Sex is fine, but my OBGYN says no?!

amberheron64 said:I mean, who else is there?? It’s just one big crowd,
honestly I just try to slip out unnoticed... like, I'll head out right before the end of the workday or something... seriously 🙄

Washington, D.C. is packed with gynecologists; you don't even have to go to the place where you actually live.

silverlynx74 said:Hmm... I actually have a mother just like that.
She’s constantly breathing down my neck about my sex life—it's like she thinks she can control whether I see a gynecologist or not. So, naturally, I just do both behind her back, because, well, life goes on.
I practically have to lie to my parents, telling them I'm just heading out for coffee with friends, when really I'm spending three hours sitting in some doctor's waiting room. 🤣🤣
I really need to start on birth control this month. Honestly, I am dreading the moment she finds out—there is going to be absolute chaos in our house once the truth comes out. 🤣🤣

I was on the pill for about three months before the breakouts hit—you know, the acne struggle is real—and now, even if she catches me, I'll probably just deadpan tell her I didn't finish the whole pack.
😍

silverlynx74 said:I need to start taking birth control this month. I can't wait until she finally finds them; the house is going to be a total circus.🤣🤣

Just stick them in your wallet (I doubt she's digging through there 🙂), along with the instructions.

I honestly feel incredibly awkward about going to see my gynecologist 😱 and I have to admit, it’s been way too long since I’ve had an appointment 🙂

brisksurfer65 said:Hi everyone... I'm 15 years old. I've been in a steady relationship for quite some time now, and just three days ago, my partner and I were intimate for the first time. We used protection, of course. I called a private gynecologist immediately today to set up an appointment. I'm going with my best friend, who finds herself in the exact same situation as I am. We simply feel that one shouldn't wait for problems to arise, but rather take every possible precaution right away. I did this out of love, and I truly believe that the timing or location doesn't matter as much as being with the right person...🙂 😍 😍

Anyway, the gynecologist listed all the tests she would perform, and the total came to $190 separately?? Does that seem excessive to you? She mentioned a Pap smear and a pelvic exam... I already got my CDC vaccine, so I'm not worried about that part!

Does taking a cervical sample hurt? I don't mind being vulnerable during the exam because I know I'm doing this for my own well-being... but I'm honestly a little nervous about whether it will be painful...🤷

I'm not entirely sure what private clinic prices look like these days, but it all seems a bit steep to me 🤔 my friend went to a private doctor for her first visit and paid $133 for the exam and the Pap... I don't know...

They won't be taking a cervical sample (because that would involve removing a tissue sample for analysis, which is completely unnecessary for someone in your position; that's typically reserved for women showing clear indicators of cancer).
They'll just take a swab. No, the swab itself isn't painful, though the mere fact that they have to use a speculum can feel a little uncomfortable 😬 (the speculum is that metal instrument used to hold everything open so they can pass the swab through to get the sample)

Have you actually gone yet? (I assume so, seeing as this was posted two weeks ago 🙂 )

silverlynx74 said:I need to start taking birth control this month. I am honestly just looking forward to finally having it sorted out; things are bound to get a little chaotic at home once we start navigating all this. 🤣🤣

Well, you should just carry them with you at all times... 🤷
Or, if you prefer, you could always just tell them you weren't feeling well and had to head out for an appointment. You could mention that they discovered a slight hormonal imbalance and prescribed some medication, but you didn't want to worry them with the details just to keep things calm...
It strikes me as quite strange, though; we are living in the 21st century, after all. It isn't as if our parents didn't have intimate lives before marriage—it’s just that they were much more reserved about discussing it. Nowadays, intimacy is viewed as a perfectly natural part of life and one of our most fundamental human needs. But if you happen to have parents who find the topic too taboo to even mention, I suppose you're left with no choice but to be untruthful. 🤷

silverlynx74 said:I’m planning to start birth control this month... honestly can't wait to finally get my hands on them, things are gonna be absolutely wild at home once I do! 🤣🤣

A Sephora bag? No way, I seriously can't believe there isn't some kind of little pouch they come with—I mean, come on! One time I actually got this tiny little cardboard case with mine, just the perfect size to tuck everything inside, and since it didn't have any branding on it, you could basically throw it anywhere... like, in your purse, a makeup bag, even a pencil case!

