Posts by silentpilot6

Jeremy Brooks6 said:The sweet spot is being with someone where the sex is great and you can just have a chill, casual conversation without any pressure.
Because people lack that genuine connection, love becomes this tired, cliché concept. People try to define it through escapism (cheating), money (ego), power (social status), beauty (showing off to others), or even honesty (using someone else as an emotional dumping ground for your own problems); stuff like that.
A little bit of all those things isn't necessarily bad, but they shouldn't be the main focus.
Ugh... that's a heavy burden to carry for the person on the receiving end.
😉

So your definition of a good relationship is just a "friends with benefits" situation? 😁I don't see it that way at all. Is it really impossible to love someone, be in love, and still have great sex and easy conversation? I find I can't even fall in love without those elements being present.😬

Drew Morgan said:silentpilot6: The logic is flawed. It’s like trying to fix a broken engine by polishing the hood.

Look, we’re talking about a preventative campaign here, not a cure.

That’s the thing about illness—it's unpredictable. With the flu, you can usually count on five days. These cases are far more complicated than that.

It’s easy to throw stones when you aren't the one standing in the line of fire.🙂 You’ve probably never heard the old saying that people can't learn from someone else's mistakes. They only learn from their own—because you need the sting of your own failure to finally get the lesson through your thick skull.

Sure, it's possible. But everyone has issues (except you, apparently), and those problems manifest in different ways. Labeling pushovers as merely "stupid" is lazy. That is a massive oversimplification of a complex, multi-layered issue.

Alternatively, if we buy into the theory that love means unconditional acceptance and expecting absolutely nothing in return, then fine. In that case, pushovers are the only ones who truly LOVE. 😍

Let's take this step by step. 😁
Wasn't this supposed to be preventative too? Didn't girls who were just starting down the path of starvation join those discussions? Didn't they ask for advice on how to reach some twisted, unrealistic beauty ideal? Weren't they exchanging "brilliant ideas" 😵 on how to practically stop eating without their parents noticing? Sorry-da, if this had been a topic reserved only for long-term sufferers, your critique might actually carry weight... but that wasn't the case here.
Sorry, you can't claim they weren't reading it, especially when girls at the very beginning of an eating disorder—or heading straight for one—were actively participating.

Moving on... being foolish is an illness, but I'll ask again: can something characterized as a "temporary" lapse 😵 really be called something that lasts for years? If it lasts for years, then there is clearly something fundamentally wrong with those people.

Personal experience is the best teacher, I agree... and I've learned most of my lessons that way, though I have occasionally learned from the mistakes of others. Have you?

You call it a multilayered problem... I say people love playing philosopher, making things unnecessarily complicated when they could be simple. It's quite straightforward: you don't stay with a jerk, you don't start anything with an idiot, you don't act like a doormat for a moron, and you don't sit around weeping over a fool... if you do, it means you aren't thinking clearly and likely have much deeper, hidden issues to deal with.

But love isn't unconditional... except perhaps in a parent-child relationship, though even then, it's not always the case.
Accepting someone as they are? Fine, but why accept an idiot exactly as he is? Why accept a jealous coward exactly as he is? Why accept someone with a hundred flaws? Expecting nothing isn't the definition of love... reciprocity is. How can you fall for someone who gives you nothing, or only negative things? How can any "normal" person fall in love like that?
You say fools are the only ones who love... so what are everyone else doing? 😕Do they not like them?
Of course they do, but they have standards; they possess a bit of common sense and simply refuse to tolerate idiots.

I wanted to jot down some thoughts regarding the root causes of infidelity... just a random list.

1. Masochism. Some people clearly have specific needs and desires that they satisfy in the bedroom, 😁 so they allow themselves to be stepped on in every other aspect of the relationship—and honestly, it seems they almost enjoy it.

2. The delusion that you can change someone. That is completely false. You might make small concessions or find a "middle ground," but that only works for minor issues. Core character traits don't just shift... you can't teach an old dog new tricks, much like how obsessive jealousy (which usually stems from a mountain of other issues) won't just vanish.
A chronic slacker isn't going to transform overnight, cheaters will likely cheat as long as they live, and addicts face an uphill battle that most fail. People try to fix these types and end up getting burned themselves. You have to learn to recognize the signs and walk away early. Trying to fix a broken Mississippi never works for anyone, unless you fall into category number one 🙂... in which case, you're just asking for it.

