Posts by redharbor9

Nancy Morris68 said:For anyone looking to find themselves or sort through some life hurdles—this helped me out:

Psychodrama is an experiential form of psychotherapy. It lets people rediscover their lost spontaneity and creativity by uncovering those hidden scripts we pick up along the way. You get to rethink them and actually feel them through. The whole point is to stop leaking vital energy to things that hold you back, so you can finally live a fuller, richer life. It’s about understanding yourself and others better, resolving internal conflicts, dropping toxic habits, building healthier relationships, and making sense of major life stages... plus setting actual goals for the future.

Tesa is hosting a one-day psychodrama workshop called "MEETING SELF." It’s designed to introduce you to psychodrama as a tool for personal growth and help you dive into your own inner world. We’ll be meeting at the Tesa offices in Times Square on Saturday, December 5th, starting at 9:00 AM.
If you're interested, shoot the facilitator an email at jagaric@yahoo.com or check out www.tesa.hr.👍

Who even needs a period at the end of a sentence when it ends with a link? It's totally redundant. 😍

If you want to talk stats, you better know how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide first. Personally, I can't even handle basic fractions 🙂 Statistics has nothing to do with math...

The real issues usually stem from completely different causes...

Carol Thompson said:The idea that change is possible comes from, say, professors and veteran clinical psychology experts over at Zillow. I mean, sure, maybe they were all lying when they taught their students... But if I have to choose between trusting an experienced specialist or some anonymous person on an internet forum, I think my answer is pretty obvious... ☕

Science and the profession don't actually hold a unified stance saying it's impossible. The truth is there are several conflicting viewpoints out there. And most of those disagreements are really just happening between the mainstream LGBTQ+ lobby and psychoanalysts... but at that point, we're talking about politics, power dynamics, and so on.
It’s honestly sad to see how many of you here are just pushing your own personal agendas. It feels like this whole thread has devolved into a fight for political correctness and rights rather than offering any sincere, unbiased help to slyraven9.

What you're forgetting is that this disorder isn't diagnosed in just anyone who decides they don't want to be gay or wants to change. 😉

I never said this disorder was being diagnosed in just anybody. Nor does the category of "unspecified sexual disorder" apply exclusively to homosexual orientation; it can apply to any orientation whatsoever.
That's exactly why I suggested slyraven9 should go see a professional to figure out what's actually going on with him...
And finally, even if that is indeed the disorder in question, changing one's orientation might only be one potential solution. As Drew Morgan pointed out, another option could simply be changing one's mindset and emotional outlook.
That's all from me.

So I guess they don't have names?

well now, maybe they were just lying when they said that and taught their students garbage.

When? Fifty years ago? The last guy teaching this was Gruden, and even he came to his senses after all the backlash he started getting for those kinds of ideas...

....the whole thing turned into more of a fight for gay rights than providing honest, unbiased help to Axe Bobo.

A fight for gay rights? Interesting take...

He got honest, unbiased help. And if you think he's actually gonna find a therapist willing to treat him... good luck. I doubt anyone would even dare to do it anymore...

Chris Howard4 said:No, regarding parenthood... I know several gay men, and I've never heard anyone say they wanted kids just because they had a specific "desire" for it... maybe that's why I was a bit confused, um... though I didn't think my own desire was somehow abnormal.🙂

And as for what you said about our society—unfortunately, it's the same way everywhere else outside these borders. Regarding adoption, I know there are loopholes in the law and the practicalities involved, and if—and when—I decide to have a child, I'll be more than happy to utilize them :>D

Like I said, I don't think I'm homophobic myself, but I'd actually be open to taking those tests. I'd love to settle the matter; if the results come back great, then wonderful, and if not... well, I won't be too hard on myself.

So you think every straight guy out there automatically wants kids?🙂
Wanting kids isn't a rule...

For example, one of my professors back in college predicted I wouldn't even feel like having kids until I hit 35.😍

Chris Howard4 said:@redharbor9

I was actually hoping you’d weigh in on this... I wanted to pull you into the conversation, specifically regarding what I wrote about that gap between learned social norms—those rigid patterns we're taught to follow—and our raw, primal needs and desires.

(I'm not entirely sure if I'm articulating this clearly, so please bear with me since my background is in a completely different field altogether)

Let me try to be a bit more specific....

