Daniel Wilson5 said:As far as I'm concerned, it won't end in a fight because that wasn't even the point of this discussion. And if you want my honest opinion, you're being a pretty hardcore homophobe because you clearly couldn't care less—and that's actually the worst part!
😂 so I'm a massive homophobe 😵 while you're just narrow-minded and stuck in your own little world 😛
Like I said, I hope everyone is "homophobic" like me... what am I supposed to do in the end? Applaud? March in a Pride parade? Fight for "your" rights... I rarely give anyone a round of applause 😬. I've happened to run into a Pride parade a couple of times when I was out downtown on a Saturday morning 😁, and while I didn't applaud, I wasn't shouting insults either... you should fight for your own rights yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, if you get marriage equality and everything that comes with it... if there were ever a national referendum on it, I'd be the first to vote YES, but I have no intention of actively participating in any of it. 🤣 That's the biggest issue—many people in the LGBTQ+ community view anyone who doesn't actively join their struggle for rights as homophobic... well, I couldn't care less 😁. It's no different than my interest in protecting the Atlantic swordfish; at least the conservationists won't label me a "swordfish-phobe." 🤣
I’m not saying homophobia doesn't exist, but I've noticed that in many of these debates, the LGBTQ+ community tends to label anyone who disagrees with them on any topic as a homophobe. It feels like... for some people, basically everyone who doesn't participate in Gay Pride is considered a homophobe 🙄... I’d draw a parallel to how people treat Jews... if you say one single thing "against" Jews—regardless of what it's actually about, as long as there's even a vague connection—you're immediately labeled an antisemite.
Similarly, the moment you express that you just don't care about these issues, you're instantly branded a homophobe... honestly, we might all be a lot happier if everyone were those kinds of "homophobes."
No, I’m not a homophobe. I’m just part of that quiet majority that, as I mentioned before, is honestly just checked out from all this... I won't say a single word against it because I truly believe that love is love 😁 but damn, these constant identity politics are starting to get on my nerves. It’s like people act as if this is the most important issue in the entire world, along with everything else tied to it. I wonder what the point of 🤷 is, though it seems obvious this topic will just devolve into an endless argument... 🙄
I honestly don't understand why there isn't a single subforum on this site that isn't dominated by fifteen different threads about sexual orientation. Is it really that vital to everyone to discuss who is sleeping with whom? 🤷 I honestly think people just need to go educate themselves. I believe the number of homophobes is likely equal to the number of homosexuals. The "silent majority" simply doesn't care enough to weigh in; they remain quiet because they aren't truly invested in what anyone else is doing. 🙂 Honestly, if you keep pushing these same topics, you're going to start getting on everyone's nerves. You're becoming a bit tedious.
mistyraven said:I'm spiraling over my partner's past.
Look, I get it—the present is what matters, and exes are exes for a reason. But still...
Yesterday, during a conversation, I found out something I really shouldn't have. I know, I know—it’s ancient history, and we’ve been together for three years now. But somehow, this jealousy just flared up out of nowhere. Picturing the person I love doing... certain things with someone else? Yeah, not exactly a great feeling.
We were just talking about our past relationships versus how things are now. Then they dropped something on me that totally floored me. I didn't even want the details, but there it was...
I basically just stood up, grabbed my stuff, and walked out. No words. I know it wasn't the right move, but I don't know why I'm struggling so much to accept that there was a whole life before me.
Now I'm a mess. I can't even bring myself to be physical with them—it's like their past makes me feel physically repulsed.
Is this just being possessive? Or am I looking at some kind of pathological jealousy?
To be brutally honest... you're being weak. We can argue about it all day, but that's just the reality. You lack self-confidence, and at least subconsciously, you're comparing yourself to them—or you're worried your partner is comparing you to their exes, and it's getting to you. Look, what happened, happened, and that's healthy. If you can't stomach that, then I don't know what to tell you. Unless they were out there living a wild lifestyle🙂... if not, why does it matter? Even if they were, if they are a good person😁 and they love you and aren't doing those things anymore... where is the actual problem? 🤷
I don't have any need for hate, nor do I harbor any animosity toward anyone. Some people I like, some I feel nothing for, and while there are those I don't particularly care for, I never go beyond that. Hatred has a tendency to erode and destroy the very person who holds it. Hate—especially when it's irrational—is purely political, superficial, foolish, and frankly, infantile.
Regarding Simona Gotovac... why would I hate her? I just don't feel that way about her. 😬 Or hating people from Chicago just because I'm a New Yorker 😵... that's just silly and shallow.
Scott Lee13 said:That’s exactly where I went wrong—I was too focused on the surface level and that whole polished, arrogant front. I’m at an age where this really shouldn't even be on my radar—not that it changes anything. It’s especially about showing some backbone.
Honestly, I’ve always felt that wanting to be with an attractive woman is perfectly natural 🙂 and there isn't anything wrong with that. Back home, we had our options, but here in the States, there are truly beautiful women everywhere... and if you put in a little effort, you can find someone who matches your values just as much as their looks... I don't see anything wrong with your pursuit, nor do I see any sign of low self-esteem. Why would you be 🤷 ? You appreciate beauty, so why make such a big deal out of it? 👍
The issue only arises if you're strictly focused on the surface level. If looks or a certain persona are your only priorities...
ambermaker12 said:I’ve already tried telling her—it's useless, she just won't listen. She constantly gets on my case, acting as if I'm somehow the one behaving like an emotional vampire.
