I don't trust anyone anymore...

Just a little psychological warfare, right? It’s a two-way street.

Sam Robinson said:Honestly, I’ve reached a point where I just don't care anymore whether I can trust someone or not... People are going to interpret whatever you say through their own distorted lens anyway, so why bother? It’s gotten to the point where I find myself trusting fewer and fewer people every single day.

But if we look at chronic distrust through the lens of empirical observation, there are usually a few specific psychological drivers behind it:

1. The individual is a liar themselves—someone who manipulates, plays dirty, and smears anyone in their path just to get what they want. Because they aren't delusional enough to deny their own shady tactics, they naturally assume everyone else is playing the same game.

2. The person has been repeatedly victimized—someone who has been exploited, lied to, manipulated, and brainwashed over and over again, eventually developing a deep-seated cynicism as a survival mechanism.

3. A toxic combination of both scenario 1 and scenario 2.

And frankly, that last one seems to be the most common pattern I see out there...

I struggle with chronic distrust myself. In the last few years, I only truly trusted one person, and let's just say I got burned pretty badly. I definitely don't see myself making that mistake again.☕

ambercrane722 said:Just a little psychological warfare, right? It’s a two-way street.

But really, how 😉

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:I honestly think you’re just going through one of those major life shifts, Carol Sullivan. Once you finally kick all those exhausting, fake, and toxic people to the curb, you’ll notice a whole new crowd of actual decent humans starting to show up. 🙂 I’ve definitely felt that shift myself—it’s something I’ve seen happen to plenty of my own friends and acquaintances too.

Sure, you might still run into some unpleasant types from time to time, but they won’t stick around for long.

Personally, I don't think this post is really about life transitions; it feels more like it's about personality.
For as long as I can remember, I haven't really trusted people—or, to put it better, I tend to take everything they say with a grain of salt. It’s actually something I learned over time; growing up with parents and family members who occasionally let me down or broke their word really encouraged this sense of distrust to develop.
It's just how a person learns to be cautious and, well, simply not trust easily. Some people close to me find this very offensive, and in some ways, they have a point, but in other ways, I think I'm just using my skepticism as a way to protect myself.
Besides, I believe trust is something that has to be earned. That doesn't necessarily have anything to do with being a "positive" person.

I wouldn't go so far as to call it an innate personality trait. It’s more like a defense mechanism—a habit you pick up after getting burned too many times in the past. Think about it this way: say you encounter one or even several of those genuinely positive people I'm talking about. How long can that deep-seated distrust of everyone actually last if they were constantly there for you, lifting your spirits, really listening, and being the kind of support system most people dream of?

Sam Robinson said:Honestly, I’ve reached a point where I just don't care anymore whether I can trust someone or not... People are going to interpret whatever you say through their own distorted lens anyway, so why bother? It’s gotten to the point where I find myself trusting fewer and fewer people every single day.

But if we look at chronic distrust through the lens of empirical observation, there are usually a few specific psychological drivers behind it:

1. The individual is a liar themselves—someone who manipulates, plays dirty, and smears anyone in their path just to get what they want. Because they aren't delusional enough to deny their own shady tactics, they naturally assume everyone else is playing the same game.

2. The person has been repeatedly victimized—someone who has been exploited, lied to, manipulated, and brainwashed over and over again, eventually developing a deep-seated cynicism as a survival mechanism.

3. A toxic combination of both scenario 1 and scenario 2.

And frankly, that last one seems to be the most common pattern I see out there...

We live in an era defined by manipulation. Honestly, I don't know a single person who hasn't told a lie at some point. We are conditioned to accept minor manipulations, and frankly, many people don't even realize when they are being manipulative.

A certain level of caution is just common sense; you can never be 100% certain about the character of anyone you meet. In my experience, those who are overly "open"—people who treat everyone with immediate, intense familiarity—are often the ones who end up giving you a headache. It isn't always because they are malicious, but more often because they are simply indiscreet and lack boundaries.

Of course, the hardest part is when someone you considered close betrays you. That's when people tend to build "walls of mistrust" against everyone, which can eventually spiral into something pathological.

