wringer, that you're sensitive,
damn intelligent, and try to take those qualities of yours
and actually use them to find a career that
you genuinely love and where you can actually
stick around for the long haul. And at the end of the day, yeah, the pills
might help, but believe me when I say there’s
a better way—I swear to God it's hard to
achieve, but the payoff is so much greater...
just do what you love, take a breather—you've earned it,
love yourself, love yourself
love yourself
love yourself
love yourself
love yourself
seriously, that is the most important part
because all that self-hatred is exactly why you
fell off the wagon, you know?
you're a good person....

p.s. that director is an idiot
or maybe just a coward
what you wrote here is a total masterpiece
maybe give it a shot with some Hollywood directors

MENTAL WARRIORS!!!

p.s.s -> it isn't bigger than you

love, faith, courage, laughter, and letting go😂

Honestly, nothing about my stepmother’s life has ever been rosy, regardless of how much she insists she’s a great parent—and my dad seems to share that same delusion.
Louise L. Hay 👍
Thanks for thinking the blog is some kind of masterpiece 😉

There’s just no logic to it, really. Once you make a massive blunder like I did and your only mission is to go out and announce to everyone that you've lost your mind, you actually end up losing it for real.
I told my doctor:
Look, I have some perspective now, and I honestly think I would know how to handle myself if something like this ever happened again.
But she just says: no, you wouldn't.
Apparently, it's something more powerful than my own willpower, and that I'm going to need medication to get through it.
So, I just headed off to bed; I need to be able to hold it together at work tomorrow. 🙂

jadewolf16 said:So I’m standing there at 5'9" and about 265 lbs, thinking I look totally fine—like, I don't even look fat in my own bathroom mirror

But man, I get a total reality check when I walk into a department store or see some random unedited photo online

I look like an absolute MONSTER 😱

Man, you really need to get checked out. 😁

Larry Lewis said:Let's just hope everything falls into place eventually, but hey, life happens, right?😉

I recently switched up my antipsychotic medication—still adjusting to the new regimen, honestly—and I’m not entirely sure if it’s the right fit yet. I’ve decided to stick with it for another ten days or so to see how the dust settles before heading back for a follow-up appointment, so... yeah, I'm not exactly firing on all cylinders right now.

It is incredibly difficult to explain to someone who hasn't endured a severe psychotic episode what that feels like—but well, we made it through the fire, and we survived at least the worst of it, which has to count for something.

In my eyes, people dealing with mental health struggles are a special breed—they carry a weight that most people simply couldn't shoulder without breaking.
If they sent me back to the psychiatric ward tomorrow, I wouldn't feel much shame about it, but if they sent me back to my old workplace? Now *that* would be a disaster.
I honestly don't know when the human race will finally realize that basic kindness and love are the only things capable of saving this world—a world that, frankly, I fear is veering dangerously in the wrong direction.

I want to express my deepest respect to everyone struggling with illness, to those people out there scraping by in the middle of the night just to stay invisible, and to everyone who reached out a hand to help me—because believe me, they helped more than I can say.

I bumped my Zyprexa up to 10 myself, so I'm definitely not feeling my best either...
Yeah, there are plenty of us out here bravely carrying our own burdens.
Some people buckle under the pressure, and I have nothing but respect for them, too.
Every morning, I just shoulder my "crazy" and keep moving forward.
Some days it feels heavy, and I wonder if I can keep going. Other days I feel strong and capable of handling it. And then there are those rare moments where I almost forget it's even there, as if it doesn't exist at all. 😉

irongardener14 said:I’ve scheduled an appointment with a psychologist who works at a hospital but also maintains a private practice. I am hopeful they will be able to help.

I’m certainly rooting for you too🙂

best of luck 👋

Larry Lewis said:I just finished reading your account, Harold Anderson3—keep at it. You've still got plenty of youth on your side, and you'll find a way to get a handle on this schizophrenia soon enough.😉

How are things going with you? 🙂 Don't worry, you're still young, and we’ll figure all of this out together—we're always stronger when we stand as one. 🙂
I don't drink, I'm just messing around, and honestly, my signature is just a joke. 🤣

irongardener14 said:Height: 5'6"
Weight: 154 lbs
Bust: 39"
Waist: 33"
Hips: 39"
Glutes: 44.5"
Thigh: 21.5"
Calf: 13.75"
Yet I still find myself convinced that I am underweight, rather than overweight. The mere suggestion of being thin is deeply unsettling to me, often triggering an urge to eat. I find myself constantly hovering in front of the mirror and stepping on the scale five times a day.
@Harold Anderson3, there was once a standard I aimed for, but based on my current weight, I am technically heavier than that ideal—even if I refuse to believe it. It is a frustrating cycle that persists daily, and frankly, it’s starting to make me feel quite aggressive. I am at a loss as to how to proceed.

