Topic of the day: Would you rather cheat or be cheated on?

feralranger said:To illustrate, if I were to insist that my friend Steve had no other companions besides myself, and felt a certain sense of unease at the mere thought of him befriending Simon—that would imply a level of jealousy within the realm of friendship.

The situation you are describing functions in much the same way, only it pertains to the erotic sphere (which, for the vast majority of people, is precisely how it works).

Nothing can truly be compared to love. The example you provided doesn't hold up here; we are talking about an entirely different category of relationship and emotion altogether.

...well, we find ourselves circling back to this issue simply because some people lack basic discernment. It’s quite similar to when you attempt to provide someone with fundamental mathematical instructions; the problem lies in the fact that certain individuals fail to grasp the glaringly obvious distinction between erotic love and philia within the Homo sapiens sapiens species.

In the sphere of philia, most people aren't prone to jealousy or possessiveness—> for the most part, they don't insist on a monopoly over their partner.

In the erotic sphere, however, most people are inherently jealous and exclusive—> they generally demand a strictly 'monogamous' arrangement.

It isn't truly a matter of "complex mathematics," yet somehow, it remains an impossibly complicated concept for some.

feralranger said:...well, we find ourselves circling back to this issue simply because some people lack basic discernment. It’s quite similar to when you attempt to provide someone with fundamental mathematical instructions; the problem lies in the fact that certain individuals fail to grasp the glaringly obvious distinction between erotic love and philia within the Homo sapiens sapiens species.

In the sphere of philia, most people aren't prone to jealousy or possessiveness—> for the most part, they don't insist on a monopoly over their partner.

In the erotic sphere, however, most people are inherently jealous and exclusive—> they generally demand a strictly 'monogamous' arrangement.

It isn't truly a matter of "complex mathematics," yet somehow, it remains an impossibly complicated concept for some.

Once you actually get cheated on, or if you end up being the one doing the cheating, you'll start singing a different tune.

You have zero clue what you're talking about and you're just rambling the same old crap... you literally just copy-pasted your posts from a totally different thread.

Just get outta here, man...

Well, it seems you’re the only one truly standing out in this crowd. feralranger. 🤷

coastalwalker9 said:Well, it seems you’re the only one truly standing out in this crowd. feralranger. 🤷

Oh, naturally (and not just in this particular corner of the internet)—it’s simply because I refuse to be categorized as a man of "opinion" who fits neatly into the mainstream mold.

I merely expressed my interest in peering beneath the surface of what most people consider trivial or painfully obvious.

PS
The usual crowd from the gossip threads over on the other forum has arrived as well. 😁

There are much simpler explanations for why that is, far beyond those fancy compliments you're using to flatter yourself

Melissa Rivera said:Once you actually get cheated on, or if you end up being the one doing the cheating, you'll start singing a different tune.

You have zero clue what you're talking about and you're just rambling the same old crap... you literally just copy-pasted your posts from a totally different thread.

Just get outta here, man...

I am hardly speaking nonsense. Surely you are familiar enough with the concept of Eros and its implications.
Haha, which thread are you even referring to?🤣

northernmaker7, you really are being quite tedious. Let’s be honest: we have all been deceived at some point, and we have all been unfaithful.

feralranger said:Oh, naturally (and not just in this particular corner of the internet)—it’s simply because I refuse to be categorized as a man of "opinion" who fits neatly into the mainstream mold.

I merely expressed my interest in peering beneath the surface of what most people consider trivial or painfully obvious.

PS
The usual crowd from the gossip threads over on the other forum has arrived as well. 😁

So, have you actually put those views into practice? Are you actually in a polyamorous relationship?

Honestly, you should just ban him from the PDF section to prevent any further harassment; he clearly needs to learn how to follow basic social cues and respect boundaries.

It depends on who was cheating me and who I was cheating; I can't say off the top of my head.

Forgive me, I see we have yet another feralranger vs. the world debate underway.

fadedcobra7 said:So, have you actually put those views into practice? Are you actually in a polyamorous relationship?

And how on earth does that even matter?

I merely stated that my jealousy levels are slightly below the national average... though, broadly speaking, the balance between philia and eros in my own relationships remains pretty much aligned with what most people experience emotionally.

The only thing is, I have a profound distaste for platitudes—those empty little catchphrases that everyone else seems to swallow whole. I prefer to call things exactly what they are, which, quite frankly, tends to rub the mainstream, unthinking masses the wrong way.

I think I’d honestly rather be cheated on. It sounds crazy, I know, but it feels way simpler than dealing with this other stuff—at least for my own conscience and my soul, I guess. 😬It happened once, just one time, and I don't even hold any negativity toward that person, or maybe I never really did... perhaps because it just wasn't really *that* thing, you know? 😬

feralranger said:...well, we find ourselves circling back to this issue simply because some people lack basic discernment. It’s quite similar to when you attempt to provide someone with fundamental mathematical instructions; the problem lies in the fact that certain individuals fail to grasp the glaringly obvious distinction between erotic love and philia within the Homo sapiens sapiens species.

In the sphere of philia, most people aren't prone to jealousy or possessiveness—> for the most part, they don't insist on a monopoly over their partner.

In the erotic sphere, however, most people are inherently jealous and exclusive—> they generally demand a strictly 'monogamous' arrangement.

