I've been wondering whether Germans have 😁 always dubbed their films? Sure, I think it’s easier to follow a dubbed movie. 😁 But on the flip side, you never actually get to hear the actor's original voice. 🤔
Gerald Wilson23 said:Yeah, the kid always ends up taking the fall... It’s pretty pathetic. I just heard this story about our former neighbors' daughter where she was getting physical with her mom, and you just know that at first glance, everyone is going to jump to conclusions and label the girl as some kind of monster or whatever. Man, I’ve seen this exact same drama play out before. This mother used to go absolutely ballistic on her daughter—just constant physical outbursts and locking her inside the house whenever she wanted to actually head out into the city. She wouldn't even let her wear anything remotely more daring than a pair of jeans and a polo shirt, basically hovering over her like a shadow and nitpicking every single choice or decision she made. Fast forward to now, and that daughter has gone ahead and earned her Master’s degree, though she’s definitely got that sensitive artist soul about her. She ended up turning to drinking to cope, so naturally, everyone in the neighborhood looks down on her as some local alcoholic mess, while her "poor" mother gets played as this saintly, self-sacrificing woman who just did her best to raise a difficult child. 🙄😲
That’s exactly why you need to vet who you’re actually starting a family with before you dive into the whole process. I definitely wouldn't sign up for a project like that with someone who thinks it's perfectly fine to lay hands on a kid, or believes they shouldn't have to provide an allowance, or stop them from going out, or just shut down every single question a child asks.👎 Look, I’m all for peace, and I definitely don't think parents should be bickering right in front of their kids—especially when they try to recruit their children to take sides in their marriage drama. When someone starts looking for an audience or an ally in the middle of a domestic dispute, that's a massive red flag. It's just wrong. Minor disagreements are whatever, really—just people bumping heads or having different takes on things—but when stuff actually gets heavy, you handle that one-on-one.😉
It’s the same logic: you need a license to carry a firearm, and you need one to drive a car, yet any idiot, God help us, 😁 can end up working with children...
Drew Morgan said:Honestly, the whole idea of destroying a toy seems straight-up sociopathic to me. Every child is different. What happens when you have a kid who's hurting animals? Do you call a therapist? For some people, moderate corporal punishment might be an acceptable disciplinary tool. For others, it isn't. It's all about the situation.
That’s exactly it... I agree that physical punishment isn't necessary in 99% of cases, but there's always that 1%. Clearly, some people don't see it that way. 🤷
I didn't mean to single out American productions specifically; I was referring to films in English more broadly. To be specific... a friend of mine couldn't bring himself to watch an elite group film because, regardless of what 👍 or 🙏 might be, "it wasn't in English, and he's used to watching movies in English" 😁... I'll admit that even for me, it can occasionally be a slight hurdle since my English is excellent while my knowledge of other languages is almost non-existent. However, it never occurs to me to skip a movie just because it isn't in English... in fact, I often find them easier to follow, and there are many times I simply turn off the subtitles to listen to the dialogue directly 🙂
I will confess, though, that I struggle with Asian cinema. If I'm not paying extremely close attention, I can easily lose track of who is who 😁; the character names don't feel familiar to me, and at times, the actors all seem quite similar 😁
Dana Hill73 said:Look, my kid has never given me that kind of attitude, goddammit. 🤷 But it’s not like they just bolt to bed immediately either. They’ve got their own little tactics—the whole "Oh Mommy, I missed you, let's cuddle" routine to stall for time. It’s constant. One minute we're snuggling, then suddenly they're hungry, then thirsty, then they need attention... and by the time I finally lose my cool and raise my voice, they play the victim and sulk off to their room. ☕
Luckily, my voice sounds like a drag queen from Rio, so when I do snap, it doesn't exactly come off as "gentle." 😁
My nephew isn't a bad or disobedient kid, but sometimes he just... gets into it. Like the other night. It was basically a test of parental authority, and how are you supposed to respond to that? Call me primitive or an unrefined hillbilly if you want, 😁 but I don't see how his dignity was violated when he got swatted a couple of times with a wooden spoon and retreated to his room. 🤷
To be honest, this feels pretty fascist to me. 😁 It sounds like an "absolute" mindset—the idea that any physical punishment is inherently harmful to a child and that there are simply no circumstances where FC would ever be necessary. 😁To is how they think: anyone who has a single glass of wine is an alcoholic, and anyone who smokes a single joint is a drug addict. Anyone who hits their child even once strips them of their dignity. Anyone who pulls a kid by the hair is raising a future bully. And anyone who resorts to hitting a child with a wooden spoon is simply an abuser.