My own sense of longing—that occasional ache over not being straight—really boils down to two things:

1.) I want a child, mostly because of the emotional security inherent in that kind of bond. The love a parent feels for a child doesn't really fluctuate much; I have this drive to care for someone, to provide love, and ultimately to receive that same devotion in return. I know everyone's experience is different—for instance, I haven't lived with my parents since I turned 18, and we live states apart now, though we share this unbreakable, almost cosmic connection... It isn't the kind of pain you feel when you lose a partner; it's something mutual, unconditional, and seemingly limitless. That alone makes me want a child, which is why I find myself drawn to women—because, let's face it, no guy is going to give me a biological child, and adoption in America still has its hurdles... I'm sure you're familiar with how that goes.

2.) The reality is that life just seems simpler for straight people, and honestly, I wish mine were that straightforward too. I can't think of just one example to prove it; there are a million equally valid ones.

So, does this mean I don't accept myself? Am I somehow internalized homophobic? Hmm... I don't think so, though maybe to a small degree since I'm not out to everyone. But I view that as a calculated choice—it's simply easier this way. I worry that people might eventually look down on me or treat me differently as a colleague or a peer, and I refuse to give them the satisfaction of diminishing me. In my line of work, I can't exactly find a niche where I won't run into someone like that... whereas maybe a doctor working at a major hospital in New York City could afford to be more open.

There was a time when I considered telling my immediate family, but I didn't get the support I needed from my boyfriend back then. He kept pushing the decision onto me, essentially saying he didn't want to be there when I told them... So, I've concluded that it wasn't homophobia, but rather a lack of courage. Or maybe—and I wonder this myself—is it actually a bit of both?

As for me as an individual, I'm fine with who I am. I know what I am, and I've managed to sort through most of the pieces in my head—even if I've perhaps placed a few of them in the wrong spots. I'm not living under the delusion that I'll suddenly become straight; I know I won't, and I know I'll never marry a woman. I'm certainly not dreaming of some idealized version of the traditional American nuclear family... If I do dream, it’s about finding that perfect partnership and having a child—ideally my own, which is nearly impossible, or perhaps through adoption in an environment that wouldn't judge a child for having two dads.

It’s totally normal. I already laid out some of the reasons people want kids based on the research, but let’s be real—it's also just how you're wired. It's an instinct.

Thinking that gay people shouldn't or can't have kids is straight-up stupid. Sexual orientation is just one tiny part of who someone is. Expecting a gay person to not want kids is just as delusional as expecting them to not need food or water. It’s basic human nature. Period.

Sexual orientation doesn't even stop someone from having a kid. Period.

Look, it’s science. Romantic love and parental love aren't even in the same league. They hit completely different parts of your brain. Period.

What you want isn't even weird. The real issue here is our society, not you.

nimblemaker52 said:

Fact is, life's just easier for streamers. Obviously I wish mine was that simple too... honestly, I can't even pick one example to prove it because there are a million valid ones.

Don't we all just default to the path of least resistance? It’s basically hardwired into us. Human nature is all about hunting for the easiest way out—minimizing stress, dodging pain, and avoiding risk whenever possible. It's how we're built.

Quincy:

So now we're playing this game? Am I just dealing with some deep-seated self-loathing here? Like, am I actually autohomophobic? Seriously?

I don't see any sign of internalized homophobia in what you wrote. There’s an actual questionnaire used to measure that stuff—I can dig it up and compare the results to a study done here in the States a few years back, if I can find the data. But honestly? Based on what I'm saying, that isn't the issue. I already explained it to you.

Quincy:

Not really. Maybe to an extent, since I’m not exactly everyone's cup of tea.

Independence has zero to do with self-acceptance or having the guts to stand up for yourself. Self-acceptance—meaning that internalized homophobia—is about how YOU actually feel and process things deep down. It’s not about what you want, what you have to do, or what you think you should be doing. Period.

Quincy:

Look, personally? I don't have a problem with it.

Just like you said. 🙂

nimblemaker52 said:Are you kidding me? 🙄

:yes:

slyraven9 said:Thanks for the advice, Anne Hathaway. 🙂
It’s almost been two weeks since I started this thread.
I've been taking some of the advice people gave me here, and things are... let's just say they've improved a little bit. First and foremost, I've started finding the female body attractive. I notice breasts—you know, that softness, the curves, how they move when women walk—and butts and legs too. I won't go into graphic detail, but yeah, I'm more attracted to women than I used to be. It isn't quite the same kind of arousal I feel toward men, but it's definitely stronger than before. Even my attraction to men has dipped, which I didn't really expect—not a total wipeout, but definitely noticeable. It's tough, though. It feels a bit like giving an addict exactly what they crave most, but if you've made up your mind that you want to be "normal," you just have to fight for it. I had a few slip-ups at first, but the further I go, the easier it gets. You just learn how to live with it and manage it.