3. Closely tied to point two is the "savior complex"—something quite common among women. They feel they can rescue or reform someone. They tell themselves that nobody understands him, nobody loves him, and nobody wants him... but she will. She’ll take this poor, lonely, misunderstood soul and show him what true love feels like. 😂 😵
To give you a real-world example... a girl from my neighborhood (she's smart and attractive enough, but definitely suffers from this savior syndrome) was with a guy from the same area for nearly five years. Almost nobody wanted anything to do with him, and there were very good reasons for that. She’d spend her time lecturing people about how pitiful he was, how lonely he felt, and how no one understood him... claiming she wasn't "like everyone else." Eventually, she got pregnant, and the moment the baby arrived, the guy vanished into thin air 🙂... only then did she realize why nobody had bothered with him in the first place.

There's more to say, but I don't have the energy right now. 😬

Amanda Flores88 said:It probably happens when someone starts getting a weird kick out of the chaos, or maybe when they just don't have anything better to do—no real responsibilities or bigger problems weighing them down. The reason can be super lame. Boredom. When you've got a "difficult" partner, you spend all your energy managing the relationship and dealing with them while everything else just runs on autopilot. It adds this weird layer of tension and drama to an otherwise tiny life.

But once you actually have other things in your life that keep you busy and happy—or heaven forbid, actual problems you need to tackle immediately—those confusing, draining relationships just become a massive headache that you want to get rid of ASAP.

That makes some sense, but wouldn't any "normal" person 😬 just move on from those kinds of relationships? Otherwise, they'd have nothing left to do but stare at the walls or knit sweaters.😁

Who’s talking about dating an avatar? You have to admit, you're being a bit sensitive here. 😬
All this talk about falling in love... how long does that phase actually last? Three, maybe four months at most. Meanwhile, how much longer do people stay unfaithful? Way longer than that.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Topic: Is love blind? Please stick to the subject matter.

On topic: Love isn't blind, but infatuation definitely is.

Legion, your lecturing is honestly hilarious. It’s almost pathetic, really. 😍
I mean, how old are you? Have you seriously never even been suspended? What on earth have you done with your life, you dark soul? 😢

Those jokes are great... as if someone who's never been a lonely loser has never truly loved, or has wasted their entire life 🤣... give me a break... living as a lonely loser is what's actually wasted, though nobody wants to admit it 😉 but that's the reality...

Your attempt—and I don't think it's just yours—to link being a lonely loser to whether or not someone has truly loved is about as logical as saying, "You've never broken a leg skiing, so you don't know what skiing is," or better yet, "You've never crashed a car, so what kind of driver are you?"

Infatuation... how long does it last? For a lonely loser, it can last for years 😉... and would you call that infatuation? 😉

Go ahead and try to justify yourselves to God and the public 😁 but you have to accept that, globally speaking, lonely losers are still a minority... sure, this topic isn't exactly popular on this forum, so it feels like they are everywhere when they really aren't 😁, and yes, being a lonely loser is abnormal. It doesn't mean someone loves or is infatuated—it just means they're obsessed. Because, as we concluded long ago, love has to be mutual, and for a lonely loser, it isn't. Forget that young Verter; he's nothing but trouble. 😬

Rebecca Scott3 said:Everyone’s got different experiences... different needs... different ways of looking at or understanding the world...
...no big deal... your opinion is yours...
...you don't have to read them... it's fine... I'm not some novelist living off a fan base...
....we're just swapping ideas here
.... 🙂
😉

I’m honestly telling you this with the best intentions, but you really should consider changing your writing style. I'm not the only one who skips over your posts because of it. That constant breaking up of... sentences is exhausting and hard to follow—especially in an online forum setting where people aren't usually looking for deep dives or trying to focus intensely. Plus, there are plenty of others who write "normally" (if you'll excuse my use of that word, haha), so your posts just get passed over.
I COULD ALSO WRITE LIKE THIS BECAUSE I THINK THESE LETTERS ARE COOL... but I don't, because on the internet, all caps feels like shouting.
Likewise, I won't write in this tiny font either because it's too hard to read.

