Posts by Tyler Thomas12

hollowtrucker77 said:Yeah, I went through my own version of a total collapse too—values, morals, ethics, trust, everything just crumbled.
After that hit, I had to build an entirely new system from the ground up, one capable of surviving the harshest reality checks imaginable (starting with my own).

Update: yet another test, yet another breakdown... 😢 😢

There’s this incredibly raw, underdeveloped sense of selfhood (stupid word, I know, but it’s the only one that fits) that is constantly pushing to move forward, to break free, to build, to grow. It grows by being validated through decisions—decisions where I actually stand my ground, regardless of how much they might annoy everyone else.

But unfortunately, just like I mentioned before... that growth doesn't happen in a vacuum. It happens through interaction with those closest to you. It seeks validation from reality, and yesterday, once again, I didn't get it. 👎

hollowtrucker77 said:Tyler Thomas12
From the moment we're kids, we're taught that saying "no" is rude, and if we do it, we get grounded or punished.
Then, they drill into us that certain people are more important than others—people who are older, higher up the ladder, or hold more authority than the very people teaching us these lessons...
My philosophy is actually pretty straightforward, though it takes work to live by: "In order to truly care for anyone else, I have to start by loving myself first."
🙂

Thanks. It’s not that I don’t try to follow that, but I struggle hard with this specific part: the guilt.

That’s actually how my "second act" started—with the realization that trying to please everyone didn't achieve anything except making me sick. I realized I had to start listening to my own gut.

At first, it resulted in a total collapse of everything I had built up to that point (probably because it was all built on the wrong foundation), followed by a massive detour, and finally, a sense of actual fulfillment.

The thing is, life keeps throwing these tests at us at every turn. If we can't pass them, we just end up circling back to the same core issues until we finally grow up. 🙂

Sure, I mean... this isn't even about whether you help someone or not. It’s really about that social and emotional layer—that moment when someone needs you, but you either can't or, let's be honest, you just don't want to do it, yet you still don't say no.

It ranges from dodging a private message or a request to grab coffee, all the way up to much more intense emotional manipulation and blackmail within a marriage, a relationship, or even close friendships.

People who struggle with serious self-esteem issues ( 😳 ) find it incredibly hard to set boundaries. They feel this desperate need to please others because they're terrified of hurting anyone's feelings. But in the process, they end up hurting themselves by constantly ignoring their own desires and limits. If they weren't respected growing up, they never learned how to respect themselves. 😢

blueranger12 said:Since I can never get anyone to go for me, I just agree to everything. I don't even have standards anymore.😁

🙏 🙏 🙏 🤣

I'd put this in the trash bin 🙂

zg_sash said:It took some serious effort and time, but I finally learned how to say "no" without feeling guilty or coming up with some vague, half-baked excuses.

How exactly?

I’m not expecting some magic formula you can just hand over, but was this a process of trial and error, a method of elimination, or did you just eventually reach a logical conclusion?

My mom’s advice acted like a roadmap—it gave me a clear path to follow, a terrain I could navigate without much struggle we don't talk about that (I guess it's considered rude, or maybe just 🙄), but you end up doing everything right only to spend the whole damn time feeling agitated
.
It's tough to swap out that old internal software for a newer, better model. Sure, maybe you can patch it or upgrade it slightly, but that guilt trip? That light stays on, and it never fails to trigger.

wearyowl29 said:Is it even possible to tell someone "no" without feeling a tiny bit of guilt about it?

Good grief... no.😢

Linda Hernandez15 said:I'm ready to give this another shot...

Arm yourself with some patience and good luck, Linda Hernandez15.😘

Henry Cooper6 said:Ugh, I ended up buying another test on Friday and it was negative again.

But today I finally saw some spotting—just a tiny bit, but enough to know for sure that I'm not pregnant.

Anyway, thanks for all the replies. Enjoy your pregnancies; even though I was only certain for a single day, that feeling was actually really beautiful. Still, it’s better for me to wait until things are more stable and settled in my life.

Now that I know what you guys are going through, I have to admit, I'm a little jealous.
🙂

It’ll happen when the time is right.🙂

Anna Oxa said:I just had to get this news out there to everyone!

Ethan Barrett said:I already feel right at home among all you wonderful expectant mothers.

"Quote"

Jacob Patel3 said:He's positive!

Is there actually a baby boom happening? It feels like everyone is talking about it lately. 😲 😍 😍 😍

Welcome, I guess. Now, what's on your mind? 😘

crimsoncrane3 said:Linda, you're being a little mischievous! 😬
Just read my entire post... I actually answered my own question. If it comes down to it, I'll be taking a test in two or three weeks. 👍
And writing on the monitor?? 🙄 No way am I doing that at work right in front of my coworker. 😬 😂

Look, Linda just misread things, don't hold it against her...🙂

You're supposed to write on the keyboard, not the screen! 😁 😁
😘

Edward Green said:Three days? 🙂
I don't own any sunglasses. I’m just not a glasses person in general, so I don't have them. 🙂
: plešekišniples:

Edward Green, my little one actually poked me right in the eye recently and tore through that thin, slimy outer layer—I think it's called the 😬 cornea—leaving a tiny half-centimeter hole in it.

