Topic of the day: What's the ideal age to get married?

I haven't seen anything from imi18 lately. I guess we're just waiting—maybe they've finally moved on to something more interesting. [Drew Ross2] says:
I guess MOP has a point regarding the whole "early parenting" debate—honestly, 20 definitely wasn't the right age for marriage. But I’m fine with having had my first child at 21. It means that by my 40s, I’ll finally have my freedom back—kind of an empty nester situation—and I suppose that little thought is enough to keep me going. 🤣

Sometimes I find myself drifting toward that thought—thinking that if we’d just had a kid right at the start, they’d probably be an adult by now. Maybe. 😲
No, then I remember how carefree and reckless we were in our twenties—just drifting, idling, and being responsible only to ourselves. It was pure bliss, really. I suppose I’m just glad we didn't dive headfirst into diapers, baby food, and all that jazz back then. 😳

ot.
There aren't really any "best" years for marriage—or maybe there are, but I doubt it. I guess any year works, provided you actually feel ready and willing to commit.
Personally, marriage doesn't mean much to me—I’ve always prioritized substance over formalities. I did end up getting married, though, mostly because it felt like the path of least resistance when we decided to have kids. I guess it just seemed easier to handle all that paperwork while being legally wed. 🐔

Having kids is a much bigger milestone than getting married—that’s the thing that actually changes everything. I’d suggest to anyone that they aim for parenthood in their late twenties or early thirties; at least, that was the sweet spot for me. 😁
What people need to understand is that a baby shakes up any relationship—it’s just a fact. Couples who didn't have a solid foundation of emotional intelligence probably see things fall apart once the kid arrives. As for those with a strong EQ base? They might hold steady, though they’ll likely find themselves in a holding pattern—missing out on those quiet, uninterrupted moments together for a while. 🐔

And another thing—something that actually matters—you really ought to live together before diving headfirst into marriage and kids. It’s probably worth testing the waters first, I guess. 😳 Six months is fine, I suppose—but a year would be ideal.

Richard Wright3 said:If you consider having kids a fundamental part of marriage, then thirty is probably the upper limit, in my opinion. If that isn't the goal, however, the timeline matters much less; you could tie the knot at fifty and it wouldn't change the equation.

Even if you want kids, it’s still irrelevant.
Marriage isn't a prerequisite for having children, and having kids isn't a requirement for getting married.

Look, I mean, sure, there are definitely people in their early twenties who could be great parents, but if it were me? I’d take those years with way fewer responsibilities.
Maybe living together wouldn't be a huge deal, like, pretty soon. But kids? Building up assets, taking out massive loans, all that stuff? I'd wait. Just speaking for myself here, not saying everyone else should follow my lead.

Honestly, works for me... my kid's 27 and I'm 47.

And those middle-aged parents? Yeah, everything's got pros and cons...
Having kids after 40? Never happened for me, and definitely wouldn't happen then either.

Yeah, I spent a long time thinking, "Whatever, I'll just get married to the first guy who comes along later," but here I am at 33, and honestly? I'm glad. I'm actually really happy things turned out this way because now I have so much more confidence, self-awareness, and actual opportunities for some cool adventures—rather than being, say, totally single and wild in my 20s only to end up having kids in my 40s. Plus, I feel like since I'm older, marriage feels almost unnecessary now, unless it's for something specific, I guess, like protecting assets or inheritance or something like that 🤷

Age is just a number; I honestly think it’s more about whether you're both looking for the same thing at the same stage of life.
I've seen plenty of "epic romances" crash and burn, while totally average couples end up married with a mortgage and kids simply because they happened to stumble upon someone who wanted the exact same lifestyle.

electricscout15 said:Yeah, I spent a long time thinking, "Whatever, I'll just get married to the first guy who comes along later," but here I am at 33, and honestly? I'm glad. I'm actually really happy things turned out this way because now I have so much more confidence, self-awareness, and actual opportunities for some cool adventures—rather than being, say, totally single and wild in my 20s only to end up having kids in my 40s. Plus, I feel like since I'm older, marriage feels almost unnecessary now, unless it's for something specific, I guess, like protecting assets or inheritance or something like that 🤷

Listen, honey, every woman needs her own thing... the absolute worst scenario is being dependent on a guy with no income or a place to call your own. That’s how they keep you under their thumb... forget marriage licenses, they're nothing but a liability during a divorce...

