Posts by redharbor9

Maybe try actually looking into some modern personality theories for once... they definitely exist... 😉

There’s actually some neuroresearch on this... when you're feeling that intense Love, activity in your prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain used for reasoning and logic—basically tanks. That's why people are literally blind to reality. 😍

I'll try to dig up the specific paper. It should be on my laptop somewhere, then I can give you the full breakdown..

I’ve got a client who’s decided to taper off her Zoloft since she doesn't need it anymore. I'm looking for some real-world intel from anyone who's actually gone through this... I've been digging around online, but honestly, it's just a mess of conflicting info.

I get that everyone reacts differently and there are a million variables involved, but I want the truth. I just want to make sure I'm fully prepared to guide her through it. 😁

ironotter65 said:Hey everyone. First time posting here, just looking for some help from good people. I feel like I'm losing my mind. There’s this constant inner restlessness that I used to manage with 3mg of Lexapro. It works, but before that hits, I get this heavy feeling in my chest—like I can't catch my breath. It feels like I can't breathe from my stomach, which panics me, sends me straight to the local clinic, and it's always the same cycle until I finally saw a psychiatrist who put me on Paxil. Now I'm taking 20mg every single day, but the scale is showing less weight, and that really worries me. I get this nausea, almost like I need to burp constantly, and when I sit down to eat, I have zero appetite. I'm forcing myself to eat just because I have to. Has anyone else dealt with this? Thanks a lot.

Ever thought about tackling that restlessness with actual therapy instead of just masking the symptoms with meds?

And what exactly makes you so miserable and pissed off when you get home?

Keith Jones76 said:One more thing—think about which thoughts or beliefs (let's call them "B") sit between X and Y. For example:
X - Fighting with my boyfriend
*
Y - Anxiety and binge eating

*B - We should always agree, and since we don't, I should have prevented this. Since I didn't, I'm a bad partner and he won't want me anymore, so I might as well just suffer.

What turns the irrational B into something rational (Quincy):
Quincy - Even if we don't agree all the time, we can still have a perfectly healthy relationship. Despite this, I am a good partner, and he will still want me if things are meant to be. So, there's no reason to just spiral into suffering (instead, I face whatever the future brings).

Whenever X occurs, lean into the Quincy (over the B), and you've laid the groundwork to change Y! Then, you get a much better behavioral pattern—staying busy with what you were already doing, starting something new, or, if you actually are hungry, adding a different kind of food to the mix.

And don't force it!!! It’s a process, not a sudden pivot! It takes time for new behaviors to stick.

By using this method—introducing the 'Quincy'—you aren't forcing Y; you're creating the right environment for it to happen naturally 👍, so to speak. You're utilizing your own cognitive potential rather than relying on training designed for animals (no joke).
That's basically my point.

Don't overcomplicate things for the poor girl... she doesn't even need those beliefs. Honestly, she'll have an easier time hitting her target without all that heavy analysis. Once she actually nails it, then she can worry about working on that middle ground.

Or put simply: stop overanalyzing the situation.😍

Yeah, that’s a solid tactic. You could even pull that off in certain types of psychotherapy. Keeping a food journal might work, though you gotta be careful it doesn't spiral into an eating disorder 😍. It wouldn't hurt to set up a chart—one column for what you ate, and another for the situation, feelings, or thoughts that triggered it...

Once you actually catch those patterns and realize why you're eating, you can start swapping them out for something else. Like, once you spot the pattern where "if X happens, I eat Y," then next time you hit X, you shut down Y before it starts by doing something else instead—like going for a walk, grabbing an apple, or jumping on a video game...

I asked what you meant by that comment since it made zero sense. Clearly, it’s just some defensive mechanism because you don't own a monopoly on good advice and haven't managed to turn your little concept into the only game in town. So, if you actually want to keep arguing about food outside the scope of this thread, hit my PMs. 🙂

Anyway, I'm getting back to the main topic. I'll wait for the author to actually weigh in and tell us what she thinks about the ideas laid out so far. 🙂

Keith Jones76 said:Why bother explaining something that’s already obvious just to keep a thread moving? I don't have that much free time on my hands. ☕

It’s not about keeping the debate alive, it's about making sure I actually get it. Or do you think you can just read my mind? :P Because no matter how much I look at it, your comment makes zero sense...

So you got hit with a ton of ideas and suggestions... how much of that stuff actually works for you?

Maybe it looks like undernourishment... but honestly, it’s probably just how her metabolism works. My sister is thin as a rail too, even though she’s constantly snacking on junk and greasy food. Sometimes you shouldn't take those indices so damn seriously.

vigilanty said:🙄

So? 🙄

Keith Jones76 said:"Building discipline"—now that's a phrase worth noting. Building things up is the exact opposite of trying to force a sudden, violent turnaround.

Translation?

Keith Jones76 said:Look, I’m just saying it isn't my top pick. Especially since, based on her first post, she’s clearly struggling with discipline and is already dealing with some serious burnout—those "vicious cycles" are starting to set in, which is something I definitely factored in. Besides, if it absolutely has to be the last resort, it can always stay that way...

