Emergency: My friend is pregnant

Jessica Perez93 said:Consider an extreme outlier.

I know a woman who underwent forty-five abortions. Why? Because her husband is an alcoholic—does whatever he wants without ever consulting her.

And now what? Most cases aren't like that—but you can't truly know their reasons since you aren't living in their kitchen or inside their heads.

In that specific scenario, I'd say the reasoning holds weight—though I feel nothing but sorrow for all of them. Even God will forgive them; they simply didn't know any better.

Sean Grant85 said:Someone actually claims this isn't a big deal because they just don't want any more kids and feel like their family is already complete.

Oh, sure. Like abortion is murder one minute but totally fine the next? That’s some incredible logic right there. 🙄

Personally, I find it much more practical to invest $17 monthly into reliable contraception rather than gambling with my entire life, my health, my future, and a massive weight on my conscience. And $533. 😉

As for married couples... if they're already struggling that hard financially and want to enjoy intimacy without the fear of more kids, they should just save up a lump sum and have the husband get a vasectomy.

If they ever change their minds down the road, the procedure for men is reversible.

Sean Grant85 said:I know you aren't making things up, but we really need to look closer at the ultrasound for that 56-day-old embryo. To me, it just doesn't look like an embryo. It’s got to be some kind of glitch on the website.

I think you're overthinking it.🙂

It's not a "website glitch" when it's appearing on every single site, from university portals to major medical center pages.

If you're so sure, why not just ask a gynecologist and let us know if they agree it's a mistake? 🙂

Jessica Perez93 said:I know a woman who has had 45 abortions. Why? Because her husband is an alcoholic and does whatever he wants without ever asking her first.

Excuse me, but in my book, that woman has absolutely zero excuse. An abortion once? Fine. Twice is pushing it. But after that, I’d be tempted to just surgically remove her ovaries and uterus myself. She needs to get a divorce, take control of her contraception, or just have her husband sterilized. 😈

Sure, protecting the right to choose is one thing, but you can't just use that right as a loophole for total chaos. 😠

A fetus is essentially an unborn human being from the conclusion of the eighth week of pregnancy—once those primary biological structures are established—right up until the moment of birth. Before that developmental milestone, we're looking at an embryo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetus

Megan Reed said:For me, paying monthly for birth control is a much better investment $17 than gambling with my health, my future, or living with a guilty conscience. It’s simple math. $533. 😉

As for married couples... if they're already struggling financially but still want to avoid more kids, they should just save up enough cash
to have the husband get sterilized once and for all.
If they change their minds down the road, the procedure for men can be reversed.

That isn't true—it's not a guarantee. There's only about a 45% chance of success. You need to think LONG and hard before getting a vasectomy.

What happens when your contraception fails? If you've closed that door forever, what then?

Megan Reed said:Excuse me, but in my book, that woman has zero excuse. An abortion once—fine. Twice is pushing it—but next time, I’d personally see to it she loses her ovaries and uterus. She should get a divorce. Or deal with contraception. Let her husband get sterilized. 😈

Allowing choice is one thing—it's quite another to allow it to be abused. 😠

I agree with that point—but you can clearly see we're looking at an alcoholic and a woman living in poverty. Everyone involved lacks basic education; they've likely never even heard of marriage counseling, and they'd probably find it humiliating to seek advice on contraception. Perhaps the woman feels too much shame to even visit a gynecologist. Essentially, there is a massive lack of awareness here. That's a mitigating factor—but we are also to blame, specifically the social workers. They ought to be warning them—pushing them toward being educated about birth control and making informed choices! How is it that no one bothered to explain the necessity of contraception to her?

Sean Grant85 said:I’m not saying you made it up, but we really need to take a second look at the age listed for that 56-day embryo. To me, that doesn't look like an embryo at all. It’s got to be some kind of glitch on the website.

Look, it says 56 days. That means eight weeks. But let's be real, that's post-ovulation eight weeks.

And they actually have this note right there for stage 23: NOTE: This specimen is late stage 23 or possibly an early fetus. An example representing stage 23 more accurately will replace this specimen when available.

Fine, then how can abortion be legal up to 75 days after the first period?! That’s nearly 60 days—give or take. By that point, a 56-day-old embryo has already transitioned deep into a fetal stage.

Megan Reed said:Excuse me, but I don't think she has any excuse whatsoever. One abortion? Fine. Twice is pushing it, and if she goes a third time, I’d personally want her ovaries and uterus removed. She should just get a divorce. Or figure out contraception. Or have her husband get sterilized. 😈

I agree that having the choice is fine, but we shouldn't be abusing that right. 😠

Is 🙂

There’s no justification here. She doesn't work, she’s old-school, and she lives in Greece. Why don't you come visit her for a few days before you decide whether or not she’s in the wrong?

YOU CANNOT JUDGE PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW.

That's exactly the point—nobody truly knows anyone else. You see people passing by on the street looking perfectly fine and healthy, but you can never actually know what they're going through or what their real reasons are.

Jessica Perez93 said:Is 🙂

There is no excuse—she isn't working, she’s old-school, and she lives in Greece. Why don't you just fly out to visit her one day and then tell us whether it's possible or not?

YOU CANNOT JUDGE PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW.

That’s the point—nobody truly knows anyone. You see someone on the street in Chicago, they look perfectly fine and composed, but you have no idea what they are actually going through or why.

I agree with you there.

