Posts by nimbleviper142

Lawrence Cruz said:If my posts bother you, feel free to look elsewhere.

Nah, won't do that. You're just trolling for the hell of it. If you actually said something useful or gave some real advice on how to fix the issue, I wouldn't even bother. But this? This is just obnoxious. Your comment is straight-up rude and completely misses the point of the thread.

Lawrence Cruz said:I think it’s pretty obvious to everyone that he's dancing on the edge.

The guy is broke—it’s pretty obvious he's dancing on the edge here. An eviction or a bank levy isn't going to happen overnight, though. Honestly? My favorite kind of collections are those aggressive cell phone service garnishments. 🙄 That brings us to 1,500. 😲 Was he the one talking about that money—or was it someone else?

He’s been sitting on that debt for ages—way too long, honestly—but he hasn't lifted a finger to settle it. It's certainly a responsible way to handle things, if you consider that being honest. 😕

If that bank teller was really acting the way she’s being described—I honestly don't get why he didn't demand to speak with the branch manager right then and there. He could have easily signed off on recovering half the amount immediately (since the garnishment ate up the other half) and then just worked out a structured payment plan for the rest over a few months. Simple enough.

And why do you even care why the guy has debt, how he got it, or why he hasn't paid it back yet? It’s none of your business, and nobody asked you to play moral police.

Raymond Clark7 said:But who actually ARE "they"???

You're dealing with a woman who works for a paycheck just like everyone else; you haven't screwed over some massive Wall Street bank or a bunch of billionaire executives, you've just inconvenienced a regular person who isn't swimming in millions and probably deals with the same daily struggles you do, except she's got a job, which is about it.

If there's a shortage in the register, you cover it yourself—if you've ever worked retail or service, you know that's just how it goes with every boss out there! If the drawer doesn't balance at the end of a shift, you grab your own wallet and make up the difference, because if that's not the case, then why are you even showing up to work day after day anyway?
And honestly, doesn't everyone make mistakes sometimes??

And honestly, because she isn't loaded, she should probably be way more careful with the cash she handles every day. She's the one who messed up her own situation; it's on her, not him.

Nobody is out here saying (not even the OP) that the money shouldn't be paid back. Of course it should. But it shouldn't be forced on him like this. This whole mess is the bank's fault—specifically that teller's mistake—so let her fix it her own way instead of dragging a guy into a massive overdraft just because of her carelessness and incompetence.

Rachel Brooks63 said:EDIT: wait, are those actually NewJeans? holy crap. 🤣 🤣

To me they look like Bob Saget and those other two guys from an empty house... 🤔

Probably not, I'm pretty blind... just saw the pic and it fit the thread, so maybe that's why... 😬

slywolf45 said:Ah, sweet dreams..

If you check the mod corner under the archives, there are still threads explicitly stating that stuff exists and that you guys actually use it. But hey, maybe I'm just losing my mind. It’s probably just an urban legend, kind of like how much mods actually get paid. Not that anyone ever writes about that either. 😁

Christian Smith49 said:if someone's being civil and polite, who are you to tell them they can't write? ☕

Because they're breaking the forum rules.

Jason Booth25 said:I understand my own position perfectly clearly, but it seems like you’re having a hard time grasping it. I make a point to read with actual comprehension, yet you seem to struggle whenever you encounter someone who doesn't share your exact perspective. You can try to force your viewpoint on me all you want, but acting superior won't make it any more valid. If you genuinely take it personally when a stranger on an American forum disagrees with you—to the point where you feel the need to lecture me about "reading for understanding"—then I honestly don't know what to tell you. Perhaps you should take a moment to reflect on why this specific topic is triggering such a defensive reaction in you and what exactly is bothering you so much. Good luck with that reflection. I’d prefer to end this conversation here; there is really no point in continuing a discussion that has become this unproductive.

It is actually mind-blowing how you STILL don't get what I wrote!