If you want to have a meaningful conversation, write properly😁, but if that doesn't matter to you, then keep writing the way you do.👋

Jamie Reyes73 said:Dammit, I'm a man (though clearly, all you think about is sex 🤣).

Dig up those old posts of yours for me to read, because I can't believe
that you shed tears back then and are now peddling this story. 😁
Of course it's bullshit... I feel much better and more stable with someone
whom I am not in love with...
Naturally, I've been in love—more than once, in fact—otherwise, I wouldn't be bothering with this topic at all.
It sucks for me, and you really ought to realize it's a mess based on your own opening post.
It has never led to a positive outcome for me...
A colleague of mine (26) committed suicide because of love. 😢

Fine, give me a single positive example of *love...

Pride is also a useless feeling... One needs to be realistic , and when you're full of pride, that becomes impossible. 😬

*Love—by which I mean that chemical rush, that state of being infatuated. 😍

What am I supposed to do when you have such a trashy 🤣 avatar and I haven't even seen your actual username 😬
If you want me to find them, fine... but I don't have anything better to do. There's a search function if you're actually interested in looking.

You feel much better and more stable with someone you aren't in love with 😕
I don't follow. It's unlikely that I'm being stupid 😁, so please explain how that works for you... personally, I feel my best when I am actually in love with someone.
Is love a mess? No, even considering some of my great loves had unhappy 🙂 endings, I wouldn't say they were bad. They were beautiful while they lasted... now they are just the past.
And it seems to me you are confusing the concepts of "love" and "infatuation"...

Drew Morgan said:My dear brother, I don't "crash" your threads; my entire world is built on psychology, and these idiots are fascinating—anyone would want to study them.

Propaganda and brainwashing work fine until reality hits—until a real sickness sets in.

After that, talking is useless. Anorexia has one of the highest mortality rates of any mental illness (higher than depression, in my view). Unfortunately, you can't cure it by saying, "Look how ugly and skinny you are, nobody wants you."

Apply that same logic to whatever you want.

You can't fix an idiot suffering from temporary insanity by asking, "Where is your common sense?" Because at the moment of illness, the common sense is gone; it's a symptom.

Just look at the ongoing circus in the US. The mob thinks they're treating a patient, but I'd say they're just entertaining themselves. They've turned this man into a spectacle, engaging in sessions of insults and intoxication—and hey, he’s happy. Pure idiocy, isn't it?

Alright, let me repeat the question... why hasn't anyone in this thread protested against a similar campaign involving billboards or massive posters? It’s the exact same point... being emaciated isn't beautiful or desirable. 🤷
If I had come up with this scheme myself, I'd be accused of "sneaking it through," wouldn't I? 🤷

Regarding this current madness... you say there's no cure. Fine... but for some, this "temporary" insanity lasts for years... sometimes even thirteen years. 😲 I wouldn't call that "temporary."
And you know what actually helps? Prevention. 😁 (For those who still have a bit of sense left.) For some, it might even serve as a wake-up call. And I don't mean my posting on this thread, but the subject itself... though, of course, it doesn't hurt to provide a framework for people to discuss what they observe.
As they say: fools learn from their own mistakes, while the wise... the wise read the forums. 🤣 😂
Say whatever you want, but I still maintain that a large portion of these fanatics simply aren't themselves. There must be underlying roots or causes. A "normal" person (I don't mean they are clinically insane, just that they aren't all quite right 😁), no matter how much they love someone, won't allow these things to happen. Ultimately, they won't fall for someone who treats them like a doormat—which is exactly what these fanatics do.

Rebecca Scott3... you're exaggerating a bit... honestly... 😁
I didn't even finish reading your post, because seeing that much text at once just kills my motivation to read.

velvetrider said:I mean, love is about trust—it isn't blind. It’s more about how much you’re actually willing to risk by letting someone in, I guess. And common sense is definitely in the mix; it’s kind of what keeps you from totally breaking down.
Love needs two people, right? You can't have a monologue, whether you're talking or just thinking.
..time.. sometimes all it takes is just one moment, nothing more.
And pride... good grief, you should be proud of things that matter, but maybe not when it comes to love.