Hmm... so you know deep down you aren't thin, yet your mind just won't let you believe it.
I can somewhat relate to how unsettling that feels. I don't think what you're going through is necessarily an extreme crisis, but it's certainly uncomfortable to live with. I've seen people struggle with anorexia before, and it's a truly harrowing thing to witness; I knew a girl who was dangerously underweight, yet she was convinced she was overweight. She had absolutely no concept that her perception was the exact opposite of reality.
It could reach a point where you actually start losing too much weight, and that would be a much more serious issue.
Talking things through with a therapist would likely be a huge help for you, as they could help explain why your mind is playing these tricks on you.

irongardener14 said:Greetings, everyone. Growing up, I was quite underweight; I hovered around 108 pounds until my junior year of high school. During that era, I faced constant commentary from people claiming I looked skeletal or asking if I even bothered to eat. At the time, I simply chose to ignore them. However, some time has passed, and my weight has increased; I am currently 154 pounds at 5'6", yet I still perceive myself as being too thin. The most difficult moments occur when I head out the door and catch my reflection—I still see someone who is underweight. My mother is the only one aware of this struggle, and while she tries to reassure me otherwise, I remain dissatisfied and stuck in this perception of being too frail.🙂 I am at a loss as to how to proceed. I am curious if there are specific types of psychotherapy or similar clinical interventions available to help me dismantle these persistent thoughts...

Maybe you've been looking up to someone who carries a bit more weight, and in trying to emulate them, you've ended up feeling like you aren't enough? For instance, I've gone through some pretty wild weight fluctuations myself because I could never quite decide which sport to commit to. There were times when I was training to be a marathon runner and dropped significant weight, but then when I focused on building muscle, I’d end up weighing twenty pounds more. There's actually an opposite condition to anorexia, often seen in certain bodybuilders, where the struggle is with being too small. The truth is, there isn't really such a thing as an "ideal" weight; it all depends on your lifestyle and the activities you do. There is only an average, and you are, truthfully, slightly above that average. So, you definitely aren't too thin.😉

So, I finally finished putting my story together regarding my journey through this relentless illness. It might not feel quite as overwhelming 😁if someone takes a moment to sit down and read it; I’d love to hear what you all think about it.

crimsonbison12 said:Hey, I’ve been hovering on the edge of joining this thread for a while now, just putting it off, but I can't hold it back anymore. Honestly, I’m at a breaking point. There’s someone in my family dealing with what—if you want to call it that—is schizophrenia. That was the diagnosis, anyway, but they completely reject it. They're convinced everything is perfectly fine and they're totally normal. They were on medication for maybe 15 or 20 years, though even then, it felt like the stuff wasn't doing much. For the last 7 or 8 years, they've ditched the meds entirely because they claim the pills are "poisoning" them or making them feel unlike themselves. Something like that.

The house is just one constant, exhausting argument. Everything is a trigger. How a dish is sitting on the counter or how things are organized—it doesn't matter, it's always an issue. They told me once they feel this constant restlessness in their mind, like there's some kind of "whirlwind or vortex" spinning inside their head. They say they think too much. They’re up at 1 or 2 in the morning and just can't get back to sleep...

I am so pushed to the limit that I've actually considered just buying some pills or herbal supplements on my own and sneaking them into their juice or food. Or maybe lying and saying it's a specific tea just to get them to settle down. Every time I try to suggest we need actual help or more medication, they take it as a personal attack. They just scream that they are a completely normal person.

Please, if anyone has any advice, I'm begging you. I don't know how much longer I can sustain this. I'm not in the middle of a crisis right this second, but I am seriously considering moving out. My nerves are shot. I can't keep playing this game where I pretend "everything is fine," walking on eggshells, and constantly validating them just to keep the peace.😢

My family consists of three people, and two of us struggle with schizophrenia: myself and my mother. While we both require medication, I stay consistent with mine, whereas my mom doesn't really, for reasons that range from understandable to completely irrational. The third person is my grandmother, who hasn't received a diagnosis. There are frequent arguments between Grandma and Mom, though they seem a bit less intense than they used to be. Most of the friction stems from money issues, and sometimes Mom becomes paranoid toward Grandma without any real cause. Whenever Mom stops taking her meds, I can tell immediately by how she acts, and lately, she’s even started to realize she needs them. I suppose if someone is that stubborn and refuses medication at all costs despite having a diagnosis, it might be best for your own sanity to distance yourself. Still, it would obviously be better for the whole family if you could somehow convince them to follow their treatment plan. What is your relationship to this person?

