Under 30

TsunamiGirl said:Supposedly, female fertility starts to dip after age 27 or 28—purely biological.

I heard it on an Oprah segment once, though I assume their production teams actually vet their research before filming.

I don't worry about external factors. I look at biology. If fertility drops off after 30, we all need to hurry up...

It’s easy for guys, though. They can be dads even at 70...🙂

Since I follow this data closely and work as a Urologist myself,
"guys" are increasingly facing infertility issues; regardless, sperm quality is significantly lower compared to twenty years ago.
There are several factors—people aren't sticking to healthy lifestyles, diets, or they're drinking too much... but stress seems to be the biggest culprit.
Again, there will be variations between different groups of men, but those are just averages.

One thing that bothers me, especially on this health forum, is that people shouldn't write extensively about illnesses without warning others. I know firsthand what I went through between ages 40 and 62... and I know which topics require a heads-up.

While you women discuss everything and have plenty of subjects here, very few men are involved or looking to understand their own health needs and the necessity of medical or clinical checkups before it's too late.

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Kimberly Ward
If it’s actually true that women need to have their first baby before thirty—especially for their own health—then I am officially spiraling. I turn thirty in just a month (yikes, even saying that out loud feels heavy...), and apparently, that window is supposedly closing for me. If that’s really how it works... I just hope it won't be too late if I wait a bit longer....

I honestly haven't heard a single thing about that rule before 😕

I’ve got two examples for you—both late pregnancies, both after thirty. Both ended with a happy outcome.

1) Back when someone was 33, they gave birth; she worked right up until her very last day, somewhere around the 80s—you know, old school—and it ended in a C-section. The pregnancy itself was totally smooth sailing the whole time.
2) Then there was a case at age 35, where the mother was already on maternity leave and carrying really low. She had some bleeding in the 8th month, and the baby was born premature—spent a few days in an incubator, modern times, 21st century style.

Honestly, I think it all just comes down to the individual, but genetics play the biggest role.

Honestly, every woman should just decide for herself when she’s ready to have a baby. There’s really nothing to stress about, I guess. It doesn't mean anything, and women are totally having kids in their forties and beyond all the time now.

stormylnx14 said:The reality is, we’re seeing more and more women putting their careers above everything else, grinding away until they hit 40. Then, suddenly, it hits them—that realization that money isn't actually the end-all, be-all, and they suddenly have this intense craving to be a mother. And honestly? That’s exactly when the real chaos begins.

Yeah, I get it... honestly, for a lot of women out there, their career isn't exactly the center of the universe. They’ve got their own reasons for that, and look, I’m one of them. Besides, Vicky already told you—it's not even about that.

Jamie Clark74 said:It doesn't even have to be about their career. I mean, people come up with reasons like they're writing a damn novel. Honestly, thinking like this? It’s just not going to make life any easier for them. Not one bit.

stormylnx14 said:Looking back at everything we know now? Honestly, if my wife and I were starting out today at 27 or 28, I’d be pushing for fertility testing right away. No hesitation. If there was even the slightest hint that things might get tricky down the road, we wouldn't just wait around—we'd jump straight into treatment. And if that didn't work fast enough? We'd escalate the whole process immediately. Why play the waiting game when you don't have to?

So, how does one even go about testing for fertility? Like, what’s the actual process? I mean, who am I even supposed to talk to? My doctor right now isn't exactly up to speed—she can barely manage a basic checkup, let alone dive into something this deep. And honestly, if I actually bring it up to her... who knows how she'll take it? Probably won't be pretty.
That’s exactly what I’m getting at here. It's the same thing that's bugging me about you, too. Honestly? I'd love to hear your "expert advice" on whether I should actually step up and do something about this before it's too late. Should I be making a move now, or what?
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Ashley Watson, look, there is absolutely nothing else you can do besides keeping an eye on your own body. I mean, seriously, if your period is coming in on time, you’re ovulating—which you can easily verify with your OBGYN—and you're staying on top of your hormones while keeping yourself in decent shape, you know, not letting yourself go and actually working out, then you're doing your part. Just make sure you're getting those regular Pap smears and being smart enough to avoid any STIs. If you have a guy in the picture, all you can really do for him is send him off for a semen analysis and call it a day for preventative care. Beyond that, everything else is just down to luck and whatever life throws at you.😉

medeja said:I don't want to scare anyone off, but I think it’s worth sharing what I went through:
first pregnancy at 29, totally smooth sailing
second one at 33, had to be on strict bed rest for the last two months
third at 36, ended in a miscarriage after two months
fourth at 37, spent months on total bed rest

My mom actually had her first baby at 33... then her second at 36.