EDIT:
Just so we're clear, it's not like this is possible in such a tiny window of time. If I'm managing it, it doesn't mean everyone can just snap their fingers and do it. I have to emphasize that I've actually been wrestling with this for several months now, like I mentioned in my very first post.

The real question is what exactly did you "pull off"...

- Shaping your sexuality?
- Getting through a standard teenage phase?
- Just gaslighting yourself?
- Suppressing your urges hard enough?
- ....?

This isn't just about changing sexual orientation.. 🙂

Carol Thompson said:It IS possible to change one's sexual orientation. That isn't just my take on things—it's backed by scientific and professional consensus. Now, that doesn't mean every single person who wants to make that shift will succeed, but it is doable.
If you're living near Zillow, for instance, you could head over to Reebok; they have an excellent team of psychologists there, some of whom specialize specifically in matters of sexuality, orientation, and identity.
Plus, being in your adolescence actually works in your favor if you decide to pursue this path...

I see some people here claiming it's impossible. In my view, those folks are either uninformed, unprofessional, or simply biased.
The clinical reality is this: the DSM used to classify homosexuality as a deviation. Of course, that stance was abandoned long ago, and today's DSM-4 includes categories regarding "unspecified sexual disorders," which deal with "persistent and significant distress caused by one's own sexual orientation."
So, I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for axe_bobo, but he's the only one who can find out by sitting down with a specialist.

Good luck, axe_bobo, whatever you decide to do... 🙂

Where are you getting that from? Science and actual experts have made it crystal clear that it isn't possible... You got a reference, a link, or a book you're basing this "fact" on?

if you're from Zion, there's a really solid team of psychologists at Ribbon, and some of them have actually specialized in issues regarding sexuality, sexual orientation, and identity.

But they HAVE NOT specialized in it and they DO NOT deal with changing sexual orientation.

the pros will get this: the DSM used to list homosexuality as a sexual deviation. Obviously, that stance was dropped, and now in the current DSM-4, there's a category for "unspecified sexual disorder" which refers to "persistent and significant distress caused by one's own sexual orientation."

What you're forgetting is that this disorder isn't diagnosed for just anyone who decides they don't want to be gay or wants to change.😉

Chris Howard4 said:Look, I don't mean to turn this thread into a deep dive on religion or spirituality—that’s probably not what we're here for. Personally, I tend to view what people call God as more of an energy, or perhaps just some force greater than ourselves... I suppose everyone has their own way of looking at it.

Moving on, though—none of us are identical, and our life experiences aren't exactly carbon copies of one another either. I didn't lay out all that personal stuff about myself just for you to try and map it onto your own life; based on your posts, it seems to me you're quite capable of thinking for yourself, so I really just wanted to give you some food for thought.

Here is a little more...
I deal with certain desires regarding the opposite sex—it’s hard to put my finger on it. I know I'm gay, but sometimes I feel this strange sense of nostalgia for things I'm missing out on because of that... specifically when it comes to having children, though there's more to it than that. I wonder if it's just leftover conditioning from how I was raised as a kid, or if it's a genuine, underlying need. Usually, I quickly realize that I wouldn't be able to settle down with one woman for the rest of my life. I actually had the chance to have sex with a woman recently... everything was great, very high energy, a bit of fun, I was definitely turned on, and honestly, I could have gone for it—but I didn't. I wish I knew why I didn't... I just don't know.

It seems to me that what's bothering you is that gap—that disconnect—between what you actually want or need and the behaviors you were taught or accepted as "normal"... I used my own experience to illustrate that point. It might not be exactly the case for you, but it's something to consider.

I'd love to see redharbor9 join the conversation. It feels like no one has approached the topic from this specific angle yet, and given his expertise in that field, he'd likely have some pretty insightful things to say. 🙏

Look, as a gay guy, I know people think I'm biased in this thread, but whatever...

Not sure what I should even weigh in on... the parenting side or the wife side?

Parenting—specifically the "why" behind it—breaks down into four main drivers: altruistic, fatalistic, narcissistic, and instrumental.

It was written by a rabbi (you can look up the details online).

That last category gets split into four parts: self-validation, continuing the family line, maintaining marital stability, and patriotic motivation.

I'm not saying someone fits into just one bucket. It's more like a mix of different motives that vary in intensity from person to person.

