Did I mess up? The devil's path + a lesson learned

Matthew Gomez2 said:She’s basically just a female version of me—which, let's be honest, is a rare find, maybe even one of a kind.

So why all the drama? Just go out there and start a family. 🙂

Matthew Gomez2 said:I hadn't really looked at things from that angle before, so I truly appreciate the sentiment behind that message—thank you. I’m still figuring out the exact roadmap, but my plan is to dive into software engineering and eventually build a business alongside my girlfriend; we both intend to live as minimally as possible. For us, money won't ever be an issue, but we don't want to treat it like some sacred object; to us, it’s more of a tool or even a bit of an illusion. My thought is to provide my kids with everything they might need, and then later on, have those deeper conversations with them about what it all actually means. Growing up, things were pretty tough for me—we struggled financially, and there was a real lack of communication with my parents. For a long time, that felt incredibly unfair and painful, and while I've reached a point where I can look back and accept it as part of my journey, the sting of it hasn't entirely disappeared. I don't want my children to go through that same kind of hardship, but more importantly, I want to make sure they have the open dialogue that I missed out on. To me, that connection is just as vital as anything else.

Slightly off-topic since this isn't really a spiritual debate, but—do you actually think you've got what it takes to teach yourself how to code and actually make a living at it? I don't know you well enough from your posts to say for sure, and maybe you've got buddies or mentors ready to help you out with projects and stuff. If you don't... well, you're gonna need some serious grit to pull off programming, and I don't know if you've got that. Just saying—I don't know you, obviously—but good luck regardless.

Quincy:

It’s all just so incredibly abstract, isn't it? You sit there staring at the screen, trying to pin down a concept that refuses to hold its shape, much like those attempts to grasp a fleeting thought before it dissolves into nothingness. Does anyone else ever feel that way, where the more you try to define a thing, the further it seems to drift away from any semblance of concrete reality? It’s a strange sort of mental fog, really, drifting through ideas that have no anchor, no ground to stand on, leaving you wandering through a landscape of pure theory without a compass in sight. kaže: I finally had that realization yesterday, though I suppose if you actually sit down and weigh the pros and cons of remote work against the whole daily grind of commuting to an office, the edge clearly goes to staying home. Is it really that complicated when you look at the sheer amount of time saved? There’s no soul-crushing commute to worry about, which means I don't have to spend my mornings staring at people I can't stand, and honestly, having my own space where I actually feel comfortable working makes such a difference, doesn't it? I don't have to stress over what I'm wearing or deal with all those little daily irritations, and if I look at the math of it all—especially in my specific situation—I'd end up spending way more time at home than someone stuck living in a cramped rental apartment. So, what’s the move if you can’t exactly hash things out in the public thread—is there a way to send a DM? I’m currently scouting for some legitimate work-from-home options, though I’ve already started diving into programming, which feels like an incredibly long road to travel before seeing any real results.

Look, there are plenty of perks to working from home, sure, but you’ve still got to actually get dressed for the day, haven't you? It's almost a necessity when you have a Zoom call scheduled or some high-stakes meeting on the calendar, but honestly, it goes deeper than that. There is something to be said for the psychological shift that happens when you swap your pajamas for something more professional; it just helps you feel like you are actually "at work," regardless of whether your office is a dedicated study or just a corner of your living room in Chicago. Don't you think that sense of ritual is what keeps you from feeling like you're just drifting through the day?
Working from home these days seems to involve an endless, swirling vortex of tasks, doesn't it? There is just so much more to manage than people realize, a constant stream of things that seem to multiply the moment you sit down at your desk. From my own experience, I’ve come to realize that if you aren't fluent in foreign languages, you’re essentially hitting a ceiling quite early on. You really need at least one language mastered at a C-level proficiency, and then having a second one sitting comfortably at a B2 level becomes almost mandatory if you want to actually get anywhere.
I mean, wouldn't it be a decent move to pick up something else on the side while you're grinding away at programming, maybe something a bit less mentally taxing where you can actually start building up some real rapport and trust with clients? It’s funny how most people seem to insist on seeing a college degree before they even consider talking to you, though I suppose that isn't always the case for every single role out there, is it?
I mean, there’s plenty of room to work with, isn't there?

