On this forum in general, and especially in the psychology section, there is no middle ground; everything is viewed in extremes of black and white. That’s why we have a group here where you simply can't explain certain nuances to anyone. For instance, if you mention that experiencing physical discipline three times in a lifetime can leave lasting scars on a child 🤣... people immediately jump to calling Child Protective Services to have those parents stripped of their rights and the kids sent to foster care.
Kyle Lee7 said:Look, you can throw ten laughing emojis at this if you want... But what you’re saying really speaks for itself, whether you want to admit it or not.
Let's just agree that your dad is some kind of ultimate expert who raised such a "wonderful" guy (just look at the profile picture). We should also probably agree that violence only breeds more violence. Which seems pretty obvious from what's being shown here.
It's obvious that something I wrote really struck a nerve, since you've been "harassing" me 🤣 from thread to thread, and nothing I say is ever good enough for you... Fine. As others have kindly pointed out, the way you respond says everything about your own character 😉... you're being quite aggressive 😛 And no matter what I say, someone is always there to twist my words. I see some people need to go back to kindergarten... so let's walk through this. So, I say that one shouldn't seek therapy for every little thing. Okay. You claim that's just my delayed rebellion against my father's authority—since he happens to be a psychiatrist and more of an expert in this field than both of us combined. But no... you keep lecturing me on parenting, even going so far as to bring up my avatar 🤣 and making jokes about how violence breeds violence. Sure, I guess I am a violent guy 🙂 clearly. Find something else to do instead of hunting me down with these ridiculous arguments. It's honestly laughable. Just chill out... or better yet, find some therapy for yourself—it seems like you actually need it. 😛
🤣 😂 I think you're missing the mark here... my dad always says (and if anyone truly understands the situation, it’s probably him 😁) that people have started doing just about anything these days—whether it's necessary or not—including seeking out psychiatrists. I mean, I get it, doctors find it perfectly fine 😉, but we are clearly trending toward those overly sensitive 😁 Americans who seem to have a therapist for everything, often just because they need someone to talk to...
John Parker5 said:Ladies, look at it this way: imagine if your husband or boyfriend laid a hand on you every single time you lied about being at work when you actually spent those six or seven hours grabbing coffee with a friend. Or guys, picture your wife losing her cool and hitting you because you were busy grilling fish and accidentally torched her favorite rosebush in the yard. Do you think you’d deserve a physical hit, or just a really intense, heated argument? Now, take all that and imagine how a child feels when they get struck by the one person they love more than anything in the world... p.s. I know these examples are pretty basic, but honestly, nothing else popped into my head right then. 😁
You can't compare children to adults—to fully formed individuals and personalities. And let’s not go to extremes here. No one is suggesting kids should be beaten for every little thing... here is another example: the last time I got hit with a belt was when my old man caught me stealing cigarettes again after several warnings and punishments 😁 back when I was in second or third grade... well, after that belt, I didn't touch a cigarette 🤣 for about ten years.
Judging by my nephew... he certainly knew how to be disobedient. Do this and that... I won't. Fine... I won't, I won't, and I won't... then my sister or brother-in-law would grab a wooden spoon and give me a few swats on the backside... after that, there was no need for actual hitting; they would just pull out the spoon 😁 whenever I acted up, and you'd see how quickly I'd behave.
Honestly, you’d basically be burning his favorite teddy bear right in front of him... I swear, that's easily five hundred times more cruel than just a little discipline with a belt. 😁 Professional counseling... it seems to be the big trend lately. I suppose all those high-priced psychologists and psychiatrists have to make a living somehow 😉... but professional help versus a few swats on the backside? I'm picking the latter. 😁
To be honest, I wasn't particularly afraid of fire itself... and since I was only about seven or eight at the time, who knows if I even fully grasped the idea that I could actually burn a house down? What I really feared was getting beaten 😁
If a kid tried to light a fire on the balcony and ended up setting the shutters ablaze, and you barely managed to stop the whole house from going up in flames, what would you have done? I would have sat him down and said, "Look at what you've done, you little troublemaker..." Well, because I did that, I ended up getting a beating and learned some hard lessons. That was that. 😁
Let’s clear one thing up first: I’m not a parent, so I can’t speak from "that side" of the fence, but what are your thoughts on occasional physical discipline for children? Of course, we are talking about "occasional" and completely rational discipline... I’m not talking about any kind of beating or hitting someone for no reason, nor is it about being excessive over every little thing. Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with a kid getting a belt when they truly mess up big time.