It's too early to say she has discipline issues. How is she supposed to fix them if she isn't actually building any discipline? Unless she's planning on being hypnotized, there's no magic way to get instant self-control. She can start working on it by changing her diet like I suggested. If she actually wants to lose weight, she'll have the motivation. And if she's motivated, she can finally break out of those cycles by fixing what she eats...

Keith Jones76 said:Quincy:

I agree, but I think it works both ways. If you force the behavior first, those beliefs eventually shift once you realize how much better you feel—or in her case, when she sees the weight dropping.

It’s not quite that simple, though. You could easily get the exact opposite reaction. Or worse, someone could have a traumatic experience with a diet and end up with an entirely new set of problems.
Personally, I prefer it when people actually use their intellect and capacity for abstract thought as an advantage. I'm not a fan of methods that work just as effectively on animals. Humans are animals, sure, but we have enough specific complexities to make that distinction matter.

"It's not that simple because it could be different"? 😍 That doesn't mean I have to flip my entire lifestyle overnight like I did in my black-and-white world... which isn't even recommended anyway...

I did it because I've got the mental toughness to grind through that hell, but making slow changes at a behavioral level is what actually builds lasting habits.

Quincy:

I prefer when people actually use their brains and abstract reasoning as an advantage. I'm not a fan of methods that work just as well on animals. Humans are animals, sure, but we've got specific complexities, and that's how I see it.

Sometimes the end justifies the means. 🙂 It's like primal therapy... there are situations where it's the only thing that works, and you just deal with it. 😍

Keith Jones76 said:Well, that's somewhat true, but it's more effective to shift your mindset first before jumping into behavioral tactics. That was my thought process.

Why would that matter? I mentioned it because of the raisins I'm constantly snacking on. Every time people see me eating them, their reactions always seem to stem from a fear of gaining weight since they're so calorie-dense...

I love them too—dried fruit and nuts in general. As I've mentioned before, I'm quite twiggy, with a BMI around 17...
I don't think it's solely due to that, certainly not, but it's true that they're high-quality, easy, and affordable foods. It's just one piece of the puzzle.

I'm with you, but I think it works both ways. If you force the behavior first, the beliefs start shifting once you realize how good you feel—or in her case, when she sees the weight dropping.

It's definitely not just about that, obviously, but it's true that the food is actually solid quality, simple, and won't break the bank.

Facts. I always keep a bowl in my room... even had one client get hooked on it. Every time she came over, she'd grab some, and eventually, it just became a habit. 😍

Keith Jones76 said:Though I suspect your struggle was a different beast entirely from hers, assuming you even had one to begin with.

That works a little differently... but fine. It's not worth getting into... I don't have the energy.

I eat that stuff all day long. My BMI is 19. People freak out because it's high in calories, but they completely ignore other nutritional aspects. Calories are the only thing people focus on, which is a fundamentally flawed approach.

That's accurate.
But why mention having a BMI of 19? (That's pretty low, so I'm curious).

I think the most crucial part is the misconception regarding how we manage our own emotions.

Look, my issue was a massive sugar addiction and how it basically wrecked my life. When I was dedicating an entire desk drawer just to candy, it was manageable. But once I hit a breaking point and bit into a Hershey's bar wrapper and all together because I couldn't wait long enough to open it—that's when I realized I needed to change.😍

The whole reason I brought myself up is to show you can kick a sugar habit. She probably has the same struggle... you just have to grind through those first few days. Same goes for any other junk food.

That works a little differently... But whatever. Not worth the debate...

Yeah, I phrased that poorly... but the point was the difference between refined and natural sugar.

Spot on.
Only thing is, why does having a BMI of 19 matter? (That's pretty low, so I'm asking.)

Why would it matter? I only mentioned it because of the raisins I'm constantly snacking on. Every time people see me eating them, they look terrified I'll gain weight since they're so high in calories...

Betty Harris15 said:I'm not sure about therapy yet. I should probably dig through some actual books first before rushing straight to a psychiatrist.
It just sucks feeling like I'm throwing money down the drain on this nonsense. It's an impulse I can't control. My life is a total mess right now.

What's your vision for this "studying" thing? How exactly do you see that playing out—best case scenario or otherwise?

Keith Jones76 said:Sure, but since it doesn't hit those dopamine receptors quite like what she’s used to, the effect just won't be there—meaning she won't actually stick to it. If it did work, people would probably be doing it all the time.

Nah, they won't. But you gotta grind through those first few days. When I switched over to the Hayev regimen... if someone had handed me a gun during those first couple of days, I would've pulled the trigger. Now? I'm loving life.

Jerry Morales4 said:That’s still fairly high in calories, I suppose, though maybe watermelon could help a bit.

The calorie count isn't the point—it's about how much healthier and different this kind of sweet is. Fructose breaks down before it can wreck your blood sugar like refined sugar does, which means you aren't crashing and craving more junk immediately.

I eat this stuff all day long. My BMI is 19. People freak out because they see calories and ignore everything else about what they're eating. Thinking calories are the only thing that matters? That's just plain wrong.