Joseph Bailey41 said:So why all the drama? Just go out there and start a family. 🙂

Exactly. You should be stoked that you actually found your soulmate and you guys are doing life together.
As long as you're a team, you can handle anything—love wins every time.

BTW, about that whole programming thing... it’s not as easy as people make it sound. You gotta grind through learning it first, then hunt for a job, and so on... it definitely isn't for everyone.

I used to have those same thoughts too, you know? Like, growing my own food, going full organic, maybe not even selling it, though I don't really have any clue how to actually do that. Then there's the water situation—maybe drilling a well, setting up solar panels or some other way to get power... maybe a heat pump for the house??? Plus greenhouses, hydroponics, horticulture, hunting down heirloom seeds... honestly, you could probably look into the best ways to grow healthy stuff. I'm a vegetarian myself, so I wouldn't be looking at raising any livestock for meat.

And man, it really depends on where this property is located. If I were picking, I'd want somewhere deep in nature, maybe right on the edge of a massive forest like the Appalachian Mountains, but still close enough to civilization or a decent city. Like, somewhere you can hop in the car and hit Washington, D.C. in about an hour, and you need to think about schools for the kids, too.

Anyway, just be happy you've got her in your corner. ☕

Matthew Gomez2 said:Hello everyone. Lately, I’ve been distilling my various life phases into one singular direction, and I wanted to put it out there to get some perspective from those who might know better. 😉

I’ve walked away from college entirely.
I’ve deleted all my social media accounts for good.
I’ve cut ties with about 99% of people, leaving just my girlfriend and my parents.
I’ve bought over a hundred books on psychology and philosophy with the intention of deepening my self-understanding—fields I’ve always had an affinity for.
I’ve dedicated myself to daily reflection, thinking through how to decouple myself from the machine as much as possible.
I’ve embraced minimalism (getting rid of about 80% of my wardrobe, sticking to a specific diet, and refusing to spend money unless it's absolutely necessary).
I’ve started learning the ropes of investing and building passive income streams that could eventually overtake my primary income once I leave my current job.
The plan is to move out to the countryside with my girlfriend and live a quiet life, far removed from the noise of shallow people and the frantic pace of modern life.
I’ve replaced all my bad habits with ones that actually hold value.

Am I being realistic here, or have I completely sabotaged my future? Does this kind of mindset actually lead anywhere?

To be fair, if someone else had made these moves overnight, it would have been catastrophic. But I didn't just snap; I spent a long time sharpening my blade before I finally cut everything loose. Because of that, none of this feels overwhelming. In fact, after a long period of sleepwalking, indulgence,
and believing in fairy tales, I feel incredibly awake and driven.

A little story to wrap this up:

There was a man living in a coastal town who would spend his mornings fishing and selling his catch, his afternoons working on personal projects, and his evenings sitting by the beach with his wife and kids, drinking wine and playing the guitar.

One day, an American businessman arrived. He noticed the fisherman and approached him, asking if he could offer some advice.

The man agreed, and the American said, "I can help you significantly increase your sales. You could buy more boats and gear, hire a few employees, eventually move to a major city to start a firm, and ultimately end up in New York City running several global companies."

The man simply asked, "And how long would that take?"

"Well, maybe twenty or twenty-five years," the businessman replied.

The man asked, "And then what?"

The businessman answered, "Then you'll be able to fish in the mornings, work on yourself in the afternoons, and spend your evenings by the beach with your family, drinking wine and playing the guitar."