Here is an example from my own life... I think I was probably hit maybe three times in my entire life, and it was always the "classic method" 😁 a belt to the backside... the worst it ever got was when I nearly burned the house down... and let me tell you, the punishment that followed 😉 really stuck with me, and it never even crossed my mind to play with fire near the house again 😁.
So, what do you all think? I know it’s become incredibly trendy lately to shout from the rooftops against any form of physical discipline, arguing that everything can be explained through conversation and setting examples (good luck with 😵 )—but has that approach actually led us to today's "youth" generations? They are undeniably more malicious 😁, cocky, and disrespectful than previous ones... you name it. I remember my elementary school teachers used to pull my hair when I caused trouble, whereas today's teachers aren't even allowed to raise their voices at kids... maybe that's why we actually held them in respect, rather than pushing them toward certain behaviors I hear kids are getting into these days...
At the end of the day, most of us have probably been disciplined at least once for doing something stupid, so did that make us worse people?
One more thing—people are going to jump on me for this—but there isn't much difference between raising kids and training dogs :d. I might be exaggerating a bit, but hear me out. Six years ago, I got a small puppy 😍... and I spent time reading those "modern" dog training books (I had two dogs before him) that claim you should never hit a dog or rub its nose in its accidents and things like that. Fine... for a few months, I tried raising him using just a raised voice or ignoring him, as the books suggest. Results: zero. After I finally rubbed his nose in his mess four or five times, used some newspapers, and sent him outside, he stopped doing it in the house altogether...
I frequently find myself double-checking if I locked the car or turned off the gas valve 😬 though I don't go as far as counting tiles or ensuring everything is perfectly aligned and the parking brake is perfectly straight 😁
By the way, have you all read the thread about "living with someone struggling with mental illness"? While it covers some extreme situations and quite tragic examples—not to mention there are plenty of positive ones too—honestly, I wouldn't want myself 🙂 or any of my future children to ever be put in those kinds of positions.
James Ramirez10 said:Look, why focus exclusively on someone who is ill? I assume you have other criteria in mind; that shouldn't be the only factor. But since this specific topic is what’s currently on the table, we'll stick to it.
Of course it isn't the only factor, but I don't see much point in discussing the others within this particular thread.🤷
gentletiger20 said:I could probably handle someone dealing with an illness, but selfishness? No way. Like, I might give a chance to someone struggling with schizophrenia, but if they hold views like Legionov's... man, I wouldn't care if he was Brad Pitt himself, or if he had muscles like a bodybuilder, or even if he was loaded with cash. Because let's be real—if you listen to someone like Legion say, "but if shit hits the fan while I love you, I won't leave," I just wouldn't buy it. If you're a selfish person, you're a selfish person. Eventually, when things actually go south, I’m expecting that kind of person to crack under the pressure... For example, if I get sick, sure, he’s there at first because he loves me, right? But then I’m not that same old fun, beautiful version of myself anymore, and eventually, he gets bored, the spark dies, and he leaves me hanging—sick, miserable, just a shadow of the person he originally fell for... Maybe I'm looking too far ahead, but that’s just how my brain works.
To me, the whole point of love is sharing life, not just being someone's cheerleader. (I can entertain myself or hang out with my girlfriends or my besties, but I can't *share* my life with them in that way). Someone who's actually ready to give their all to me and take what I have to offer is someone capable of loving me—even if that exchange comes with some messy baggage, that's secondary. But on the flip side, someone pushing views like Legion's clearly isn't ready to truly share everything with a partner, so in my book, their ability to love is pretty questionable... I'd probably run the other way from someone like that. I wouldn't think they're a bad person, per se, I just wouldn't ever trust them to have my back.
