Andrew Williams23 said:I'm on the hunt for a vinyl copy of Discipline's Kicma—if anyone happens to have one lying around, please shoot me a DM. Thanks!

I'm still searching for that one, and honestly, I've also been wondering if anyone has any vinyl pressings from The Velvet Underground or The Ramones available.

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How do you deal with today's social climate? in Psychology · Jan 13, 2023

Jonathan Fowler14 said:Is it really asking too much for someone to stick to their word?
Like, if they have other plans, couldn't they just let me know in a timely manner?
Or for them to be decent and respectful of my time and money spent traveling to meet up?
How about actually talking when we hang out instead of everyone staring at their phones?
And meeting up because we genuinely want to see each other, not just for an Instagram photo op?

Are those really "too much" to ask? 😵

What are your expectations for friends? How would you distinguish between high and low expectations?

Well, honestly, if they don't respect the plan, then I suppose I won't feel obligated to either.
It’s all part of the learning process, though I guess sometimes it costs quite a bit of time and cash. I’ve certainly lost enough on things like this over the years that I don't view it through such a negative lens anymore. At least now I can recognize the signs, or at least I think I can. 🤣
Personally, I’d probably tell them to put the phone away or just get up and leave. But since I haven't actually dealt with a situation like that during a hangout yet, it's hard for me to give any concrete advice.
Perhaps that’s where the issue lies—you're constantly searching for something specific.

I don't really have any expectations beyond just hanging out, having fun, and messing around. That’s the core of it for me. Anything beyond that is just a bonus that might happen or might not; I prefer things to feel natural. No expectations whatsoever.

As for me, I don't have any expectations at all. I suppose that makes them pretty low.
You, on the other hand, seem to have these massive expectations, analyzing everything and expecting people to fulfill your specific vision of how friendship should function. Something like that, anyway.

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How do you deal with today's social climate? in Psychology · Jan 13, 2023

Jonathan Fowler14 said:You subtly implied that I should start a family at my age because "that's what everyone does," which had nothing to do with what I actually wrote. How is that helpful? That was literally your very first sentence.

Sure, people start families in their twenties—no need for the "haha" moment—but what does that have to do with the fact that single girls with zero commitments are canceling plans on me with stupid excuses, or hanging out for purely superficial reasons and showing zero respect for people's time? Besides, since when is having a partner and kids a valid excuse to be rude to people and neglect your friends? Don't people in marriages with kids need friends too?

I've talked to two other women my age who became young moms, and we always grab coffee occasionally, and they never flake on me with lame excuses—if I'm even going to compare them to these fake people. We just didn't have deep enough interests for it to turn into a heavy friendship, and that's perfectly fine.

If I seem negative, it's only because your response was arrogant and pointless, and it doesn't help anyone.

Is it possible that you’re perhaps expecting a bit too much from your friends? I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm lecturing here, but I guess there might be some truth to the idea that we sometimes hold our inner circle to an impossibly high standard. Maybe we assume they should instinctively know what we need without us saying a word, which, let's be honest, is probably asking for a miracle most of the time. It's a delicate balance, I suppose—trying to find that sweet spot between having people you can actually rely on and expecting them to be mind readers or saint-like figures who never have a bad day themselves. ☕
I suspect the issue might actually lie with you, personally; I get the feeling that if you were to dive headfirst into everything with everyone right away, it would probably become rather exhausting for everyone involved. At least, that’s how it strikes me, though I certainly wouldn't go so far as to claim I'm absolutely right.

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How do you deal with today's social climate? in Psychology · Jan 12, 2023

Jonathan Fowler14 I suppose I should probably mention that jadeowl2 was saying:
Well, I suppose I should just head out right this second, find myself a life partner, and start building a family, since apparently that’s just what one is expected to do nowadays—and it all sounds so incredibly simple, doesn't it?
Let’s just set aside the whole idea that finding a partner isn't exactly a walk in the park, or the notion that building a family requires some semblance of stability—be it emotional or financial. Personally, I don't possess any of that, nor am I particularly interested in rushing into the whole child-rearing business when my life currently lacks the necessary foundation to even consider it. And we certainly won't be entertaining the possibility that I might simply have no desire for children, or perhaps find myself unable to have them.