Sarah Morris57 said:A Sephora bag? Honestly, I find it hard to believe they don't have anything at all to dig through. One time, I actually received this little cardboard sleeve with them—it was just enough to hold everything, and since there wasn't any branding on the outside, you could tuck it anywhere, whether it's in your purse, a makeup bag, or even a pencil case.

Between my various bags and my wallet, I’m constantly digging around.
I used to keep mine tucked inside a pack of tissues—just sandwiched right between two of them. 😍

I have had terrible experiences whenever I've visited my gynecologist. The first time I went was at 16 due to severe pain, and everything was fine until two years later when I returned. I told the doctor I wanted an exam because I had become sexually active and wanted to ensure everything was okay. At that moment, the doctor actually laughed at me in front of the nurses, who just looked at one another and whispered, "That's awful." I felt horrible and decided to switch doctors immediately. When I turned 20, I went to see a gynecologist again, and his assistant shouted out in the hallway where everyone was waiting, "What do you need? Are you pregnant? How old are you?" I haven't been back to a gynecologist in a year; every time I think about it, I am horrified by how primitive some of these medical environments still are.

lonecanyon8 said:I’ve had such heartbreaking experiences whenever I’ve had to visit my gynecologist. The first time I went was when I was just sixteen because of some intense pain, and everything seemed perfectly fine then. But when I returned two years later to ask for a checkup since I had become sexually active, the doctor actually laughed at me in front of her nurses. They all just exchanged these judgmental looks and whispered, "how awful." It was so humiliating that I ended up switching doctors entirely. Then, once I turned twenty, I went back to a different clinic, and the assistant called out to me right in the middle of the waiting room, asking loudly, "What do you need? Are you pregnant? How old are you anyway?" It has been a whole year since my last appointment, and honestly, I find myself feeling quite overwhelmed by how primitive and insensitive certain medical environments still feel in this country.

I truly empathize with you... I remember one time I accompanied my neighbor to her appointment—I was only there to support her—and when it was my turn to step forward, the nurse gave me this pale, judging look and asked, "And why are you here, little girl?" or something equally condescending. I was only sixteen at the time, and I remember feeling this wave of sheer panic, thinking everyone in the room would assume I had gotten pregnant and was there to deal with the consequences.🙄 It was simply dreadful.

Carol Scott98 said:I feel you... one time I went to a gynecologist's office with my neighbor (she was there for an exam and I was just accompanying her)... and when it was my turn, the nurse looks at me all pale and asks, "Why did a little girl like you come in here?" or something like that. Ugh, I was 16 and honestly thought, "Oh my god, people are going to think I'm pregnant and came in for an abortion." 🙄 That is just terrible!!!

Exactly. And what’s worse is that even if you were 16 and pregnant, that doesn't give anyone the right to humiliate you like that. How are young women supposed to feel comfortable seeing a doctor if they're treated this way?
I realize that even now I look younger than my actual age, which might be why I've dealt with this stuff, but I'll say it again: that is no excuse!

Goodness, you read some wild things on here—everything from crazy parents (just when I thought mine were the wildest, I read a new miracle🙄) to insane doctors and medical staff.
As for me, I finally found a doctor who is absolutely incredible—but since he’s a department head at the Mayo Clinic😢, they’ll probably strip him of his private practice rights soon. I’m honestly devastated. I already know I’m going to start procrastinating and avoiding appointments again. I can’t even imagine how many more doctors I’ll have to cycle through to find someone this good🤷. I can already see myself slowly joining the crowd of people who just have sex instead of actually visiting a gynecologist🤣.

lonecanyon8 said:It truly is heartbreaking. Even if you are only sixteen and pregnant, there is absolutely no excuse for someone to treat you with such blatant disrespect. If this is how young women are treated, it makes me wonder how they could ever feel safe or comfortable enough to seek medical care from a gynecologist in the future.
I realize that I still look much younger than my actual age, which might explain why I’ve experienced certain things prematurely, but I must insist—that shouldn't be used as an excuse.