For instance, if someone were to take out a loan, I guess they wouldn't be able to do it under any circumstances, even then 🤣 🤣

electricscout15 said:For instance, if someone were to take out a loan, I guess they wouldn't be able to do it under any circumstances, even then 🤣 🤣

Don't sweat it. Usually, they just talk you into taking out the loan yourself—conveniently making sure you qualify while they don't—and then suddenly it's considered joint property.

Tyler Roberts25 said:You don't just jump into marriage whenever you feel like it—you do it when you’re actually ready for the weight of it. It means being prepared to reshape your entire life around your family and your community, and being willing to make those necessary sacrifices for the sake of the group. Anything else is just playing numbers games...

Sent from my Galaxy S9 using Reddit

I really resonate with this sentiment. Beyond that, I also feel there's a profound difference between marriages centered around raising children and those without them. In the former, that sense of "sacrifice" for the collective good feels much more significant.

I actually got married when I was just 19. It was all very intentional. Having a child was part of that plan too, and I gave birth right after turning 20.
In just a few months, I'll be hitting the big 4-0, while my son will be 20. He's living his own life now, studying and working out in 1243 miles the Midwest, quite far from home. It’s peaceful, though... 🙂
I suspect my younger child will follow a pretty similar path.

And then... well... I'll find myself with all this freedom again, right when I'm entering what should be my best years... 😁

Brandon Foster7 said:Don't sweat it. Usually, they just talk you into taking out the loan yourself—conveniently making sure you qualify while they don't—and then suddenly it's considered joint property.

Aha, great. Even better. 🤣

I’d say somewhere in the 25 to 30 range—give or take a couple of years—is probably the sweet spot. As for marriage itself, I’ve noticed people mentioning that some folks just view it as a one-time thing. Honestly, I think that makes sense when you're first starting out. Of course, there’s always that nagging possibility that one person isn't actually taking the whole commitment seriously and isn't really prepared to act like they're actually married🙂

I mean, if I weren't looking at it as a lifelong commitment, I guess I could just end up marrying every single person I match with on an app or anyone I don't immediately get into a massive blowout fight with.

Ashley Vaughn79 said:03/23. What are the ideal ages to get married?

Is there actually an ideal age, or is it entirely up to the individual?
Does marriage even matter to you, or do you see it as just a formality?

What is your motivation for wanting to get married?

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This topic was pulled from the 105th post of the topic of the day.

The 400s. ☕

Benjamin Taylor90 said:The 400s. ☕

Way before 🙂

Every single loan taken out during a marriage is essentially a "joint debt."

I mean, surely there isn't anyone actually convinced that a home bought through a mortgage counts as marital property to be split down the middle, while the actual loan remains nothing more than a personal burden for whoever signed the paperwork?

Honestly, there’s no such thing as a "perfect" age to get hitched—as long as you've found that one person you actually want to spend your life with, that's all that matters.
I mean, sure, people can have plenty of good reasons or some pretty terrible ones for jumping into a marriage, but that's on them.
For me, once everything just clicked—the right person, the right timing, the whole feeling was just *there*—I went for it. I’m way past that stage where I care about what some legal document says; at this point, it’s all about the choices we make every single day.

I don't think there's really a "perfect" age to get married.
To me, marriage is basically just a legally recognized partnership between two people that comes with certain administrative perks.

If you're looking at marriage as a precursor to starting a family, I guess the sweet spot would be somewhere between 25 and 30.
By 25, most people have probably gone through their wild phase and figured out what they actually care about, plus a younger parent might find it a bit easier to keep up with the chaos of kids.😁>

Looking at some folks I know, I see how much easier it is for some people to have college-aged kids by the time they hit 40👍 compared to those who are still dealing with infants or toddlers.😵

There’s no such thing as a "right" age 🕺

I married young, and I found myself widowed relatively early too—I hadn't even hit 36 yet... thankfully, my kids are all grown now, so I'm finally getting a chance to just enjoy this newfound freedom 😬

Anyone actually a fan of Cher? Maybe? 😬

I think this pretty much answers the question perfectly. 🎉

The reality is that managing someone else's teenage meltdown is a lot easier when you've just barely survived your own—but believing you can somehow make up for two decades spent playing nanny once you hit forty is a complete delusion.

Look, I get it, I really do. People love to say forty is the new fifteen... as if that actually means anything.