Nobody's forcing you to agree with me. I never said that, and I'm not being "superior" or "defensive." I was just using another example since you were so hung up on "looking at things from all angles."
I don't have an issue with the topic at all. Honestly, I could probably even give you my own take on it, if you catch my drift.

But I'm done... your total inability to grasp what's being said is just wild. I'm out.🤦

Jason Booth25 said:You think I missed the point just because we don't see eye to eye on this, but let's be clear: saying "what kind of woman allows herself to be abused by her husband" is pure condemnation. It bothers me that the focus isn't placed squarely on the person who is overwhelmingly more at fault—the abuser. Of course, as an adult responsible for her own life, she carries her own share of accountability, but let's have some humanity here and try to look at the situation from multiple angles before jumping to conclusions. Most people in these situations have dealt with abuse from parents in the past, which often leads them to feel, unfortunately, that they deserve this treatment due to a deep-seated lack of self-esteem. This is a complex issue, and every case needs to be treated as unique. That’s why I find it pointless to immediately lash out at the victim—especially a woman who actually found the strength to fight for herself and get a divorce, which is incredibly difficult. We should at least give her credit for what she accomplished.

As for you refusing to buy into the narrative of an emotionally shattered woman, and choosing not to show empathy toward women in those positions for whatever your reasons may be—that is your right. You and I simply hold different perspectives on these matters; we view things through different lenses. I can understand where you're coming from, but I don't agree with you, and that is my right as well.

Nah, I don't think you missed the point just because our opinions clash. Read it again, man. You're still missing what I'm saying.

In the whole abuser-victim dynamic, they're both equally to blame. The abuser for doing it, and the victim for allowing it (and yeah, I'm talking about systematic abuse since that's the topic here). No one is more or less guilty. You talk about looking at all sides, but you're being totally one-sided. I wasn't attacking her or judging her, but realistically, she's responsible for letting it happen; she could have walked away and lived a happy life. I'm telling you, it doesn't take a lifetime of trauma to realize something is wrong—one slap is enough of a wake-up call for any sane person.

What part isn't clicking?

Jason Booth25 said:To Ronald Garcia5:
Sure, she’s ultimately responsible for her own life, but that doesn't mean she deserves to be judged—she needs support, plain and simple. And honestly, Brandon Lopez6 hit the nail on the head; if you want to play the armchair critic, go find somewhere else to do it. You’re really going to sit here and judge a woman who’s been abused, insecure, and emotionally shattered? Take a second to think about who actually deserves the blame: the victim or the abuser?

I don't usually get into arguments on these forums, but I just couldn't let this slide. It’s pretty obvious you’re projecting your own issues by trying to kick people you perceive as "weaker" than yourself. You did the exact same thing over on that psychology board when you started that thread asking "trebati li spašavati ili odfakati emocionalno nestabilan". Opening a discussion like that on a forum filled with people dealing with their own mental health struggles is incredibly tone-deaf. You might want to take a look in the mirror and deal with your own baggage first.
My apologies to the moderators if I’ve veered off topic; it won't happen again.

I think you totally missed the point. Nobody’s out here judging her.
The thing is, she let the guy abuse her, so yeah, she’s responsible for that. As for why her brother didn't step in—who’s to say he didn't?

And I'm not buying that whole "broken, traumatized woman" routine. One slap isn't going to ruin someone's life forever, and for any sane person, it's more than enough reason to walk away.

Laura Bishop said:It doesn't even matter—those hardcore forum users would just log out and see everything anyway.

Those guys are sneaky as hell.

Yeah, wow... such deep wisdom right there... I mean, how on earth did they even come up with that one? 🙄

hollowtrucker77 said:So, I’ve been thinking about this lately—when you’re out in the real world and you just straight-up decide to ignore someone, does that person actually become invisible to you, or is it more of a psychological trick where you just stop acknowledging their existence?

Wait, wait, wait... are you actually trying to tell me that if I ignore someone, they can still see me? 😲 Noooooo way.

redharbor9 said:What am I even doing here...