Kenneth Campbell said:Hey everyone... 😉

Laypeople tend to lump everything under the umbrella of "schizo," and they often self-diagnose various syndromes based on something they read or something someone whispered in their ear. It's similar to when someone reads medical literature on oncology and then starts noticing "symptoms" of carcinoma everywhere.
One simply needs to relax and enjoy life without overthinking or manufacturing misery by exaggerating certain phenomena or sensations. Neurotic anxiety is often the root cause. 🙂 Just unwind and accept life—and yourself—as you are, while still striving to address weaknesses and pursue personal growth and virtue. That is the solution...

Regarding the onset and pathogenesis of schizophrenia, it is a highly complex matter. It involves multifactorial triggers where several distinct elements converge to cause the disorder; however, it is clear that while genetic factors play a decisive role, they are not strictly mandatory.
It is necessary to distinguish between "process" schizophrenia (true schizophrenia) and "schizophreniform psychosis" (reactive). These two terms represent different phenomena, yet they can look nearly identical in many respects, creating the illusion of a single syndrome. In the case of schizophreniform psychosis or reactive schizophrenia, there may be no genetic predisposition at all; no one in the family needs to have a psychiatric disorder (?) (though certain indicators may suggest a higher risk for psychosis).
It must be emphasized that schizophrenia does not manifest the same way in everyone. There are infinite individual variations in the clinical picture. Even with a diagnosis like paranoid schizophrenia, it isn't true that every patient behaves identically. You see differences in the delusional system, its intensity, the level of fixation, affective status, intellectual capacity, consciousness, personality strength, education, physical appearance, attitude toward the illness (whether they deny it or accept it), insight into their actual personality, social performance, and work capacity, among many others. The diversity within a single diagnosis is striking, let alone across the entire spectrum of mental disorders. Still, certain patterns remain standard rules, as many symptom clusters present similarly across most cases.

It should be noted that any schizophrenia that appears suddenly, presenting with a turbulent onset involving disturbances in consciousness or dominated by delusions, carries a much more favorable prognosis than "process" schizophrenia, where symptoms and personality degradation develop gradually over years. The "slow-onset" type of schizophrenia has a very poor outcome and is difficult to treat—especially if it begins during adolescence and is characterized by negative symptoms: autism, inertia, social introversion, apathy, lack of interest, loss of will, loss of drive, emotional blunting, etc. Conversely, if positive symptoms predominate—delusions, hallucinations, mannerisms, social activity, etc.—and the disorder manifests later in life, the prognosis and treatment options are generally better.
Though, even here, everything is relative, and many variables must be considered.

The genetic factor is not necessarily required for the onset of schizophrenia, but it is important to note that it frequently converges with other environmental factors.

Based on everything I'm learning, my own situation seems to fall under the "process" category, though I hold onto the hope that I might eventually be able to taper off my medication entirely. I have no idea when that might happen—maybe in five years, maybe ten... and even if it never happens, I won't let it get me down.

stormymason5 said:A question for anyone living with schizophrenia:

Is this condition actually the nightmare everyone makes it out to be, or is it possible to just live a relatively normal life with it?

It’s not just "relatively" normal; you can live a full life. There was a time when a diagnosis like this essentially meant the end of being able to function in society, but those days are mostly behind us. Two of the most effective medications (like olanzapine and risperidone) were developed back in the mid-90s, and they do an incredible job of managing symptoms—provided you stay consistent with them, of course, though there are some side effects to manage. They can still be quite pricey, but even with all the flaws in the American healthcare system, there is a genuine commitment here to making sure people get the care they need.

Justin Fisher said:No, no, I’m not saying he’s actually gonna kill himself 😲 I just mean I don't want him to spiral into this whole obsession if there's a way to prevent it

So, what, am I supposed to like, distance myself from him or something?

Well, look... having a fixation on something is often a symptom of schizophrenia, though it isn't always directed at a specific person. For instance, when I was first dealing with my diagnosis, I found myself hyper-focused on a few random things—it didn't really matter how important they were, I just couldn't see anything else happening around me. There was also this girl I used to play games with; she was part of my life long before I got sick, but the illness just sort of amplified those feelings. Eventually, she told me no, and I had to accept that reality. You'll just have to observe how they treat you. It doesn't necessarily mean (though it could) that they'll become obsessed with you specifically. Personally, I don't think that would happen in my case, at least not in the way you're worried about, especially since you already have a boyfriend.