I agree with everything except that last part. Those ego-driven types (check the thread if you aren't caught up) are exactly what's missing the mark. As they say, "I couldn't care less about anyone else's problems." 😁

Drew Morgan said:I find you far more interesting than those hacks, who all agreed this was nothing more than a temporary bout of madness.

The truth is, you’re constantly, without fail, outraged by things you don't grasp, while insisting on your own magical, perfectly logical stance on everything under the sun.

By your logic, an anorexic could easily bulk up just by being told that guys don't like that look because skinny isn't sexy (it's like telling a driver to stop idling if they want to save gas—common sense exists). 😍

Give it a rest! 😂

And you're just as stubborn, always popping up in my threads to pick a fight... if that's what makes you happy, go ahead. 👍

That’s why I started this discussion in psychology; I figured we'd get a much more interesting debate here than on that other forum where everyone just cries together and offers endless, hollow pats on the back and empty platitudes. 😁 In the USA

As for the anorexia issue... when all those public figures on JUMBO plakat, on TV, or on the radio scream about how being underweight isn't healthy or attractive—and then they show images of people with anorexia that are supposed to illustrate how disastrous it is 😁—there isn't a single "critic" of that approach to be found. But the moment I say the exact same thing, suddenly everyone starts attacking me. 😕

Jamie Reyes73 said:Quote : Legion

Legion As follows: Reading through that infamous thread over on Reddit—you know the one—one question just kept hitting me. Is love actually blind? It probably is deaf and stupid, too...

Since you aren't exactly operating with a fully sound mind—or even much reasoning, for that matter—I’ll just say this: love isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Even when it’s mutual—well, damn—it’s just nature, and there's really nothing we can do to control it.
Deciding whether or not to let yourself fall in love—it's a choice, really. A bit of a gamble, if you ask me.
Quote : Legion

People aren't stupid. 😁
Quote : Legion

So that’s your "moral" standard—the line you refuse to cross...
We aren't all cut from the same cloth—for instance, I find pride to be just as much of a useless distraction as...
And love... when you're falling, that chemical rush takes over—you aren't quite yourself anymore. Tell me—have you ever actually been there?
Is he in love?

Quote : Legion

Legion As follows: Do people actually believe love conquers all? It doesn't—and even that idealized version of love we see in movies is almost always a one-way street. People end up suffering, making fools of themselves... tossing away friends and family, or tanking their finances and lives, all for someone who clearly doesn't give a damn about them.

Love is just an evolutionary drive inside us... you can't argue with the biology.
It’s what pushes you to find a partner and reproduce—damn it. 😍

People aren't necessarily foolish... but let's be honest, many simply lack common sense. 😁
I agree that it's difficult, if not impossible, to control whether we fall in love or not... but it’s quite obvious that some people simply have a little more luck than others. 🤔 It’s strange how people fall for all sorts of characters—types that probably nobody else, not even their own mother, could ever truly love. 😬 It seems I am the only one who feels this way...

Listen, you’re asking if I’ve ever been in love? If you had read my posts on Reddit four or five years ago, you would have seen just how many tears I shed. 😁 So you go out with two different women and then have the nerve to call love unnecessary bullshit?😕
Have you ever truly been in love?
Pride can be a very healthy thing. 😁He should be, if anything, a shield against total gutter behavior... Something like, "I couldn't care less what anyone thinks." 😁 👍

cosmictinker21 said:Not really... it's more that their value systems and core needs were shaped by different circumstances. If someone spends their formative years—back when they're still figuring out intimacy and what a partnership actually looks like—buried in romance novels instead of actually observing how real relationships function, they tend to get stuck in that romanticized bubble. Often, those "foundations" aren't even theirs; they're just patterns picked up from people nearby, magazines, or poetry where every second verse is about some grand, sweeping passion. When you're young, you don't always see past the romance to the deeper stuff. I mean, Romeo and Juliet isn't just a story about unrequited longing; it dives into much heavier social and emotional complexities. You don't really start grasping those nuances until much later, once you've lived through things beyond just a broken heart. It's especially true if there's very little talk about Love within the family, or any outward signs of affection and intimacy... if those things aren't modeled at home, a young person is left to scavenge for whatever information happens to be most accessible.

