Posts by darkcanyon10

feralranger said:

Azzura As stated by:
It is, of course, entirely your prerogative to characterize such blatant imputation and projection as a "meaningful contribution."

But I haven't actually imputed anything. That is an objective fact. Your elaborate little logical constructions simply do not constitute proof that I have committed any such "imputation."

"Quote"

Azzura As expressed by: To suggest that locking a child away or punishing them by withholding weekend outings is somehow comparable to actual imprisonment is a stretch, regardless of how many superficial similarities one might attempt to draw between the two. I shall refrain from repeating myself:

I am truly at a loss as to what part of this remains unclear, such that I find myself compelled to reiterate the point once more. Both incarceration and house arrest share an identical physical component—the outright deprivation of one's freedom of movement—as well as a shared psychological dimension: that pervasive, lingering sense of misery that inevitably follows such a restriction.

Azzura As stated by:
Until this very moment, I wasn't even aware that anyone was actually looking for a "third" option in this discussion.

It is quite beside the point. House arrest is essentially a dual-layered punishment, acting as both a physical and psychological sentence. It isn't merely a restriction on one's movement, nor is it strictly a mental burden; since there is no third category to speak of, one is forced to conclude it is a seamless combination of the two.

darkcanyon10 As stated by:
I currently serve as a counselor at one of our local American juvenile detention centers.
It has finally reached that unfortunate breaking point where we are seeing young people actually laying hands on their educators. It is truly a regrettable state of affairs.
It is my firm belief that nonviolence frequently serves as nothing more than the fertile soil in which violence takes root.
When a sixteen-year-old kid decides to charge at me with a clenched fist, I find that my vocabulary—no matter how carefully curated—tends to lose its efficacy quite rapidly.
I have officially enrolled in a self-defense course. 👏

It is simply the logical conclusion. The sheer absurdity of these extremes is becoming quite exhausting, isn't it? We seem to have drifted into a state where nuance has been completely abandoned in favor of these sweeping, polarized caricatures that leave absolutely no room for middle ground. It’s as if we’ve collectively decided that anything less than a total, uncompromising stance is somehow a form of intellectual cowardice. Honestly, watching the discourse unfold lately feels like a relentless exercise in futility—a bit like a modern-day Sisyphus, only instead of a boulder, we're pushing an ever-growing mountain of irrationality up a hill, only to have it roll right back over our heads. One can't help but feel a certain weary detachment when everything is framed as an all-or-nothing battle between two equally unhinged camps. It all boils down to that mindless, blind acceptance of whatever happens to be trending at any given moment—a sort of intellectual surrender where one simply swallows everything whole without the slightest hint of critical thought or scrutiny.

Christian Kelly51 said:Thanks for the advice. 🙂

Whatever I've tried saying to reach her so far, it just doesn't fucking work.

The apartment is about a 15-20 minute walk from her place.
I told her I'd come by every day, that I'd cover all her utilities, and that I'd come over once a week to clean up and vacuum, etc. I said whenever she cooks lunch, she can call me over. I even mentioned I'll make family dinners so she and my brother can come to my place (he lives on his own too). I even told her I'd come over to sleep over a few times a week.

I'm staying firm. My new place is already paid for and there's no turning back. I move in 5 days. 🙂

Austin Murphy5 said:I wonder if anyone else here can relate to the sentiment I’m about to share.

To give you some context: I enjoy my solitude just as much as I enjoy good company. While I certainly show emotion, I tend to keep the vast majority of my internal world to myself—not because I’m being secretive, but simply because I don't feel the need to, nor has it ever been particularly wise to do so. When it comes to the people I actually choose to spend my time with, they absolutely must possess a few specific traits:
1. The ability to engage in abstract conversation—you know, discussing ideas rather than just gossiping about other people or rehashing daily events.
2. They cannot be the type to mock others, especially those who are less fortunate or weaker.
3. They shouldn't be prone to talking back—even accidentally.
That is essentially my baseline for meaningful connection.
Of course, I would never be unkind to colleagues who don't meet these criteria (and frankly, they never do), but I simply have no desire to socialize with them outside of the office if they don't fit the bill.

As for whether people are generally "good-natured" or in a high spirit... well, that has never really been a deciding factor for me. If someone is having a rough day, I will likely be the one stepping in to help; conversely, if they are in a fantastic mood, I am more than happy to celebrate their happiness. Most people exist somewhere in the middle—navigating their own ups and downs—and I find that perfectly acceptable.

However, I find I have a much higher tolerance for the perpetual grump than I do for the eternal optimist.

Now, optimism is wonderful—provided it isn't "performed" with excessive, jittery energy—and I certainly don't have an issue with it when it's genuine. For instance, I tend to be the resident grouch in my household, while my husband is always in high spirits, and we function together beautifully. It’s not that I’m constantly complaining or venting, nor is he walking around shouting about how "absolutely maaaaagnificent" life is; we actually behave quite similarly, though he simply worries far less about everything than I do. And that works for us.