Ultimately, I think the most important thing to realize is that anyone can let you down—including ourselves. Carrying excessive suspicion toward everyone else is simply an exhausting way to live.

That doesn't mean you should spill your life story to every stranger you meet, but having a strong intuitive sense of who is trustworthy and who isn't is vital.

Negative experiences are inevitable; it’s all about how you process them. Personally, I keep a very small circle of truly close people (even within my own family), and I find it quite easy to cut others out of my life without much emotional fallout. It doesn't rattle me.

Don’t trust anyone but yourself. Everything people do, everything they live for, and everything they love—it’s all done for themselves, through themselves, and by themselves.
So, it isn't really about whether you trust someone or not. It's about whether that person reflects who I am back to me, serving as a tool for me to discover more of myself.

And if someone betrays you, it simply means they’ve moved on. They're sending you a final message, giving you one last gift: you experienced yourself through them for exactly as long as was necessary, because if it hadn't happened, it wouldn't have. Now, I'm moving on, leaving behind the space and the void for new opportunities to find myself again.

You’re going to have to undergo the slow process of learning how to trust people again.
If you spend your entire life overanalyzing everyone and maintaining a constant state of suspicion, you’ll end up living a miserable existence, devoid of friends, partners, or any meaningful connection.
The truth is, we are social creatures by nature; without community and genuine communication with others, we inevitably descend into loneliness and depression.

Therefore, it is essential to engage with those around you—whether it's family, old friends, or colleagues at work... it really doesn't matter where.
Look, let's be realistic: eventually, people will let you down. Not everyone, certainly not all, but most people will at some point. The real question isn't whether they will fail you, but rather what kind of character they possess in general.
If someone has been a true friend to you, one mistake or one instance of betrayal doesn't mean you should immediately cut them out of your life.
Instead, try sitting them down, having an honest conversation about the issue, and attempting to resolve it.

However, if you notice a pattern where someone is constantly undermining you, trying to smear your reputation, or actively plotting against you, then it is far better to distance yourself from such individuals.

Simply put, reach out to old friends or make an effort to meet new ones. Over time, you will begin to see their true colors, and only then can you decide whether or not they are worthy of your trust.

I don't really give a damn about anyone else's stories. Doesn't matter if they're true or if I buy them... I generally don't believe half the crap people say to my face, let alone what they're telling everyone else.

I’ll never forget this one guy I met selling stuff down at Pike Place Market... he just looks at my buddy and goes: "Man, it's easy to lie to someone else."

But here's the kicker, he says: "The real problem is when you start lying to yourself."

Pure gold...

That's basically a warning for all those people who put everyone on a pedestal and believe every word they hear... only to end up getting burned later. 😲

People lie constantly, and honestly, I don't think it’s surprising that we’ve become such an analytical society. We’re essentially conditioned to be deceived from the moment we're born. It’s exhausting, really—watching people who are clearly struggling through a miserable existence pretend to everyone else that they’ve never been better. As for this whole idea of being brutally honest and telling it exactly like it is? Sure, you'll lose a lot of friends because of it, but that’s simply because most people can't handle the truth. I can't tell you how many times someone has looked me in the eye and said, "If you have something to say about me, don't talk behind my back, say it to my face." Guess what happened when I actually did.

You just can't trust people with small energy

Sent from my Galaxy via Reddit

ambergull said:You’re going to have to undergo the slow process of learning how to trust people again.
If you spend your entire life overanalyzing everyone and maintaining a constant state of suspicion, you’ll end up living a miserable existence, devoid of friends, partners, or any meaningful connection.
The truth is, we are social creatures by nature; without community and genuine communication with others, we inevitably descend into loneliness and depression.

Therefore, it is essential to engage with those around you—whether it's family, old friends, or colleagues at work... it really doesn't matter where.
Look, let's be realistic: eventually, people will let you down. Not everyone, certainly not all, but most people will at some point. The real question isn't whether they will fail you, but rather what kind of character they possess in general.
If someone has been a true friend to you, one mistake or one instance of betrayal doesn't mean you should immediately cut them out of your life.
Instead, try sitting them down, having an honest conversation about the issue, and attempting to resolve it.