Look, I don't mean any harm by this, but honestly? I really wish that one day, after twenty-five rounds of clarifications, explanations, and bans, those "absolute" experts finally experience what it's like when their precious little golden rule fails them for the twenty-sixth time. I’d love to see how they handle that.
Take a look at this scenario from one of those parenting books... someone suggests the little girl was just hungry, thirsty, hot, or bored. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't, but did it occur to anyone that she might have been testing her brother? She could be trying to assert her authority over him, and no amount of asking, "Are you thirsty? Are you hungry? Is it too hot? Could you help me find a book?" would ever work. Perhaps she’s simply undisciplined and doesn't know how to act appropriately given the situation...
I don't believe children are born inherently good or bad... just like everywhere else, everyone tests boundaries. Kids test their parents' limits, boyfriends test their girlfriends' limits, and so on. Let's go back to my nephew 😁... "It's 10:00 PM, time for bed." "No." "Come on, you have school in the morning." "No." "But you're going to be exhausted tomorrow." "I don't care." "If you don't go to your room right now, no cartoons for ten days." "Whatever..."
So, what then? You can either physically lead the kid to bed—which counts as physical discipline—or pick up a wooden spoon and give him a few swats 😁 so he finally understands. Once he does, the next time he's told it's late and time for bed, he'll actually go.
I'd love to hear what those proponents of "alternative methods" would do in this specific situation. If threats of future consequences don't work, and explaining why it's late or why he needs sleep for school doesn't work... what's left to do? Tell me—I honestly don't know. 🤷
I’ve decided to step away from this thread, but there is one thing that has been bothering me so much I just have to say it... where on earth are you all getting this idea that any kind of physical discipline is an assault on dignity or some deep violation of rights that leaves permanent scars? It’s the same old story here: constant talk about "abuse." Of course, senseless, daily beatings cause psychological trauma, but honestly, if someone gets corrected a few times for something they actually deserved, why treat it like a catastrophe? Please, explain that to me... it feels like you're missing the bigger picture. Abuse is one thing, but physical discipline is something else entirely. You can't lump them together in the same category. Based on how people are posting here, you'd think it was just as harmful to hit a kid over every little mistake as it would be to give them a firm swat once a year when they truly mess up big time...
Matthew Morales17 said:Someone else here mentioned that they definitely won't hit their child. They don't even have a kid yet, but they already know they won't. I know this guy in my neighborhood who has 15 kids—it's total chaos, constant noise, fighting, and mayhem everywhere you look. The police show up almost every day, and it's been like that for years. Those kids have nothing but problems. So, do I believe the parenting style of this forum user, who claims she won't hit her kids (whenever she eventually has them), or do I believe the reality of this guy who actually manages 15 kids in practice and, according to you, knows everything there is to know about upbringing because he's a "practitioner"? You? Do you actually believe what you wrote (the part I bolded)? 👍
Let's find the most extreme and radical example possible, then use that as the foundation for building our theory. Sounds like a plan. 👍 In my opinion, anyone who chooses to have fifteen children isn't quite thinking straight. 😵
It’s actually quite impressive when you think about it—finding someone like Marica Marić who never even cracked open a parenting book, yet somehow raised two children to be responsible, happy, and fulfilled adults. What exactly are we supposed to make of that? Based on what you've said, she seems to have less insight into parenting than you do, given that you've read through the entire section—but then again, you don't have kids of your own. 😕
Lawrence Wilson35 As follows: Is setting boundaries and maintaining authority somehow viewed as an affront to someone else's dignity?😕 So, we're supposed to believe that authority is built through physical discipline?😢 I will strip away your self-awareness just to earn your respect.😲 It's just a classic power play. We are teaching our children to respect rules and penalties rather than respecting people. We often teach our children to be people who are controlled by external forces, allowing others to dictate the course of their lives. We instruct them to disregard their true selves, which ultimately prevents them from practicing self-respect and self-love. When will we finally realize that the prosperity of our entire nation depends on the well-being of every single individual? It only works if we learn to love and respect ourselves first; otherwise, we can't truly extend that same respect to others. The reverse simply doesn't work.
There is an alternative. Let’s stop kidding ourselves and quit making excuses just to satisfy our own hunger for power. Do we actually want our children to respect sanctions, or should they be learning to respect us first? Playing these kinds of power games in the recent past led to devastating consequences. We have much to learn from them.