I never said you were the only one insisting it's a woman—I said everyone replying is acting like it's a woman...

2. Honestly, even after my third post, you still haven't grasped what I'm asking.
I want to know WHY the partner's gender matters for this thread, but you're dodging the question.

To you (obviously), this thread means some broad debate about the topic, but to me, it's about answering the OP, not having some massive theoretical discussion. My take on how this forum works is why I answered the way I did. 🙂 Basically, the opening post sets the tone and direction. In this case, it’s about a specific relationship between the author and their partner, not some general lecture on relationships...

so why do you keep quoting me then? 🤣

redharbor9 said:What am I even doing here...

I never said you were the only one insisting it's a woman—I said everyone replying is acting like it's a woman...

2. Honestly, even after my third post, you still haven't grasped what I'm asking.
I want to know WHY the partner's gender matters for this thread, but you're dodging the question.

To you (obviously), this thread means some broad debate about the topic, but to me, it's about answering the OP, not having some massive theoretical discussion. My take on how this forum works is why I answered the way I did. 🙂 Basically, the opening post sets the tone and direction. In this case, it’s about a specific relationship between the author and their partner, not some general lecture on relationships...

Look, when the OP goes ghost for this long, the thread basically turns into a total wasteland of context. It just loses all its meaning.
whatever, back at it again. even if I'm just obsessing over what the author is dealing with right now, it’s got nothing to do with anything else. 🤷
Whatever. We clearly aren't seeing eye to eye on this one, and honestly? That's fine by me. End of story.

mistyraven said:Keeping an eye on this thread—glad to see the conversation picking up.

You're right, though—the whole thing boils down to the fact that I have a boyfriend (I'm gay, mentioned that somewhere already).

Anyway, I talked to him. Laid it all out there. He’s known for a long time that I can be obsessive and jealous—not just about exes, but just in general, I guess.

He knows I deal with depression, that my self-esteem and confidence are pretty much non-existent, and that's where my insecurity comes from. Which, naturally, leads back to the obsession and jealousy stuff.

I really need to just accept things for what they are. Dwelling on the past is useless. He’s seven years older than me, so yeah, obviously he’s had more life experience before we met.

But, he’s never actually been in a relationship before—those were just surface-level flings, since he couldn't really commit to anyone. He wasn't in love with anyone before me.

Every single day he tells me he loves me and how much I mean to him.

The guy literally treats me like royalty. He says the sweetest things, and honestly, I know he’d do absolutely anything for me based on how he acts.

And I feel bad about it, because after everything, I end up acting this way and my negative attitude just ends up hurting him and myself.

I’ve got to work on myself. It would be such a waste if these three amazing years together just went down the drain because of my own bullshit. Not many gay couples make it this long.

We’ve been through it all—traveled everywhere, summer trips, ski trips... at the end of the day, I love him so much I’d give my life for him.

Because he was there for me when nobody else was. He has never once turned his back on me, no matter what. And God knows how many times I’ve hit rock bottom during my depressive episodes.

By the way, thanks everyone for the advice!

Glad you finally found someone, 🙂
honestly, I’d suggest looking into some therapy just to work on the jealousy stuff and building up some actual self-confidence... sometimes it's just too much to deal with on your own. You never really know if you're handling things right or just spiraling, so having a pro there to help put everything into perspective can be huge.

I went through the exact same thing once and ended up screwing everything up because of my own jealousy, insecurity, and constant overthinking about whether they actually liked me or not. Really hoping you don't end up making the same mistakes.🙂

redharbor9 said:That's how you rationalize things? 🙂 Imagine walking into a therapist's office...

You: "I'm having trouble with my boyfriend, this relationship is weighing me down..."
Therapist: "How is your girlfriend weighing you down in this relationship?"
You: "My boyfriend..."
Therapist: "So, your girlfriend..."