And I suppose you're suggesting that I’m the one sitting here playing judge and jury, deciding exactly what everyone should be doing and when they ought to be doing it? I mean, honestly, where on earth does it say in some grand, universal rulebook that these specific requirements must be met at such a precise age? I guess I'm just curious to know which authority you think is dictating these arbitrary timelines.
I suppose there’s no point in pretending that anything truly matters in the grand scheme of things; at the end of the day, we’re all just working ourselves into an early grave anyway. 🙂

Did I ever actually state that something was mandatory? I don't believe I did, though I suppose one could interpret my previous rambling in a dozen different ways if they were looking for a reason to be indignant. 😁
I suppose I was just pointing out that you’re currently in those seasons of life where work and family tend to take center stage. When you're juggling a career and raising kids, it’s not always feasible to be out and about every single day hanging out with people or hitting up various activities; your primary devotion usually goes to your spouse, your children, and your job. Everything else—well, everything else sort of happens whenever there's actually a spare moment to breathe.
I mean, isn't that just a little bit strange? I suppose it feels somewhat off, doesn't it?

It’s not even as if I’m particularly interested in whether you have a partner or how your bank account is looking—honestly, who actually cares about that? I suppose it just feels like you’re being excessively negative regarding those topics, which, if I’m being perfectly candid, comes across as incredibly off-putting and, frankly, just exhausting to deal with.

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How do you deal with today's social climate? in Psychology · Jan 11, 2023

I suppose we should start by acknowledging that there isn't much to go on here, which I guess is somewhat typical for these kinds of discussions, isn't it? It feels like we're staring at a blank canvas, though perhaps that’s just my way of being overly cautious. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I can't help but feel that without a bit more substance, we're all just spinning our wheels in the mud. Still, I'll follow along, if only to see where this might eventually lead.

Jonathan Fowler14 said:Quote : art with Heart

You eventually get used to it. Looking back, the life I have now in my mid-20s would have been totally unimaginable to me when I was just a kid in high school. Back then, I was incredibly social—always had a million different things going on and a group of friends ready for every single activity.
Back in my school days, I used to hang out with a few kids from other grades during recess, or sometimes a small group of us from different classes would all gather together.
I used to take dance classes, which was a great way to stay active and build a solid circle of friends to hang out and work out with.
I used to play video games all the time, and I had a huge group of online friends and a solid crew I’d hang out with regularly.
The group that was mostly just about going out.
The old school crew getting together for coffee after class, studying, and all that.
Things have always been easy for me to sort out. I’m pretty straightforward by nature, and I just don't have the patience for any nonsense or lame excuses.

I can't remember the last time I felt truly lonely or like I didn't have someone by my side. It makes such a difference—on my good days, I have someone to share the joy with, and on my bad days, there's always a shoulder to lean on.

I’ve already started feeling the shift since starting college and moving to Washington, D.C. Even though I'm an open person and genuinely interested in getting to know people, I haven't quite clicked with my immediate group, and I haven't found that specific circle where I can truly be myself. Looking back, maybe it's just the vibe of the city—I seem to get along much better with the students who moved here from smaller towns, though they're definitely in the minority.

At my jobs, the teams have always been established groups that already know each other, so I often get that feeling like I’m not fully accepted for who I am.
I've been involved in quite a few volunteer projects myself, and it’s always the same story. I just don't click with large groups; it usually boils down to surface-level small talk while we're working together. Once the job is done, nobody seems to have the time or the interest to hang out anymore—everyone already has their own established circles and friend groups.

I moved to a smaller town in Germany recently. It’s actually full of expats, so there are plenty of people who feel exactly like I do—everyone is looking for their tribe, but nobody seems willing to fully commit to an individual or a group.

I only have one close friend I grab coffee with to catch up. I haven't really managed to build any long-term friendships from my classes or my job. One group was actually really nice, but they weren't exactly the type to hang out or do things together, so I wouldn't even call it a true friendship. At my last school, people were just so antisocial and disinterested. Only one girl there was truly great; we had such a similar vibe and she was so easy to talk to. It’s ironic because my German isn't the best, yet we understood each other perfectly. Ultimately, though, she has her family and comes from a completely different background, so keeping in touch became difficult.

I had this group that was such a blast at first, but it only lasted a few months before everyone just stopped showing up. We all met spontaneously through a Facebook group; there are quite a few community groups out there for expats.

I’ve come to realize that a lot of these women are just struggling in their own way. It seems like many are overly focused on feminism, or they're feeling unfulfilled in their 30s—lacking family or kids, and either obsessing over their careers or feeling totally lost about who they actually are. They tend to drift from one thing to the next, moving between guys and social circles without ever really settling down. There's always this constant search for something better or more "ideal," as if no one is ever quite good enough. Even friendships feel a bit superficial; it often looks like they’re just looking for the right group to pose with for social media, trying to look social just to appeal to men.