I mean, maybe in a specific, real-life scenario, someone like Legion would actually step up and act like a better person than I would, but hey, we're just talking hypothetically here...
In reality, most relationships eventually fail. As you mentioned, people grow tired, feelings fade, and individuals simply change over time. That isn't necessarily tied to mental illness; it’s just a natural part of life. It happens. I remember getting my heart broken when I was deeply in love, yet I also ended things with women who were clearly devoted to me. Am I wrong? When it does happen, the partner facing the situation handles it much more easily if they are mentally healthy rather than struggling. Isn't that true?
The capacity to love isn't the issue, but doesn't love itself have an "expiration date"? Perhaps not every single instance, but I'd say 95% of them 😁 certainly do. Then, hypothetically, you find yourself in a position where you no longer want to be with someone who still loves you... and if that person is also dealing with mental health issues, it becomes a hundred times harder. You end up feeling like absolute garbage. Every time I walked away from a girl who wasn't being cold toward me, I felt like total trash 😢...
Angela Morgan3 said:You say "with all due respect to people who are ill," which sounds so hypocritical to me. Your message clearly shows you're discriminating against people with schizophrenia, yet you mention having "due respect." Sadly, that's just how society works—we claim to have "due respect" formally, but in practice, we'd rather just lock those people away behind four walls so nobody even has to think about them. Nobody actually feels empathy for the ill, for instance, being gay is a personal identity, whereas people don't choose to be sick—but somehow, the gay population (who openly advocate for their sexual orientation) faces less discrimination than people with schizophrenia, who are basically at the bottom of the barrel in groups that society marginalizes, like gay people, HIV+ individuals, and so on. Plus, they have to hide and feel ashamed of being ill,
That’s not right. Being gay isn't a choice you make... I'm just not sure where you're getting that from. 🤷 As for everything else... I don't think I could ever be with someone who was hairy. 😁 Is that discrimination? I could never be with someone if we have nothing to talk about. Would that be considered discriminatory? I also wouldn't date anyone who doesn't know how to cook. 😁Is that discrimination? Some might see it that way, but I would simply call them my own personal criteria. Another friend of mine struggled with depression for over two years. There were moments when things were incredibly heavy, and I honestly wasn't sure how to approach him or what to say. But I refused to turn my back on him or treat him differently because of his struggle. Thankfully, he is doing much better today. On the other hand, a friend I mentioned earlier went through a really rough patch. He refused to stick with his therapy, and honestly, he became a completely different person. I tried to stay in touch and listen to what he was going through, but once I realized we were just spinning our wheels, it became exhausting. He’d come over for coffee, and instead of a normal conversation, he’d spend nearly two hours spiraling about how the mob is tracking him or how he thinks his neighbor is bugging his house. It’s frustrating. If you refuse to seek professional help and let your personality shift this drastically, it becomes impossible to have a rational conversation. I'm at a loss for what to do.🤷 I think I need to cut contact. At the end of the day, my own mental health and peace of mind have to come first—especially since he clearly isn't seeking any professional help or therapy. It's just the right thing to do. 👎
goldenpilot20 said:Look, silentpilot6 is just a guy who treats every minor setback like it's the end of the world. If his own mother were struggling with mental health issues, he’d probably react the exact same way. Besides, when schizophrenia is managed properly with medication, it isn't the monster people think it is. Most of the fear comes from Hollywood movies blowing paranoia and schizophrenia out of proportion.
I wouldn't call myself some "tough guy" 😁, but I look at it this way: there are so many women in the world that I should be able to find someone who fits what I'm looking for, based on the traits that matter to me...
As for other conditions—one of my ex's former friends had borderline personality disorder, and honestly, she could be incredibly difficult to deal with sometimes. 😁
Also, my mom isn't mentally ill; she's a psychiatrist. Though, to be fair, I don't think any psychiatrist is completely sane 😬—I know that better than anyone 😁—but she's my mother and I love her regardless of anything 👍... Even if she were mentally ill, it wouldn't change how I feel, but then it wouldn't be a choice on my part. Choosing to enter a relationship is my decision.