If that doesn't give you even the slightest feeling that nobody is listening to you or taking you seriously, fine... but just know you're the outlier and most people would find that infuriating. So

As for more advice, online counseling, or venting, take it to the DMs or start a new thread.😉

god 🤦

Look, if you're not trying to be a jerk, just read the thread from the top and try again.

1. The OP never specified their partner's gender, nor did they insist it was a guy—I'm the one constantly assuming it's a girl. Honestly, it feels like you're the one who needs to take your own advice 😉

2. I don't think even after my third post you've actually grasped what I'm asking.
I want to know WHY the partner's gender matters to this topic, but you're dodging the question. Even though you kept bringing it up as a major factor in several posts. 🤷
Feel free to use an example if that makes it easier for you to explain.

The OP isn't replying, so we're free to discuss this however we want. I just used a male-female dynamic as a random example because I don't see how gender changes anything here. As far as I'm concerned, it could be a romance between two guys or a guy and a squirrel 🤷

btw, the only post where I actually mentioned gender was:

nimbleviper142 said:Yeah, I'm curious too. It’s kind of weird for a guy to suddenly get hung up on a partner's past after THREE YEARS together.

That's why I'm asking what rattled him so much. How can you even tell if it's something major or just some random thing?
For example: there's a massive difference between "honey, you aren't my first" and "honey, I spend my weekends digging up graves." 🤷

There, I edited it. Can I get an answer to my question, or were you just talking just to hear yourself speak? 🍿

redharbor9 said:I don't get why you're getting so worked up about this, and honestly, you don't even seem like you actually want to see... Look, this thread is about one specific topic. Go argue about that somewhere else.🙂

worked up 😁
you're right, I'm losing sleep over this 🤣
haven't gotten an actual explanation yet so I'm just gonna assume you're just talking nonsense

Lisa Hernandez3 said:I know you did—my apologies. I only said it because they kept right on with the same behavior even after you were gone. And, since I promised, I'll pick up where I left off with the story after this post:

Perhaps this isn't even central to the main topic—though we might only figure that out if the thread starter, as redharbor9 puts it, actually participated more frequently—but I suppose if there’s an error here, we should just fix it and move back to the actual subject at hand. I mentioned earlier that all of this might be linked to how dominant the partner is—which could potentially be the real trigger for those "past history" issues—but that is really just a theory. It might also have something to do with whether the relationship is between two men, assuming we actually want to insist on whether the partner's gender matters to the discussion or not.

so clearly some people care about gender, but why? 🤷 personally, I don't see any reason why, or how the whole thing would change if it were a same-sex relationship. but hey, I guess that's somehow become a factor in this mess.

redharbor9 said:Look, if we're talking about giving actual advice or helping someone out, then yeah, it matters big time to the person asking for help.😉

But in what way, exactly? Am I just being an idiot here? I honestly don't see how it changes the story whether it's a guy-girl thing, girl-girl, or guy-guy.

The OP isn't even responding anyway, so this whole debate is pretty much pointless...

Honestly, what the hell does a partner's gender even have to do with any of this? Who cares? Like, does it actually change anything? It’s a totally irrelevant detail, yet you guys are clinging to it like it's some kind of holy grail...

brightridge59 said:What exactly is on your mind? That’s just about all there is to say on the matter! I have to admit, I was a little caught off guard when you just decided to head out without saying a single word! It was quite a surprise, honestly.

I honestly can't quite wrap my head around why I struggle so much to accept the reality that there was an entire era unfolding long before I ever stepped onto the scene. It’s one of those quiet, heavy realizations that hits you out of nowhere—the idea that the world was spinning, people were building lives, making mistakes, and carving out their own legacies all without me being there to witness it. Sometimes I find myself sitting on my porch in the evening, just looking out at the neighborhood, and I get this strange, overwhelming sense of vertigo thinking about how much history happened in these very streets before my time. It’s a bit humbling, really, though I still find myself wrestling with the sheer scale of it all.

Is the core issue really just what she said, or is it the simple fact that she already had more experience under her belt than you did?