It was a real eye-opener meeting this woman. She looks incredible—easily pushing 40, but you’d swear she was fifteen years younger. She’s got a high-powered career, a massive place, lives solo, no kids, and has never been married, yet she seems profoundly unhappy and depressed. She moved to Canada once, only to end up back in Germany. Even after a year there, she hasn't made an effort to learn a single word of German, then wonders why she can't fit in at work. She just doesn't stay anywhere for long; she refuses to commit to a place or a person. She's cycled through countless relationships and different countries.

I'm done trying to hang out with her. Last time, she texted me two hours late saying she completely forgot we had plans.
Then there was another girl from that group who invited me to a party, only to "forget" to mention she was actually going to a different one with a different crowd. She wouldn't have said a word unless I asked where we were meeting the day before.

Honestly, none of them were really sincere. They all had these ridiculous excuses or just showed zero interest in being a good friend. Between people being glued to their phones or someone deciding to suddenly look for friends right after a breakup... man, I could go on all day.

Over time, I’ve just started focusing on my own interests. I spend an incredible amount of time by myself now—listening to podcasts, reading, gaming, learning how to code, hitting the gym, doing puzzles, and drawing.
If things had been different, I probably would have been doing all this stuff with a group of friends back when I was sixteen.

Money is tight right now, but once I'm back on my feet, I definitely want to sign up for dance classes or join a club. I’m also looking into starting another course or heading back to school—who knows, maybe I'll have better luck this time. It's just hard to justify spending money on gas and tickets when everything is so expensive, especially if it just ends with hanging out with the kind of people I described earlier.

I don't think this whole culture of social consumerism is going to change; if anything, it'll get worse. People are becoming more isolated and retreating into themselves. That's exactly what I've started doing, even though I used to be a total extrovert with tons of different friend groups.

You’re at that stage in life where you're expected to have a partner, kids, and be balancing family life alongside your career.
That’s just how people tend to function during your age group.

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Electric Orgasm in Music · Nov 26, 2022

Andrew Williams23 said:Giles, Electric Light Orchestra, interview..

They’re actually filming a DVD at the factory, apparently putting together a special setlist specifically to celebrate the reissue of their second album.
Tickets are available $33 through Entria.
November 26, 2022, at the Culture Factory in Washington, D.C.
I suppose I'll see some of you there if anyone is planning on going. 👍

Tonight, doors open at 8:00 PM—Electric Light Orchestra kicks off at 9:00 PM. 🙂

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Electric Orgasm in Music · Nov 16, 2022

Giles, Electric Light Orchestra, interview..

They're filming a live DVD at the factory, and they've put together a special setlist specifically to celebrate the reissue of their second album.
Tickets are available $33 through Entria.
November 26, 2022, at the Culture Factory in Washington, D.C.
I suppose I'll see some of you there if anyone actually plans on going. 👍

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Music Marketplace (Vinyl, CDs, Cassettes...) in Music · Nov 5, 2022

I’m on the hunt for an LP disciplina Kicma—ugh, if anyone happens to have a copy lying around, please shoot me a PM. Thanks.

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Galicia in Music · Apr 20, 2022

rustymason92 said:I mean, have they ever actually toured here in the States, and if they haven't, is there even any chance they ever will? 🕺

06/18/2022 - Zmajevac, Baranja.

I seem to recall us discussing this quite some time ago, so I figured I’d bring it back up. 👍

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Concert Announcements - Archive in Music · Apr 19, 2022

June 18, 2022 - Galija performing at The Dragon (Napa Valley, Wine Festival).

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Quitting my job to pursue a better life: Need advice and perspectives. in Psychology & Therapy · Mar 4, 2022

You only get one shot at this life, so you might as well live it in a way that actually makes you happy. Everything else tends to fall into place eventually if you just listen to your gut and chase what fulfills you. And honestly, what’s the worst that could happen if things go south? It’s not like it matters much when you’re already miserable stuck in a dead-end job like this one.
If I were to offer any advice at all, it would be to start networking with actual developers—just hang out, listen, and soak up everything you can. Put in the work, stay driven, and try to find some creative spark.
Oh, and for heaven's sake, don't just lock yourself away in your apartment like a hermit. You really need to get out for at least two or three hours a day—go for a walk, meet up with friends, spend time in a park, or do literally anything that keeps you from feeling totally drained. You have to prevent life from becoming this exhausting, monotonous grind.
Just go for it.

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