That resonates deeply with me. I’ve taken it to heart. What is the point of grinding every single day for someone else just to satisfy the emotional whims of others, or to remain enslaved to our own habits and useless clutter?
Establishing a meaningful existence is actually quite simple; it just requires the discipline to understand what a human being is truly meant for.

Why wait to actually live your life when you already know what you want and realize most of what the world chases isn't even real?

Thanks for reading. I'm open to any thoughts—whether it's practical advice on setting up a life in rural America or suggestions on what kind of work I should pursue.

I hope no one finds this topic out of place here, but to me, this is fundamentally about spirituality, self-discovery, and shattering the illusions of what we think is real versus what is just a fantasy of the mind.😵

If you're living rural, farming is the obvious move. If you're into minimalism and don't want to chase the dollar, farming still makes sense... just trade your extra crops with the neighbors.

Thinking about those new series on the Land of Opportunity lately... stories about people ditching their corporate gigs to go all-in on the land and build their own brands. Like this lawyer from Austria who runs a goat farm making high-end cheese. Or some guy growing peppers and making artisanal chili sauces. It looks great on screen, but those folks had startup capital, a solid plan, and they're using modern tech for production and sales. From what I can tell, you haven't even figured out what you want to do yet—that feels like the real hurdle...

Matthew Gomez2 said:We’re on the exact same page. I actually already own my property and have everything set up; it might need some minor upgrades, but I wouldn't say I'm just halfway there. The real second half of the puzzle is figuring out how to sustain myself once I actually make the move. I don't think I'd lean solely on traditional farming just to sell crops, though; I'd much rather focus on mastering newer technologies that allow me to work remotely from home.

If you've been steering your life in this direction all along, why wouldn't you just go for it? You'll eventually figure out if this is truly how you want to live, or if things like kids or school will make you want to pivot later on. Life is flexible, right? This isn't some permanent, unchangeable vow.

I know two couples who took this leap. One couple with two little kids ended up regretting it because their lives turned into nothing but grueling physical labor just to cover the basics. The other couple seems really happy and shows no signs of wanting to change their lifestyle—they clearly value nature above everything else. My only concern for them is how their child will socialize, since they're growing up a bit isolated, but I guess we'll just have to see how that plays out.

Morgan Newman7 said:If you're living rural, farming is the obvious move. If you're into minimalism and don't want to chase the dollar, farming still makes sense... just trade your extra crops with the neighbors.

Thinking about those new series on the Land of Opportunity lately... stories about people ditching their corporate gigs to go all-in on the land and build their own brands. Like this lawyer from Austria who runs a goat farm making high-end cheese. Or some guy growing peppers and making artisanal chili sauces. It looks great on screen, but those folks had startup capital, a solid plan, and they're using modern tech for production and sales. From what I can tell, you haven't even figured out what you want to do yet—that feels like the real hurdle...

Yeah, I caught a glimpse of the Land of Opportunity this past Sunday. This guy—well, he’s not really a "kid" anymore since he's 37—started growing hot peppers after dropping out of MIT. He runs a Family Farm on land he inherited from his parents, who basically work alongside him and his girlfriend every single day. But honestly? The real reason he's killing it isn't just the grind or the family teamwork—it's how he branded everything. Most of his stuff moves online through social media, plus he even has a shop right in the middle of New York City. One restaurant owner who buys from them put it perfectly, though: you can't make it happen overnight.
Look, if you actually want to make a living off the Land of Opportunity today, you’ve gotta be crafting stuff—you know, adding that extra layer of value through actual sweat and creativity. But here’s the catch—you can only pull that off if you're surrounded by people who can actually afford to pay more than some cheap supermarket markup. And those folks? They mostly live in places like New York City and the surrounding suburbs. So, you end up becoming exactly what you were trying to avoid—just another merchant catering to the high-end crowd. I guess that's kind of a paradox for the OP, isn't it?

Matthew Gomez2 said:Not a single one. You’re lecturing me far too much.