As for those fantasies about a future with a wife... from what I've seen, the people chasing that are almost always dealing with internalized homophobia. They haven't fully accepted their sexuality, so they lean into those social expectations and obligations instead. Guess it's just easier for them to find an excuse to deny who they really are.

Just wondering how you think you have the right to interpret God and His intentions unless you're claiming to be on His level... 😉

placidwolf2 said:Well, thanks for the consolation. At least I don't have kids to drag away from a boyfriend or a future husband just so I can take them off to live with my new wife.😂

I haven't really kept up with the legal side of things here in the US: are same-sex couples allowed to adopt children?

And judging by your tone, you must be from my neck of the woods.😲 I went through psychotherapy about five or six years ago for a different issue, but I wouldn't mind going back. Since you specialize in sexuality, consider me a client on your couch tomorrow.🙂

We can always move this to private messages if my questions are getting too intrusive.😉

Look, this is a massive headache of a question. If someone already has a kid and moves in with a partner of the same sex, that's fine. Of course, things get messy when (like an ex-husband) calls Child Protective Services and starts making up wild stories...

But that’s totally different from adoption. One person can adopt (which is basically impossible anyway), but you can't do it as a couple...

Not my specialty, so I can't give you the full breakdown. That's all I know. 🙂

Quentin:

I can tell you're from my neck of the woods😲 I went to psychotherapy about 5 or 6 years ago for something else, but I could go back. Since you deal with sexuality stuff, count me in—I'll be on your couch tomorrow.🙂 We can just DM if my questions are getting too intrusive.😉

Not at all, I'm not hiding who I am on this forum... I do therapy as part of training for therapists, and right now I actually have a ton of clients (mostly because I attract the most wild, one-of-a-kind cases😍). But seriously, hit me up in my DMs if you want or need to (since I specialize in sexuality).😉

lonegardener said:So, what you're saying is it's possible for someone to think they're straight, only to realize later—maybe after 30—that they're actually gay. But the reverse isn't possible? That someone thinks they're gay, only to find out later they're actually straight? 😬

That's a pretty interesting asymmetry, I have to admit...

Yeah, that's probably possible too... why wouldn't it be?

placidwolf2 said:Thanks for the input. 😘 I get where you're coming from, and I've actually considered that possibility. Maybe I didn't make this clear enough, but when I fall for a woman, men basically cease to exist in my mind—I just don't perceive them anymore. 😕 It feels like an all-or-nothing situation for me; there isn't much middle ground. The real issue is what happens if I actually commit to a woman after having physical experiences with one. That pull is obsessive, yet at the same time, it absolutely terrifies me.

I know the general consensus is that sexual orientation mostly solidifies during adolescence, and back then, my feelings definitely leaned toward guys. That’s why I’m so conflicted. If anyone here knows the clinical take on this: is it actually possible to suddenly realize you're homosexual right as you're hitting thirty? When you're young, you just drift along without overthinking things like I am now. I'm scared to dive into something REAL that could completely overhaul my life, because part of me keeps telling me this is all just some temporary phase.🙄

Yeah, it happens. I've seen it plenty of times. Usually with women in their 30s or 40s. They just suddenly realize they're attracted to women, even if they already have a husband and kids. It almost always ends the same way—divorce and leaving the guy (and the kids) behind..

Don't ask me about the "why" or whatever. I don't dig into the past like that; I just deal with what's happening right now. But yeah, it's possible and it definitely happens..

lonegardener said:Look, I’m no expert here. It’s entirely possible you’re right; I have no way to verify that objectively. The point is, Spitzer claims it’s still possible (if I may add, he also mentions it's "extremely difficult" and "not worth the effort"); I’m simply reacting to your absolute assertion that it’s "impossible."

Honestly, that's a weak argument, LOL. Maybe he'll feel "ashamed" about his role back in '73, too? It's pointless. Who knows what you'll be embarrassed about 30 years from now? (Or me, for that matter.)

Yes, you are. You might claim your bias doesn't affect your judgment, but you can't deny that you have one. Besides, I have one too.

That isn't a fact; it's just a politically correct postulate. For that to be a "fact," you'd need a study that tracks, say, 200 random people over a 10-year period and shows exactly what you're claiming in every single case. Do you have a reference to a study like that or anything similar? As far as I know, those kinds of studies aren't even conducted; what you're describing is just an "educated guess."

Does the reverse apply too? 😍

True, it’s a bit set in stone and a bit fluid—it really depends on the context of the debate we're having. 😈

Exactly. There’s no room for believing something is impossible just because it hasn't been proven impossible yet. If you claim it can't be done, I’d love to see a reference "proving" that it is literally impossible. Honestly, I don't see how you'd even go about proving that—it reminds me of trying to prove that all swans are white.