Sean Grant85 said:It’s a total myth that the procedure is reversible for men. You're looking at maybe a 45% chance at best. That’s why you need to think LONG and hard before getting a vasectomy!*

And what happens if your birth control fails? What then?

See, there you go... the questions just keep coming. Sure, it might be reversible for some guys, but sterilization for women isn't a thing you can just undo.

*In an extreme scenario like this, if I were in that woman's shoes, I wouldn't give it a second thought... unless she was actually planning on having kids with some alcoholic jerk. 🙄 The only real hurdle would be convincing her husband. 😁

As for me, I'm still a college student living at home with my parents, no income or anything. So, yeah, nothing beats a conversation starter. I know no method of contraception is ever truly 100% foolproof, but obviously, you have to be as careful as possible. That’s just my take, given where I am in life right now.

Jessica Perez93 said:YOU CAN'T JUDGE PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW.

Look, regardless of how you slice it, I’m just not going to lump a woman who’s had one partner in with someone who’s been with forty-five. They aren't the same thing.

My moral compass isn't exactly flexible on this one. 😳

Sean Grant85 said:By 56 days, you're looking at something that's already transitioned deep into the fetal stage.

Look, the text explicitly states this isn't an accurate representation for the 56-day mark. We're talking about a late-stage embryo or an early fetus—basically the tail end of phase 23. That image is just flat-out wrong.

Sean Grant85 said:But what if they’re wealthy and highly educated? I don't see a valid reason for an abortion in those cases.

Look, money and degrees aren't everything. You have plenty of wealthy, highly educated women who would never choose to have kids simply because they don't want them. (And honestly, I'm not interested in digging into their personal motivations. 😁)

Just as poverty or a lack of education doesn't give a woman a free pass to seek an abortion, someone else's bank account or Ivy League degree isn't a sufficient reason for her to be forced to carry a child. 🙂 It all comes down to the individual. 😁

At the end of the day, I can only mind my own business; I have no right to stick my nose where it doesn't belong or lecture other women on their choices. I don't get to tell anyone whether to terminate or continue a pregnancy. (It always circles back to that "my body, my choice" argument—her life, her decision... while the father's role is almost always treated as an afterthought... 😳) Everything else is just a massive "what if" scenario.

Megan Reed said:*In an extreme case like this, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't give it a second thought... unless she's planning on having kids with that alcoholic. 🙄 The only real issue is convincing the husband. 😁

You really think you can talk someone into getting a vasectomy if you can't even get them to perform during sex? 😕

And besides... they probably don't have the cash for those kinds of "luxuries" anyway. 🙂

Look, any sane woman is going to try to avoid an abortion at all costs. And don't even get me started on doing forty-five... if she’s already gone through forty-five, it means she’s just going to keep going. How many more? Another forty-five? Ninety? It’s honestly stomach-turning.

Generally speaking, I’m FOR women having access to abortion under certain circumstances, but cases like this just feel wrong to me. I can't wrap my head around it, and I can't justify it to myself. You know, even if she’s otherwise a great person, whatever—I just can't stomach it.

AN ABORTION IS NOT A CONTRACEPTIVE METHOD; IT NEVER WAS, AND IT NEVER WILL BE. Because of that, I simply cannot support using it as a way to prevent pregnancy. :-/

But like you said, this specific example is EXTREME, even if it isn't the only one out there.

Look, if someone has actually convinced themselves that their best, most logical, or only viable option is to just get an abortion after every single sexual encounter...

there’s really nothing left to debate here. 🙂

***

And besides, who is actually footing the bill for all these constant abortions? 😳 😳 😳 Where is that money coming from? Or is this some kind of scenario straight out of a movie like "The Truman Show," where everything is being manipulated behind the scenes?

Megan Reed said:Look, any sane woman is going to try to avoid abortion at all costs. And don't even get me started on 45... if she’s already had 45, it means she’ll do it again. How many more? Another 45? Another 90? That's just gross.

Personally, I'm generally okay with a woman choosing abortion under certain circumstances, but cases like this feel totally abnormal to me. I can't wrap my head around it or justify it. You know, she might be an otherwise great person, whatever, but I just can't stomach it.

ABORTION IS NOT A METHOD OF CONTRACEPTION, IT NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE. So, I can't support it being used as one. :-/

But like you said, this example is EXTREME, even if it isn't the only one.

When she told me about this (this was about 7 or 8 years ago, and she was roughly 40 then), I was in total shock.

I kept thinking, "She could buy condoms. She could get her tubes tied. She could just say no. She could leave him." It just didn't make sense to me. 😕

Now, I don't even want to think about it because I honestly have no idea... I just don't know what goes through their minds. 😢

Elvis Presley said:I kept thinking, "Well, he can buy condoms. He can use protection. He can just not go through with it. She could just walk away." I was completely lost 😕

But honestly, I don't even want to dwell on it anymore because I genuinely have no idea what goes through someone's head.

I’m having the exact same reaction. You can't just rationalize that kind of behavior.

What kind of twisted logic is that—thinking you'll just be careful one day, end up pregnant, and then deal with an abortion the next?

An abortion should be the absolute last resort, the final option when everything else fails... at least, that's how it's supposed to work. When I hear stories like this... 😢 👎 🙂 ugh.

*Or maybe I'm just being idealistic. It isn't like grabbing a glass of water, for crying out loud. 😠 The saddest part is that I've actually heard similar stories before, much like yours. Every woman knows at least one person who has gone through something like this. It's scary. 😲