The shortest possible answer, yet look at how much unearned wisdom he tries to cram into it.🤣

Morgan Newman7 said:If you're living rural, farming is the obvious move. If you're into minimalism and don't want to chase the dollar, farming still makes sense... just trade your extra crops with the neighbors.

Thinking about those new series on the Land of Opportunity lately... stories about people ditching their corporate gigs to go all-in on the land and build their own brands. Like this lawyer from Austria who runs a goat farm making high-end cheese. Or some guy growing peppers and making artisanal chili sauces. It looks great on screen, but those folks had startup capital, a solid plan, and they're using modern tech for production and sales. From what I can tell, you haven't even figured out what you want to do yet—that feels like the real hurdle...

That sounds absolutely fantastic; I am genuinely intrigued, so you can count me in to tune in this Sunday. 🙂

Life can get pretty dull sometimes. (And yeah, don't forget—the dark side always finds a way to show up)
Overall, things are chill enough.
As long as you aren't making waves, you're good.

Ryan Wilson2, do you actually plan on having electricity and running water at the property, or a reliable way to fund a vehicle? I know several people who tried to move out to remote rural plots they inherited from their grandparents—places their parents fled from in the first place—thinking they could just live off the Earth and hard labor. It turned into a nightmare. They had their power cut off; they were literally starving. And if you have a child, not having a steady income could be fatal; you might even lose them to Child Protective Services. As a starting point, I suggest you try cutting twenty cords of wood for the winter yourself. That will be your first real indicator of whether you're cut out for this. Heating has become the single largest expense in modern life.

cosmicwalker21 said:Ryan Wilson2, do you actually plan on having electricity and running water at the property, or a reliable way to fund a vehicle? I know several people who tried to move out to remote rural plots they inherited from their grandparents—places their parents fled from in the first place—thinking they could just live off the Earth and hard labor. It turned into a nightmare. They had their power cut off; they were literally starving. And if you have a child, not having a steady income could be fatal; you might even lose them to Child Protective Services. As a starting point, I suggest you try cutting twenty cords of wood for the winter yourself. That will be your first real indicator of whether you're cut out for this. Heating has become the single largest expense in modern life.

I don't think you really caught the essence of what I was saying, but I won't go in circles here; I grew up in rural America, so there isn't much about this lifestyle that feels foreign to me.

I caught that part. You aren't wrong, but you need to prepare properly. Fix up the house where you plan to live first—focus on the roof and the windows. Check the electrical work. Get yourself a chainsaw, a lawnmower, a tractor, and a trailer. Move out to the countryside, but don't just dive in blindly. Don't rely solely on farming, either. Make sure you have a vehicle. Also, learn a trade so you can pick up odd jobs around town. Painting, tiling, plumbing... You won't be working constantly, but believe me, when things get tight, you will need some liquid cash.

cosmicwalker21 said:I caught that part. You aren't wrong, but you need to prepare properly. Fix up the house where you plan to live first—focus on the roof and the windows. Check the electrical work. Get yourself a chainsaw, a lawnmower, a tractor, and a trailer. Move out to the countryside, but don't just dive in blindly. Don't rely solely on farming, either. Make sure you have a vehicle. Also, learn a trade so you can pick up odd jobs around town. Painting, tiling, plumbing... You won't be working constantly, but believe me, when things get tight, you will need some liquid cash.

I appreciate the advice; as I mentioned in my intro, I'm currently teaching myself how to code.

Matthew Gomez2 said:I appreciate the advice; as I mentioned in my intro, I'm currently teaching myself how to code.

That sounds great. If you can land a remote role, even better. Imagine working from a porch in the suburbs with a coffee in hand.