I’m lying here in bed right now, staring at the ceiling, and I honestly can't even wrap my head around the idea of being physically intimate with the person I love. It feels like there's this heavy, unsettling sense of aversion washing over me, almost like a physical repulsion, and I suspect it's all tied to things I've been through in the past.

This is truly disheartening, and honestly, it just doesn't feel right at all. 😢
Unless, of course, she was implying that someone else was outperforming you, or just going out of her way to paint you as completely incompetent.

Yeah, I'm curious too. It’s kind of weird for a guy to suddenly get hung up on a partner's past after THREE YEARS together.

Alex Patel96 said:Since we’re all acting so incredibly tolerant and liberal here, I want to ask something.
Would you actually accept a partner's past if it involved something that wasn't just some trivial detail? (Though, obviously, what counts as "trivial" is entirely up to the individual.)

I asked a few guys if they would ever forgive or accept a partner's history if she had been a sex worker. Every single one of them said an absolute no.
And honestly, I agree with them.
I think there are certain things you just can't move past—and in my opinion, you shouldn't.

That's why I'm asking what rattled him so much. How can you even tell if it's something major or just some random thing?
For example: there's a massive difference between "honey, you aren't my first" and "honey, I spend my weekends digging up graves." 🤷

Maybe ACDSee or something like that.

You could also just use Paint, Adobe Photoshop, PaintShop Pro... whatever works.

Douglas Palmer47 said:I don't see why there has to be such an immediate rush to reduce women to nothing more than their physical descriptions.🙄

Whatever issue might be brewing here, the author really ought to handle it herself. Instead of letting things fester online, she should just grab those girls for a coffee or meet up with them somewhere out in the real world to hash it out.
If they keep turning us down, we should just move on, find a new crew, and call it a day. Simple as that.
Look, they aren't the only girls in town. Honestly, it’s much better to just be on your own for a while and focus on finding some actual, high-quality friends rather than trying to force a connection with someone just for the sake of it.

God, you guys are being so tedious with all this "let's grab coffee" and "try talking to them" nonsense. Get real.

The woman already tried multiple times, and these people are still systematically making a fool out of her and spitting in her face...

Honey, people like that feed on your desperation. Don't let them do this to you! Don't give them an opening; people can see you're practically crawling after them, and they're using it for their own amusement. Just turn around and walk away... you're better off alone than dealing with people like that. Nobody needs that, they'll just destroy you.

Don't give them another chance. Screw 'em, let 'em rot... stop chasing people. Let other people chase you for once.

I never understood people like you. This is straight-up masochism.

So you’re saying they aren't even on your level?? Is that what she said?? Look, I can't speak for you, but honestly, I'd rather just stay home and rot than waste my energy trying to impress people like that. It just makes you look desperate, man. Get it together. So the girl goes out with you, then ditches to "go to the bathroom" just to head home? 😲Is it just me, or is that straight-up pathological???

@Nicholas Sullivan63 - In theory, sure, it sounds fine. But in reality? Total garbage...

hiddenhound3 said:They are also considering the possibility of hypnosis, though they are grappling with the exact same uncertainty regarding whether such a method is even viable for a child so young..

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Look, I'm just throwing out suggestions and ideas, trying to be helpful... maybe it never crossed your mind to actually go ask around, which might actually help. Why do I even bother? 🙄

@redharbor9: I mean, it's not like they're gonna drag the kid to the first alternative practitioner they stumble upon. Sure, things might be desperate, but anyone with half a brain is going to do some research first. Though, most people don't really buy into that hypnosis stuff, so I doubt the OP is even considering it. Honestly, there's no point in arguing at this point.

hiddenhound3 said:It isn't actually shame he's feeling, but rather fear... which was my exact motivation for starting this thread, to gather different perspectives on what might drive children to hold their bowel movements, given that we haven't encountered any such difficulties with our little one.

Probably some irrational fear... maybe hypnosis could work? Not sure if that actually does anything for kids this young, but worth a shot if you're desperate..