Someone close to me is leaving. Dying. My absolute worst nightmares are playing out in real time. It’s hard to even describe how I feel. Everything is just... clear. I get it all now. That same person knows exactly what's happening, too. We're both just playing along. Looking at each other. But the part that's killing me isn't the death itself—it's the sheer lack of humanity from the medical staff. Zero compassion. Watching them struggle while the people supposed to be caring for them act like they have no souls. It's stripping away any shred of dignity left in the dying process. As much as death scares me... seeing this... I find myself praying for it. 😢
Andrew Price3 said:shadowheron49, let the terror consume you. Let it tear through everything. Let it shatter every single defense. Because that’s always been the point—to break through your fear. Dare to be crucified. Without mercy. Tell Him: "Just do it. Show me Your full glory. Have no mercy on this girl. And as You cut, pierce, tear, and break me, I will feel nothing but love for You." Break, lose your mind, go mad, die, and experience the absolute ecstasy of pain and suffering. Go deeper than what seems possible, and discover a new life within the wreckage of an old paradigm. There is no other way, except through That. Because that terror... is nothing less than HIM... trying to reach inside you.
I can't stand injustice. It gets under my skin. If I see something wrong, I try to fix it, I really do 😁 but half the time I just screw up—miscalculate things and end up making my own life harder trying to set things right 😁. Then it hit me... justice is a myth. 😉
We’re on the same page here.🙂 When I start spiraling into my own deep dive of life, meaning, and total pointlessness... man, it’s exhausting. Just this heavy, gross sense of futility. I don't get it. What’s even the point of any of this? You grind hard, you enjoy yourself for a bit😁 and then you die and that's it. Like—thanks for nothing, next... A million questions asked just to find a tiny shred of purpose, and it still feels like zero. It’s not even depression, honestly. It’s more like pure apathy and lethargy. The only way I deal is by force-switching my mindset. I just refuse to think about it. I try to accept it. Yeah, right—as if anyone actually asks me what I want to accept. So I finally realized it’s just how things are and fighting it is useless.😁 Now I just tell myself: fake it till you make it.🙂 Realized that the one thing I can actually control is my own head.😁
Evening... Can we go with Mystic instead of Miškica?
It doesn't really match the current handle. Mystic and Miškica aren't even close; most people wouldn't even link them to the old nickname. Maybe some other suggestion for a fix that’s at least somewhat similar to what's being used now. 🙂
Some folks are just old. Long before they actually hit that age. Others? They’ve aged in ways I can’t even wrap my head around... lol 😁 I'm surrounded by old people... Body's gone old, unfortunately... But the attitude and the personality? Still right there... always. Especially when you get up there... the body stops cooperating, but the mind stays stubborn as hell. 😁
OP's looking for validation that her relationship is toxic. So what? What's the move? You gonna actually change anything? Not even my native tongue and I still can't follow you...😕
Skimmed the old thread and this one too... So, here’s what I’m getting: you can’t stand how much that dad invades your space... and you think that kind of parent-child dynamic is just wrong. Plus, it bugs you that your guy sees things differently. Clearly, you can't let it go... it's eating at you. I even wondered if you're actually jealous of how close they are. Like you view that level of intimacy as straight-up pathological. Personally, that kind of closeness creeps me out too... I'm not really into my parents constantly hugging or petting me. I don't need it... and honestly, it would be super weird if my boyfriend's dad was always all over him like that... but whatever. What would *actually* bother me is if that "bond" meant my man had zero identity. Like, if he’s too scared to speak his mind when he disagrees with his folks. If he has no backbone. That's the real dealbreaker.
John Mendoza13 said:The real headache is that I’m stuck doing this seasonal grind just so I can afford to enroll in community college this fall and finally get my driver's license.
And man, this job is just wearing me down; some days are manageable, but others are just brutal. The biggest issue is that I have to crash at my relatives' place because the work site is so far 15 miles from where I actually live, so I'm basically stuck sleeping in some cramped, crowded house.
Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel and heading back home... but I know I can't. I've taken plenty of hits in life and managed to stay upright, but this current situation is enough to drive anyone insane. I spent an entire year unemployed, which sent me spiraling into a pretty deep depression, and now I'm sitting here wondering if this exhausting job is actually worse than being jobless.
Man... hitting goals isn't easy. Not even close. It takes grind, sweat, discipline, and sacrifice—before, during, and after everything else. motivationThe goal. When things get rough, just remember: today’s grind is what pays for tomorrow. You know why you’re doing this. 15 miles Heading to work. I used to travel a lot back in the day and... 31 miles Workplace vibes. You know what cures that feeling? Gratitude. 🙂
I don't budge on my big goals and priorities. Sure, I stumble sometimes, but I’m not quitting. Since I figure change is the only constant, I just try to act right based on whatever life throws at me at the moment. And obviously, I try to figure out what I can actually control versus what I can't. Though, let's be real, I mess that up more often than not. It usually takes me a minute to realize when I'm fighting a losing battle. But once I see that it’s just a dead end, man... I just accept it and pivot to a new goal. 🙂