However, if you notice a pattern where someone is constantly undermining you, trying to smear your reputation, or actively plotting against you, then it is far better to distance yourself from such individuals.

Simply put, reach out to old friends or make an effort to meet new ones. Over time, you will begin to see their true colors, and only then can you decide whether or not they are worthy of your trust.

But why? 🙄 Especially this idea that one "must"...

Because if you spend all your time analyzing everyone and remaining perpetually suspicious, you're going to end up with a miserable existence, devoid of friends, partners, or any meaningful connection.

Sure... and? I suppose a vast majority of people live exactly like that. Does that mean they don't belong to "you" or "us"? ☕

We are social creatures; without society—meaning, communication with others—we inevitably fall into loneliness and depression.

So, who is this "we"? Who are these "people" who aren't social beings?

It's an interesting way to explain depression... I can see the logic regarding loneliness, perhaps, but I'm not entirely convinced an individual is solely responsible for their own depression. Not when framed by such rigid, arbitrary divisions like "us humans."🙂

Who exactly are "YOU"? 😬

Bryan Martinez2 said:People lie constantly, and honestly, I don't think it’s surprising that we’ve become such an analytical society. We’re essentially conditioned to be deceived from the moment we're born. It’s exhausting, really—watching people who are clearly struggling through a miserable existence pretend to everyone else that they’ve never been better. As for this whole idea of being brutally honest and telling it exactly like it is? Sure, you'll lose a lot of friends because of it, but that’s simply because most people can't handle the truth. I can't tell you how many times someone has looked me in the eye and said, "If you have something to say about me, don't talk behind my back, say it to my face." Guess what happened when I actually did.

Why does it even matter if they're lying about being happy? If they're lying, they're mostly lying to themselves. Don't exhaust yourself worrying about the fake happiness of others. Focus on your own life. Just remember: the true measure of happiness isn't what you possess, but what you actually desire.

I don't trust anyone. Not even a single soul. That’s why I start spinning yarns the second I open my mouth... and half the time I just stay quiet because if I do, there's no way I can keep the lies straight.

I honestly can't bring myself to trust anyone anymore😢
It’s exhausting, really. I just wish I actually had someone in my life I could lean on.

hiddentinker19 said:I honestly can't bring myself to trust anyone anymore😢
It’s exhausting, really. I just wish I actually had someone in my life I could lean on.

That kind of thing only exists in fairy tales. Just trust yourself and your own gut...

goldengull28 said:I don't trust anyone. Not even a single soul. That’s why I start spinning yarns the second I open my mouth... and half the time I just stay quiet because if I do, there's no way I can keep the lies straight.

Oh, it just hit me. I actually finished writing that program for you, but it totally slipped my mind to hit send. I'll get it over to you once I finally get back home to my PC.

Kate Palmer53 said:Oh, it just hit me. I actually finished writing that program for you, but it totally slipped my mind to hit send. I'll get it over to you once I finally get back home to my PC.

Tell me about it.

goldengull28 said:I don't trust anyone. Not even a single soul. That’s why I start spinning yarns the second I open my mouth... and half the time I just stay quiet because if I do, there's no way I can keep the lies straight.

hiddentinker19 said:I honestly can't bring myself to trust anyone anymore😢
It’s exhausting, really. I just wish I actually had someone in my life I could lean on.

Trusting oneself might be enough
🧐

goldengull28 said:That kind of thing only exists in fairy tales. Just trust yourself and your own gut...

So, there it is. If
you claim to trust yourself, perhaps you should examine the underlying reason for that. Maybe—and this is just a thought—you might find similar motivations lurking in others if you look closely enough... 👍
I suspect that approaching new acquaintances with a sense of maximum self-protection is vital. To be blunt, nobody can guarantee that everyone won't eventually let you down or deceive you. However, when you weigh the actual statistical probability of *everyone* doing that, it seems unlikely. Perhaps adopting a specific, cautious method of getting to know people is simply a way to mitigate the fallout and protect yourself from the inevitable sting of disappointment, wouldn't you agree?
😉

goldengull28 said:Tell me about it.

😵