⁸

Linda Wood96 said:I guess the biggest issue with this whole "isolated paradise" fantasy is the kids. And from what I can tell, you’re actually planning on having them—which, man, good luck with that. Once they hit public school and face the real world, they’re gonna see what everyone else has. If you aren't providing everything their classmates have, they’ll probably just shut down at first—then eventually, they might even turn on you. To avoid that total meltdown, reality's gonna hit you hard, and you'll end up grinding through every job you can find just to keep them from feeling left out. There's that old saying about how you only truly grow up once you stop putting yourself first—usually happens the second you have kids. Though, I suppose there are those rare types who prioritize others regardless of blood—like doctors or whatever.
And maybe you’re sitting there thinking—how am I even supposed to explain to my kids that life isn't all about rocking Nike sneakers or designer sweats? Like, they can look totally fine in some cheap stuff from Target, but they’re still gonna feel left out—I guess. It'll be because they missed that one big trip, or you didn't shell out for those fancy private language tutors, or they aren't playing any sports, or they missed out on summer vacation... or hell, even just not having enough for an ice cream. There's always gonna be something—it's just how it is—and you'll end up feeling like you failed them, or at least like you aren't doing as much as everyone else.

It’s easy for those high-and-mighty types—popes, bishops, even the Dalai Lama—to spout all that deep philosophy, I guess... but once you've actually got kids to look after? Reality hits you like a freight train—and then you finally get what life is actually about, you know? What it means to live—and how fast it all slips away.

I spent most of my childhood out in the country.
And I didn't miss a single thing until I moved to the city. That's when things like sneakers, branded clothes, phones, money, and just... well, chasing girls and messing around became the priority.
There is nothing crazier or more mindless than urban life.
Now that I've done the whole loop—finished college, chased the career, made more than enough for myself—I find myself craving that freedom and the life out in the sticks again...
Kids in the country aren't "deprived" unless it's just in someone's delusional head.
They live healthier lives, they grow up grounded, they're practical, hardworking, and have good habits. They don't necessarily have to miss out on education or skills, either...
City kids mostly just mess around, glued to their phones, while parents try to shove them into sports just so they don't get too lazy.
When puberty hits, it doesn't matter if they're in the city or the country—they're gonna act out. Kids are gonna go their own way sooner or later; it's just natural.
I honestly feel for anyone stuck with those bad mindsets who can't raise healthy, capable, confident kids. People who don't know how to teach them to appreciate what they have instead of constantly moping about what they don't.

Matthew Gomez2 said:Hello everyone. Lately, I’ve been distilling my various life phases into one singular direction, and I wanted to put it out there to get some perspective from those who might know better. 😉

I’ve walked away from college entirely.
I’ve deleted all my social media accounts for good.
I’ve cut ties with about 99% of people, leaving just my girlfriend and my parents.
I’ve bought over a hundred books on psychology and philosophy with the intention of deepening my self-understanding—fields I’ve always had an affinity for.
I’ve dedicated myself to daily reflection, thinking through how to decouple myself from the machine as much as possible.
I’ve embraced minimalism (getting rid of about 80% of my wardrobe, sticking to a specific diet, and refusing to spend money unless it's absolutely necessary).
I’ve started learning the ropes of investing and building passive income streams that could eventually overtake my primary income once I leave my current job.
The plan is to move out to the countryside with my girlfriend and live a quiet life, far removed from the noise of shallow people and the frantic pace of modern life.
I’ve replaced all my bad habits with ones that actually hold value.

Am I being realistic here, or have I completely sabotaged my future? Does this kind of mindset actually lead anywhere?

To be fair, if someone else had made these moves overnight, it would have been catastrophic. But I didn't just snap; I spent a long time sharpening my blade before I finally cut everything loose. Because of that, none of this feels overwhelming. In fact, after a long period of sleepwalking, indulgence,
and believing in fairy tales, I feel incredibly awake and driven.

A little story to wrap this up:

There was a man living in a coastal town who would spend his mornings fishing and selling his catch, his afternoons working on personal projects, and his evenings sitting by the beach with his wife and kids, drinking wine and playing the guitar.

One day, an American businessman arrived. He noticed the fisherman and approached him, asking if he could offer some advice.