In that case, maybe you should just start acting like him. 🤷
Exactly... you have to stand up for yourself. Start asking why your precious 😵 brother doesn't have to lift a finger while you're out there grinding all day. Why does he get a free pass while you're held to such high standards? Why is he walking away with more cash than you despite doing absolutely nothing useful... Ultimately, what would happen if you just told her you'd split the chores equally with him? Like, if the vacuuming happens twice a week, you'll do it once and he'll do it the other time. Look, you need to advocate for yourself, because if you don't, nobody else is going to do it for you...
I don't think you can simply draw direct parallels between domestic violence and those typical extramarital affairs, especially when the people involved aren't even living under the same roof. Sure, there might be some minor overlaps, but the fundamental differences between the two are massive.
Alright, we’re drifting off-topic again, but I have one final thought regarding Pelín... the man simply lacks any real literary talent. Honestly, plenty of bottom-feeders write more engagingly than he does. On top of that, he actually admitted to making about half of it up, and even if his posts weren't so unbelievable that nobody would take them seriously in the first place—well, if what he writes actually *is* true, then compared to him, a major fraud is just a complete amateur. The conclusion is simple: either Pelín is lying, or he’s "embellishing" the story just to play the role of the main villain... and even if he is telling the truth (which I doubt, but let's assume), he is incredibly delusional. Plus, he's got such a thin skin that the moment he reads anything critical, he feels the need to write an 874-sentence manifesto trying to explain, clarify, and argue with everyone.
Whether she replied to you or not, I have nothing more to say on the matter.
I'm right there with you on this. I get what you're saying, I really do, but I'm just stuck on the "how." How do you actually build that? That rock-solid sense of inner security? Honestly, I feel like even talking to a therapist in Manhattan wouldn't touch that kind of deep-seated stuff. It feels like the only way left is to find that one person who’s actually going to stick by my side through everything...
Honestly, most people never even find that... maybe you'd be better off dropping the word "always" from that sentence. It might actually make life a little easier for you.😉
"Why even bother putting all this forward? Why not just walk away after a few humiliations? I figured if things worked out and she actually loved me, I’d get my life and my self-respect back—my sense of self. Or at least, I wouldn't feel like everything I sacrificed was for nothing. That's why I stayed. You invest so much of yourself that you can't bear to admit it's time to cut your losses and run like hell. It's like waiting thirty minutes for a bus in Chicago and thinking it's too stupid to start walking because surely it'll show up any second... except in this case, the bus might eventually arrive, but the lowlifes running the show aren't ever going to change."
You see, that isn't the core issue... that's just an afterthought for someone who has already lost their dignity... someone who's already become a complete loser. 😬 What I'm interested in is the fundamental reason why someone allows themselves to be stepped on in the first place, rather than why they stay once they've already been crushed.
Nobody wants to be stepped on by someone worth five bucks. You can mess with your own ego a little bit if you're that sensitive (like that Musk guy, right?), but you actually come out better for it. Your ego ends up being better. 😉
Why do you assume someone won't crush you over five dollars? That person might be a five in every other way, but they could still be a total master of disrespect. 😬
Drew Morgan said:Theoretically, yes. Except for you—I've already accounted for you; you don't have any weak spots.
Anyone can be rendered vulnerable, harassed, or humiliated, and they won't recover instantly. But to truly become a shell of a person, you have to actively participate in your own destruction. You need that "X factor"—let's call it a temporary lapse in sanity.
There you go again... please realize that victims aren't the majority 😬... most people have never been victims and never will be... your influence theory just doesn't hold up. You seem to have this sick 😬 urge to pick on me 🤣 and sarcastically imply that I wouldn't know how to handle things... of course I have weaknesses, everyone does... but I know how to use my head—at least sometimes, haha—and refuse to turn a blind eye to reality.
Drew Morgan said:In the States, they fall into two distinct camps: 1. Those who are completely bulletproof against insults or humiliation. 2. Those who fold instantly at flashy lies, grandstanding, and crumbs of attention.
But those aren't the actual reasons... they aren't the roots. They are just surface-level symptoms built on top of the fundamental issues that turned them into such scumbags. If you're trying to figure out why a building collapsed, you don't look at the second or third floor; you look at the foundation. To me, that grouping feels exactly like looking at the upper floors. Where is the ground level? Where is the basement? Where are the actual foundations?...
Gerald Ward61 said:Look, Vince, here's the reality check: as people get older, they actually start to grasp what life is all about, and they become way more intentional about who they date. Just because some supermodel has three Ivy League degrees doesn't mean she's a catch. Honestly, someone with those exact specs could just be a massive pain in the ass. For people who have actually built something for themselves, what really matters is finding an equal... plain and simple.
That’s perfectly clear... though it seems some people are just wandering aimlessly through the woods... We are discussing the causes and effects of infidelity here, not relationship equality... mentioning infidelity and equality in the same breath is like trying to pair Hitler with humanism. 😵 So, I assume a sexy model with three degrees is somehow a better bet than a toxic individual who hasn't even finished middle school... I'm exaggerating, but you get my point. I don't understand what we are debating, and I'm surprised by how much you all seem to react to 😁 my assertion that it is always better—and arguably more normal—to be crushed by someone worth 5 than someone worth -2...
Drew Morgan said:Based on what I've seen, I've come to this conclusion: everyone—except you, of course 😍—has a weakness. Think of Achilles' heel. It's like a specific socket that requires a very specific plug. That’s how it works. Not every victim will fall for it; only the one who hits that exact frequency, the one who has the right plug for that specific socket.
Are you suggesting that anyone in this world could be turned into a puppet, provided someone finds the right way to pull their strings? 🙂