Posts by electrictiger70

Jesse Cruz3 said:I’ve been hit by this sudden dread about what my life is actually going to look like.
I don't know, lately I was all about "going out, partying, wasting time," while everything else just sat on the back burner... then some things happened and certain people came along who actually forced me to think—to want independence, to travel... but all of that feels lightyears away until I find a job or finish my degree... and there's still so much time left. I think those desires were always there, but maybe it finally clicked that I'm not getting younger, quite the opposite. If I don't take action now, will I just wake up one day realizing I haven't gone anywhere, accomplished nothing, and my life is a total wash?
The biggest trigger for this crisis was probably this guy who moved away to chase a better life... he reminded me that he's actually out there (in the places I've always wanted to be), while I'm still here... just the thought of being stuck here for the rest of my life is revolting.
And yeah, I am studying what I love... I'm lucky enough to have that much... 🙂 though it can get brutal at my university, which definitely drains my spirit and motivation sometimes. 😁

I've noticed that as the days go by, when I finally break down and cry, it lasts a little less time than the day before. 🙂 That's a small mercy. 🙂

Thanks for even bothering to read this nonsense and comment on it. 🙂

Yeah, that is exactly what happened to me too. You described it perfectly. 😘
It’s like this deep-seated dissatisfaction that stayed buried under the surface for years, and then suddenly it erupts. It creates its own set of problems—in my case, specifically, it's been causing insomnia. And there isn't exactly a quick fix for something like that.

Have you considered sitting down with a professional? It might actually make a difference.

To me, it feels like you’re trying to avoid being alone with your own thoughts. When you finally stop running and sit with yourself, everything you've been pushing down tends to bubble to the surface. And clearly, there's something worth addressing if you're feeling the need to suppress it. Talking it out would help. It doesn't necessarily have to be a specialist, though perhaps someone more experienced than just a friend might be better...

Ryan Robinson10 said:I find this absolutely fascinating. Could someone, please, walk me through the psychological roots of such a compulsion? What exactly goes on in your mind—what specific internal drive compels you to perform that exact action just to feel functional? Most people have little quirks or subconscious habits they fall into, but it rarely escalates into something quite this profound... I'm not entirely sure. Does anyone actually have an explanation for why that need becomes so overwhelming?

Perhaps there is a connection to a desire for control over one's environment—that subconscious feeling that the world is unpredictable or unsafe. It might provide a greater sense of agency. My guess, anyway.

electrictiger70 said:Given that you probably can't change her at this stage of life—not to mention adding menopause into the mix, which basically doubles the difficulty—I think your best bet is to just accept this behavior as her "baseline." Don't act surprised when it happens again. You have to adapt to the reality of who she is, and then figure out how to create some distance if her attitude is genuinely wearing you down.

Honestly, it isn't even that unusual. She’s your typical perfectionist; everything has to be done exactly her way, and she won't let anyone else touch anything because she believes she's the only one capable of doing it right. Then you have the victim archetype. She’ll spend three days doing all the laundry without being asked, only to end up frustrated and take it out on you, and if you dare say anything, you're suddenly the ungrateful one. It's textbook perfectionism. In layman's terms? She's a control freak.😁 And people like that are impossible to fix.

Maybe try getting her a dog. Something to shift her focus away from you for a while.🤣

And give her some work to do, obviously. 😁

Given that you probably can't change her at this stage of life—not to mention adding menopause into the mix, which basically doubles the difficulty—I think your best bet is to just accept this behavior as her "baseline." Don't act surprised when it happens again. You have to adapt to the reality of who she is, and then figure out how to create some distance if her attitude is genuinely wearing you down.

Honestly, it isn't even that unusual. She’s your typical perfectionist; everything has to be done exactly her way, and she won't let anyone else touch anything because she believes she's the only one capable of doing it right. Then you have the victim archetype. She’ll spend three days doing all the laundry without being asked, only to end up frustrated and take it out on you, and if you dare say anything, you're suddenly the ungrateful one. It's textbook perfectionism. In layman's terms? She's a control freak.😁 And people like that are impossible to fix.

Maybe try getting her a dog. Something to shift her focus away from you for a while.🤣

Sandra Evans41 said:👍
Truth. Men are far more reliable friends than women. Look for a brother, not a girlfriend...
I’ve had plenty of "best friends" too, but they all ended in betrayal (or maybe I was the one doing the betraying, I'm no saint)... Either way, don't blame yourself. Women are just built that way. Damned if they aren't. 🙂🙂

Please, don't go looking for a male best friend. You are essentially walking into a minefield. You might walk in thinking you just want a platonic friendship, but he’s going to be looking for something entirely different. And once that happens, what exactly are you going to do about it? 😉 Maybe the issue isn't actually you. It might just be that you’ve consistently run into the wrong type of people. If I were you, I'd take a step back and really analyze the traits of those individuals you've encountered. There is likely a common thread running through them—a specific pattern in their character—that explains why these relationships kept falling apart.

I’ve had plenty of best friends in my time, too, but in the end, they always ended up letting me down—or maybe I was the one letting them down, since I’m certainly no saint. Either way, you shouldn't blame yourself, honey. Women are just built that way... honestly, it can be a curse. 🙂🙂

I’m inclined to agree that men tend to make better friends. Honestly, my take is that this stems from how women are socialized from such a young age. There is this pervasive pressure on girls to view one another as competition rather than allies. From an early age, they are often conditioned toward a certain level of narcissism, which breeds jealousy. If a female friend starts to "outshine" another in some capacity, it creates friction. I have observed that female friendships frequently fracture over a guy, whereas male friendships rarely crumble because of a woman. Men generally prioritize their brotherhood; they are willing to step aside and let a friend have the girl. Women, on the other hand, tend to get into much more intense conflicts over these things. I could probably dive into some deep psychoanalysis to explain why this happens, but I think I'll leave it at that.🥳 I am still here. 😁