But I have noticed a real struggle for me when dealing with that specific crowd—those who are constantly laughing loudly and performatively, offering incessant compliments, or incessantly prattling on about how incredible their weekend was. These are the people who seem to find everyone likable and will never, ever admit that something is bothering them. I’ve observed that these types rarely actually listen when others are speaking. Instead, they might spend the conversation checking their reflection in a window or interrupting a deep thought just to give the most insincere, overly cheery wave to someone passing by the table. To them, every concert is a masterpiece, regardless of how terrible the sound system actually is.

I realize this might sound harsh, and please believe me, I don't consider myself superior—I just value sincerity. Sometimes I truly wonder how much room these people leave themselves to experience actual, raw emotion. I once lived in an American community where almost everyone behaved this way, and it seemed like half the population was seeing a therapist multiple times a week. Not to mention the prevalence of stress-related issues like ulcers or tumors. I honestly find it difficult to believe they aren't just performing, and as a result, I generally avoid being in their orbit. Perhaps I'm just out of touch, but there it is.🙂

Are there any others out there who feel the same way?

Kate Hill3 said:I don’t think anyone has ever truly screwed me over—though, honestly, who really knows what’s going on deep in the subconscious?—but when it comes down to handling something sensitive, I just can't bring myself to trust anyone else.
It’s a simple thing, really; it feels much easier to just mess things up myself than to deal with the fallout of someone else botching the job.
Given that my career path involves working closely with people, this might actually turn into a bit of a headache for me, because let’s face it, one person can't possibly get everything done alone, and the whole point of a system isn't to have one guy doing all the heavy lifting.
So, how can I help myself?

Nicholas Davis27 said:Can someone help me out? Does anyone actually have experience with Pilex tablets? I see some priced at $599 and others for $33. They’re both called Pilex, but one is from Himalaya—or whatever. I don't get it. Is there a difference or is there just a catch? Thanks.

Susan Gonzalez said:Man is a channel for Divine energy, but God is NEUTRAL. He does neither good nor evil. He simply emits His energy to everyone. Whether you choose to pray to a cross, shout into the wind, or stare at a chalkboard, it doesn't matter to Him.
So, you HAVE TO BE ACTIVE, or there is nothing to be gained from any of this, not even from God.

That praying thing is nothing more than concentration; everyone believes in whatever they want. Babbling through prayers is useless, just like the way some Popish types sell comfort and holy water. I guess there must be a will, an energy, a visualization of the goal, and action. And you have to hammer at it until you get bored.☕

mistyseal11 said:You completely missed the mark on this one.

Since I’ve noticed that about 80% of the posts here basically describe the exact same struggle, I decided it was time to actually step up and do something.
This thread shouldn't be some lecture session; it needs to be a roadmap for where we’re actually headed.

Honestly, how many actual, concrete suggestions are there across all ten pages? Maybe one or two at most (@darkcanyon10).
Everyone just keeps looping back to the same vague generalizations: "just practice," "work harder," "keep learning"...

But seriously, what am I supposed to be practicing, working on, or learning? How am I supposed to know that better than anyone else?!
If I already had the answers, I wouldn't be asking you guys... 🤦
There's absolutely no shame in asking questions.

Or maybe you guys are just too embarrassed to admit what you actually do for a living or how you spend your day-to-day life?
It's honestly pathetic how some of you have just sucked into the corporate grind and are just counting down the days until you can finally be in my shoes.
Are you really just waiting for retirement so you can finally experience what I have?

Look, I didn't get stuck in the rat race, and that’s why I’m telling you—it’s fine to stay wrapped up in that security blanket for now.
The real nightmare starts when you finally strip that blanket away and realize... what now?!

mistyseal11 said:You completely missed the mark on this one.

Since I’ve noticed that about 80% of the posts here basically describe the exact same struggle, I decided it was time to actually step up and do something.
This thread shouldn't be some lecture session; it needs to be a roadmap for where we’re actually headed.

Honestly, how many actual, concrete suggestions are there across all ten pages? Maybe one or two at most (@darkcanyon10).
Everyone just keeps looping back to the same vague generalizations: "just practice," "work harder," "keep learning"...

But seriously, what am I supposed to be practicing, working on, or learning? How am I supposed to know that better than anyone else?!
If I already had the answers, I wouldn't be asking you guys... 🤦
There's absolutely no shame in asking questions.

Or maybe you guys are just too embarrassed to admit what you actually do for a living or how you spend your day-to-day life?
It's honestly pathetic how some of you have just sucked into the corporate grind and are just counting down the days until you can finally be in my shoes.
Are you really just waiting for retirement so you can finally experience what I have?

Look, I didn't get stuck in the rat race, and that’s why I’m telling you—it’s fine to stay wrapped up in that security blanket for now.
The real nightmare starts when you finally strip that blanket away and realize... what now?!

