Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Melissa Morgan67 said:breast cancer
p.s. so you're saying there's no chance for a survival rate higher than five years?

Where are these grim predictions and prophecies even coming from?
Ultimately, God is the one in control of life and death.

My dear friends,
we really have some wonderful resources at our fingertips, like the pages hosted by the For a New Day association. I have to give credit where it's due—the moderators there have done a beautiful job making sure everything is clearly explained, much like this forum itself...
Angela Wright, our resident fighter, along with the others, works incredibly hard to provide quick, helpful support to everyone here. I also want to give a special shout-out to the oncologist, James Reed; the speed at which he responds with such profound, expert insights is truly impressive. I suspect many of you feel the same way I do.
http://www.foranewday.org/
Warmly,

Melissa Morgan67 said:breast cancer
p.s. so you're saying there's zero chance of surviving longer than 5 years?

Look, according to the American Cancer Society, the five-year survival rate for localized breast cancer is actually sitting at 98%. If we're talking about cases where it's spread to the chest wall or lymph nodes, that rate drops to about 80%—and even then, at least a quarter of patients with metastatic breast cancer still go on to survive five years or more.

One thing to keep in mind—though it’s tough to hear—is that survival rates for women under 40 tend to be slightly lower compared to older patients. It basically comes down to the fact that the cancer tends to be more aggressive in younger women. Generally speaking, women over 40 see about a 7% boost in survival odds compared to those under 40.

US stats here:
http://FastFreeFileHosting.com/file/...st-12-pdf.html

Stages:
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms...is/staging.jsp

So, if we're looking at stage three, you're looking at roughly 75 to 80 out of 100 patients surviving five years. Of course—and this is a huge "of course"—if it hasn't spread to distant organs by then, those chances drop off a cliff (check the table for details).

I used that "75" number on purpose, too—because let's be real, knowing how our healthcare system operates here, those odds can feel even slimmer.

velvetfalcon44 said:According to the American Cancer Society, the five-year survival rate for localized breast cancer sits at 98%. If it has spread to the chest wall or lymph nodes, that rate drops to 80%, and at least a quarter of patients facing metastatic breast cancer will survive five years or longer.

Survival rates for women under 40 are slightly lower than they are for older patients. The reason is simple: younger women tend to develop more aggressive forms of the disease. Generally, women over 40 see about a 7% bump in survival odds compared to those under 40.

US Statistics
http://FastFreeFileHosting.com/file/...st-12-pdf.html

Stages
http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms...is/staging.jsp

So, looking at stage three, roughly 75 to 80 out of every 100 patients will survive five years. Of course, that assumes it hasn't spread to other organs; if it has, the chances plummet—just look at the chart.

I used the number 75 intentionally because, knowing how our healthcare system operates here, the actual survival probability likely dips even lower.

Now that you've read what velvetfalcon44 had to say, go ahead and read how things actually stand...consider it a disclaimer or perhaps a much more accurate interpretation of the facts.

I’m jumping into this thread. My mom has melanoma—she had surgery about a year ago, and we just got her PET scan results back. There’s something there, but I don't know what yet... I'm still holding onto hope, so I won't get into the gritty details right now. Look, this thread is supposed to be a support system for patients and their families. It is absolutely WRONG for these self-proclaimed "experts" to go around copy-pasting life expectancy statistics from the internet for specific cases, just like velvetfalcon44 did. Where do you get the nerve??😠 We are talking about real human lives here, not some damn math equation or statistic..