I know exactly what Spitzer claims because I actually follow his debates. And trust me, other big-name experts say something totally different. They don't take him seriously and they definitely don't think he's right.

You can't just cling to one guy just because his opinion fits your narrative.

Quentin:

That's a total non-sequitur, LOL. What, is he gonna be 'ashamed' of his role back in '73? Please. Who knows what you'll be embarrassed about in 30 years? (Or me, probably.)

It was said in terms of being wrong and flawed... just like his own views, for that matter.

Quentin:

Sure you can. You can claim your bias doesn't affect your judgment, but you can't deny you have one. We all do.

Yeah, sure. You'll call me biased because I'm gay, and I'll call you biased because your prejudices make it impossible for you to use logic since everything is driven by emotion... and then we just end the debate because nobody is objective? Yeah, I'm not playing that game.😍

Quentin:

That's not a fact, it's just a political postulate. For that to be a 'fact,' you'd need a study tracking, say, 200 people over 10 years that proves exactly what you're saying. Got a citation for a study like that? As far as I know, those aren't even done; what you're doing is just an 'educated guess.'

A study like that is impossible to pull off, but it's based on case study facts. Sure, there are gaps, but there are statistical methods to account for all those variables. I don't know if anyone's specifically done it that way, but my stance is backed by experts way more qualified than me or anyone else in this thread.

Quentin:

Yeah, it's a bit rigid, a bit fluid—depends on how you need it to be for whatever argument you're making... 😈

Actually, it depends on what we're talking about. To me, it's like sex. Your sex is set at birth and you can't just change it later to be something else. Even the behaviorists admitted they were lost on that one.

Quentin:

Exactly. You can't just claim something is impossible without proof. If you're gonna insist it's a dead end, show me the actual reference proving it’s literally impossible. Honestly, I don't even see how you'd "prove" that—it's like trying to prove every single swan in existence is white.

Look, in science—which is what you're leaning on here—not everything is strictly proven through empirical data (some stuff just can't be, and some shouldn't be), but that's why we build theories and draw conclusions based on probability and availability. It's way more solid than just holding onto implicit biases... though there are people on this forum who could give you a much better lecture on actual science and the scientific method.

slyraven9 said:First off, let me just say—I am 100% not trolling here. This isn't some joke. It’s a situation that’s been eating at me for a while now, and honestly, I haven't felt comfortable opening up to anyone because... well, people can be judgmental. (Kind of like how flexxx acts).

Anyway, I'm 19.

Also, I really do fall for girls. In fact, there's a huge chance that once I'm actually in a relationship and totally head-over-heels for someone, this whole issue might just vanish. I've had girlfriends before.

Fourthly—and maybe I didn't phrase this right earlier—but I don't just "believe" things have changed, I *know* it. I can feel the difference in myself. I used to be this super quiet, withdrawn kid, but now I'm finally coming out of my shell.

Fifthly... well, back when I hit puberty, I was mostly attracted to girls. But over the years, something feels like it shifted, like a glitch occurred, and suddenly I started finding guys attractive too. Now that I'm trying to work through it, everything feels totally muddled and I'm just lost on what to do next.

There’s no "disorder" here. It’s just a normal part of growing up. Adolescence is when your sexuality actually takes shape, and if you want to figure it out, you’ve gotta stop fighting it and just feel what you feel.

If you’d just said you’re 19 right off the bat, we wouldn't be having this massive debate. According to some experts, sexual identity can still be forming well into your twenties, so figuring out your orientation takes time.

A "homosexual phase"—if you even want to call it that—isn't rare during your teen years. Plenty of people go through it, whether it sticks or not. Sure, maybe you are Bi or Gay. The only way to actually know what's going on is to lean into those feelings and see where they lead.

But honestly? If you’re starting from the mindset that you *don't* want this and you're just looking for excuses to convince yourself it's a phase, you're headed for a disaster. My advice? Go see a therapist. Work on yourself and learn how to accept this part of who you might be.

lonegardener said:The issue is your use of the word "fact." That isn't actually a fact, because those kinds of studies aren't even conducted anymore—they're considered totally unethical.

It seems to me you’ve taken the opinion of a *scientist* (and a highly respected one at that) and dismissed it as mere "belief"—even though it's actually expert opinion—while treating your own stance as an absolute "fact."