Jack Smith5 said:Run along the riverbank in nothing but a T-shirt during the winter, or wrap yourself in a heavy parka when it’s sweltering in the summer.
6:00–7:00 AM: Hit the shower and work on some muscle relaxation at the same time—blast yourself with hot water in the winter and ice-cold water in the summer.
7:00–7:30 AM: Eat a massive breakfast. Go heavy on the fats and the homemade stuff: bacon, sausage, eggs, cheese, whole milk, plenty of grease.
7:30–8:00 AM: Coffee break.
8:00–10:00 AM: Just lounge around. Mess with the computer, watch TV, or flip through some magazines.
10:00 AM–12:00 PM: Meet up with someone on a whim.
12:00–12:30 PM: Pick up groceries for a healthy lunch—think hearty stews paired with home-cooked meat, and try to skip the bread or keep it to a minimum.
12:30–2:00 PM: Cook lunch and eat.
2:00–2:30 PM: Another coffee.
2:30–5:00 PM: Take a nap, or go back to the TV, the computer, or a book.
5:00–8:00 PM: Work on your book, play some video games, code, or whatever hobby you have that doesn't involve stressing out about life.
8:00–10:00 PM: Catch up with someone for a movie or some other activity you both actually enjoy.

Nobody can write a schedule for you.
In fact, why don't you try writing one for me? I'd love to see how you'd come up with it just so I have something to laugh at.

Paul Thompson3;56941604 said:

Look, as long as you aren't totally hooked, you can probably swing a drink every now and then when things get heavy—provided it doesn't just drag you right back into the cycle.

True... but honestly, I'm just done. Not feeling it anymore. 🙂

What are you, a doctor, a nurse, or just some winemaker? 😁 ?

I’ve gone and become a doctor and a nurse too, I guess. Leaving the winery business to the pros. 😁
Got two jobs. Which one you want? 😁
Used to work at a state psych ward back in the day. I remember rolling in hungover from the night before just to lead support groups for alcoholics looking for rehab. 🤣 🤣
Spit it out. 🙂

Life’s always gonna throw curveballs. You just gotta take it on the chin. Being a decent human being is exhausting, honestly. Once you accept that and actually get your ego under control, things get a hell of a lot easier. Some people deal with emotional baggage, some deal with physical pain, others are stuck with both. Then you've got folks grinding their lives away just to keep the family afloat. Life has this sick way of knowing exactly how to push your buttons and break you down.

Yeah. Exactly.

Paul Thompson3 said:I’ve been through enough pain and catharsis to tell you—you probably drink to numb the ache or because you feel empty inside. At least, that’s my take. I was never much of a drinker, but I started hitting the bottle because I lost my usual escape—my favorite way to check out. Sometimes it was just pure, unbearable boredom or having too much damn time on my hands.
I’d get drunk and wander the streets alone, living out some low-budget noir adventure.
Eventually, I didn't even bother leaving the house; I’d just grab a liter of wine and knock it back in an afternoon. It became my "new normal"—drinking a bottle almost every single day. I actually started getting into it, learning about different labels and finding favorites. There were nights I’d sit with a bottle and browse this forum—it was actually pretty great for a while. But then it hit me: I’d been doing this for ages, and I could feel the alcohol calling my name. It didn't matter what the drink was anymore—as long as it was booze. That’s how most chronic drinkers start, I'm sure. I hated that realization, so I quit. Now, sitting down with a bottle isn't fun anymore; it’s lost its charm and usually feels pointless. I don't have any alcoholics in my family, so I guess I got lucky in that regard.

So, let's cut to the chase, Miškica. I know it sounds cynical—if booze is all you have, then without it, you have nothing—and a better life doesn't just build itself.

I know a young couple who are heavy drinkers; we’ve never talked about it directly, but it’s obvious they come from some seriously messed up backgrounds.
And I won't even get into my impression of the woman—she’s completely unhinged. I doubt there’s any help for her right now, because every time I see her, she’s showing up with two liters of cheap beer or some bottom-shelf wine. I feel for her and wish I could help just by talking, but you can't really have a conversation with someone in that state.

Anyway, I just wanted to say: don't be afraid. Every bit of pain passes eventually. Suffering itself is meaningless unless we let it be a teacher to make us better people. That’s the core of our experience on Earth—we’re just tiny pieces of a puzzle that might be so beautiful it transcends our ability to even understand beauty.

placidwolf27 said:This whole concept of ease versus struggle is... complicated. For instance, who actually gives you the strength to force yourself to suffer while remaining at peace?

I don't know if my perspective on things is fundamentally flawed, but it doesn't seem to me that in certain states or situations, a person truly has a choice. Your biology takes over—it follows its own pattern, and that's just that. Trying to stop it is quite literally a war against yourself, and it's physically grueling. The issue isn't the suffering itself—not the endurance or the ache—the real problem is that the organism is hardwired to repeat its patterns, to seek distraction, to chase immediate gratification. You can realize this a thousand times over, but where does the actual power come from to actually govern those impulses?

This is one of those things that leaves me genuinely baffled... I just don't see how it works. It remains an enigma—where does a human being find the sheer willpower to move against their own internal gravity?

Carl Rivera43 said:Every mistake you catch and realize was actually a mistake is just a fact in disguise—it’s basically laying the groundwork for better things to come {so lifelong learning really does make sense}