Hi everyone. I should probably start by apologizing; I wasn't even aware a community like this existed, and I'm still trying to figure out if I truly belong here. My father passed away on March 25th of this year from cancer... specifically Colangio Carcin, which he was diagnosed with two years ago. We went through everything... the endless cycle of paying out-of-pocket for medications because Medicare wouldn't cover them since they claim there’s no standard treatment for this specific type... the standard chemotherapy sessions... herbal supplements... vitamins... maintaining a strict diet... managing thrombosis... all the CT scans of the abdomen and lungs... monitoring white blood cell counts and platelets... They kept him going until Christmas 2008, but he lived until March... and the way he left us... it was with such an unprecedented speed that no one believed it... certainly not me. On Sunday, he stopped eating, yet he was still walking. By Monday, he was bedridden and struggling to breathe. By Wednesday evening, he was gone. I am reaching out to this forum because I have firsthand experience with this "demon"... perhaps I can offer some guidance to someone else. If I had known about this group back in 2007, maybe I wouldn't have spent so much time fighting my way through medical bureaucracy alongside my mother. But now, I am here to help if I can. There is also a much more pressing question for me: what comes next? How do you move forward? What happens to those of us left behind who are expected to just keep living? It has been four months since his death and I am at a loss... I know how to read lab results, I know which specialists to visit, I know where to source medications, supplies, health foods, bile bags... I know how to watch for jaundice... I know how to monitor symptoms... but I don't know how to exist now that the caretaking is over. Does anyone here understand? How do you live with this knowledge? Please forgive me if my sharing brings sadness to anyone; that isn't my intention... I simply need an answer.

thanks
I'm still having a hard time processing everything

My heart really goes out to everyone here—my dad went through the exact same thing about a year and three months ago,
We tried absolutely everything you can imagine, so I won't even get into the list... But honestly, the statistics are brutal. You can try to ignore them all you want, but that doesn't change the reality of what we're facing—especially since our healthcare system can be so incredibly cold and unforgiving, not to mention the rest of it.
If you ask me, the best way to handle this is to just face the facts, know exactly where you stand, and go from there.

I don't know what to say about losing someone close to you. People say time heals, but let’s be real—it never truly heals the wound.
On top of the grief, you're often left with this bitter taste in your mouth because of how the medical system works—those doctors and nurses who just seem totally indifferent.
My personal philosophy is to take that grief from losing a loved one and try to channel it into some kind of positive energy.
Holding onto that sadness isn't healthy—it's been my observation that people who bottle up that kind of grief are actually more susceptible to things like cancer.
I also wanted to mention that when it comes to prevention, antioxidants (like lycopene and beta-carotene) play such a massive role in neutralizing free radicals, which is huge when it comes to preventing various diseases.
If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that health is worth every penny—don't skimp on it, because prevention is everything.

I've honestly had enough of all this

Melissa Morgan67 said:I'm just totally over all of this

Look, I haven't been scrolling through your old posts, so I don't really know if you've been posting before this or what—just seeing this stuff from the last few days, so I'm not sure who we're even talking about here. Is this about you personally or someone close to you?
Whatever it is, listen: in medicine, two plus two doesn't always equal four. Just keep that in your head. My husband was given maybe a month or two to live, and here he is, still kicking in year five, and more importantly, she's doing great. The disease is actually regressing.
Don't even bother stressing over those prognoses, because there aren't any hard rules. Every single person is different, every cancer is its own beast, and everyone reacts to treatment in their own way. It’s simple: there are no rules, no guaranteed predictions. Just take it one day at a time and try to find some joy in every new morning.

Hey everyone.
I’m posting here because, honestly, it feels like the world is just totally upside down right now and nothing makes sense...
Even though all my medical tests say I'm physically and mentally fine (aside from some Candida, which my doctors don't think is a big deal), I’ve dropped from 175 to 120 lbs in two years. I have zero energy. Walking to the next block feels like trekking across the entire USA.
The weight keeps dropping. I eat normally—actually, I eat more than usual—except when I feel really sick and skip a meal or two out of my five daily ones. I'm just trying to pull through; I've got a little kid who needs their mom...
How do I actually put on weight? Because of the Candida, I can't touch sugar, yeast, white flour, or wheat, and I have to cut back on meat...
If I eat the "forbidden" stuff, I feel terrible. But if I stick to veggies, how am I supposed to gain anything?
Once I hit a 5-pound gain, I'm throwing a party. And once I get back to 132... man, I'll be the happiest person alive.
I'm getting zero support from anyone. They just tell me "it's all in your head," but my psychiatrist says the toxins from the Candida are wrecking my body and that my mental health is actually fine.
Sending huge hugs to you all. We can get through this together...
:O[]

Lisa White54@ I posted here about a month ago, but I honestly just lost the nerve to keep going. Reading all these stories about people passing away... it just hit me way too hard and sent me into a spiral.
It’s about someone very close to me.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words... I’m keeping my fingers crossed for those currently in the thick of the fight. If there is any way I can be of assistance... I am here.