It really is quite frightening. It feels as though people are starting to view intimacy with the same scrutiny as drug dealing. ☕

Chloe Gomez6 said:Goodness, there is so much to take in here. I find myself reading about all these wild parenting styles, and just when I think my own family is reaching its peak level of eccentricity, I stumble upon yet another absolute marvel.🙄It’s honestly quite frightening to think about what some of these doctors and medical professionals are capable of when they lose their grip on reality.

What is the absolute worst thing—that was the question she asked me. I suppose I should have mentioned that I am looking for some advice on cleaning products.To be honest, they aren't even medical staff... I was just standing there in the waiting room. I could have easily been there with my mother, and frankly, I don't see why it matters to them. Why does anyone even care?

Chloe Gomez6 said:I’ve finally managed to track down a doctor who is truly exceptional. I have a feeling his position as a department head at the clinic might eventually cost him the ability to maintain a private practice.😢I feel quite disheartened right now, and I have this nagging sense that I’ll just end up procrastinating and making excuses again. It honestly feels overwhelming to think about how many more doctors I'll have to visit just to find someone who actually understands.🤷I can already see myself slowly gravitating toward that crowd—the ones who actually have active sex lives instead of just making endless appointments with their gynecologist.🤣.

If you feel comfortable with your doctor, then that's really all that matters, regardless of whether they work for a private practice or a public institution. Personally, I have an incredible relationship with my physician; I can be completely open and honest with them about anything, and I don't have to worry about any out-of-pocket costs. 😍

I know plenty of friends and relatives who fit this pattern—old enough to handle sex, cigarettes, and alcohol, yet somehow not mature enough to visit a doctor...
My 25-year-old cousin is a perfect example. She’s never stepped foot in an OB-GYN office, despite having menstrual issues for years. Sometimes her period skips months entirely, and then she ends up bleeding every two weeks. We can’t get through to her about getting a checkup. And her mother thinks it’s unnecessary... they live in a tiny town where the mom is always worried about what the neighbors will say if people find out a 25-year-old woman is seeing a specialist. 🙄

What’s even more reckless than skipping the doctor is when girls start taking birth control pills using a friend's prescription. A friend lends them a script, they buy the pills, and they bypass everything—no doctor visits, no blood work, no liver function tests, no clotting checks... and unfortunately, we’ve seen cases where this ends tragically. 😢

For instance, a 24-year-old friend of mine had never been to a gynecologist. Last year, she started taking the pill. I refused to give her my prescription—which probably made me look like a total jerk, but I couldn't justify it—so instead, another friend just handed over hers. She started the pills on the first day of her cycle, and the bleeding just wouldn't stop for 45 days straight. 😲She was so incapacitated by the pain that she couldn't even get out of bed for about ten days. Her boyfriend and I went to stay with her and begged her to see a professional. I actually managed to book an appointment for her with my own doctor, but should I even mention that she completely blew it off? 🙄And of course, there are the typical excuses... "Well, some people take them just fine, surely this will pass eventually..."

Honestly, what disgusts me most isn't even the fact that teenagers might do this without supervision; it's that grown women, who should have at least a grain of common sense, are doing the exact same thing...

Sarah Morris57 said:A Sephora bag? I honestly can't believe you don't have anything at all to hide them in. I once got one of those little cardboard sleeves with mine—they were just big enough to fit everything inside, and since there was nothing written on the outside, you could tuck it anywhere, whether it's in your purse, your makeup bag, or even a pencil case.

Well, they fit perfectly fine in my wallet. Honestly, if they happen to see them, what am I supposed to do?
The other day I was digging through my wallet looking for cash and couldn't find it, so maybe they won't find them either.
If there's one thing I can say, it's that having parents that strict just isn't easy. I spend every single weekend over at my boyfriend's place, and of course, they never have a clue I was even there, because they forbid me from going and things like that... without any actual reasoning, naturally.
And oh, I finally got my prescription; I need to start taking them this week, so hopefully, I won't be turning into an old man or woman anytime soon. 🙄

