Paul Thompson3 said:To be brutally honest—and I mean this in the most straightforward way possible—you’re just a coward at heart, and nothing is going to change that. You could master three different martial arts and pack on twenty pounds of muscle, but the second a real confrontation hits, you’ll still just be that same scared little kid inside. The only thing that would actually change you is some massive, life-altering trauma—the kind of rage that snaps something deep inside you. But since that would make your life a living hell, honestly? Be glad you’re relatively "normal." A guy who chooses to throw down just to save face—risking jail time and missing his kid growing up—is a coward. To some people, that's no big deal; to others, it’s everything. If you think being a man is all about fighting rather than standing your ground and living by your principles, then you’re even more of a coward—especially if you think characters like those thugs from *South Central* are role models for masculinity. Protecting your own, regardless of the fallout? That’s what matters. Everything else is just child's play. The only time I feel the urge to settle things physically is when I’m feeling weak or dissatisfied with myself. When I’m actually feeling strong and capable, I just feel superior to the whole situation—and frankly, that’s a much better way to live.
I am putting my digital signature on this one, man. I wanted to write the exact same thing to him, but unfortunately, it slipped my mind! 🙂 .
I really only have one piece of advice to offer here—don't ever let anyone else take the wheel of your life. Live it exactly how you see fit! Now, don't get me wrong, respecting what other people think is a wonderful trait to have, but that absolutely doesn't mean you should be living by their rules. At the end of the day, it’s your call—your failures, your triumphs, all of it belongs to you!
As for getting into confrontations, I can be a bit of that way myself sometimes. However, my biggest fear is actually losing control in the heat of the moment—worrying that I might actually hurt someone during an argument. Or, heaven forbid, that someone might come at me... Honestly, if you can avoid the conflict altogether, just do it, believe me...
I finished my vocational training right back in my hometown—that was a solid three-year stretch. After that, I decided to put in an extra fourth year through some correspondence courses just so I could qualify for university. Even back then, and certainly looking at my life today, I’m constantly surrounded by people who think it’s somehow "illogical" for someone with a vocational background to pursue a degree... honestly, they just don't get it! But you know me—I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum because I refuse to settle for anything less than what actually excites me. I have never, ever let anyone else's narrow-minded expectations or outdated attitudes wash over me like brainwashing. Sure, I’ve made plenty of enemies along the way by standing my ground, but I’m not complaining one bit. Every single struggle has been worth it—and it's going to be even more rewarding once all my big plans finally come to fruition!
I’m giving you the exact same advice. Chase your dreams with everything you've got. Just tune out the pessimists—those folks have already lost the race before it even started.
You really do have the power to choose—it just takes a certain amount of backbone to actually go for it. And honestly? You shouldn't feel obligated to settle for just any job that comes your way (at least not if you're looking at the long haul)... I know some people might disagree with my take here, but hey, I guess that’s just how I see things 🙂 .
So, what exactly is the deal with people like that? Is it just plain old rudeness, or is there something deeper going on under the surface? For those who might not be familiar with the slang, basically, we're talking about people who love to get physical—to strike someone or hit things... specifically, I’m talking about those types who just can't help themselves when it comes to hitting people on the head or swinging clubs around and stuff like that. Why do they even do it? Is it—and I really want to emphasize this—is it just pure, unadulterated disrespect, or is it something else entirely? Because from where I'm standing, it feels like a genuine form of abuse (something I've actually had to deal with myself)...
And I'm also wondering, how should one even handle people like this? They always try to brush it off as just "messing around," but in my book, there is absolutely nothing funny about it—though, of course, you can never truly make those "people" see your side of things. Should I respond with something even stronger to show them they can't do that, or is it better to just steer clear of them altogether?
Thanks so much in advance for any insight you all can share!
It won't be too late—honestly! I know that's how you see it, and I respect your perspective, but if you ask me? I'm telling you right now, we aren't running out of time...
I made that exact same mistake myself—and man, was it a big one. I went ahead and finished a degree that I didn't even want in the first place. But, luckily enough, I’ve already managed to turn things around halfway 🙂 . And once I wrap up my current studies, I’ll have finally corrected the course completely!
If I could offer you any advice, it would be to follow that same path. It is never too late to achieve something great in life—honestly, the only time it's truly "too late" is when they're lowering us into the ground, and then we're really out of luck . So, just charge ahead with courage and try your best to tune out all those people trying to hold you back. I know firsthand that it isn't easy—believe me, I've been right there in the trenches—but damn it, you can absolutely do this 🙂 🙂 🙂 !
Do your past mistakes ever come back to haunt you? Do you find yourself looking back with regret over them? I’ve certainly made my fair share—some minor slip-ups, and others that were quite significant... And yes, I do regret them, but it feels as though they’re still lingering right there beside me—almost like some kind of curse, heaven forbid 😢 . How about you all? How do you deal with those old shadows?
I honestly find it hard to wrap my head around how you’ve managed to spend so much time reading The New York Post, The Washington Post, USA Today, and those other outlets that follow their lead. I mean, sure, you might stumble upon an interesting tidbit or something actually useful once in a blue moon—but let's be real—there is far more garbage than substance there. If I were you, I’d suggest steering clear of them as much as humanly possible. Now, don't go living like a hermit in the woods, obviously, but do try to set some boundaries for yourself... because quite frankly, many of these platforms are fundamentally toxic at their core—but hey, that’s a whole different conversation for another day.