It isn't truly a matter of "complex mathematics," yet somehow, it remains an impossibly complicated concept for some.

It’s pretty obvious that you’re the one struggling to grasp reality if you can't wrap your head around what people are telling you. An intelligent person would state their case, explain themselves if they felt something was unclear, and then leave it at that—letting everyone else move on with their lives.

Clinging to an argument like this doesn't make you look smart; it just makes you look like a fool.

Quote: Mother of Pearl

fadedcobra7 said:A busted circuit board 🤣

🤣
Quote: Mother of Pearl

Tomislav B Asks: If someone engages in infidelity within a marriage—but does so without any emotional attachment, treating it strictly as a form of recreation—why exactly would that be considered morally reprehensible? The truth is—Christianity labels it a sin—but if someone isn't a Christian, why should that even matter? Picture this—your significant other heads off for a multi-day corporate retreat. It’s the classic high-energy itinerary: paintball, white-water rafting, touring some historic estate, followed by a heavy dinner and a night of heavy drinking and wild parties. Somewhere in that chaotic mix, things escalate, and they end up sleeping with someone else. Imagine this—your partner comes home from a trip, looking absolutely exhausted, yet somehow completely recharged—full of that specific kind of renewed energy you only get from exploring somewhere new. What happened at the corporate retreat stays at the corporate retreat. And good luck as you continue navigating life—balancing the directing, the parenting, and all those endless daily responsibilities. Where exactly does the sin lie?

It isn't just about Christianity—it’s a universal concept.

You feel like absolute garbage when you cheat—you know exactly where the problem lies.

It isn't just about the physical act itself—theoretically, sex could be classified as a form of aerobics.
It isn’t merely about infidelity—it’s about the betrayal itself.

You are intentionally misleading the other party.

In this specific instance regarding One-Night Stands—and assuming we maintain maximum discretion—there isn't any tangible damage being done right now. However, there is a psychological shift occurring—a gradual development of a certain mindset—where one's attention span begins to erode. It’s like a slow leak in a tire; you don't notice the loss of pressure immediately, but eventually, you find yourself riding on the rim.

And let’s be clear—this wasn't just some mindless solo act in a substitute role.
Quote: Mother of Pearl

darkjackal7 said:Yeah. 👍

Let’s be clear: this isn't about jealousy. This is about a total betrayal of everything we stand for as Americans.
You screw up with the wrong person, and suddenly the lights flash on, forcing you to face the cold, hard truth about the absolute disaster of a personality you’ve been sleeping next to.

👍
The moment someone starts playing you—it’s over. There is simply no coming back from that.
Quote: Mother of Pearl

Charles Johnson18 said:It depends on who was cheating me and who I was cheating; I can't say off the top of my head.

Forgive me, I see we have yet another feralranger vs. the world debate underway.

Context is everything.

brightmaker12 said:I think I’d honestly rather be cheated on. It sounds crazy, I know, but it feels way simpler than dealing with this other stuff—at least for my own conscience and my soul, I guess. 😬It happened once, just one time, and I don't even hold any negativity toward that person, or maybe I never really did... perhaps because it just wasn't really *that* thing, you know? 😬

It is certainly the simpler path, yes...

The question itself is fundamentally stupid, aside from those religious zealots who would probably start lighting bonfires over this. It’s not the same thing. Being cheated on by someone you actually enjoy being with isn't the same as cheating on someone who systematically neglects you, rejects your intimacy, and denies you any affection—compared to someone truly devoted to you. Honestly, it's a waste of breath. Nothing in life is black and white, unless you're a teenager or some academic theorist with zero real-world experience.

darkjackal7 said:It’s pretty obvious that you’re the one struggling to grasp reality if you can't wrap your head around what people are telling you. An intelligent person would state their case, explain themselves if they felt something was unclear, and then leave it at that—letting everyone else move on with their lives.

Clinging to an argument like this doesn't make you look smart; it just makes you look like a fool.

And apparently, because some of us lack your particular brand of shamelessness—and happen to possess a functional understanding of mathematics and science, preferring logic over bizarre superstitions and horoscopes—we are all categorized as "fools."

However, while you may be attempting to insult me, you are essentially just describing yourself and inviting nothing but your own embarrassment.

The question itself is quite straightforward. It's just that any attempt at an answer seems to stretch out indefinitely in every direction. All that is required is a simple choice between A or B, along with a brief explanation as to why. ☕

feralranger said:And how on earth does that even matter?

I merely stated that my jealousy levels are slightly below the national average... though, broadly speaking, the balance between philia and eros in my own relationships remains pretty much aligned with what most people experience emotionally.

The only thing is, I have a profound distaste for platitudes—those empty little catchphrases that everyone else seems to swallow whole. I prefer to call things exactly what they are, which, quite frankly, tends to rub the mainstream, unthinking masses the wrong way.

Look, if you ask me, you're just overthinking it. Theory is one thing, but reality is a whole different beast.

You’d think anyone would be happy if their partner decided to "go out and spread the love." 😬

fadedcobra7 said:Look, if you ask me, you're just overthinking it. Theory is one thing, but reality is a whole different beast.

You’d think anyone would be happy if their partner decided to "go out and spread the love." 😬

Spreading the love. 🙂