The man agreed, and the American said, "I can help you significantly increase your sales. You could buy more boats and gear, hire a few employees, eventually move to a major city to start a firm, and ultimately end up in New York City running several global companies."

The man simply asked, "And how long would that take?"

"Well, maybe twenty or twenty-five years," the businessman replied.

The man asked, "And then what?"

The businessman answered, "Then you'll be able to fish in the mornings, work on yourself in the afternoons, and spend your evenings by the beach with your family, drinking wine and playing the guitar."

That resonates deeply with me. I’ve taken it to heart. What is the point of grinding every single day for someone else just to satisfy the emotional whims of others, or to remain enslaved to our own habits and useless clutter?
Establishing a meaningful existence is actually quite simple; it just requires the discipline to understand what a human being is truly meant for.

Why wait to actually live your life when you already know what you want and realize most of what the world chases isn't even real?

Thanks for reading. I'm open to any thoughts—whether it's practical advice on setting up a life in rural America or suggestions on what kind of work I should pursue.

I hope no one finds this topic out of place here, but to me, this is fundamentally about spirituality, self-discovery, and shattering the illusions of what we think is real versus what is just a fantasy of the mind.😵

Just fix your income and go to the Moon if that's what you want.
Living in the country means zero stress and escaping the endless madness of just trying to exist.
Living costs are way lower, utilities don't break the bank, and you can even grow your own food if you're feeling it. You'll actually have some breathing room to focus on yourself—you know, self-improvement stuff—and honestly, life just feels a lot more grounded when people stop trying to sell you all that nonsense and fake dreams...
Just keep the kids and their schooling in mind when you're picking a spot...

Donna White50 said:Just fix your income and go to the Moon if that's what you want.
Living in the country means zero stress and escaping the endless madness of just trying to exist.
Living costs are way lower, utilities don't break the bank, and you can even grow your own food if you're feeling it. You'll actually have some breathing room to focus on yourself—you know, self-improvement stuff—and honestly, life just feels a lot more grounded when people stop trying to sell you all that nonsense and fake dreams...
Just keep the kids and their schooling in mind when you're picking a spot...

More time for yourself? Seriously? I know plenty of folks out in rural America who don't have a single second to themselves because they're constantly planting, digging, weeding, harvesting, tinkering—you're working from sunrise to sunset just to scrape together a handful of vegetables to eat. And don't even get me started on wood heat; you're chopping, prepping, hauling logs... it's endless.

It all sounds absolutely wonderful and idyllic on paper, but in reality? It's nothing like that.

Donna White50 said:⁸

I spent most of my childhood out in the country.
And I didn't miss a single thing until I moved to the city. That's when things like sneakers, branded clothes, phones, money, and just... well, chasing girls and messing around became the priority.
There is nothing crazier or more mindless than urban life.
Now that I've done the whole loop—finished college, chased the career, made more than enough for myself—I find myself craving that freedom and the life out in the sticks again...
Kids in the country aren't "deprived" unless it's just in someone's delusional head.
They live healthier lives, they grow up grounded, they're practical, hardworking, and have good habits. They don't necessarily have to miss out on education or skills, either...
City kids mostly just mess around, glued to their phones, while parents try to shove them into sports just so they don't get too lazy.
When puberty hits, it doesn't matter if they're in the city or the country—they're gonna act out. Kids are gonna go their own way sooner or later; it's just natural.
I honestly feel for anyone stuck with those bad mindsets who can't raise healthy, capable, confident kids. People who don't know how to teach them to appreciate what they have instead of constantly moping about what they don't.

Times have changed since you were a kid growing up in the country. Besides, my reply to the OP was mostly about having steady income, which wasn't really clear in the first few posts. He mentioned later he'd dive into coding and work remotely from home.

Explorer Ben Fogl introduces a new group of fearless souls who moved out into the wilderness and completely reinvented how they live.