I am certainly no expert on romance novels, 😁 but the people in them are always so wonderful and perfect, aren't they? 😕
Then someone reads a romance novel where Pero Vesna 😁 carries her like a precious gift... and then that reader finds herself with some guy 😁 who does absolutely everything opposite to what she read about or dreamed of. And the best part? She ends up furious with him, as if he's failed her in every conceivable way. 🤷

quietpilot87 said:Good 4 U. I wasn't born with a PhD in consciousness, and I'm not ashamed of it. Yeah, idiots have played me before—I'm claiming my right to be stupid. I think everyone gets a certain number of credits for that. 🙏

It's not about being right all the time; it's about eating a pile of crap so you know better than to do it again next time.

To me, there's nothing funny about eating garbage, regardless of the size, especially when it's as big as an elephant's 😁

It seems some people are just more blind to reality than others 🙂

If they truly feel zero connection to anyone "normal," then they are simply being irrational 🤷

Whether I’ve lived my whole life acting with complete logic is a difficult question. Perhaps I just possess a subconscious filter 😁 that instinctively weeds out people who might cause me harm, though that isn't always a certainty.
You can dive headfirst into a relationship "without thinking," but eventually, your reason should kick in to provide clarity and perspective.
For instance, my intuition told me to walk away from that married woman... and I have never once regretted that decision.

The idea of "losing one's mind" is also highly debatable. I understand those who lose their heads over someone genuinely kind and high-quality... but those who lose themselves over toxic jerks 😁, parasites, or manipulators 😬 are beyond my comprehension; I cannot understand or justify their actions in any way.
If you’ve been following this thread, you've seen—though there are always two sides to every story—that the people these individuals were obsessing over weren't exactly prizes or social favorites. Often, everyone around them 😁 was explicitly telling them to stay away from certain people... yet it didn't help.
To me, that is what it means to lose your head over a jerk, and it can never be justified.

Searching for Love... honestly, how does anyone actually fall for an obvious jerk? 🤷
Again, I am speaking from my own experience. I’ve had relationships that were "just casual"—I never fell in love.
I’ve also been with people who were clearly unstable, and I never fell for them either.
I’ve dealt with people who tried to manipulate me, and I walked away from them very quickly.
But the women I actually loved never made fools of me.

Regarding that last point, call me cold and calculating if you must 😁, but you should never lose sight of yourself for anyone else... especially not for someone you might be wonderful with today, only to pass them on a street in a year and look the other way. 👎

They often end up stuck in that cycle themselves... though sometimes that cycle lasts for years. Maybe they’re just masochists at this point, because instead of finding intimacy in bed, 😁 they spend all their energy fighting through every other broken part of the relationship 🤷
The fear of being alone... sure, it's a factor, but it can't be the *only* reason. When I look at the absolute losers out there in the world, I’d honestly rather stay single forever than be in a relationship with someone who constantly tramples over my dignity and messes with my head.
And then you have that classic "savior complex" syndrome... it’s such a predictable pattern. You find some guy who’s essentially a deadbeat, maybe even one of those struggling "starving artists" 🤣, who also happens to be obsessively jealous and a general nightmare, and she thinks she can somehow guide him onto the right path. She tries to fix him... only to realize in the end that she’s actually the one who needs help.

Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.

Kenneth Brooks9 said:It hasn't been constant for three years. He went hard once three years ago, and everything else since then has just been "recreational." Basically, every six months he'll go on a 3 or 4-day bender and then stop. That’s why this whole thing is so frustrating—it's not like the classic addict who's been hitting it for ten years straight and is totally gone...

Correct me if I'm wrong... he got addicted, went through detox, and since then he's just using "recreationally" without being an addict anymore 🤔... I've honestly never heard of anyone managing that kind of pattern before.