Plus, you're being biased. 😍

That's a common, unfounded objection. We don't have a way to read minds yet; how are you supposed to judge whether a change is just in behavior or also in "orientation"? Just because it feels that way to you? If someone claims they've changed their orientation, they're obviously lying, right? 😬 Look, Spitzer believed him; I don't see why I should find your opinion more relevant than his.

Emotional makeup isn't written in the stars, nor is it set in stone. People can change. Sometimes, quite drastically.

Just because you know many such stories doesn't prove that this is how it works in every single case. Something a scientist would surely know. Actually, I'm confident you do know. 😬

🤷 If you can actually find enough volunteers for that, then it’s a brilliant idea. You might even become famous. Personally, I wouldn't mind participating, and I won't jump to conclusions about what the results might show. 😬

(Though, if you're asking, I probably wouldn't step up as a volunteer myself. 😈)

Except they've been doing them for decades, and they're still doing them today. There are therapists "curing" people right now, and there are even church-run camps trying to force the "right path" and all that.

The success rate of all those old attempts, and even the current ones, shows just one thing: total failure.

I think you've easily taken the opinion of a *scientist* (and a respected one at that) as common 'belief' (it's actually an 'expert opinion')—while treating your own stance as some kind of 'fact.'

Fine, we can debate Spitzer if you want.. should we start with him saying he's ashamed he once pushed for masturbation to be in the DSM? Maybe he'll say he's ashamed of that too next time..

You wanna start quoting Paul Cameron too (since someone mentioned Bruna, so why not..)?

And on top of that, you're biased. 😍

I'm not.

That's a standard, baseless objection. We don't have a mind-reader yet; how are you supposed to judge if it's just a change in behavior or a change in 'orientation'? Just because it seems that way to you?

No.. there are ways to assess a person, to track them over time.. and the fact is, the "cured" always end up back where they started...

And if a person claims they changed their orientation, they're obviously lying, right. 😬 Well, Spitzer believed them; I don't see why I should consider your opinion more relevant than his.

The question is whether you want to develop an objective opinion or just find evidence to support your existing bias. 🙂

Emotional makeup isn't written in the stars, nor is it set in stone. People can change. Sometimes drastically.

But sexuality is pretty much set in stone...

Just because you've heard a bunch of stories doesn't mean that's how it works every single time. As a scientist, you should know better than to assume that. Honestly, I'm pretty sure you actually do know. 😬

And look, in my career as a scientist, I’ve never come across a single "treatment" case that proves otherwise. Neither have any other researchers in this field. Until science proves something else, we stick to what's been proven. You should realize that when you're constantly throwing the word "science" around... there's zero room for blind faith in this business.

lonegardener said:Maybe the guy is dealing with something genuine, or maybe he’s just a troll looking for a reaction. How am I supposed to know? If this is a legitimate struggle, I can't really offer much help because I don't know if orientation is something that can actually change. redharbor9 and you both claim it isn't, which seems to be the consensus among most people who speak out about this; meanwhile, Spitzer believes it might be possible, even if it's an uphill battle. Personally, looking at it from a purely logical standpoint, I don't see why it would be "impossible." It's likely incredibly difficult, sure, but there isn't some law of physics preventing it. I'm not one to make such absolute, categorical statements. 😬

I think that word "believes" is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Here's the reality: every single attempt at this has flopped. Anything that actually "works" is just someone masking their behavior, not changing who they are deep down. Eventually, they snap, and things get even uglier.

Look, logically speaking, I don't see why anyone's calling this "impossible." Sure, it’s probably a massive uphill battle, but there isn't some law of physics out there making it a literal impossibility. I wouldn't be throwing around those kinds of absolute statements if I were you. 😬

It depends on how you look at the logic. Changing sexual orientation is one thing, but changing behavior is another. Orientation involves the emotional side of things, whereas behavior is just about the sex.

Of course you can force someone to act straight, marry, and have kids. But eventually, everything just snaps. And when it does? You're screwed. I've heard countless stories like this, and they always end the exact same way: years of intensive therapy and psychiatric care. Not to mention the absolute wreckage it leaves behind for the rest of the family. It’s a disaster.

slyraven9 said:Must be nice. That’s the thing—I *have* accepted it, but I still can't wrap my head around it. It's like, I'm miserable either way. Dating girls? Nothing. Being with guys? Well, that's just how things are. I'm honestly at a loss.

Does that even matter?

Could be, but honestly, digging into that drama might just backfire on you. Better to just let it go.

You didn't even say how old you are.

There's no way to change it.