Personal Top Lists & Rankings

David Sullivan4 said:Where are the legends at? Where's Elvis, where's Prince, where's Aretha, where's Stevie, where's Madonna? Where's Cher? Where's George Strait? Where's Taylor Swift? And seriously, who even is Taylor Swift?

I just wasn't really in a partying mood, honestly...

raliSHA said:But then I remembered another one: when I charged full speed into the ocean and slammed straight into the only sea cave on a 200m stretch of beach 🙏 🙏

Maui. Ribafish was teaching geography, so ar Pekka and I decided to drop by. The host asked if we could help him pour some concrete for a little pier, but we both just dodged him and went for a swim instead. We hit the water in our usual styles: he goes in inch by inch through the shallows, while I go for the classic dive off the pier (which, according to anyone who actually knows me, is always freaking hilarious, though I’ve never seen myself do it so I can't really judge). Without goggles, standing on a coastline I don't know, obviously, I can't see a damn thing.
ar Pekka: - You sure it's deep enough?
stormyviper11: - Of course.
The jump. Pure elegance. Poseidon himself parting the waves... the graceful fusion of man... the sea... and underwater rocks.
stormyviper11 (surfacing): - Uh. Not deep enough.
For two months straight, I had three parallel vertical stripes running from my shoulders down to my gut. Luckily, my buddy's sheer bulk acted as a better natural barrier than the Rocky Mountains, so the more sensitive parts of me underneath him didn't even get a chance to touch the rocks.

Nicholas Perez33 said:Weekly audio stats—time to check in:

1 The Birthday Party 80

Hey man 😍

I'm not going to single anyone out, but 🤣 🙂 🤣

This actually tops my legendary wipeout where I fell off my rollerblades while standing perfectly upright. I managed to flip myself without even falling while just doing some light stretching. I was stretching my neck, felt something snap, and now I can't turn my head and I'm stuck wearing a cervical collar... 😢

Seriously, give me an award for the most moronic way to get injured. 🙂

I absolutely hate those moments when you've been lying on your arm for too long, and the circulation just cuts off, leaving your whole limb feeling completely numb 😠

Here is the absolute best thing someone just told me:

1. A massive headache in the works.

Now I need to come up with a plan.

Nicholas Perez33 said:I hate when you lay on your arm and cut off the circulation until it goes numb😠

Yeah, that moment in the morning where you wonder what kind of ice-cold corpse is sleeping next to you, only to realize it’s just your own hand. Ideally, you've already punched it against the wall before realizing.

But this is way worse... I'm gonna be walking around like my door is stuck shut for a week. And it hurts. 🙂

Carol Jackson45 said:This is just terrible... I'm going to be walking with this door brace for a week. And it hurts. 🙂

How do you manage to act like such a tough guy while breaking bones and crushing tissue at a rate that makes Alex Rogers91, stormyviper11, and Bear look like amateurs?!

Nicholas Perez33 said:I hate it when you lay on your arm and the blood flow just cuts off, and then the whole thing goes totally numb😠

Man, I manage to do that to my leg sometimes—like, my entire leg!😬

Count me in.
I ended up smashing my front tooth at a pool during some late-night swimming out in Appalachia.
The guy who did it was some local idiot with zero coordination.
😬
Honestly, I thought I’d cracked my entire jaw.

Carol Jackson45 said:This actually tops the legendary story of falling off a roller skate while standing upright: I managed to pull a somersault this morning without even falling—and in my sleep, no less. I was stretching my neck, something just went "pop," and now I can't turn my head and I'm stuck wearing a neck brace... 😢

I’d like to nominate this for the Grand Prix of most ridiculous ways to get injured. 🙂

I have an even stupider one.

One morning, I woke up, turned toward the wall, and slammed my head into it with everything I had.

Drew Adams58 said:I've definitely done stupider things.

Once, I woke up, turned toward the wall, and slammed my head into it with everything I had.

That's basically my daily routine. 😳

Carol Jackson45 said:This officially tops that legendary moment of falling off a bike while sitting upright—I managed to pull a muscle this morning without even falling while half-asleep. Just stretching my neck, something went *pop*, and now I can’t turn my head and I'm stuck in a cervical collar... 😢

Please, nominate me for the Grand Prix of most idiotic ways to get injured. 🙂

Huh?
I once jerked my neck so hard in my sleep that I actually had to hit up an urgent care for a nerve shot—but THIS 😵

and it isn't even Tuesday yet...🙂

Drew Adams58 said:I have an even stupider one

I once woke up, turned toward the wall, and slammed my head into it with everything I had.

It only counts if there was blood involved—or at least a concussion. 😬

Daniel Bailey7 said:Wait, what?
I once twisted my neck so badly in a dream that I actually had to hit up the ER for a painkiller shot because of a pinched nerve, but THIS 😵

and it isn't even Tuesday yet...🙂

Does it only count if you were bleeding? Or at least suffered a concussion? 😬

If you read a few posts back, I think we agreed that landing hard on the asphalt counts as one of the most basic injuries out there.

Drew Adams58 said:Read a few posts up the thread—I'm pretty sure taking a direct hit to the pavement counts as one of the most blunt injuries you can get.

My comment was actually referring to the latter part 😉

I'm not saying an "asphalt backside" isn't an interesting concept in its own right 😁

Narantxa said:I hate it when you sleep on your arm and cut off the circulation. Your hand just goes completely numb. It's the worst. 😠

I was just lying there with both my hands tucked under me when they both went completely numb. I couldn't even use my good hand to fix the dead ones. It was a totally freaky sensation—felt like I just had two heavy rubber tires hanging off my shoulders. 😁

Carol Jackson45, I honestly don't know. I really don't know what to say... I just don't. 😢

Daniel Bailey7 said:Wait, what?
I actually jerked my neck so hard in my sleep once that I had to hit up the ER just to get a shot for a pinched nerve.

Yeah, that’s happened to me twice now.😢

I’ve had my testicles go numb on me a few times now, if you know what I mean. It’s a pretty bizarre sensation.

n/a - just come over

bonus track - sticking with Banjanin

A friend of mine got a new mattress last summer, but it was so uncomfortable she actually slept on the floor—total legend status right there. Of course, a draft caught her in the middle of the night, her neck seized up, and she spent three days walking around with her head tilted sideways because she couldn't move it. Her doctor practically died laughing when she saw her.

edit: check out 👋 😍