goldenharbor42 said:Hi everyone!
I decided to join this group because, much like all of you, I feel like the world is a bit of a chaotic mess right now, where nothing seems to follow any predictable rules...
Despite my medical results showing that I am physically and mentally healthy (aside from some Candida issues, which my doctors don't consider a major concern!), I have dropped from 175 lbs down to 120 lbs over the last two years. I have absolutely no energy left; walking up a single flight of stairs feels like trekking across the entire USA.
The weight is still dropping. I eat normally—actually, I eat quite a lot—except on days when I feel terrible, in which case I might skip a meal or two out of my usual five. I’m holding onto hope that I can pull through; I have a little one who really needs their mom...
How can I actually put on weight? Because of the Candida, I have to avoid sugar, yeast, white flour (wheat), and even meat is being limited...
If I eat things I'm not supposed to, I feel weak; if I stick to vegetables, how am I ever going to gain weight?
Once I manage to gain 2 lbs, I’m throwing a party, and once I hit 132 lbs... I truly couldn't be happier!
I haven't received much support from anyone... they just tell me "it's all in your head," yet my psychiatrist insists that Candida toxins have a massive impact on the body and that my mental health is perfectly fine.
Sending big hugs to everyone; we can turn any situation around if we work together...
:O[]

Hang in there—I'm rooting for you, and I'll definitely be celebrating with you once you reach 132 lbs... stay positive... I actually managed to talk my dad into doing it... you can too... just stay persistent... sending you a huge hug!

Melissa Morgan67 said:Lisa White54@ I posted here about a month ago, but I honestly just lost my nerve. Reading through all the stories about people passing away... it just dragged me under even deeper.
it’s someone very close to me.

...we aren't alone in this. As you know, there's strength in numbers if we stick together. I truly believe that. Finding this forum and being able to trade thoughts with people who actually get it has already made a difference. At least right now, in this specific moment, I feel a bit better. Someone reached out. Someone answered. And knowing I’m not standing in this by myself... that means everything. It really does.

Lisa White54 said:I haven't gone back through your older posts, so I'm not sure if you've mentioned this before or who exactly we're talking about. Are you speaking from your own experience, or is this someone close to you?
Regardless, in medicine, two plus two doesn't always equal four. You really have to keep that in mind. When my husband was diagnosed, the doctors gave him maybe a month or two, yet here he is, five years later, and more importantly, she is doing well. The disease is in regression.
Don't let the prognoses get inside your head; there aren't any universal rules. Every person is an individual, every cancer behaves differently, and everyone responds to treatment in their own unique way. There are no guarantees and no set formulas. Just live for each new day and find joy in every single one of them.

I had a very similar experience. They told my father he wouldn't make it past Christmas, but he ended up living five months longer than expected... and when you're a small family, those extra months mean everything. Don't dwell on the worst-case scenarios. Just keep fighting and don't lose heart.

Melissa Morgan67 said:Lisa White54@ said earlier, maybe like a month ago in this thread, but I just lost my nerve because reading about people dying sent me "even deeper" into a hole
this is about someone really close to me

Look, I get it. It’s brutal. There are plenty of times I find myself stuck in that exact same spot—just feeling completely drained, wanting nothing more than to just sit there and sob, wondering why this mess had to land on our doorstep specifically..
Crises hit, then they pass. It's like weather; you get the storms and then the sun breaks through.
Things will look better tomorrow, seriously. Don't let it break you. People die from everything under the sun. Who can actually guarantee they'll even wake up tomorrow morning? You can't spend your life staring down death. Just fight for every single day you've got.
Pull yourself out of that funk and keep swinging.

Lisa White54 said:I know how much this hurts. I've been there more times than I can count, just feeling completely drained, wanting to break down and cry, wondering why life decided to hit us this hard...
Crises come and go. It’s just the way things roll, good days and bad ones following one after the other.
Things will get better, trust me, so don't let them break you. People die from everything under the sun. Who’s really sure they’ll even wake up tomorrow? You can't spend your time dwelling on death. You have to fight for every single day you get.
Just pull yourself out of that hole and keep swinging.

Preach!