Moving on! Since you’re out in the countryside now, the best thing you can do is dive straight into some manual labor to get your momentum going. Whether you’re working the fields, tending to the livestock, or just tackling chores around the farmhouse—it really doesn't matter. The main thing is simply to get moving and break that inertia.
As for books, I am telling you—definitely start reading if you haven't already. You'll have to decide what kind of literature suits your tastes, though—after all, you're the one who knows yourself best 🙂 .
lonetiger98 said:So here’s my situation.😁 My old lady is super possessive—she just can't wrap her head around the fact that I've been an adult for thirty years and deserve to live my own life. I haven't actually lived under her roof in ages, but now that I'm planning to move abroad, she’s acting like I have to stay put in the States. I mean, how do some people just not get that this is *my* life we're talking about?😕 I'm just done dealing with the drama. A buddy of mine suggested I should just pack up, move, and let her find out after the fact.🤣 🤷
I just can't do it—honestly, I really can't—because some people seem to think that just because they happen to share the same planet as you, they have an automatic right to meddle in your private business. And when you factor in the fact that we're talking about your own mother... well, then things get incredibly complicated, don't they? It’s a whole different level of messy! Because mothers have this way of using guilt as a weapon—they love to pull the "I brought you into this world" card, implying we owe them everything just for existing, and then it just goes on and on and on...
wanderinggardener12 said:What exactly happens when you go out for coffee? Is she going to tie you to a radiator the next time you leave? What will happen if you actually decide to follow your own path? If you truly have legitimate reasons to move out on your own, then you should do it. Just try not to hurt her with your tone or say things you can't take back; let her know that you love her and appreciate everything she has done for you, but explain that you are moving forward, stating your reasons calmly and with affection. Regardless of what she says or how she reacts, try to maintain a steady composure and show some empathy for her fears and the pain of you leaving—especially if this might be forever. As for your claim about being able to handle the finances, that sounds fine in theory, provided it's actually true. I don't know where you live or where you plan to study, but don't delude yourself into thinking scholarships just fall from the sky. My daughter maintained a 3.9 GPA during her first and second years of college in the States, and even she didn't qualify for certain merit-based grants. But if you can manage it, good for you. You need to account for groceries, three meals a day, toiletries, laundry supplies, cleaning products, textbooks, various registration fees, lab fees, and perhaps the occasional night out... It seems more likely to me that you simply don't want to rely on your mother's apron strings anymore.
Look, listen to me. I've been conditioned since birth to believe I couldn't achieve anything significant without her. That was her whole MO. She constantly convinced me that I wasn't capable of surviving on my own and that I never would be! Do you have any idea how much that crushed me? It really did 😢. There’s a saying, "A bird born in a cage thinks flying is a disease," and honestly, that perfectly captures how I felt. She spent all these years essentially stifling my very existence under the guise of "protecting" me—but that protection caused me way more harm than good. Again, just think about that quote, and it will all make sense to you.
Jeffrey Fisher5 said:I suppose I should pose a practical question here. Who exactly would be footing the bill for your life in that other city? Is there an equivalent university right there in your hometown?
Personally, I’d handle my own finances—I’m more than capable of pulling it off! I genuinely love learning and I’ve always been a hard worker... I'm certainly not lacking in the brainpower department. Plus, there are so many scholarship foundations out there specifically designed to support students, so I wouldn't be facing an impossible uphill battle. I also don't spend much time out at bars or coffee shops—maybe once a month tops—so I wouldn't be hemorrhaging cash on social outings either. And since I’d likely qualify for federal student aid, that would provide such a massive cushion for everything else...
As for the second part, no, there isn't a school like that in my town. In fact, there aren't any colleges in my area at all.
Bluzara said: Your mother isn't trying to "run" your life—she's just trying to keep you from tripping over your own feet on the path you've chosen. Honestly, I wish I had a mom like that!
Every mother wants things done her way—it’s not being a control freak, even if that’s exactly how it feels to you right now.
And that bothers you?! What exactly is the problem here..?
If I were you, I'd spend less time criticizing her and more time actually considering what she wants for your future. I highly doubt she's trying to chain you to a radiator or anything extreme like that... Instead of fighting AGAINST your parents, try looking at how you can work together with them for your own benefit... though, judging by this post, we might be waiting for Godot...☕
Do you really think it's okay for a parent to call their kid an idiot or a psychopath just because they wanted to grab a coffee with a friend at a local cafe?! Is it? Really? Is that normal? And is it normal for a parent to block their child—a student who was straight-A all through high school and earned every accolade possible—from moving to another city for college, simply because the parent thinks it's a bad idea? Is it? I'm positive it isn't...
Hi everyone! I decided to sign up here because I’m really hoping to get some perspective on some struggles I’ve been dealing with since I was quite young... To be honest, my relationship with my mother is incredibly difficult. She is a total control freak who tries to micromanage every single aspect of my life. It feels like she always needs things done her way—she has to be right about everything, almost acting as if she were God—and it’s honestly exhausting. It really gets to me, but she doesn't seem to care one bit. I just turned 20 yesterday, and I have so many big dreams for my future! I want to go to college, travel the world, find the girl of my dreams, start a family, build a career... I just want to actually *live* my life to the fullest while I can! But there's the catch—she wants me to take a completely different path, something that fits perfectly into her specific vision of who I should be, and I simply don't want that! I really, truly don't! So, I wanted to reach out and ask you all: how do you stand up to a parent like this? How can I overcome the deep-seated fear she’s managed to instill in me over the years? Have any of you dealt with similar issues with your own parents? Any advice or shared experiences at all would mean the world to me...