She always tells me she never felt better than when she was pregnant... though she did say that second delivery was over in like an hour flat.

You really can't just generalize everything based on one person's story. 🙂

Jamie Clark74 said:And let me tell you, if the woman is older, the chances of conceiving just drop—your own father would probably tell you the same thing!

Sure, the odds might be lower, but it’s definitely not impossible!

If women suddenly became infertile right after turning 30, then yeah, I’d get why everyone’s in such a massive rush, but I don't see any reason to panic like this. You just have to put in a little more effort, I guess. 🙂 😁

restlessmarlin6 said:It’s lower, sure, but definitely not impossible!

If women became infertile right after turning 30, I’d understand the rush, but I don't see much reason to panic. You just have to put in a little more effort. 🙂 😁

I mentioned that my wife had her first child at 26...
her second was at 37, which was planned, and we had zero issues conceiving—and that was thirty years ago.

My point was that 42 might be pushing it a bit. I know fertility treatments and delivery methods have evolved and improved significantly...
but there is still a difference between a woman in her early 30s and one over 40. Of course, there will always be outliers, like someone struggling at 25.

It isn't just about women, either. Male fertility isn't perfect across the board, and we're seeing a sharp decline in fertility among younger men lately. Compared to guys in their sixties, the gap isn't actually that huge.

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Let’s take a trip down memory lane.

On July 18, 1994, Riccardo della Corte was born in Italy!

So, what’s the story?

His mother actually set a record at the time for being one of the oldest women to give birth, conceiving at age 62. That was just ten years ago.

The son is now 10, making her 72.
The motivation to have a child came from a place of deep grief after losing her 17-year-old son in a motorcycle accident.

She was devastated, especially since she had hoped to see grandchildren soon.
They looked into adoption, but according to the law, they were considered too old.

Six months after her son passed, she met Professor SeverinoAntinori, a scientist involved in some pretty controversial cloning research.
Rosanna was on hormone therapy, and the professor used an egg from another woman, which was then fertilized with her husband's sperm—he was 64 at the time.

It took two years to finally get it right. She went through six failed treatments and one miscarriage before they finally succeeded.
She mentioned that even after the eighth attempt didn't work, she still wanted to keep trying.
Rosanna says she felt like she was in her 20s again.

The point is, it’s never too late.

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Keep your heads up, ladies.
Sure, medicine has its limits where people start labeling things as "old news," but we’re seeing more and more of these cases lately.
If you ask me, it all comes down to genetics—or what people like to call "individual luck."
You see so many young women facing high-risk pregnancies, yet there are just as many others who breeze through it without a single hiccup.
Take my colleague's daughter, for instance; she didn't delay because of her career, she just hadn't found the right partner yet, and she ended up giving birth at 37. Everything went smoothly, from the pregnancy to the delivery, and now the little guy is already starting first grade.
On the flip side, a close friend of my daughter finally managed to conceive for the first time at 42 or 43. Naturally, her doctors are monitoring her way more intensely than they would someone ten years younger, and we’re all crossing our fingers for her.
But really, why should anyone give up the joy of motherhood just because they're a few years late to the game?

restlessmarlin6 said:My mother had her first child at 33 (twenty-two years ago), then her second at 36.

Sure, sure. And it goes on forever. Everyone knows some woman who got pregnant in her late thirties, so it seems like no big deal. But I attended an infertility seminar once—specifically for people dealing with those issues. The main auditorium at a major university in Boston was packed to capacity; people were sitting on the stairs. That kind of sight changes your perspective.

restlessmarlin6 said:Don't generalize.🙂

Exactly. You can't generalize and assume that just because a neighbor at 38 could conceive, you will too. Look at the statistics instead: roughly one in six couples—some data even suggests one in five—cannot conceive naturally. At that seminar, they showed the success rates for that specific clinic; for years, it climbed toward nearly 50%. Keep in mind, that means half the couples leave without a child even after various rounds of IVF. Recently, those numbers have plateaued or even begun to dip. You hit the nail on the head: patients are getting older on average.