Megan Collins86 said:I can think of plenty of friends and relatives who fit this mold—old enough to handle sex, cigarettes, and cocktails, yet somehow too "immature" to visit an OB-GYN...
My own cousin is 25 and has never stepped foot in a doctor's office for a checkup; she’s been dealing with irregular periods for years—sometimes going months without one, then bleeding every two weeks—and we just can't talk her into getting an exam. And her mother thinks it's totally unnecessary (they live in a tiny small town, and Mom is always like, "What will the neighbors say?" if people find out a 25-year-old woman actually went to a doctor)🙄

What’s even more terrifying than skipping the checkups is when they start using their friends' prescriptions for birth control! A friend lends them a script, they go buy the pills, and they do all of this without ever seeing a specialist, running blood work, checking liver enzymes, or testing their blood clotting factors... and then, unfortunately, we see examples of girls who end up facing tragic consequences😢

For instance—a friend of mine, 24 years old, never been to an OB-GYN, started taking pills last year (I refused to give her my prescription, so I felt like a total jerk, but then another friend gave her hers instead). She started the pills on the first day of her period, and then she bled continuously for 45 days straight😲 For about ten of those days, she couldn't even get out of bed because of the pain. Her boyfriend and I stayed with her, begging her to see a doctor, and I eventually booked her an appointment with my own physician—should I even mention that, of course, she didn't go?🙄 And then come the ridiculous excuses: "Well, someone else handles them just fine, surely it'll pass eventually..."

Honestly, what disgusts me most isn't just that some kids are taking pills without supervision, but that grown women—who should have at least a grain of common sense—are doing the exact same thing...

When it comes to birth control, they have no one to blame but themselves; it's not about whether you've had a checkup. I got my prescription from my primary care doctor, who sent me for blood work, clotting tests, everything... and honestly, that's not a big ask for anyone😲
I would never take something on my own just because everyone else is doing it—never...

Most of my friends only ended up getting a prescription for birth control from their OB-GYN once they actually brought it up themselves; the doctors didn't even bother suggesting blood work or anything similar in the first place. In my case, though, mine actually asked if I was interested, so I just said yes.
It really goes to show that in certain situations, even medical professionals might decide that running blood tests is just unnecessary...🙄

silverlynx74 said:Most of my friends just got their birth control prescriptions from their OB-GYN as soon as they showed up. They weren't even asked to get blood work done or anything like that. My doctor actually asked if I wanted them, so I just said yes.
So, it turns out there are cases where doctors themselves just decide blood tests aren't necessary...🙄

It's true, I've heard that from plenty of friends. My own doctor told me to come in with all my test results first, and only then would they decide whether or not to prescribe the pills.
But the reality is, it's irresponsible on both sides—both the doctors and the women who just grab prescriptions based on what their friends are taking...

Listen, I’m telling all you ladies out there: please, for the love of everything, don't skip your gynecologist appointments. Especially if you're sexually active. I'm pushing 50 myself, and I make sure I go for my checkups regularly. I actually just went the other day, and ugh, let me tell you, having some guy staring right at my business while he yawns... it's awkward! Honestly, it passes pretty quickly though. He sees it every single day, so I just try to power through it. It's always easiest when I can just sit down, but seriously—pick a male doctor. A female gynecologist is just a total nightmare for me; I tried it once and I am never, ever doing that again. Just have your boyfriend come along, or if you're younger, have your son go with his girlfriend, it makes the whole thing way easier.☕The exam itself, like getting a Pap smear? It doesn't even hurt. You just really need to relax and distract yourself by thinking about something else entirely.👍

Carol Scott98 said:If you're happy with your doctor, who cares if they aren't part of a massive private network? My physician is fantastic—I can be completely open with him about everything, and I don't have to worry about extra fees. 😍

Since she works at the hospital (the maternity ward),😁I can't make it there for an appointment. And honestly, if it were free? Man, I'd be showing up every two months!🤣.

You know that feeling when you just click with someone? It’s rare. Now, imagine having to start the whole search over from scratch. Honestly, I wouldn't mind at all if I could just find an amazing social worker. I really don't care about long wait times or even a run-down office—I'm not exactly looking for luxury. I don't care if the exam chair has those old-school footrests, either. But man, it feels like nobody worth seeing in Washington, D.C. is taking new patients. It seems like almost everyone is closed off, including the ones who would actually accept my insurance, which is the last thing I want to deal with.🤷.

And honestly, I feel like he’s going to be the death of me.