It’s unbelievable... I feel like those belts around my waist have completely stripped away my sense of self and dragged my dignity through the dirt. Of course they have, but then again, maybe I don't even realize it myself. I can't bring myself to respect or like them, much like anyone else who grew up dealing with physical discipline from their parents. I feel like I’ve missed so much in this thread. 😵
Hannah White2 said:If you bother to watch a few pornić, you'll realize women actually have a clitoris—which, hey, might guarantee you some decent sex, but... knowledge is always useful, though obviously, it doesn't work for YOU..
Right 😉... I bow down to the paper theorist 🙏 Practice matters, truly... many beautiful theories fall apart the moment they face a real-world situation. Did nobody ever tell you that? Haven't you noticed? Then it's obvious you're severely lacking in actual experience 😛
Porn really teaches people about sex, clearly :lol.... have you actually ever had sex? 😛
Hannah White2 said:Honestly, nothing beats having a buddy over, you yell out "Hey babe, grab us some bourbon!"—of course, bourbon—and she's there in a heartbeat... So how on earth is a kid supposed to ignore you?😁 Real talk: parenting is all about how the parents communicate with each other.
If I’m running my mouth being negative about gay people😛 then tomorrow, during puberty, my kid sees someone of that orientation on TV at an anti-gay rally...
You raise them by setting an example—call it whatever you want—not by using belts or some ridiculous corporal punishment nonsense. My music teacher, Mazur, used to yank me by the hair right behind the ear if I didn't hit the right note on the flute, which is why today I won't sing and wouldn't touch an instrument if you paid me. One single tug and just like that, music was dead to me—and I could've been the next Matija Dedić...
And maybe even if Mozart himself had taught you, you wouldn't have made it...😁 my math teacher used to pull my hair behind my ear too... and yeah, I don't love math, but I didn't love it before that either😁 though I was always quiet during class...
Genetics, environment, social circles—are we really saying none of that matters? Is the burden of everything falling solely on the parents? By that logic, if you have good, responsible parents, every child should turn out exactly the same. I’m not so sure about that...
Generally speaking, those without children don't truly understand parenting. They might know the theory "on paper," but we all know how much you can manipulate paper. It's like love. You can read 1,500 love poems or 250 romance novels, but until you actually fall in love, you have no idea what it feels like. It’s the same with other things; you can look at photos, watch movies, or read all the textbooks you want, and you can daydream all day 😁 but until you actually experience sex, you don't truly know what it is. So why would raising children be any different? It is entirely possible—in fact, it's the reality 😁—that someone with one or more children who hasn't read a single book on the subject knows far more about parenting than someone without kids who has studied an entire library dedicated to "child rearing." 😁... I will always trust hands-on experience over pure theory. No book can account for every unique situation, every different child, or every unexpected event. I'm not saying theories are useless or shouldn't be studied, but paper can claim anything, whereas real life is almost always different from the textbook version 😬 of life... Therefore, claiming to know how to raise children when you don't have any (yes, I do this too 😁) is, to put it mildly, unprofessional. It's especially problematic when people use absolutes like, "I'll never..." Well, we'll see. 😁
I was hit with a belt maybe three or four times growing up, usually when I was doing something truly terrible. 😁 We eventually ended up with a dictatorship, heavy religious influence, Bush 😂 and a nation that’s just foolish and immature... honestly, it’s been everything. How is a parent supposed to establish necessary authority if they can't find a way to compel a child toward certain behaviors? If no other methods work at all, what then? Do you just let them do whatever they want, or drag them to a therapist? Look, time and time again... we don't live in an ideal world where every kid is good and where talking things out or setting boundaries always works. Some parents might not even know how to communicate or explain things... what are we supposed to do with them? Should they just give in and let a child do whatever pops into their head because modern child psychology is offended by any kind of physical discipline?
I'm not implying—and I know you'll jump on me for this, so I'll say it first—that every parent who occasionally uses physical discipline lacks other options. But what if there aren't any other ways? What if you have a little brat who is just incredibly defiant and arrogant? What then? Are you supposed to buy 23 different books and hunt through them for answers you might never actually find?
To go back to my dog, I tried training him using those "modern methods," and it failed miserably. After I disciplined him a few times with a rolled-up newspaper and made sure he understood the consequences, he stopped peeing in the house. Now... maybe I'm wrong, maybe I did something incorrectly, or maybe some dogs are just built in a way where nothing else "clicks." With all due respect, why can't people accept that there are certain children who simply won't understand anything else... at least not always, and not in every situation?