Linda Taylor11 said:That's exactly the point. Not everyone is ready to dump that much love and energy into someone, and honestly, it just doesn't fit the lifestyle some people want to live.
That's true, I admit it. But hey... at least on this forum, I'm not pretending to be some perfect Good Samaritan, which seems to be what so many others are doing.
Amanda Myers3 said:I always seem to run into these oddballs 😁 One’s suicidal, another is emotionally stunted, a third thinks they’re seeing aliens, and a fourth is back to wanting to end it all... yet somehow, I still find them endearing 🤣
I can't tell if I'm a magnet for people like this or if they're just drawn to me... 🤷 Doesn't really matter 😳 😍
There is a certain "venting" thread on Reddit 😁 (not sure if anyone has come across it) where people share their painful romantic histories... in several of those stories, people mention having specific mental health diagnoses... well, I won't say more—just read for yourselves what was happening in those relationships.
When it comes down to your own happiness, shouldn't everyone be a little selfish? Or are there those—and I know they exist—who prefer playing the victim until they eventually just sabotage themselves? There aren't any severe mental illnesses in my immediate family—I mean, who isn't a little bit crazy these days, but nothing has ever been officially diagnosed 😁. On the other hand, I actually have three 😬 very close relatives who are psychiatrists 😉... essentially, I've been surrounded by these issues my entire life. It used to be a subject of genuine interest to me, plus several close family friends were either personally diagnosed or had immediate family members dealing with it. I also had a neighbor and a good friend struggle with schizophrenia, so I’ve seen firsthand how much that changes a person.
In any case, I have a very clear perspective on these matters... I'd go so far as to say I understand it better than 90% of people who haven't personally experienced a major mental health crisis. And yes, I still maintain that it's better not to enter a relationship with someone facing those struggles... Again, I want to apologize to anyone living with these disorders, but this is simply my personal stance. From various sources, I've heard countless stories involving immense self-sacrifice, complicated problems, and some truly unpleasant situations that I wouldn't want to get caught up in—at least not by consciously choosing to date someone with those specific challenges. Can I be blamed for that? Am I lacking enough humanity? Perhaps... but on one hand, you have people living with these conditions who can't be objective about the topic (which is understandable), on the other, you have people who might not be informed enough (so they can't be objective either), and then there are people who perhaps understand the issue "a bit better"... I consider myself a member of 🙂 that third group . Repeat-nikati, I am not belittling anyone, nor do I hold any prejudices—regardless of what you might think (look, I've been in contact since childhood with at least ten different people carrying various diagnoses). But maybe I am being too selfish... maybe I just don't have the will or the desire, but honestly, that's just my opinion. Love often isn't enough even when both people are completely "healthy and sound," let alone in more complicated circumstances... If I already knew a girl struggled with this, I would never start anything with her—not even a 😉 one-night stand. On the other hand, if I didn't know, or if symptoms only appeared after I had already fallen for her... well, obviously I wouldn't just walk away from her solely because of that, especially since I have three psychiatrists on speed dial who could likely help her. 🙂
redharbor9 said:If they're dealing with scleroderma—I'd have zero issues 😍
And about schizo... if we're looking at how common these things actually are (like, schizo is only around 1% of the population), everyone would be on their own if we just played the odds. Doesn't matter if it's environmental or genetic...
Honestly, I've pointed this out several times before: 😁 there is a massive difference between knowing what's coming and being left in the dark...
I have no idea where you got the idea that you could just sleep with her one night and then walk away 🤷 I honestly knew what kind of responses I’d get when I started this thread... damn 🤷
I know this sounds pretty heavy, but I think it’s a really valid question to ask... Look, I don't mean to be blunt, but I wouldn't want to enter a relationship—unless, of course, I was already in one, which changes everything—with someone who either has, or has a high probability of developing, something like schizophrenia. As far as my own family goes, there hasn't been a single instance of mental illness to my knowledge...