During the exam, the doctor used drops to dilate my pupils, and let me tell you, I was miserable for two full days. Honestly, it would have been even worse if I hadn't seen this great specialist who gave me some counteracting drops to help constrict my pupils faster. I'm really grateful to him. 😍

Having blurry vision is irritating; it gives you headaches and makes sunlight unbearable. You definitely shouldn't be driving at all. 🙄

If you're asking whether you can get that something? 😕 😬

Betty Patel17 said:...I know some women who are single, passed the age of 35 or even 40, and they definitely show all the symptoms of being frustrated old maids.
...

Now, think about how many unnamed persons are actually frustrated married women?
Or unnamed persons who are divorced?
Or unnamed persons who are widows?

Just like not every single woman over 35 is bitter, there are people in every other category who are grumpy and disappointed, but there are also plenty who are unburdened, free, and genuinely happy. Sure, the unhappy ones might make up a larger percentage on average, but that’s just human nature.😉

Alex Rogers96 said:Most people just cling to their "cross to bear." They actually wallow in the negative emotions it provides, but even that is just a payoff. Realizing that this "cross" is nothing more than a burden is the first step toward fixing the problem. You shouldn't just accept it and stoically carry it around; you should cast it aside.

When I talk about "accepting the cross," I don't mean accepting everything happening around and inside you as an inevitability you just have to live with. I mean accepting, loving yourself and your life enough to finally view them through a positive lens.

In this context, the cross isn't some obsessive-compulsive behavior that you’re supposed to just embrace and coexist with! Of course, the goal should always be to reject it and heal.

It is a disorder, sure, but it doesn't exist in a vacuum. It's the fallout from deeper psychological traumas that a person either can't, won't, or doesn't know how to face.

When someone starts psychotherapy, simply confronting the actual problems they need to deal with in their lives is so agonizingly painful that most people lack the strength to stick with it. So, what do they do? They pivot to easier, less painful methods.

But that pain we have to push through—that is the very cross we shouldn't be afraid to accept.

analogmarlin3 said:The legendary and low-profile Sam Shepard 😁

Man, 😵
what a massive, incredible movie 😁 😁

Basta said:Here’s a fun fact:

General Charles E. 'Chuck Yeager', the guy who actually broke the sound barrier, plays a bartender named Fred at Pancin's club in this movie. In one scene, he's asking agents from Washington what they want to drink. 🙂

uhm... since I pretty much passed out fifteen minutes into the film, 😳 can someone remind me what the actor's name is—the one playing that handsome, 😍 mysterious 😍 hunter? 😁 😁

America said:👍 👍

I think I have Nemo sitting on a CD in my bookshelf somewhere
😳
Hopefully, I'll actually find the time to get to it
😉 😁

You won't be late, I'm positive.
I’d even go so far as to predict you might actually tear up over it. 😉

Since I have two kids of my own now, I finally get to enjoy animated movies without having to hunt down neighbors' children just to fill up a seat at the local theater. 😁 😁

Honestly, Stuart Little 1 and 2 are brilliant works that appeal to both kids and adults, plus they're incredibly politically correct. 😁 👍

The voice acting is top-notch, too. Though, if you look closely, you can tell there's been a slight dip in the quality of American dubbing over the last couple of years. If you want to see what great voice work actually looks like, I highly recommend watching Nemo.

🙂 🙂

boldsailor32 said:Being aware???

Is that just an afterthought?

Or is it actually the most important thing of all?

V.

It's the most important thing!
People claim love is what matters most, but don't buy into that—not if you aren't self-aware enough to even understand what love actually is.
And that's not even touching on all those other shallow topics...

Wow... I've got to hand it to you for asking that.👍

Baphomet said:Maybe the solution is just to stop dealing with people altogether. It’s no wonder most high-ranking clergy spend so much of their lives in isolation.

I couldn't agree more. If I actually had the willpower—don't get me wrong, I have plenty of desire, it's just my discipline that's lacking, haha—I'd pull it off too!
It's funny how it works: I'll be craving total solitude, and then five minutes later, I'm sitting in front of the TV or running out to grab coffee and go shopping.😁 😁

Honestly, it feels like some 😈 is forcing my hand.

Baphomet 👍 👍 👍 thanks for the topic.

Anyway, I'm heading off to go get some much-needed, long-awaited relief; maybe that'll clear my head. 😁 😎

Stay well, Bu'te, 👋 👋