I haven't had the energy to post lately because everything has just been hitting me all at once, making me wonder why life has to be such a brutal bitch sometimes. My dad's been in the hospital for a week now. The cancer spread to his brain, liver, kidneys... it's bad, really bad. He's lost movement on the left side of his body, he struggles to talk, and he gets disoriented...
The whole situation is heavy enough as it is, but before we finally got him settled into the hospital, I can't even begin to tell you what we went through with the doctors back at the local clinic—or rather, those people who shouldn't even be allowed near a white coat. It’s too painful to talk about right now... maybe someday... (once I've had my fill of getting even with certain doctors). Thank God we eventually ran into an oncologist who actually gave a damn and fought to get him admitted for treatment.
You only get one life, no matter how messy it gets. Mine is still the best one because I had a father unlike most. He shaped me into the person I am today. He poured everything he had into teaching me how to tell right from wrong. Dad, I love you.

Melissa Morgan67 said:Lisa White54 wrote earlier, maybe about a month ago in this thread, but I just lost the strength to keep posting because reading about people passing away just pulled me even deeper into the dark
it’s someone close to me

It’s a harsh reality that some of our fighters fall along the way. But the mark they leave on us is permanent. Everything they stood for—how they lived, what they loved, and most importantly, how much they cared for us—that should be the fuel that keeps us moving forward. We have to carry ourselves with pride, knowing we were lucky enough to have known them and loved them.

Some of those of us left behind will pick up their fight, doing what they did to help others and find our own healing. Others might try to chase down those private dreams that were supposed to be shared together. But regardless of the path, we all need to remember one thing: our heroes wouldn't want to see us sink. Love and grief stay etched in our hearts forever. Having that faith—that sense of hope that they’re watching over us from somewhere better—is what gets us through the hardest days.

Hey everyone,
A few months back, I stumbled upon this forum and then found several others just like it. I’ve read through every single post from start to finish. Now, my daily routine involves checking in on you all and seeing how your loved ones are doing, whether it’s first thing in the morning or right after I get home from work. My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer back in 2002; she passed away last year, though they officially said it was old age at 89 (her surgeon was actually quite certain the cancer wouldn't be what took her, given her other health issues and age...). I miss her terribly; she was the one who raised me. That was the only time cancer ever touched my family, and I truly hope it remains the last.
I just wanted to let you know that I’m standing with you. You’re constantly on my mind. Over time, I’ve built up this mental picture of all of you—those who have been here since the beginning—and I honestly admire the sheer bravery you show while fighting for your families. I want you all to win—EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
And please, don't go thinking I'm some bored, idle woman just posting to pass the time. I'm married, I work, and I have three kids of my own, but somehow, you all have become very dear to me.

goldenharbor42 said:Hi everyone!
I decided to join this community because, much like all of you, I feel like we’re living in a world right now where everything feels chaotic and the rules of existence seem to have vanished entirely...
Even though my medical tests suggest I am perfectly healthy both physically and mentally (aside from some Candida, which my doctors don't view as a major issue), I’ve experienced a devastating weight drop from 175 lbs down to 120 lbs over the last two years. My energy levels are non-existent; honestly, walking up a single flight of stairs feels like trekking across the entire United States.
The weight loss hasn't stopped, either. I eat a normal amount—sometimes even more than usual—except on those days when I feel truly terrible and end up skipping one of my five scheduled meals. I’m still holding onto hope that I can turn this around; I have a little one at home who really needs their mom to be well...
How on earth can I gain weight? Because of the Candida, I have to strictly avoid sugar, yeast, white flour, and wheat, and I’ve been told to limit meat...
If I eat things I'm not supposed to, I feel weak and lightheaded, but if I stick to vegetables, how am I ever supposed to put on any mass?
Once I manage to put on just 5 pounds, I’m going to throw myself a celebration, and once I finally hit 132 lbs... well, I couldn't be happier!
I feel like I have absolutely no support system anywhere. People just tell me "it's all in your head," yet my psychiatrist insists that the toxins from the Candida are having a massive impact on my body and that my mental health is actually fine.
Sending a huge hug to everyone out there; I truly believe that together, we can navigate our way through any situation...
:O[]

Have you had your thyroid checked lately?
Extreme fatigue and rapid weight loss are classic symptoms of thyroid issues, specifically hyperthyroidism. I went through that myself about ten years ago. I still deal with thyroid matters today, but they say it's one of the more manageable chronic conditions—at least, that's the common sentiment.
Best regards,