I find this overall casual attitude toward the issue quite dismissive. It’s easy to be nonchalant when having children isn't your primary life goal, but through sheer coincidence, I've met plenty of people who faced devastating disillusionment and deep crises because of it. The statistical likelihood of this happening is far from negligible. What do you think the odds are of getting into a car wreck? Low, right? Yet, anyone with the money ensures their vehicle is loaded with ten airbags, ABS, traction control—every modern safety feature available. Some even bother with seatbelts. But when we're talking about something that will affect one in five (!) of us, we somehow convince ourselves we'll just "handle it." It's as if, upon getting into a car, we simply remember our neighbor Stefek surviving a head-on collision in his Ford and decide we don't need seatbelts.

stormylynx14, I’ve seen similar data myself, but I hesitate to speak up. There’s always someone jumping in to say "everything will be just fine." Honestly, the way Americans view their health is pretty tragic. Every time I try to share actual facts or more detailed information—the kind of stuff people claim they want—I end up getting told not to post links or being criticized for sharing them.

You can offer so many warnings and try to educate people... but you just can't
force them. People just don't want to hear the truth or take a warning from someone who has actually been through it or understands what comes with aging.

Anyway, why am I even bothering with this nonsense?

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Look, I’ve spent years fighting through infertility battles, and honestly, I’ve met so many people going through the exact same thing. But even all that experience doesn't change the fact that you can't force people to take action if they aren't mentally ready to deal with it. Sure, obviously starting earlier is better, but we live in an era where plenty of people just wait until much later to actually do something about it. And what do you want me to do, go around lecturing them and telling them they're doomed because they're "too old"? That's nonsense. My ex was dealing with fertility issues way before he even hit his 30s, and I’ve met countless people in their early 20s who are already struggling with these same hurdles, so there really is no set rule here. It really just comes down to how much time you have left to try different medical interventions and see what works.

One shouldn't make broad generalizations.

Of course you shouldn't. My grandmother had seventeen children, but I suppose that doesn't mean everyone else will have that many. For all we know, some people might not have any at all.

It’s not like she has to give birth right away; she can wait, but I guess it just gets a bit more complicated with every year that passes.

Ashley Watson said:If it’s actually true that women need to have their first kid before thirty—especially for their own health—then I am officially freaking out. I turn thirty in a month (ugh, even saying that makes me cringe), and apparently, that "rule" won't apply to me anymore. If this is all real... I just hope it won't be too late for me later on....

Ashley, don't spiral. It's not some absolute truth, and you aren't going to miss your window. 🙂

I mean, let's be real, infertility issues often have nothing to do with age (even if there's a connection sometimes). Honestly, because of how people live nowadays, you see more and more women having their first baby in their late thirties, and everything turns out perfectly fine.

stormylynx14,

Okay, let's look at this logically.
I’m 22 years old and dealing with PCOS. A whole bunch of doctors keep telling me, "Pregnancy is the cure, you should try to conceive as soon as possible." So, what they're basically saying is that without treatment, it's going to be harder for me to get pregnant than the average woman, and that those odds are just going to get worse as I age. But what am I supposed to do with that information? Do they think because I'm 22, I suddenly have my entire life figured out—like, maybe I've got the dream career, a stable house, a partner who's ready to be a dad, and my head is totally sorted? Like, oh, I should just drop everything and have a baby right now just because? God, give me a break.

I haven't even finished college yet. I don't have a steady job, and there isn't even a person in sight that I actually want to start a family with. So, what then? Am I supposed to just rush into the first thing that comes along and have a kid in a few years just because I might struggle to do it later? Or am I just supposed to listen to doctors telling me that pregnancy would somehow "benefit" my body?

Maybe one day I'll have to deal with the struggle of trying to conceive, but honestly, it could just happen easily on the first try too. And if the absolute worst happens? I'd consider adoption. Look... I don't want to dwell on the worst-case scenarios, really. That's like refusing to leave the house just because there's a tiny chance a car might hit you. Yeah, no, that's stupid.

Don't worry, there's no need to panic or feel down!!!

Times have definitely changed. I have a friend who had her first baby at 39, and then just two weeks ago, she gave birth again at 41. That makes five total!!!👍