I don't have kids myself, but I spent some time living under the same roof as my sister, her husband, and their little boy. He wasn't a bad kid by nature, but he certainly had his moments where he’d act out just to see how far he could push his parents' boundaries... refusing to listen or stop what he was doing no matter what. To be honest, a quick swat was sometimes the only thing that worked, even though they tried everything else first. I’m just saying you really have to experience it before you can claim to know the answer. I'm not suggesting that there aren't parents out there who have never laid a hand on their child... but it feels a bit naive when people without children weigh in on what kids are actually capable of 😁. Similarly, you might have a "golden child" who is an absolute saint and never does anything to warrant discipline 😁, whereas other parents might think they have an angel, only to find out they're dealing with a little terror...
Hannah White2 said:You're right, it’s not exactly a walk in the park. That's why you have to make a rock-solid decision—if you slip up, you can't just spiral into a depression and throw in the towel. You’ve gotta keep swinging.
Society is basically undergoing this massive overhaul right now. Unlike back in the day, both parents are out working full-time shifts, and kids spend most of their lives being passed around between daycare workers who eventually just burn out. Then, the parents themselves are exhausted from grinding away at jobs they absolutely hate, so when they finally crawl home to their kids, they're just looking out for their own sanity. That’s what’s driving everything we see today—it isn't some lack of physical punishment.
I mean, even those parents who actually try to break the cycle of generational violence—they still crack sometimes. They end up oscillating wildly between extremes because they're just stretched too thin...
This debate is ultimately futile because both sides are so deeply entrenched in their views that neither will budge. For some, discipline might mean physical punishment, whereas for me, it's often the most effective way to teach a lesson.
I’m sorry, but you’re just making things up now to score points. Give me a link to any post where I actually said it was okay to hit a girl, and then immediately take me out to dinner at the most expensive restaurant you know. That was a really low blow on your part.
Oh, so now anyone who occasionally pulls a kid's hair or gives them a little swat with a wooden spoon is labeled a monster who beats women and animals? Your logic is truly something else.
And what does whether or not you have children have to do with this? Maybe one day you'll remind me 😉... Everyone loves to talk about these perfect scenarios where their future little angel messes up, and they instantly repent after a quick explanation, realizing their mistake and saying, "Mommy, I'll never do it again." Well, I’d love to be there one day when reality hits and things aren't nearly as easy as you've described. Then we'll see 😉
Have you ever heard the saying, "Never say never"? 😉
It’s honestly amusing when people attack you just for starting a discussion. It feels like they're implying that because you're bringing up a topic 25 years later, it must have left some deep, lasting scar on you. 🤣 If I start a thread to open the topic of pedophilia... does that make me one? If I start a thread about the German military in WW2, am I suddenly a Nazi? Or if I discuss old political figures from the past, am I labeled a radical? 🤣... and so on, it goes. It's absurd.
Some people just refuse to grasp that we aren't all cut from the same cloth. You can't solve every single issue through dialogue, setting examples, or bans. To be honest, I find it interesting when this thread is filled with people who don't even have children—and look, I don't have any either, but still 😁—or those who say they never want kids yet feel entitled to weigh in here. I truly wonder what all these "I don't have kids, but I'd never lay a hand on my own child" types will do when their little ones actually act out. After twenty-five explanations and clarifications, will they try a twenty-sixth explanation, or will they finally reach for a belt?
On the other hand, kids used to get disciplined physically all the time, and I certainly didn't notice the "older generations" turning into psychopaths, abusers, or broken individuals... at least not any more than today's youth. From what I hear from educators—I know a few teachers—and parents of the current generation, things seem much worse now. Why is that? 🤷Whether physical discipline or the lack thereof played a role, I think it would be worth conducting some actual research to see which group is "worse"... the kids who occasionally face a belt, or those who are raised entirely by other methods regardless of how they behave.
No two children are exactly alike, of course... what applies to one kid might not apply to Ivanna, and vice versa... I won't get too bogged down in deep philosophy here. I wasn't exactly a terror or a rebellious child, but I certainly wasn't a saint either 😉 😁... My parents would talk things through with me, try to set an example, or ground me by taking away my phone or keeping me from seeing friends. Sometimes those lessons stuck, and sometimes they didn't, but there were a few specific times when a belt was used that actually made me stop what I was doing... I remember being a kid and thinking during one of those marathon 😁 lectures, "Man, just give me a spanking and let's be done with it, rather than sitting here listening to this sermon." 😁 I agree that physical discipline should always be the absolute last resort, but I also don't think it should be completely ruled out for everyone in every single situation. To recap... for three or four things where I got disciplined physically, I stopped immediately—but for other stuff, different methods of guidance were what actually worked. It is what it is. 🤷